Always Us by Lizzie Morton
Ten
Jake
I had a plan for tonight. I wanted to get Abby alone, spend some time with her and try to clear the air, somewhere neutral without everyone else around watching and adding pressure to an already volatile situation. The summer back in Brooklyn, it’s what worked best and when we made some progress, I’m sticking with what I know. Well, that was the plan.
This summer is spiraling out of control, nothing makes sense, and I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I’m still no clearer in what I thought I would achieve by dragging her here. Did I think she would come running back, take one look at me and beg for me to give her a second chance? Maybe if I saw a shrink, they would say that on some subconscious level it’s what I’m trying to achieve. But it’s unlikely to happen, considering at the first sign of trouble she bolted out of Brooklyn faster than Usain Bolt, leaving me for dust.
Now, I’m like a duck out of water and if my head was screwed before we came on tour, it’s like a nuclear explosion now. Things weren’t working in my favor anyway, and when Amanda showed up before our set, it well and truly messed things up. Everyone looked at me, pointing a finger, as if there was no way it could be a coincidence that my two ex-girlfriends were here on the same tour, ‘by chance’. Yes, I might have been responsible for one, but the blonde, that was nothing to do with me.
I should have known there was a chance it could happen. We were together for four years and I knew which PR company she worked for. She was the one who helped get the band on the radar, because she’s good at what she does. But if I’d have known she was scheduled on our tour, I would have put my foot down. Why would I want the girl I left for Abby, spending a whole summer with me and Abby? It’s so messed up I can’t get my head around it.
Sure, it’s nice seeing her again, especially after how we left things when we broke up, but it would have been equally as nice bumping into her in a bar back home, when we could have said goodbye after sharing a beer together. Not having to spend the next six weeks with her on my European fucking tour, while cooped up on a bus. But it’s too late, the damage is done. Abby was pissed anyway, and when she saw Amanda, she looked about ready to combust. Any hope of having nice amenable Abby to work with has gone out ofthe window.
As soon as the set and PR bits were over with, I shot out of there as quickly as I could, letting the guys know I’d catch up with them later. Heading over to Las Ramblas, I booked a table at the smallest, most intimate restaurant I could find. I was hoping that if she was going to be pissed with me, I might stand a chance at winning her over with a bit of romance on my side.
What I wasn’t expecting, was to turn up a couple of hours later at The Triangle Stage where the guys messaged me to meet them and find her being serenaded by the lead fucking singer of Six Seconds to Barcelona. Only Abby West could go on a European Tour and unknowingly gain the attention of one of the biggest names in modern rock music.
I’ve met the guy a couple of times and always thought he seemed fine, just a normal guy considering how famous he is. But now, standing and watching her look up at the stage with adoration written all over her face, after he’s just dedicated a goddamn song to her in front of thousands of people in one of the most exciting and romantic cities in the world … I want to rip his face off.
If I wasn’t confused enough over what I wanted to achieve this summer, watching her watch him, the words ‘she’s mine’ run through my mind over and over. All I can think about is how I’m going to get the asshole to back off. There’s no way I can compete.
“Hey man, you good?” shouts Sam over the music.
We’re standing off to the side of the group, meaning there’s no risk anyone will overhear us.
“Just great,” I reply, my eyes bouncing back and forth between Abby and her new love interest.
“Did you get whatever you needed to do done?”
“Yeah. Not that it matters now …” I grumble, looking down and kicking the floor.
Sam looks confused, but my expression must tell him not to push it any further as he doesn’t pry. What would be the point in taking her somewhere after this performance? I’ll be wanting her undivided attention and all she’ll be able to do is think about him.
I wonder if she remembers the night at the party two years ago, when we dedicated a song to her, right before we made it big. The night I swept her off her feet and fucked her senseless all night long. Not that it made much of a difference, it seems to take more than a good lay to tie her down. I’m evidence of that as she still dumped my sorry ass and shot out of Brooklyn the first chance she got. And what have I heard from her in two years? Nothing.
It's as if that whole summer meant nothing to her. If that’s the case, then I’ll have to make it mean nothing to me.
Easier said than done.
***
Abby
“Oh. My. GOD!” shrieks Zoe. “Did last night seriously happen? Like seriously? Like a rock star dedicated a song to you, in front of thousands of people, and made googly eyes at you for the rest of the night?”
“EEEEEK!” squeal Sophie and Sooz at the same time.
“How on earth do you do it?” asks Sooz.
“For one, I take a break from work.” I blow a kiss in her direction to show I’m joking, sort of.
“I cannot believe you ate ice cream with Dan White from Six Seconds to Barcelona,” says Sophie and laughs. “Only you would be able to do that and not know who he was, especially meeting him in Barcelona. I wonder what he thought when you didn’t realize who he was the other night?”
“I did say that I felt I knew him from somewhere,” I say quietly, slightly embarrassed at my blunder. Everyone spent the night laughing at my expense, but I was too shell shocked to care. “Now I know where.”
“Obviously!” The girls all shout together, before collapsing back on the bed in hysterics.
“Did he say when he would see you again?” ask Zoe eagerly.
My face drops and I shake my head. “Not for a couple of weeks.”
We only met a couple of nights ago and already I’m like some love-struck teenager.
“Why so long?”
“Their tour dates don’t coincide with ours until we get to France.”
I wish they did though. I wish we had more time to explore this thing between us. We had a little bit of time after their set last night to grab a drink in the VIP area, but it wasn’t the same as being in LasRamblas where we had our own space to get to know each other without people watching. The night felt like it went all too quick, especially with people constantly interrupting, needing his attention, which he apologized for over and over. All too soon we were reluctantly saying goodbye.
“Makes sense. You have his cell number, right?”
“Yeah …” I sigh, as my mind trails off into a daydream reliving the night, it was like living in a movie.
“Well, there’s nothing like a bit of sexting, or even phone sex, to keep him wanting more.” Zoe wiggles her eyebrows suggestively, while Sooz and Sophie snort in amusement.
“Not gonna happen,” I reply bluntly, trying to convince myself of the same thing.
Zoe whines, “Oh come on. You’ve got to keep him on his toes, you can’t just go radio silent.”
“I won’t, but that doesn’t mean I have to tease him with sex. We are capable of using our time together to have real conversations, like normal people do.”
“But that’s boring. And Dan isn’t a normal person, he’s a world-famous rock star!”
“Well, it’s what we did the first night. Maybe he likes normal.”
She’s beginning to annoy me. The last thing I need is the pressure to start acting like a sex crazed groupie. That’s not what drew him to me the first night here in Barcelona and I refuse to change or try to compete because he’s the lead singer of one of the biggest bands in the world. Damnit. I’m in over my head.
“Anyway,” interrupts Sooz, knowing the way these sorts of conversations between me and Zoe can go. “We best get packing, there’s been a slight change of plan.”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
I don’t like the sound of this, and the way the summer is going, it won’t be anything good.
“Well …” she says. She’s hesitating and I have a strong suspicion it’s because she doesn’t want to give me the news.
“Go on,” I urge. There’s no way she’s getting out of this, I’m going to find out eventually.
“There may have been a mix-up with our flights. Don’t ask me what happened as I’ve no idea. I found out last night and didn’t want to ruin your Dan driven high.” She looks away, not wanting to meet my eye.
“What does that mean then? How are we meant to get from Barcelona to the Czech Republic?”
“That’s the thing … I rang Ange and she was reluctant to book another round of flights with the potential for them to be cancelled again. Especially as the tour schedule is so tight, and with how many mess ups there have been already. She went ahead and cancelled the rest of our commercial flights for the tour and said we had a more reliable option.”
“What the hell?”
My breaths become short and I know what is about to come out of Sooz’s mouth next, but I pray to God that it doesn’t. She waits for me to signal when I’m ready to hear the rest of what she has to say. When I feel like I get my breathing marginally under control, I nod for her to continue.
“Yeah, so anyway … for the rest of the tour the PR team is travelling with the band.” Her lighthearted tone doesn’t match the strained expression on her face.
“On a private plane, right? That’s not too bad, it could be worse.” Sighing in relief, I smile again, but it’s quickly wiped off my face when Sooz carries on speaking.
“No. They’re not using a private jet. With it being their first tour, they wanted to experience everything true rock band style and requested a tour bus.”
“Hang on a minute. You’re telling me we’re going to be living on a bus for the next six weeks? With Jake?”
“Maybe?” she squeaks, then darts off the bed and starts to frantically fill up her cup of coffee.
Meanwhile I remain where I am, trying to level my anger as I feel like I’m about to combust.
“You have got to be kidding me? Seriously? You can’t make this shit up.”
I let out a groan and bring my hands up to my face, biting down on my palm to stop myself from screaming the hotel room down. Sophie and Zoe both look down into their empty cups, not daring to say a word and risk disturbing the beast anymore. I’m starting to hyperventilate. The thought of just working on tour with Jake for a couple of months was bad enough, but now we are going to be living together for some of it too.
Me, him, and his ex-girlfriend. Not possible.
I’m talking to myself when I say, “Surely that’s not legal? I mean, how many people can you fit on one bus?”
“Have you ever watched any of the rock star movies? How do you think they managed to get so many groupies in their orgies?” chips in Zoe.
I turn, eyes blazing. “Not helping, Zo. Not helping at all.”
“Maybe this is a good thing?” says Sophie cheerily, trying to be reassuring.
“How can this be a good thing?” I ask dumbfounded. How she’s managing to see the positivity in one of the craziest situations any of us has been a part of is beyond me.
“Maybe it’s what you both need: some time to bond again?”
“Bond? Sophie, we screwed and I left the country. The guy hates me, and I don’t feel too great about him either. And now there’s Amanda too.”
“Try not to overthink it. Why don’t we just go with the flow and see what happens? You’ve got us all here for support, so it’s not like you’re going to be left alone with him.” She rubs my shoulder, then stands to begin packing.
“How long is it going to take for us to get to the next place?” I ask Sooz.
She looks up from where she has also begun packing.
“With rest stops for the driver, food stops, overnight stops and a couple of PR setups on the way … we’re looking at around three days. When we get there, we have our own hotel though. Fortunately, Ange didn’t decide to go overboard and save money for the whole trip by cancelling our accommodation as well. I think she realized a few days at a time travelling together between locations would be about all we could handle and still stay sane.”
It feels like the world is closing in on me and everything is going black. I’m trying not to spiral down into the darkness, but the thought of spending the next three days in proximity to Jake is more than I can handle.
“Abby, are you ok?” Sophie seems to be the only one noticing the extent of my despair.
“I think I need some air.” With that I jump up from the bed and walk out of the hotel. I couldn’t give a shit that I’m still in my pajamas, that I should be packing, and we have a schedule to stick to. This summer is proving to be one giant pain in my ass, so for once I’m going to be the inconvenience.
***
Two hours later, we manage to get everyone together in front of the bus, with the luggage loaded ready to leave. I refuse to look at anyone and stand with my back turned away from them, visibly fuming. I can’t hide how I’m feeling and I’m too angry to care what anyone thinks of how I’m behaving.
“Not how you thought your summer would go?” asks Zach, standing beside me, trying to figure out what I’m staring intently at.
He’s not as tall as the other guys in the band, but still taller than me, so I have to look up to see his face and when I do some of my anger waivers. Out of all the guys he is the most chilled out and we got along well when I was back home. He was supportive of me and Jake and everything that happened, which I was and still am thankful for.
“You could say that,” I reply, trying to make my voice sound friendlier than I’m feeling. None of this is his fault so he doesn’t deserve to have me take my foul mood out on him, especially when he’s showing that he cares how I’m coping with everything.
“It will be fine, Abby. You’ll get through this all because you’re strong.”
“I don’t really feel that way,” I say honestly.
“Come on, you know that you are. And I know Jake can be an asshole when he wants to be, but we both know deep down it’s because he cares so much.”
“Does he though?”
He smiles. “It’s pretty obvious. He worships the ground you stand on.”
“You didn’t hear about our first reunion then? Oh, and the one after that.”
He chuckles, then rubs a hand over his face. “I get what you’re saying, but he’s a good guy and you know he is. He cares about you … more than I think you realize. Sometimes he just doesn’t know how to show you. You guys didn’t exactly leave things on good terms.”
“Which wasn’t one hundred percent my fault. He knew what I needed, and he wouldn’t give it to me.”
“You didn’t exactly give him much time to come around.”
Clenching my fists at my side, I try not to get upset. This conversation doesn’t need to turn into an argument, not between me and Zach, as we’ve never been that way and I don’t want to start now.
“He knew what I needed from the very beginning, and that’s all that matters. It wasn’t just that night, he had more than one chance to tell me what I needed to hear.”
“I believe you. Just don’t give up on him, ok?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, don’t give up. I know there’s a new guy on the scene, but don’t forget about Jake. Make sure you still give him a chance.” I don’t know how to take what he’s saying, but it hits a nerve.
It was easy to give up on Jake when we weren’t in the same country, but when we’re near each other, it’s near impossible. Can I honestly say to myself that I’ve actually moved on from him, when all I’ve done for the past two years is avoid my feelings and bury myself in work? Whenever I’ve been alone, I’ve allowed my mind to wander back to all those times with him, feeling him, kissing him.
I can feel a flush rising to my cheeks and try to distract myself back to the conversation with Zach. I hear Amanda giggling sickeningly in the background and looking over my shoulder, I see her hanging off Jake, and watch as he smiles down at her. Jealousy once again threatens to rear its head, so I quickly turn away, not needing to watch anymore.
Quietly, I reply, “I’ll try.”
