Treating a Sinful Earl by Henrietta Harding
Chapter 19
Jasper had already made arrangements to walk with Catherine in the forest the following day. This was undertaken after they had lingered in the forest until the sun set. The day had been transfixing, and Jasper found himself glad that he had encountered her, for he hoped that it might become something of a ritual.
On this particular day, the sun shone gloriously in the sky, and Jasper looked to Catherine from time to time, admiring her profile and his good fortune that he had ever met her at all. Not only was his health improving, but his heart was opening in new and miraculous ways.
“My father suspects something,” Catherine said softly, as they walked along.
“What do you mean?” Jasper asked in curiosity.
She stopped and turned towards him. “He suspects that I am not in the forest alone. I forgot to mention that I escaped without my chaperone the previous day, and when he inquired after why I was home so late, the chaperone gave an exasperated expression for she was just as confused. I relayed to him that I had lost track of time. My chaperone, being the tight-lipped woman that she is, did not mention a thing, and even allowed me to escape today without her! Surely, my father will come to realize that something is afoot.”
Jasper delighted in his good fortune. Yes, he had been entirely alone with her the previous day, but he did not inquire after it, for he assumed that it was a mistake and would be amended. But Catherine had seemed to feel no shame in regard to this, and so, Jasper let it pass without asking. Now…he was entirely alone with her again.
“I hope that you do not find it shocking.”
“Not in the slightest!” Catherine shared. “I feel remarkably comfortable in your company. And although it is quite the scandal. I do not think that anyone has to know. This can be our little secret. Although, I hate carrying secrets.”
No, Catherine did not seem like the type that held many secrets, and this was comforting, for he knew that many in society had their unmentionable bits of character. But Catherine was different. She wore her heart on her sleeve and had nothing to hide. If only Jasper could say the same, for he had still not told her about the gravity of his ailment.
“Then let us delight in this time,” Jasper said, continuing their stroll. “No one shall ever know, and I am confident that you are safe in my company, as well. What’s more, I believe that it is easier to get to know one another when we spend time in this way.”
Catherine smiled broadly. “That is just it! It is so dreadful when one knows that they must be watched at all times. Now, it is as though I can fully be myself, and I have so many more shrubs to show you.”
This caused Jasper to laugh. “You have already shown me so much. Now, I am merely intent upon seeing more of you.”
Catherine blushed after this remark, and Jasper found it appealing. In fact, every time that her cheeks coloured, Jasper felt like the man that he always wished to be. There were many more things that he wished to do to make her blush, but these things would have to be pushed to the recesses of his brain.
They finally seated themselves upon a little plot of grass that was shady from the overhead trees. It was comforting; the cool breeze passing through, the sound of birdsong, the rush of a nearby stream. In his memory, Jasper painted this picture so that he could remember it always.
“Tell me, how is Felton getting on?” Catherine asked.
“I fear that he has not improved. He continues to pursue Abigail, and Abigail plays aloof. He said that he discovered her in a cafe yesterday and she was seated with a gentleman.”
“That is impossible!” Catherine protested. “There is no way that could be. Surely, her chaperone was with her at the very least.”
“So she was, but this did nothing to cool Felton’s discontent. He insisted that I go to the public house with him last night so that he might drown his sorrows.”
Catherine brought her hand over her mouth. “I hope that he does not self-destruct! At least, not for Abigail’s sake. Oh, I wish that she was kinder and more affable. Why is it that she carries on the way that she does? Sometimes I think that I should be the one instructing her and not she instructing me!”
This brought up an important question. “Speaking of which, has she compelled you to attend another ball any time soon?”
A wry smile came to her lips. “She wishes to go to a ball this Saturday. I told her that I was busy making tinctures.”
“But does this not violate your own desire to improve?” Jasper said this, knowing full well that he did not wish for her to attend the Saturday ball, nor did he wish for her to find a husband that was not himself.
“Part of me wishes to defy my father in this regard. I am having such a marvellous time focusing on my medicine and that alone. Perhaps, if I merely tell him that I refuse to marry and he can leave Bath without me if he chooses, then he shall do so!”
Jasper felt his heart sink. No, her father would never leave her alone in Bath. Nor would he leave her in Jasper’s company if he did not marry her. Oh, but what was he thinking! His ardency had grown to such an extent that now, all he could think of was marriage. Also, the way that Catherine’s hair glimmered in the sunlight and how her shocking green eyes seemed to puncture his soul at every turn.
“Catherine, I think that it is important to do what makes you happy, but also what is feasible. It would not make sense to set your hopes on something that cannot be accomplished.”
Her face fell and her eyelashes fluttered. Jasper felt bad for saying it but what else was he to do? He did not wish to see Catherine hurt.
“Is there a better chance of me becoming an apothecary in London? I know that they are much more forward in their ways there, so perhaps…if I found a husband that accepted what I wanted to do.”
“But alas, I wish that husband could be me.”
Silence overtook them and time stood still. The words had escaped Jasper’s lips before he had a chance to consider them, and now, he was left with anticipation in hearing what Catherine would reply to this.
“Did I hear you correctly?” Catherine asked.
Jasper nodded plainly. “Indeed, you have. Catherine, I must be honest with you. I have…strong affections for you. And although I would take you as a wife to help you escape from all of this, along with selfish reasons of my own, I fear that it is unfeasible.”
“Why is it unfeasible?” she asked, expectation in her eyes.
“I…do not know if I can say.”
Oh, Jasper’s head was spinning. It seemed like he had made some kind of mistake, for there was a mixture of sadness and hope in Catherine’s eyes. Then, she shook her head indignantly. “No, no. It matters not. Jasper, I am sure that you would make a fine husband, but for the time being, all that I can focus on is making you well. I admit that…I have affection for you as well, but that does not mean that we must act upon these impulses, for we must keep our heads straight!”
Although he hated the notion of not acting on impulses when it came to Catherine, she had a sound point. This brought a delighted smile to his lips. “Here again, something that I admire about you.”
“What is that?” she asked.
“You are an intelligent woman. Intelligent as you are beautiful. It is captivating and like nothing that I have ever witnessed before.”
Every impulse in his body wished to reach out to her, to take her into his arms, tell her the truth, and impart to her that everything was going to be alright. But to do so would be an impossible scandal, and what’s more, he did not know if that was the truth. What if he was not to make a full recovery and everything would transpire as the doctors suggested?
This was a thought too painful for words and Jasper banished it with a flick of his hand. “I am sorry. I do not know why I am speaking so plainly right now. Perhaps it is some effect of the medicine,” he said humorously.
“I hope that it is not,” she said softly, gazing into his eyes.
Their eyes held one another’s for some time, and from her expression, Jasper noted that it was time to be as bold as he had wanted to mere moments before. He leaned in perilously close, placing his finger below her chin. “I must warn you, I should like to kiss you Catherine, but I do not wish to do so if it will deplete your honour in some way.”
Her mouth dropped open, excitement in her eyes. “We mustn’t,” she protested.
“Very well,” Jasper said, leaning back and straightening himself. He would never do anything that Catherine was not comfortable with.
“Oh, but let us undertake it anyhow.” Now, she was the one to lean in quickly, pressing her lips against his and Jasper moaned in enjoyment. He placed a hand on the side of her face, willing her to move her entire self closer to him. But the kiss was sweet and light, and Jasper wished to keep it this way, knowing that if he truly unleashed himself, there was no telling what he might do.
He did not know how long it lasted, for he sensed himself in a dream and never wished to wake up. Finally, Catherine was the one to pull away, her eyes still closed from the kiss. Jasper was the first to speak. “Are you alright?”
“Need you ask such a question?” Catherine asked, bringing a hand up to her flushed cheek. “I have never kissed a man before.”
He said affably, “I hope that you enjoyed it.”
Her response was whispered. “Immeasurably.”
All at once, Jasper was filled with happiness. Surely, she had not enjoyed the kiss nearly as much as he had. In fact, Jasper had kissed some ladies in his day, and this by far had been the most intoxicating and enjoyable. There were no ways to express that with words and so Jasper leaned in again, this time, taking her by the waist to pull her towards him.
Now, the real heat that he craved bubbled to the surface, and Jasper feared for what he might do next. Still, he held onto her tight and delighted in her sweet lips, which were warm and soft against his own. Finally, he was the one to pull away, chest heaving. “Now, we must conclude this business for fear that I might lose my wits.”
She nodded, not at first answering with words. “That is a suitable suggestion for I feel faint.”
Concern washed over him, and he asked, “What can I do?”
“I fear that I need to lie down for but a moment.”
Jasper guided her down, and there she lay like a wood nymph, gazing up at the trees. She closed her eyes and, Jasper had a chance to view all of her in that state of repose. He watched her chest rise and fall gently, and he placed a soft hand upon her shoulder.
“Lie there as long as you need. I am taking some enjoyment out of it,” he said humorously.
A little smile came to her lips. “As am I.”