In Death I Live by Lindsay Becs

ZORA

Rubbingthe sleep from my eyes, I make my way downstairs, following the smell of something delicious that has my stomach growling. I wrap my arms around my middle, pulling the hoodie I found on the floor of Cruz’s bedroom tightly to gain warmth from it.

I fell asleep in Cruz’s bed with both him and River, but when I woke up, I was alone. I guess I shouldn’t be upset that they both left me there, but it didn’t make it sting any less after all that we’d done and shared earlier.

Waking up naked and alone isn’t anything new for me. I still hate it all the same. The feeling that washes over me makes me feel used. Like the only thing I’m good for is a good fuck and nothing more.

“Hey, Zo-Zo,” Greyson calls when he sees me from his perch at the counter. I lamely wave, trudging forward, still feeling half asleep after the sex-athon I had earlier.

I hide the smile pulling on my lips with my sleeve-covered hand when I see Cruz at the stove, cooking. He looks over his shoulder, giving me a knowing smirk when his eyes trail up and down my bare legs under his hoodie. “You have a good nap, baby girl?” he asks, turning back to the stove.

Not feeling as bad about waking alone from his warm greeting, I walk to Cruz, leaning into his back and pressing a soft kiss to his bare skin. “I slept like the dead.”

He chuckles. “I fell asleep with you for a while. I just came down a little bit ago when your loud-ass stomach woke me up.” I blush, leaning into him more to cover my reddening cheeks, making him laugh more. “Figured I better come make you something to eat for when that hunger woke you up too.”

“It smells so good. What’re you making?”

Before he can answer, Greyson pipes in excitedly. “It’s taco Tuesday, Zo-Zo!”

Peeking around Cruz to look in the pan, I scrunch my nose. “That doesn’t look like the kind of tacos I’m used to.”

“That’s because your sexy white ass has probably never had actual tacos,” Cruz tells me. Nodding his head toward Greyson, he orders, “Go sit with Grey. This needs another ten minutes before the rice and beans are done.” He swats at my butt when I turn to leave him to his cooking. I attempt to shoot him a mean look, but it only makes him laugh again.

“You want a beer?” Greyson asks me.

Lifting a shoulder, I answer, “Sure.”

“Great. Can you grab another one for me too while you’re in there?” he says with a stupid smile when I stop and put a hand on my hip.

“You’re such an ass,” Cruz chuckles behind me.

Reaching into the fridge I pull out two beers, cocking a brow at Grey, who smiles bigger, like he won. But the joke’s on him when I pop the top and hand it to Cruz instead.

“Thanks, baby girl,” he says with an amused smirk, taking a sip from the bottle. There’s a drip that falls from his mouth when he pulls it away from his lips. Pressing up to my toes, I lean in and lick the drip from his chin.

Landing back on my flat feet, I bite my lip, looking up at Cruz with a coy expression. “You’re welcome.” With a growl, he pulls me into his body again, claiming my mouth with his in a searing kiss.

I melt into him, loving how his body feels against mine. When we hear a guttural fuck, we both turn to look at Greyson, who has a tortured look on his face. It’s pathetic, really. And also, kind of cute.

With a giggle, I walk to where Greyson sits opposite us. I set the bottle of beer down in front of him, but when he moves to grab it, I slide it away. “Nuh-uh,” I say. “No touching.” His eyes spark and dilate, exhilarating me.

Pulling myself up to the counter, I sit in front of Greyson. His eyes fall between my spread legs with a groan. I smile, already knowing he’s going to be the most fun to tease and torment of all these boys.

“Take your shirt off,” I tell him. He lifts a brow in defiance. Picking up my foot, I press it to his crotch, making his eyes widen in surprise. “Off. Now.” Behind me, I hear Cruz’s muffled laughter. I try to stay serious, but with the look on Greyson’s face before he whips off his shirt, it’s hard not to crack.

He’s already impressively hard, the gym shorts he’s wearing not doing anything to hide the tent he’s pitching. Rubbing my foot up his length, his eyes hood. His hands twitch on top of his thighs, but he doesn’t move to touch me—or the now-forgotten beer. Leaning forward, a whisper away from my lips touching his, I encourage him with a “good boy.”

Reaching for the bottle of beer, I tell him to tilt his head back and open his mouth. He listens, doing exactly as I told him. Having him do as I say is a new thrill I haven’t experienced before. And it’s turning me on.

Lifting the bottle, I pour some into his open mouth. “Swallow like a good boy,” I tell him. He obeys, some of the liquid sliding down his chin and neck. I watch as the droplets continue down his chest and abs.

Moving onto my knees, I lean forward, my hands on his thighs, and lick the path from his abs up, stopping to nip at his chin. The scruff on his face, rough against my tongue, makes me moan. Needing more, I press my lips to his, pulling his bottom lip into my mouth and sucking.

“Tacos are ready!” Cruz yells behind us, making me laugh against Greyson’s mouth when he groans in frustration.

Staring into Greyson’s blue eyes, I smile. “You’ve been a good boy. We’ll finish this later,” I promise him. “But for now, you earned your beer.” Sitting back, I hand him the bottle.

“How many tacos you want, baby girl?” Cruz asks behind me.

Not taking my eyes off of Greyson, I answer, “Three, please.”

“Grey?” Cruz asks him next.

“I only want one, but I guess I’m waiting for that,” he mumbles so low only I hear, making me bust out laughing. Greyson stands, wrapping an arm around me and pushing between my shoulder blades until I’m flush against him and kisses me again, silencing my laughter. Leaning forward, he whispers in my ear, “You are beautiful when you laugh freely. But, Zo? When I’m fucking that mouth later, I’m going to make sure you know how not funny it is to tease a man and then leave him with deep, dark blue balls.”

Stepping away from me, he looks up to Cruz. “I want five. I need sustenance for later.” He smirks.

Ignoring everything that just happened between Greyson and me while he cooked dinner for us, Cruz plates up tacos, rice and beans. Or as he calls it, pastor tacos, red rice and smashed beans.

“Oh my fuck, that’s good,” I praise, taking my first bite.

“Glad you approve,” Cruz says, taking a bite out of one of his tacos, eating half in one go.

“River was asking earlier if we’re doing the bonfire this year. Dom say anything to you?” Greyson asks Cruz around a mouthful.

Cruz shakes his head. “Nope. But if we are, it needs to happen soon. Snow is coming any day. Surprised it’s held off this long.”

“Dom has holed himself away in his office today. You know how he gets when that happens, so I’ve stayed clear of him. I’ll ask him tomorrow,” Grey tells him.

“Bonfire?” I ask slowly, not wanting to butt into something I shouldn’t.

“We do one every year before it starts snowing. Usually before now, but we’ve all been a little preoccupied.” Cruz grins at me.

I feel my cheeks heat in embarrassment. “Sorry.”

Greyson puts a finger under my chin to lift my head to look up at him. “Don’t be sorry. We’re happy you’re here.”

“Even with the deep, dark blue balls?” I ask, using his words from earlier.

His lips twitch to smile. “Yes. Even with your torture.” He tips his beer back, not taking his eyes off of me.

“So, what’s your job around here?” I ask, making him choke.

Cruz pounds on Greyson’s back as he coughs. “Way to ease into it,” Cruz says sarcastically. I shrug, not feeling bad for asking. I’m curious.

When he gets himself under control, Grey takes another sip of his beer. Rubbing his chest, he looks at me to answer. “Think of me as PR. I’m the one who keeps track of everyone. The guy people come to when they have a problem. I schedule jobs, drops, deliveries and meet-ups. I even help sift through the tips that come in.” He pauses and stares at me. Hard. “Like the one that brought you to us.”

The smile that was on my face from thinking about how perfect he is for that job, with his charm and fun personality, drops. My brows crease as he keeps staring at me. “What?”

Sucking his lip into his mouth, he nods. “We had gotten a tip from a reliable source that your buddy Shadows was on the move and where he had last been seen.” He leans forward with his elbow on the table. I lean back, away from this icy side of him that’s making me uncomfortable. “The very road they found you on.” I look over to Cruz, who’s watching quietly. He gives a small nod, letting me know that everything Greyson is telling me is true.

“I-I didn’t know.”

“How do you not know anything?”

“Because I don’t!” I yell, standing up from the table in frustration. Greyson leans back in his chair again, his arms crossed over his still-bare chest. Closing my eyes, I take in shallow breaths. “I’d been running and hiding from him for months. Years. I got careless, and he found me,” I tell them quietly before opening my eyes. “He held me for days. Tied to a bed where he beat the shit out of me, threatened me, if I didn’t do as he said. I was barely conscious when th—” I stop myself, but by the way they both shift, I know they caught it. I almost said his name. I swallow and continue. “When he left me on the side of the road. He left me, telling me to just walk and go with whoever stopped.” I shrug, lifting my arms at my sides, letting them fall back down, hitting my legs. “So, I did.” I swipe angrily at the tear falling down my cheek. “But make no mistake. I. Hate. Him,” I tell them, then turn to leave.

I need air. I need out of here and away from any boys.

Walking to the door that leads to the back of the kitchen, the one I saw Domonic come and go from the first night I had dinner with them when he grilled for everyone. I’m surprised when they let me go alone and don’t follow behind me.

Stopping just on the other side of the closed glass door, I slide down to my butt as tears fall down my face and I cry into my hands. How am I supposed to do this? How am I going to get through all of this? I can’t protect myself. How am I supposed to keep Remi safe too?

From behind my closed eyes, I see light shining. Lifting my head, I squint, shielding my eyes with my hands, to see the expanse of the yard. My mouth falls open when my blurred vision clears.

In front of me isn’t just a yard; it’s a damn forest. When I drop my hands, I feel stone. Looking down, I see I’m sitting on a large stone patio. Around me sits various pieces of outdoor furniture: a big square table and chairs, loungers and Adirondacks, a massive grill. Sniffing, I wipe my runny nose with the back of my hand and push myself up to stand. My eyes follow the steps in front of me down to where an expanse of grass sits between the compound and the thick forest.

“Impressive, isn’t it?” I jump hearing Greyson’s voice.

“Yeah,” I answer, my own voice sounding scratchy from my cries.

He pulls me into his side, his arms wrapping around me. “I’m sorry, Zo-Zo.”

“You had every right to question me. You all do,” I add quietly, leaning into the comfort and warmth he’s offering me. “You owe me nothing. Least of all an apology.”

He kisses the top of my head, his lips lingering as he inhales. “I don’t want to be your enemy.”

Moving in his arms, I look up at him. “Then don’t be.”

He stares at me. Studying me. “I’m not. Yet,” he adds. “But if you hurt one of my boys, I will destroy you, Zora.”

I don’t know why, but it makes me smile. “Good,” I reply to his threat. “I would too.”

Snuggling back into him, I hum in contentedness. He chuckles, bringing his lips to my head again. “You’re so weird.”

“You like it.”

“I do,” he sighs.

We stand there holding each other for a while. The only sound I hear is his heart beating in his chest. Moving to be at his front instead of his side, I press my lips to where I feel the steady drum.

Peeking at his face, now tipped down looking at me, I stare up from under my lashes. As I slide down his body, he tenses, watching me descend to my knees in front of him.

My hands rake down his stomach, stopping when they reach his waist. Slowly, I slide my hand over the front of his jeans, watching as his eyes darken as they hold mine. He’s already hard inside the confines of his pants under my hand.

“Zora.” He says my name like a warning. A warning I don’t heed as I unbuckle his belt, the metal ringing out in the silence around us.

I keep my eyes on his when I lower his zipper and tug on his jeans to pull them down.

I keep my eyes on his while I pull his long, hard cock from his boxers, setting the elastic band under his balls and earning a grunt in response.

I keep my eyes on his when I slide my hand up and down his velvety steel rod, thick and heavy in my hand.

I keep my eyes on his when I feel the first drip of pre-cum on my thumb as I slide up and collect the liquid reward.

I keep my eyes on his while I lean forward, flatten my tongue and lick up from his balls to the dripping head, sliding my tongue through the slit to collect more to taste his musk.

And when my lips close over him and I push down until I feel him at the back of my throat, making me gag, I still keep my eyes on his.

But they want to close.

They want to close because I’ve never felt so bare, so exposed, from eyes that keep me captive. I’m fully dressed, but I feel naked and raw with him as he stares back at me with the most hypnotizing blue eyes. They swirl and darken and spark with every movement I make, never wavering from mine.

Not when I gag. Not when he grips my hair and fucks my mouth. Not when tears spill from my eyes and saliva drips from my mouth. Not when my own greedy moans are muffled by his dick in my mouth.

No, his eyes stay on me. Keeping me as his and his alone in this moment.

When I feel him swell and the first jet of cum hits the back of my throat, I suck harder, wanting to take all of it. And I do.

That’s when his eyes leave mine. When his head falls back, almost like it’s pulled by a string, and the cords in his neck tense and his body pulls tight.

I lick and kiss and suck every part of him after I’ve swallowed everything as he let out a loud growl into the quiet night air.

When he picks his head back up and peers down at me again, he smiles at me. And it’s in that split second that I don’t see all the masks he usually hides under, but I see him. I see Greyson.

He helps me stand, and I return the favor by helping him tuck his magnificent dick back into his jeans.

And then he kisses me.

Sweet and soft and nothing like I thought he’d kiss me.

And it’s perfect.