Treating a Sinful Earl by Henrietta Harding
Chapter 18
Catherine felt jubilant as she walked through the woods, doing her customary foraging. Jasper had responded to her letter from the day before saying that he was feeling much better, and this only filled Catherine with more conviction! She knew that she could help him, and to hear confirmation of the fact was only spurring her on.
But alas, there were some difficult things on her mind too, as she continued to walk along. She could not banish the next two months from her mind. She had not the heart to attend another ball since the last of the Duke of Brighton’s parties. Her mind was completely focused on getting Jasper well. In so doing, she knew that she was using her precious time when she should be looking for a husband.
But bugger it all! Catherine found much more enjoyment from helping Jasper and learning new tricks that might help his health to improve even further. What if she could heal him completely? She had a feeling deep within her that it was possible, and she was beginning to think that it might be the greatest accomplishment of her life.
This little fantasy kept coming to mind as she walked through the forest. What if she did become a Bath apothecary one day? Oh, it would make her so joyous if that was possible. Her days would be spent doing what she loved. But yes, it would be beneficial if there was a man who could take the credit. It was a sad truth about society. Maybe if Jasper wanted to take on that position….
No, Catherine would clear her mind of all of that. Every time she thought of Jasper, she was filled with hope, but this hope turned into despair when she thought that maybe it was a dream and nothing more. Of course, she would not go so far as to assume that Jasper was using her for her talents. She saw that admiring look in his eyes well before he even knew of her skills.
Her affections for him were deepening at an alarming pace. And also, she knew that he was not being fully upfront about what it was that he faced physically. Why was he not fully honest with her? At least she sensed that he was not being honest, and this worried her greatly. But she would not pry into his affairs unless that was what he wanted. In the meantime, she would do the best that she could to help him…and to help herself.
The air of the forest was cool and serene, and Catherine stopped to close her eyes and breathe it all in. She had brought her own little picnic basket on this occasion, as the memory of sharing the picnic with Jasper had been so pleasant. She sincerely hoped that they might do so again. And just when she thought she could not stand longing for his presence for another moment, a figure appeared on the very same path where she walked.
She squinted her eyes, hoping to make out who the rather tall fellow might be, but deep down, she knew that it was Jasper, for rarely did one encounter a man so tall! A beaming smile appeared on her lips and Catherine slowly approached, for fear that if her feet did what they wished to do, she might break out into a run!
As she drew nearer, she saw that Jasper was smiling, as well. So, he was not an apparition in her imagination after all. Yet, it seemed as though he had just magically appeared.
“Where did you come from?” Catherine asked, her picnic basket in one hand and herb basket in the other.
“I wished to go for a walk in the forest, and I secretly hoped that I might find you,” he said affably.
“You are rather sneaky,” she replied in a playful manner. “I mentioned in my letter that I have been here often, and you came to follow me!”
“This is the truth. I cannot tell a lie.”
Once she was standing right in front of him, she looked up into his eyes and thought him as handsome as ever. She recalled the time when he had referred to her as beautiful. Yes, in his presence, she did feel beautiful, if only due to the way that he looked at her.
“I fear that the cook only packed this picnic basket for one. But you can have it, if you are famished,” she said, holding out the basket.
“I shall not take your repast. I have already dined.”
And from the way that he was looking at her, she assumed that he wished to feast upon her with his eyes! Oh, maybe the medicine was working because he did appear stronger and more upright than ever.
“Let us be seated,” Catherine said, motioning towards a fallen log. “I can admit that I have something of an appetite. I have been walking for most of the morning.”
“Then let us get you nourished,” he instructed, helping her to sit.
Once they were seated side by side, an overwhelming flush of nerves took hold as Catherine realized that she was seated beside the man that she could not banish from her mind! All at once, she feared that he could see right through her and might know that she was thinking about him all morning.
“Your health is improving,” Catherine observed.
“Indeed.” He nodded confidently. “Ever since the first tinctures, it has improved. And now, the tea is another improvement. You have an amazing gift, Catherine. I hope that you shall always hold onto it.”
“If my parents have any say about it, it will be a passing hobby. But…if my future husband allows me to do it….”
This statement seemed to make Jasper uneasy, for he replied, “Let us speak of other matters.”
Although she was unsure what had made him uncomfortable in that last statement, Catherine did not have the heart to inquire after it. “I have a mind to refuse my father’s request. Tell him that I shall not marry! All that I want to focus on healing those that I love.”
“That you love?” Jasper was quick to ask.
Catherine felt her heart beat wildly in her chest. “I mean…those around me who I care for. It has given me so much joy to help you, as it gave me joy when I helped my mother. If I can continue to do that, then I think I shall be a happy woman.”
Jasper smiled warmly. “You already are a happy woman. I can sense it. That is what draws me to you, amongst other things.”
Yes, there was something very different about this encounter than the others. Catherine could feel heat emanate through her body, and this was not from exertion. She felt an incredible pull towards Jasper, as well. She longed to reach out and take his hand or have him do the same. She longed to touch him in any capacity, in fact. She wondered what his skin felt like, and what the sensation would be if she ran her fingers through his hair.
Oh, what was she thinking! Her mind was playing tricks on her, and Catherine was determined to change the subject. “I suppose that I have always been something of a happy person. Since I was a little girl. But I hear that once you are out in society for long enough, this happiness dissipates. That is why I am so afraid of what Abigail compels me to do.”
Jasper turned pensive. “About Abigail…Felton is beside himself.”
“Oh, tell him to not relinquish hope! I know that she has admiration for him.”
“But anything more than admiration?” Jasper asked. “Yesterday, he sat in my study like a man who had come undone. His hair was a mess, his clothing askew, and I fear that he had not slept for days. He remarked that Abigail was toying with him.”
Here, Catherine had to be judicious with her words. She did not want Felton to have false hope, but she sincerely believed that he did have a chance, if only Abigail would open up a bit and stop playing her games.
“Sometimes, I feel bad for Abigail,” Catherine went on. “I do not know why she behaves in the manner that she does. But we are all different, I suppose. It is as though she is afraid of being in love, which I cannot imagine for myself.”
Jasper remarked, “Love can be fearful, though. Once your heart is broken, it is very difficult to bear it again.”
Catherine became intrigued by this, for she sensed something in Jasper just then. “Have you had your heart broken.”
He smiled nervously. “This is a difficult and ridiculous story to tell.”
“I love difficult and ridiculous stories!”
He paused, then continued with what he had to say. “I hate to admit to this, but I am referred to as something of a heartbreaker. I do not know why I gained this reputation because ladies make this claim when I have had very little interaction with them at all.” He went on, “There was a time in my youth when I had very strong affections for one young lady in particular. She was the daughter of a duke who was close friends with my late father. We would dine at their estate often, and on these occasions, I could not take my eyes off of her.”
Catherine felt a lump in her throat, for sometimes, it seemed as though Jasper could not take his eyes off of her.
Jasper continued, “Looking back on it, it was all rather silly, for she was a haughty sort of girl, and I do not think that she had any interest in me. All the same, my feelings persisted. I picked her a single red rose and brought it to her door, which was very forward of me, but I was a young man and did not know any better. I knocked upon the door, and a footman answered.”
Catherine could not help but interject. “I fear that this story is going to be painful, and I sit her anxiously listening.”
He nodded and smiled. “Your instincts have instructed you correctly. So, I knock upon the door, a footman opens it, and I ask to see the young lady of the house whilst I held the rose nervously, but still bounding with hope. I was led to the parlour, where she and her governess sat, and essentially confessed my undying love and handed her the rose.”
Catherine’s face fell open in shock. “What did she say?”
“There was a fearful look in her eyes, and she informed me that she was scheduled to be wed. I thought this rather curious, for I had not heard of the occurrence. I left her estate, still holding the rose in my hand.”
Catherine’s heart sank. “What a dreadful story, but it was no doubt arranged by her parents…the marriage.”
He had a sad and mischievous look in his eyes. “As it turned out, she was not scheduled to wed. She had merely said it because she did not find my advances pleasing.”
Catherine blinked several times, hating to see the pain in his eyes. “You still carry this heartbreak?”
Jasper laughed, then gazed up at the tall trees. “Oh, I rarely think of it. But when one’s heart is injured, it rarely goes away completely. I secretly believe that is why I have been so aloof with women.”
This seemed strange, for Jasper was anything but aloof with her.