Treating a Sinful Earl by Henrietta Harding
Chapter 17
Jasper had to admit that he was feeling quite different. Not only was Catherine’s company a balm to his soul, but it really did seem as though her tinctures were working! The delight that he took in this was only compounded when, the following day, Jasper sipped upon the tea that Catherine had sent to him and found that he felt even better after that.
Was there magic in what Catherine prepared for him? For surely, there was something beyond medicinal in what was happening to him. He was being transformed, body and soul.
“My son,” the Dowager Countess said, entering his study, “I have tried that tincture that you provided for me.”
“And?” Jasper asked in curiosity.
“I must say, the fatigue has lifted for the day. Where did you meet this remarkable girl?”
“I informed you that I met her at a ball. She has not been out in society much, and now she has a hasty need to marry.”
When he saw his mother arch her brow, he knew that he had said too much. “And what are you going to do about it?” his mother asked.
“What do you mean?”
“You know perfectly well what I mean, Jasper. She is a fine young woman and now she needs a husband!”
This was perplexing. He had had this discussion with his mother countless times. “She knows that I am a sick man,” Jasper admitted. “But she does not know to what extent. I finally had the courage to tell Felton, and he has not paid a call since.”
In truth, it had been mere days since he had seen Felton, so he probably should not look into it further, but it was troubling for him that his dear friend was perhaps suffering from the knowledge that he had imparted.
“You are too hard on yourself, Jasper,” his mother said, seating herself across from his desk. “You have enough to be concerned with. I beg you to consider this lady. Oh, but it seems silly to suggest such a thing after I tried one of her tinctures! But I see how you have changed since you have met her.”
This filled Jasper with curiosity, for certainly he felt what his mother spoke of but did not know that it was apparent. “How have I changed?”
“You are full of hope!” she explained. “That is something that I have not seen for some time. What’s more, there is new colour in your cheeks, and you have more energy.”
“This is from the tinctures, I promise you. They are having a positive physical effect.”
“Amongst other things.” His mother stared him down as only a mother could, with understanding in her eyes whilst also firmly suggesting something that she could not utter aloud.
Far from being frustrated by this, it seemed that it was the kind of encouragement that Jasper needed. He had to admit that it was positively horrifying, the notion of being honest with Catherine. He knew that she would still accept him, but every time he admitted to his malignant ailment it was as though he was confronting the truth yet again. Truly, in his heart and mind, all that he wished to do was pretend that it did not exist. It weighed so heavily upon his mind that at moments it was too hard to bear.
“I do not wish to show her my weakness, although she knows of it well. In her eyes, I wish to be a strong, capable man.”
“But you are!” the Dowager Countess protested. “I am sure that she can already see that. Son, this might be hard to believe, but when men are truly vulnerable with women, it does not push them away but only pulls them closer. I have the keen suspicion that that is what you desire.”
Jasper took another sip of his healing tea and scratched his chin. He considered her words, although they were still difficult to stomach, considering the fear that he felt lodged deeply in his breast.
There would come a time when it would be inevitable, and Jasper would have to tell Catherine the truth. But what if this moment passed him by? What if two months transpired and Catherine fled to London, where she found a husband just as Jasper was on his deathbed? This was the worst outcome of all and reminded Jasper that he needed to take action to prevent it.
“What is the best way to inform her?”
“Merely tell her the truth. She would be open to hearing it.”
“And marry her?” Jasper asked, sensing that this is what his mother was implying. “So that I might die, and she will be left behind to listen to your pestering?”
Jasper was being humorous, but he noticed that his mother did not care for this one bit. “As if I shall live forever!” she exclaimed. “If you truly love the girl, then make a decision for her future, as well as your own.”
Never in his life had his mother had such a serious conversation with him in regard to a lady. Perhaps there truly was something in those tinctures akin to a love potion! But this notion was preposterous because Jasper deeply trusted Catherine and knew that she would never do such a thing, even if she knew of a recipe that worked.
The study fell silent, and Jasper sipped his tea once more. There was no sense in arguing with his mother, and his thoughts on the subject were so nascent in his mind that any further discussion would be him merely talking aloud.
“I would care for some privacy, Mother. If you do not mind.”
“Of course, I mind!” she protested. “But I will afford you that, nonetheless. I shall be in my room.”
With that, the Dowager Countess stood and departed, leaving a bemused Jasper staring out the window. What was he to do? Just when he thought the recesses of his mind were too dark, Felton was announced and stepped into the study.
“Where have you been?” Jasper asked playfully.
“I have been adamantly pursuing Abigail. Where did you think I had gone?”
Jasper smiled warmly. “I feared that you were tired of your dying friend and chose to find a new best friend who would live long enough to see your wedding.”
Although this was more playful banter, Jasper watched as Felton’s face fell. He liked to make light of his illness, for it helped to lighten the load, but he would need to be more conscious of how this affected others.
“Do not say such things. I have considered what you told me, and I think that it is a load of nonsense. You are the sort of chap that never dies, even when others want him to.”
He was pleased that now Felton was making light of the situation. Felton seated himself with a huff, throwing back his head. Jasper could not help but say, “I suppose there is some truth to what you say. I do not feel as though I am dying most of the time, and often, I merely forget. Then, there is this horrible knot in my stomach, and I begin to sweat, the memory returning.” Jasper finished his tea and pushed it aside, feeling much stronger for having sipped it.
“Let us talk of other things. You shall be around for my wedding.”
“Is it going well with Abigail?” Jasper could not admit that he had asked Catherine about the matter.
“No, it most certainly is not, but I am a determined man and I know that I can bring her around. There is this overwhelming sense that she is testing me at every turn,” Felton admitted.
“Then she is a smart woman, indeed. You should be tested.”
Felton rolled his eyes. “I am a solid chap and there is no sense in the testing. Why can she not merely accept my advances and let me have her for the rest of my days?”
Jasper put up a soothing hand. “Now, now. Do you not think that you should be testing her too? What makes you assume that she is the perfect woman for you? If you ask me, I think that you make this assumption because she is proving to be rather difficult.”
Felton’s mouth dropped open as he considered these words. “That is very astute,” he went on. “Yes, maybe it is because she is so difficult, but I must admit that my ardency for her love feels true and undying.”
“Have you informed her of this?” Jasper asked.
“Of course not. I want her to feel the same for me before I admit to such a thing!”
Jasper could not help but laugh. “You find yourself in quite a predicament. I would hate to be in your position.” He clasped his hands behind his neck and leaned back in his chair.
All of a sudden, Felton had a curious look in his eyes. “Tell me, how is your predicament these days?”
It was obvious that he was referring to Catherine. Considering that he had admitted to his impending death, it seemed the right time to admit to his love. “My feelings for Catherine are no doubt akin to yours for Abigail. I very much wish that was not the case, for it puts me in a difficult position, indeed.”
“How so?”
Fire and brimstone, was Felton bereft of his wits? “I am dying, man! Catherine does not deserve that. She deserves a man that walks upon the earth and does not lie six feet beneath it.”
Felton paused and scratched his chin. “Then do not tell her. Woo her and let her know on your wedding day.”
Now, Jasper’s laugh was very hearty. “You truly are a piece of work. Only you would think of such a thing.”
“There are plenty of things that I would like to tell Abigail about myself, but these unsavoury matters can wait until she’s in my bedchamber after the wedding.”
“I am done with this conversation. You need a skilled doctor to amend your mind. Consider this, old chap. Abigail might be a difficult case, but perhaps you have a better chance if you are honest with her instead of deceitful. If you play her game, you shall lose. If you play no games at all, it might just be enough to compel the lady.”
“Very risky.” Felton anxiously ran a hand through his hair. “Very risky indeed. But I shall consider it if you think that it might work, for I feel entirely desperate at this juncture.”
Seeing how anxious Felton was, Jasper summoned a footman to bring the brandy. If they were to drink at this early hour, so be it. Jasper’s spirits were already lifted by Felton’s presence, and Catherine’s tinctures.
“Her medicine is working,” Jasper finally said once the brandy was poured.
“Is that so?” Felton took a hearty sip.
“Indeed. I feel as light as air.”
Felton suggested, “And that is not from hallucination, I trust.”
Jasper shook his head confidently. “Indeed, no. I felt a difference after trying the first tinctures, and now the medicinal tea has taken things a step further.”
Felton raised his glass. “Then perhaps you will not die, after all. That requires a toast!”
The two men clinked glasses and spent the better part of the afternoon discussing love, heartbreak, and alas, hunting. It was all rather upbeat and enjoyable, and to make matters even better, a letter arrived and was handed to Jasper. This letter was from Catherine.
“Open it, man. Why do you hesitate?” Felton asked, his cheeks already inflamed from the drink.
“While you are here? What an intrusion of privacy.”
Still, Jasper’s curiosity got the best of him, and he pulled open the seal and read.
Jasper,
I am writing to see if the tea has been beneficial. I certainly hope that it has been as I made it rather strong. I have been very busy in the forest since we shared our delightful picnic. There were many beautiful memories from that day, as well as the other instances that we encountered one another.
I hope that there shall be many more.
Catherine