Treating a Sinful Earl by Henrietta Harding
Chapter 30
Jasper managed to carry the tea tray effortlessly to the study. When he opened the door…Catherine was not there. This was not alarming at first. He had been gone a trifle long and wondered if she was in search of him. Setting the tea tray down, he called out her name, and receiving no reply, he exited the study and began to examine his manor. Everything was quiet, except for the occasional footfall of servants.
It was in the parlour that Jasper froze, a wave of fear taking hold. He looked at the sofa where he and Catherine had shared some of their most intimate moments. This made his heart break even more. Had she fled? Then, a sinking suspicion took hold, and Jasper ran to the study. He went directly to his desk, and there, unfolded, was the horrible news that the doctor had shared.
Jasper picked up the paper in his hand and instantly crushed it, throwing it into a waste bin and placing his hands on his hips, downcast all the while in frustration. Yes, the letter was what drove Catherine away. Why ever was he so stupid as to have left it there? He combed his hand through his hair as he tried to think. What the devil should he do next? He could write her a letter to be sent immediately, he could simply wait till the next day, or he could find her this very minute.
Rushing to the front door, Jasper chose the latter, exiting into the roundabout and considering whether to travel to her on foot. This would take far too much time, so Jasper ran to the stables, where the stableboy had already retired for the day. There was no time to place a saddle on his horse, and so he merely took the animal from its stall and hopped right on, giving little care to the fact that he was still wearing his fine suit for supper.
As he raced along, Jasper felt sick, and tears threatened to come to the surface. What was to be a sumptuous night alone with Catherine had turned into an utter disaster. Why had he summoned the doctor as Felton told him to do? If he had not done so, this mess would never have happened. There was no need to know the truth, for the truth was too grim. He could have married Catherine and experienced bliss for the next six months of his life…the last six months of his life.
All of these thoughts and so many more plagued his mind as he rode along through the cool night air, the light from the moon beaming down upon him. It was not long before he reached Catherine’s abode. He knew which window was hers, and as he jumped off of his horse, he saw her back turned towards him. Jasper wanted nothing more in the world than to call out to her. But from where he stood, he could tell that Catherine was in tears.
Should he knock at the door and demand an audience? For surely, the pressing need to speak with her was so overwhelming that Jasper could not hold himself back. He rushed to the door, knocked upon it, and a footman appeared.
“I must speak with Lady Trowbridge.”
His eyes went wide with shock. “At this hour?” the footman asked.
“Yes, at this very hour.”
“One moment. You may wait in the parlour.”
Jasper was escorted to the parlour and did not have the patience to sit, so he paced about. Before the footman exited the room, he turned and said, “I beg your pardon. I did not ask for your name.”
“The Earl of Simmons,” Jasper replied anxiously.
The footman bowed his head. “One moment, my lord.”
Jasper was left in the silence, wondering what Catherine’s parents might think of this late call. In the end, it mattered not. If her father were to enter the parlour, Jasper would take the opportunity to ask for Catherine’s hand. He was going to undertake it anyhow, and now the situation was more desperate than ever.
As he continued to pace, he wondered what was taking so long. He needed to speak with Catherine this very moment! To his great surprise, the next person to enter the room was Selina, quite without a chaperone.
“My lord,” Selina said, her eyes weary.
“Where is Catherine?” he asked, no time for pleasantries.
She said faintly, “Catherine does not wish to come down. She is distressed, and I can understand why.”
“But I must speak with her.”
Selina seated herself and folded her hands neatly into her lap. “I am afraid that that will not be possible. Will you be seated, my lord?”
It was clear that she wished to have a serious conversation with him, but for Jasper, there was nothing in the world that he wanted less. All that he wanted was to be in the presence of his future wife. Still, he did as Selina instructed and seated himself, looking at her intently and waiting for her to explain.
“This is foolish,” he said in frustration.
“What is foolish was not telling Catherine the truth, my lord.”
Jasper grit his teeth. “I did tell her the truth. She knows of my illness, and I wish to marry her all the same. And she wishes to marry me.”
Selina sighed in exasperation. “This latest news has broken Catherine’s trust. Did you know all along that the illness was so dire, and chose to spend the rest of your days in lustful enterprises?”
Jasper thought this suggestion preposterous. “What on earth are you implying? I have told Catherine that marriage is all that I intend.”
“And how is she supposed to know that is the truth? How is she supposed to blindly trust what your intentions are?”
“Because I love her,” Jasper replied in no uncertain terms.
Selina had the gall to roll her eyes. “My lord, I implore you to be careful. She knows of your reputation. I have told her countless times, and still, she does not wish to believe me. Of course, I know not whether these rumours are true, but a lady of Catherine’s standing must protect herself. And being her dear friend, I must protect her, as well.”
Jasper fell into silence. What kind of ridiculous nonsense was she saying? Yes, he was aware of the bloody rumours, and they were all false. Catherine was the only woman that he ever loved, and he would do nothing to sully her honour…although it took a lion’s strength to not do so. He had done everything right in her regard, and now that this new information came from the doctor, everything was falling apart.
“Please understand,” Jasper finally said, “when Catherine marries me, I am bound to leave her for the next life, but everything that I possess shall be hers. She can open the apothecary shop with no troubles, being a widow. What I wish to give her is freedom in exchange for her love in the brief days that I have left. Surely, none of this aligns with the rumours that you so desperately hold onto. I am begging for you to plead my case to her. Although I am dying, my love for her shall never die.”
Selina fell into silence now, and within this silence, he hoped that she was considering his plea. She exhaled weightily and stood, clasping her hands in front of her. “I will tell her what you conveyed but know that she is in a very fragile state, and it might all be for nought.”
From the look in Selina’s eyes, Jasper sensed that he could not trust her one jot. The lady that stood before him was duplicitous, and there was a good chance that his words would get turned around and used against him.
“I do not trust you as far as I could throw you,” Jasper said bitingly, getting up from his seat and standing to his full height. He could tell that this new posture intimidated her, for Selina stepped back with eyes wide. “Tell her exactly what I have told you, and if you do not, I shall hear of it.”
He fled the parlour without another word, leaving a stunned Selina in his wake. If he frightened her, so be it. He hoped to instil fear in her so that she might tell Catherine the truth.
Exiting the home, Jasper returned to his horse and looked up at Catherine’s window once more. There she stood, her arms wrapped around herself as she looked out, pain and sadness in her gaze. His heart was breaking upon seeing this, for he did not wish to bring Catherine any pain. But he supposed it was inevitable. At this stage in the game, it seemed as though love was inextricably tied with pain, and there was no way around it.
She slowly stepped away from the window, and he felt his heart break yet again. Was the situation entirely lost? He closed his eyes in dread and willed himself to breathe. After standing there for several moments, Jasper mustered the strength to get back atop his horse and rode away, dreading returning to his home alone. Once he was there, he was surprised to discover his mother seated in the parlour.
“Felton told me to return, and so I did.”
“So, you are conspiring behind my back?” Jasper asked, placing his hands upon his hips.
“The matter is more grave than ever before. This is horrible news, my son.”
“Horrible news upon horrible news. I shall still marry Catherine Trowbridge.”
“If she will have you.” The Dowager Countess took a sip of tea. “Why would a girl want to marry a man that does not have time on his side?”
“Because I will provide her with everything that she needs for a lifetime,” Jasper assured her. “That is my one last wish on this earth.”
“Are you sure that your intentions are not sordid, Jasper?”
He could not believe that now his own mother was taking the same line of questioning as Selina took. “There is nothing sordid about loving someone and wishing to provide for them. There is also nothing sordid about longing for someone. These are all gifts that God provides.”
“Listen to you speaking of God. How can you believe in a benevolent God, considering what has plagued you? No, I do understand what you convey, but I must say that I find all of this rather surprising. You need to rest. What you do not need is to be chasing after someone in your final days. You must rest!”
“I shall rest when I am dead,” Jasper said through his teeth, exiting the parlour and making his way to the study.
What was most vexing was the notion that Felton got a hold of the doctor’s letter and informed his mother with haste. Why could the two of them not let him be? Why did everyone seek to control him when he had so little time left? He seated himself at his desk in frustration, turning to the rubbish bin where the doctor’s crumbled letter still remained. It was a plague, over and over again.
From now on, there would be no more doctors. Jasper was done with it. If he was to die, then he would allow nature to take its course. But nature still needed to take its course in his body and heart. By that, he meant that he would still make Catherine his. Even though ill, he was a man with hot blood running through his veins, and this could not be ignored or denied. Catherine must be his, whether his mother, Selina, or Felton liked it or no. In fact, whether or not society liked it or no.
He leaned back in his chair and stared out the window. Jasper would come up with a plan.