Alpha Gray by C.J. Primer

CHAPTER      FORTY-SEVEN

Fallon

I feel like shit. I’ve been bottling everything up since Saturday night- I haven’t even gone to Brooke to talk things over. I don’t know why… maybe I’m embarrassed? I feel like a fool for getting involved with Gray. Hannah’s words still haunt me. As I jog onto the practice field on Monday morning, all of my muscles are achy, like the pain I’ve tried to bury deep in my soul is physically manifesting in my body.

Then I see Gray standing out there with the other alphas and the sight of him cuts like a dagger straight to the heart. Even in his workout attire- gym shorts and a cutoff t-shirt- he’s an Adonis. His magnetic eyes immediately find mine.

I dart my gaze away quickly, staring at the back of Davis’ neck instead as I follow him to the center of the practice field and take a spot beside him. I’m now close enough that I can smell Gray, my wolf stirring in response, but I can’t bring myself to look at him- it hurts too much.

“No whiteboard today,” Davis comments quietly, shooting me a sideways glance.

I give him a wry smile. “Maybe we all just made it?”

He chuckles, shaking his head and returning his attention to the alphas. They’ve yet to speak, but their very presence commands attention.

“Good morning, recruits,” Gray barks in his usual greeting.

I keep my eyes trained on the ground as my wolf whines at the sound of his velvety voice.

“You’ve all made it to the final week of training camp. Well done.”

One of the recruits lets out a little “Woo!”, and we all chuckle to ourselves while Gray waits for us to quiet down before continuing.

“From here on out, there will be no more rankings,” he says, and I glance up to see him folding his chiseled arms across his chest. I dart my gaze away again. “We want you each to perform every day like you’re holding that top spot and fighting to stay there. You’ll be put through a series of trials all week and on Saturday we’ll decide who makes the cut.”

We all nod, mumbling in affirmation.

“Go ahead and get in a few warmup laps,” Reid adds. “Then we’ll start with some sparring, you can choose your own partners.”

I look around wildly, my eyes quickly finding Shay’s in the crowd of recruits. The two of us are pretty evenly matched and we’ve been paired before- and since we’ve been practicing together in the evenings, we’re each familiar with the other’s fighting style. That’ll totally give us an edge because we can work together to showcase one another’s best skills.

Shay gives me a little nod of her head, confirming that she’s on the same page. Then we all break away, jogging toward the track to start our laps. I totally zone out while I run, giving my mind a much-needed reprieve from my constant circular thoughts- but when I square up against Shay afterwards, ready to spar, they all come flooding back.

I can’t focus, can’t land a punch or kick worth a damn. I feel like Shay’s taking it easy on me, but I look like a goddamn amateur out here today. The practice field is usually where I’m most comfortable, but today I feel completely out of my element, totally out of control. My head’s a mess.

“What’s going on with you today?” Shay finally asks through clenched teeth after she’s taken me down to the ground again. She pops back up, offering me a hand.

I grasp onto Shay’s arm, rising to my feet and brushing off my shorts. “I don’t know, I’m just off,” I mutter. It’s a fucking lie- I know exactly what’s going on, I can’t get out of my own damn head.

“Fallon.”

My heart skips a beat as I hear Gray’s voice say my name, my breath catching in my throat as I whip around to see him approaching. I open my mouth to acknowledge him, but no sound comes out.

“You’re ducking too early on that takedown,” he says, stepping up beside me. “You’ve gotta take a beat, wait for the advance.”

I fold my arms, risking a sideways glance at Gray. Fuck, his piercing gaze could take me to my knees.

“Yeah,” I breathe, darting my eyes away. “I know.”

I can feel Gray’s gaze linger on me as I stare down at the dirt.

“Just trying to help,” he says quietly, and damnit if I don’t feel a pang of guilt for being so short with him. “Make sure you’re squaring your hips when you go for that three-two jab.”

Gray sidesteps behind me, wrapping the fingers of one hand around my left hip and sliding his others along the small of my back to rest on my right, giving my hips a little jerk to demonstrate. “Like this.”

His touch is electric, sending a jolt of current through me. It feels good, but I shrink away from him, jumping forward.

“Got it. Thanks,” I mumble. I glance back at Gray over my shoulder and I swear he looks wounded.

“Yeah, alright,” he sighs, stabbing his fingers through his hair. “Carry on.”

Though he turns and strides a few paces away, I can still feel him watching me. Shay crouches down, signaling that she’s ready for me to advance, and when I launch myself toward her again I make the same stupid mistakes, the same clumsy blunders. I’m back on my ass in the dirt in three seconds flat.

Gray

By Monday’s afternoon session, I know something’s really off with Fallon. I haven’t ever seen her perform this poorly in daily exercises- it’s like she’s forgotten everything she’s learned over the past five weeks. Her careless mistakes keep getting her injured, too, which agitates my wolf to no end. He’s been rattling my cage for hours, his urge to help her, soothe her, overriding all common sense.

Whatever’s going on with her, I have a bad feeling that it has something to do with me because she freezes up whenever I get close. So, I’ve been trying to maintain my distance, watch her from afar while my wolf howls in discontentment.

By the time Brock calls for the afternoon session to end, my anxiety is in overdrive. I immediately make my way over to where Fallon’s sitting in the dirt after being knocked on her ass for the hundredth time today. Her eyes fly wide as I crouch down next to her, reaching for her wrist. She sprained it pretty badly this afternoon, so I’ll use that as my cover for getting up in her space.

“How’s the wrist?” I ask, taking it in one hand and trailing my fingertips along the curve of the bone. I can feel the heat of sparks along her skin at my contact.

“Fine,” Fallon grumbles. She looks up at me, her eyes so wide, so blue.

“Can we talk?”

She doesn’t say anything for a moment, just glances around nervously.

“Where?” she hisses.

I look around, too. The practice field is still filled with people and the complex is crawling with even more.

“The forest?” I suggest.

Fallon just gives a little nod, pulling her wrist out of my grasp.

“I’ll find you,” I whisper as I straighten, rising back up to my feet.

I head over to join the other alphas while the recruits make their way off the field and into the barracks to hit the showers and grab dinner. I keep one eye on Fallon, watching as she hangs back, then heads toward the gate.

Jax picks up on her departure, too, following my gaze.

“Where’s she goin’?” he asks as Fallon strides past the gate, into the forest.

I dart him a warning glance, but my expression must give me away. A grin creeps across Jax’s face.

“Ahh, I get it,” he chuckles. “Go on, loverboy.”

I deliver a playful jab to his arm, a little harder than I intend to.

“Aren’t we going to debrief?” Brock asks, furrowing his brow. All business.

I heave a sigh, scrubbing a hand over my face. “Later?”

Brock doesn’t look pleased, but he nods.

I jog away from the other guys, rolling my eyes when I hear Theo making a whip cracking noise. Of all people, that guy doesn’t have a clue what it’s like to catch feelings for a female. He’s a notorious womanizer, smooth talking she-wolves into his bed and racking up one-night stands. There’s no way he could understand what I’m going through right now.

After I pass beyond the gate, I follow Fallon’s scent into the forest. She hasn’t made it far- she’s resting on a tree stump on the edge of the clearing where I found her practicing with Boyd last week. A twig snaps under my foot as I approach and Fallon springs to her feet, staring in my direction.

She doesn’t look like herself. The Fallon I know is fierce, formidable… but the girl standing in front of me looks like a spooked rabbit, her eyes wide, her shoulders tense.

I had every intention of getting right up in her space when I found her, kissing her senseless, but seeing her like this gives me pause. Did I do something wrong? The uncertainty is driving me mad.

“Hey baby,” I murmur, skidding to a stop front of her. I can’t help myself- I have to reach out, have to touch her. I scoop her face into my hands, tilting her head up to look at me. “What’s going on?”

Fallon shakes her head, my hands slipping from her face as she takes a step backwards. “Nothing. I’m just having an off day,” she grumbles.

I stare down at her, but she won’t look at me. “Did I do something wrong?” I finally ask.

She shakes her head again, but as I take a step toward her, she folds her arms over her chest protectively.

“Baby…” I breathe, sliding a finger under her chin and tipping her head up. “Talk to me.”

The look in her eyes confirms that something is definitely wrong. They’re glassy, like she’s fighting back tears- the look in her eyes fucking breaks me.

She must sense it, because she turns away, whipping around and putting her back to me. “Why don’t you save us both some trouble and stop pretending like you care,” Fallon mutters.

“What are you talking about?” I demand, spinning her back around to face me. She fights me as I do, pushing at my chest.

“That’s what you do, right? Hook up with girls, then toss them after the full moon?” Fallon narrows her eyes, venom in her tone.

I shake my head in disbelief, my eyes thrown wide. This was the last thing I expected. “What? No! Where did you get that?”

Fallon tries to push me away again, but I keep a hold on her shoulders. I’m not letting her go until she explains herself and I can fix this somehow.

“I had to hear it from Hannah, Gray,” she rasps. “Do you know how humiliating that is? To hear from her that I’m just another in a long line of girls to fall for your tricks.”

My temper flares at her accusation.

“Hannah? Are you fucking kidding me? Why would you believe a word she says?”

I scowl, dropping my hands from Fallon’s shoulders.

She looks a little bit surprised at my reaction, taken aback at how I raised my voice.

“Why would she lie about that?” Fallon asks, shaking her head in disbelief.

I heave a sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger and pressing my eyes closed. “I don’t know, Fallon. Probably because she wants to be Luna like every other unmated female in the pack.”

I take a breath, then force my eyes open, staring down at Fallon again. “She’s Holly’s cousin, and Holly tried to push us together when Hannah turned eighteen. But I swear to you I’ve never been interested in her, and the moon’s confirmed we aren’t mates.”

“Hannah is Holly’s cousin?” Fallon asks, scrunching her nose.

Is that really all she picked up from my explanation?

I blow out a breath. “Yeah. The green eyes, the curly hair… you didn’t know that?”

She shakes her head.

My mind is absolutely spinning. How did this go off the rails so fast? How can I make this better? I have to make this better.

“Fallon, Baby,” I say, grabbing her face in my hands again and staring down into her wide blue eyes. “Whatever she told you, it’s a lie. Fuck, after everything, don’t you trust me?”

Trust is a fickle thing, but from the way her expression softens, the way she drags one of her hands up to rest on the back of mine, it seems like she does.

I swallow hard, my throat gravelly. “I’m fucking crazy about you, Fallon. Can’t you see that?”

Perhaps for the first time, it’s Fallon who throws her arms around my neck, rising up on her toes and pressing her lips to mine. I’m so surprised that I almost tip backwards, but I catch myself and wrap an arm around her waist instead, pulling her body into mine roughly as I twine my tongue with hers.

I slide my other hand back from Fallon’s face to tangle in her hair, devouring her kiss like a starving man. As always when I’m around her, my dick’s already standing at attention, pressing into her thigh as I continue my relentless assault on her mouth.

Fallon moans a little, pulling back, sliding her palms down to my chest and steadying herself as she blinks up at me.

“But what about the moon?” Her voice comes out quiet, barely a whisper.

I shake my head. “I don’t care about that,” I growl. “I mean, I hope you’ll stay, but I don’t need the moon, or fate, or anyone else to tell me what I want.”

Fallon bites her lip, nodding. “Okay.”

“So you’ll stay?”

“Yeah. Maybe. I don’t know.”

The corner of my mouth tips up into an amused smile. “So you’ll think about it?”

“Yeah,” she breathes, and as soon as the word leaves her lips mine are on them again, bruising them with my kiss, savoring her mouth as my tongue dances with hers and her body melts into mine.

I want to have her right here, right now, but with everything that’s happened I know we should probably take a beat. Reluctantly, I pull back from the kiss, cupping her face in a hand and running the pad of my thumb along her bottom lip.

“So are we good?” I ask tentatively.

Her cheeks flush. “Yeah.”

Fallon takes my hand, lifting it off of her face and holding it in hers for a moment, pressing a kiss to my palm. “I’ve gotta get back,” she sighs. “The longer I’m missing, the more questions my friends will have.”

I wrap my arms around her body again, pulling her in tightly. I’m so fucking relieved that we’ve cleared the air. I manned up and told her how I feel, and it seems like we’re on the same page again. And she’s considering staying for the full moon, so mission accomplished, I think?

I drop a kiss on the top of Fallon’s head. It doesn’t feel weird or unnatural this time, it just feels right.

After a moment, she pushes at my chest, wriggling away from me again. She has a wicked little smirk on her lips, a devilish twinkle in her eye as she takes a step backwards. Looks like her fire’s back.

“Get back to the complex, recruit,” I grumble, grinning.

She brings two fingers to her forehead in a cheeky little salute, spinning around and hopping out of the way before I can slap her ass. She starts jogging back to the gate, leaving me standing there to eat my heart out as I watch her go.