Becoming by Jourdyn Kelly

CASS LEANED BACKcarefully on the ladder to check her work. Ever since Rebecca told her Eve Sumptor-Riley was willing to look at her paintings, Cass had become more critical. Anyone who’s anyone in the art industry knew Sumptor Galleries and the prestige they offered. Cass thought of herself as a street artist more than anything else. She painted murals around the city for store owners or city officials. She didn’t think she was good enough to be in one of the most renowned galleries. But Rebecca believed in her and that was enough for Cass.

She had been trying to work on a few canvases for Eve’s next visit, and she was a bit stressed out about it. But, of course, Cass could never say that to Rebecca. She would make Rebecca proud, however, right now she had a mural to finish. And, unless she wanted to keep making every female she painted to look like Rebecca, she needed to stay focused.

Cass chuckled at herself. It’d been a solid three weeks since she and Rebecca got together. The longest relationship she had ever been in. Cass had no clue how long that “honeymoon stage” lasted, but she was definitely still in it. And, if Rebecca’s actions were anything to go by, she was still in it, too. In fact, just that morning…

“Hey!”

“Shit!” Cass dropped her paintbrush and gripped the ladder for dear life. She peered down with a frown and began climbing down. “You scared the hell out of me. What are you doing here?”

Miranda pushed a strand of red hair out of her face. “Nice way to talk to your best friend.”

“Sorry. You startled me.” Cass stooped to pick up her paintbrush. She grumbled at the dirt that now coated the paint covered bristles and tossed it aside. Taking a rag out of her back pocket, she wiped her hands as she glanced at Miranda. “How did you know where I was?”

Miranda put her hands on her hips. “It’s not hard to find someone painting a huge mural.”

“Fair enough. What’s up?”

“I came to take you to lunch.”

“Oh, um, that’s nice, but I already ate.” Cass gestured to her lunchbox. Rebecca had surprised her by making her an awesome roast beef sandwich, some of her favorite chips, and even a pickle. Best. Lunch. Ever.

“Oh, come on, Cass.”

Cass frowned. “Sorry, but it’s,” she checked her watch, “quarter after one and I was hungry. I had no idea you’d be here.”

“What’s going on with you? You’ve been avoiding me for weeks.”

“No, I haven’t.” At least, she didn’t think she was. Though, if she were being honest with herself, Cass hadn’t thought about Rand—or anything else—in the past three weeks. Her mind, body, and soul have been preoccupied with the beautiful woman that she was falling deeply in love with. Maybe that made her selfish, but what could she say? “We talked a few weeks ago. Besides, you’re a newlywed. I was respecting your time with Connor. And, the phone works both ways, Rand. You haven’t exactly contacted me, either.”

Miranda snorted. “Respecting my time with Connor. Since when? And, anyway, I thought you were upset, so I waited for you to make the first move.”

“That’s not fair, Rand. I’ve always been supportive and respectful. The one who hasn’t is Connor. He never liked that you have a lesbian friend.”

“That’s not true.”

Cass resisted rolling her eyes. Rand had a bad habit of seeing things the way she wanted to see them. Rose colored glasses. There was nothing Cass could say or do to change her mind, so she didn’t even try. “What was I supposed to be upset about?” she asked, steering the conversation back on track.

“I don’t know. You’ve been different ever since my bachelorette party. I know you don’t agree with what I did that night…”

Cass held up a hand, cutting Miranda off. “I’m not upset about that. It’s your life, Rand.” She was right about one thing. Cass had been changed that night. But not for the reasons Miranda thought.

“Okay, fine. You’re not upset. So, let’s go out then. We can go clubbing. It feels like ages since we’ve done that. We can dance and get stupid drunk. It’ll be like old times. Maybe I can even crash at your place since Connor doesn’t really like it when I drink that much.” Miranda punched Cass lightly on the arm. “What do you say?”

Cass studied Miranda. There must be trouble in paradise if she was proposing to stay over at Cass’s place. The only reason she would do that is to piss Connor off. According to Rand’s social media, she’d been out plenty of times with her straight friends. It ticked her off a bit to know she was probably being used. “I can’t. I don’t do that anymore.”

Miranda laughed. “What do you mean you don’t do that anymore? Don’t tell me you met someone.”

Why is that funny? “I did, actually. But…”

“So, I should wait a week and then you’ll be ready for something new?” Miranda joked.

Ouch.As much as it hurt to hear Rand say something like that, Cass couldn’t exactly dispute it. “Rand, I’ve told you before that I was fed up with all that. Even before this relationship. Which, for your information, has been going strong for three weeks now.”

“Wow, three weeks. You’re usually bored after one.”

“Are you going for some kind of record for insulting your ‘best friend’?” Cass asked dryly.

“I’m kidding! Damn, girl, you used to be able to take a joke. Even though I’m totally right.”

“I didn’t get bored, Rand.” This time she did roll her eyes when Miranda just stared at her. “Fine. If I did, it was because I was picking the wrong woman. I’ve found the right one, now.”

“Right one as in right one? Why am I just hearing about this now?”

Cass shrugged. “Honestly, I haven’t really told anyone.” She knew Rebecca had told her aunt about them, but she was pretty sure that was because her aunt is also her therapist. If she didn’t understand that Rebecca still had a tiny issue with their age gap, Cass would have been bothered by that. Then again, neither of them had suggested introducing each other to the important people in their lives. Maybe that was something to be worried about.

“Cass?” Miranda waved her hand in front of Cass’s face. “Are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Ashamed of her.”

It sounded as though Miranda wanted to add a “duh” at the end of that sentence. “No! God, no. She’s the most incredible woman I’ve ever known. I’m proud to be with her.”

“Well, something has to be wrong with her if you’re not telling me about her. Do your parents even know?”

“Not yet. And there is nothing wrong with Rebecca. We’ve just been wrapped up in each other.” Literally. Cass hated that Rand was making her feel insecure. Was Rebecca ashamed of her? “Listen, I’m sorry we couldn’t do lunch today. But, what do you say we get together sometime next week? The four of us.”

“If you’re not bored by then?” Miranda laughed but stopped when Cass didn’t join in. “You really are serious about this one.”

“Yeah, I am. So, could you lay off the bored shit, please?”

“Are you in love with her?”

Cass shrugged. She hadn’t said the actual words to Rebecca, yet. With a girlfriend who had run away before, a little patience was needed. Even if Cass didn’t feel so patient. The positive was, Rebecca didn’t seem to mind spending almost every night together. That was a good sign.

Miranda pursed her lips. She didn’t look terribly happy. Then again, Cass’s best friend was the type of person that needed to know everything the minute it happened. If she didn’t, she felt left out.

“Fine. Lunch would be good. I’ll run it by Connor.” She backed away. “I apologize for teasing you, okay? I just never thought I’d see the day Cass Giles settled down. Can’t wait to meet her. She must really be something. I’ll, uh, text you later for details on lunch.”

With that, Miranda was gone as hastily as she said those words.

Cass shook her head. Rand always loved drama while Cass hated it. She preferred to take a more laid-back approach to life. Though that didn’t work when you had a deadline. Which she did with the mural. Cass Giles did what she did best. She cleared her mind and painted.

“HEY, BABE?” CASScalled out.

“In here!” Rebecca called back from her home office. She chuckled as Cass walked in holding Rebecca’s ringing phone with two fingers. “You’re carrying that thing like it’s a viper.”

“Yeah, um, not to sound obvious here, but someone named Hunter is calling you. I didn’t mean to look at it, I swear. I thought it was mine.”

Rebecca stood, took the phone from Cass, and hit the answer button. “Hang on, Hunter.” She put her cell on her desk and wrapped her arms around Cass’s neck. “I don’t care if you look at my phone, baby. I have nothing to hide from you.”

“I didn’t want you to think I was snooping.” Cass sighed. “And, I certainly don’t want to be jealous of whoever’s calling you.” It wasn’t Eve Sumptor-Riley or Rebecca’s Aunt Wills. Business calls came through on a business-specific phone registered under the club’s name. Hunter was not a name that had been brought up before, and that scared Cass. It was stupid, of course. Surely, Rebecca had tons of friends that would pop up here and there.

“You shouldn’t be. Hunter is an old friend, Cassidy. Nothing more.”

“Ever?”

“Are you going to ask that of everyone you meet or hear of?” Rebecca asked testily, then sighed. “I’m sorry. I told you before that you are my only exception. No one that has been in my room is in my life anymore.”

Cass hung her head. “I know.” Rand legitimately got in Cass’s head today.

“We’re going to talk more about this when I’m done. Okay?”

Cass nodded and made a move to leave, but Rebecca took her hand and pushed her gently into her office chair. After settling herself in Cassidy’s lap, Rebecca put the phone on speaker.

“Sorry about that.”

“You okay?”

“Yes. Hunter, you’re on speaker. I’m here with Cassidy. My girlfriend.”

“Cass,” Cass muttered automatically.

“Oh! Um, hello. Wow, I had no idea!”

Cass couldn’t get a read on this Hunter person’s vibe. Of course, she had only said like three sentences, but still. Was she interested in Rebecca? Who wouldn’t be? Rebecca is fine as hell. What was Cass up against?

“I know, sorry,” Rebecca said softly. “I should have told you sooner, but I’ve been a bit preoccupied.” She winked at Cassidy and kissed her lightly.

“Understandable. It’s nice to meet you, Cass.”

Cass’s eyebrows went up. Hunter definitely sounded sincere. And, she called her Cass. Good listener. Rebecca needed that in her life. Cass felt the tension easing.

“Nice to, uh, kinda meet you, too,” she said awkwardly causing both Rebecca and Hunter to laugh.

“We have to get together soon and celebrate!” Hunter suggested enthusiastically.

“Do you always celebrate someone getting a girlfriend in your circle?” Cass asked genuinely.

“When it’s Rebecca who hasn’t given anyone a second look in years, yes!”

“Hey! I’m sitting right here,” Rebecca chimed in. She was a little put off by the years remark, but she knew Hunter didn’t mean anything by it. “But, I think you’re right. We should all get together and have dinner. That includes Mo and Patty. Is that okay with you, baby?”

Well, shit. I didn’t have anything at all to worry about.“Sounds awesome to me!” It also reminded her of lunch with Rand and Connor. She hadn’t asked Rebecca, yet. But, hell, if they were in the “let’s tell everyone we’re dating” mode, she didn’t think Rebecca would have a problem with lunch.

“Awesome,” Rebecca laughed softly. She stared into Cassidy’s shining eyes for a moment before remembering Hunter was on the other line. “You’ll have to tell us when you’re available, Hunter. She’s a trauma surgeon,” Rebecca explained to Cassidy who responded with a silent “cool.”

“Will do. I’m excited to meet the woman that tamed you.”

“I don’t know about tamed,” Cass said.

“I’m still the one with the whip,” Rebecca quipped and almost lost it when Cassidy’s eyes grew wide with shock. “Hunter knows about Mistress, baby. She’s a very good friend who’s been there since the night Samantha died.”

“Oh.” There was a tiny pause and then, “Oh! Wait! Trauma surgeon? Was she? Were you Rebecca’s doctor, Hunter?” Cass asked, bringing Hunter back into the conversation

“Sure was.”

“I can’t wait to shake your hand and thank you for saving my girl’s life.” Cass grinned at the slight blush that graced Rebecca’s face.

“Just doing my sworn duty, though I’d never turn down a handshake. Especially if it was accompanied by a beer.”

“You’re on!”

Rebecca’s head swam at the fast connection Cassidy and Hunter seemed to have. It was, as Cassidy would say, awesome! What a relief! “I don’t mean to interrupt the bromance here, but did you need something, Hunter?”

Cass guffawed, and Hunter snorted, each of them spewing out the word “bromance” with mirth.

“Nah, it’ll keep.”

“No, no.” Cass patted Rebecca’s ass, getting her to let her up. “I’ll let you two talk. Besides, how can you gush about me if I’m sitting here?”

Rebecca and Hunter both laughed heartily. “Get out of here, you nut.”

Cass kissed her. “I’ll be painting. Come get me when you’re done.” She jogged out of the room.

“She sounds great,” Hunter said quietly.

Rebecca was still staring at the door Cassidy disappeared through. “She is.” She cleared her throat and picked up the phone, turning off speaker.

“How long have you been together?”

“Shouldn’t we be talking about why you called?” Rebecca asked. It’s not that she didn’t want to talk about Cassidy. She could do that all day. But she didn’t want to be selfish.

“In a minute. You wouldn’t want to disappoint your girlfriend by not gushing about her,” Hunter answered playfully.

“I think you two are going to get along just fine.”

“I’m sure we will. Anyone who makes you as happy as you sound is good with me.”

“I am happy, Hunter.” Finally. “It’s been a little more than three weeks. At times, it feels much longer. There’s this comfort and familiarity there. To have that along with the excitement she brings me every day is a gift.”

“That’s fantastic, Becca. How’d you two meet?”

“Oh,” Rebecca chuckled nervously. “Well, we met at the club, actually.”

“Club as in your club?”

“Yes. I had her in my room.”

“I—wow. I didn’t think you…”

“I don’t.”

“Hmm. Obviously, there’s something about Cass that drew you to her.”

“Aside from the absolute sexiness?”

Hunter laughed. “Yeah, aside from that. Get to the part that goes deeper.”

It was on the tip of Rebecca’s tongue to make some lewd remark about Cassidy going deeper, but she stopped herself.

“She’s talented, intelligent, funny… young.”

“How young are we talking, Becca?”

“Very. She’s, ahem, twenty-five.”

“Damn! I never pictured you as a cougar!”

Hunter snickered, and Rebecca held her middle finger up in front of the phone. Hunter couldn’t see it, but it made Rebecca feel better.

“Ha, ha.”

“I’m kidding, babe. Age doesn’t matter. All that matters is how she makes you feel.”

“She makes me feel sexy, beautiful, desired. Youthful,” Rebecca confessed. “And truthfully, I don’t feel the age gap when we’re together.” The real test will be when they start going out with other people. Which apparently will be soon now that Hunter knew about them. “Now, enough about me. What’s going on with you?”

Hunter sighed. “Honestly, Becca, we can talk about that later. You’re not going for that, are you?” she asked when Rebecca remained silent.

“Nope.”

“Fine. I did it. I broke things off with Susan.”

Yes!“That’s awesome, babe!”

“Yep, you’re definitely dating someone young.” She laughed when Rebecca muttered some expletive. “I’m not gonna lie, it’s been hard. I haven’t seen my folks since because I’m afraid I don’t have the strength to keep her out of my life.”

“I have someone you can talk to, Hunter. You know that.”

“Your aunt who’s a shrink? I don’t know if I’m ready for that, Becca. I’ve made it this far on my own.”

By avoiding going to see your parents, Rebecca added silently. “Okay. If you’re ever ready, just let me know. Until then, I’ll be here.”

“I know, thank you. Hey, listen, I’ll call you about dinner. And, I’ll get Mo and Patty on board. Patty’s going to be overjoyed that you’ve found someone! I’m really happy for you, Rebecca.”

“And, I’m proud of you,” Rebecca responded sincerely. “It’s our turn to be happy, Hunter.”

“AM I INTERRUPTING?”

Cass looked up from her canvas and smiled at Rebecca. “Never. Are you mad at me?”

“Why would I be mad?”

Cass twirled her paintbrush in her fingers. It was a nervous habit she’d had for years. And, right at this moment, she was nervous as hell. “Because of my insecurity.”

Rebecca’s eyes softened. “Come here, baby.” She held her hand out to Cassidy and guided them to the small couch in the room. “It’s become clear to me that we…”

“Please don’t break up with me!”

“Oh, baby. It’s become clear to me,” Rebecca repeated as she held Cassidy’s hand, “that as much as we talk, we don’t really communicate. Not about true feelings. And, I know that’s my fault.”

Well, that’s not a breakup, Cass thought as she was able to breathe again. “No…”

Rebecca placed a finger over Cassidy’s lips, then pushed bangs out of her eyes. “It is. I don’t think I ever fully understood the impact it had on you when I ran away. The impact it had on us. Since we’ve been together, I’ve noticed how you now skirt around the issue of love. You’ll say everything but the actual words. I have to wonder if you’re still afraid I’ll run?”

Cass rubbed Rebecca’s knuckles with her thumbs. “No, I don’t think so. Not anymore. It’s just, you know, you said you wanted to go slow, baby. I’m trying to adhere to that. You have no idea how hard that has been because I am completely and undeniably in love with you, Rebecca.”

Rebecca closed her eyes and let that feeling wash over her. “I haven’t exactly adhered to taking it slow myself,” she said finally with a chuckle. “I’m here almost every night. And, if I’m not here, you’re at my place. On the one or two days we haven’t been together, we’ve talked on the phone until we fell asleep.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to push you. I think I pushed you too hard those nights in the Pink Room, came on too strong despite barely knowing each other. I shouldn’t have done that, but I was so desperate to keep you in my life. Now, I couldn’t imagine you not being in my life so I was trying not to pressure you.”

“That definitely wasn’t a complaint, Cassidy. I know I said we shouldn’t rush this, but being with you feels right to me. I knew from the moment I saw you in my club that I was in trouble.” Rebecca took a breath. “Thing is, I’ve never felt safer, more desired, or more cherished. I don’t think I could possibly explain what that means for someone like me. I thought that if I gave us a timeline, I could make sense of the strength of the feelings I have for you. Maybe I should just come to terms with the fact that not everything has to make sense. It’s time to stop isolating ourselves no matter how much I want to keep you to myself,” she winked.

“So, you’re not ashamed of me?” Cass’s heart was soaring, but the conversation with Rand haunted her.

Rebecca looked utterly confused. “Ashamed? Why on earth would I be ashamed of you? Have I ever made you feel that way?”

“No, it’s nothing you’ve done. But, I mean, I guess I can understand why you wouldn’t be eager to introduce me to your friends. Your friends are probably all successful, Ivy Leaguers.”

Rebecca stood, dragging Cassidy with her. She didn’t stop until they were standing in front of the mermaid mural in Cassidy’s living room.

“Do you see this?”

Cass looked up at the wall and shrugged. “Yeah. It’s a mural.”

“No, Cassidy. Do you see? You’ve taken simple lines and curves and, with a paintbrush, you turned them into something incredible. Do you know what I can do with a paintbrush? Absolutely nothing,” she answered before Cassidy could say anything. “You don’t need a fancy school to be smart. You don’t need a white coat to be successful. You, Cassidy, are talented beyond anything I’ve ever seen. You have the attention of one of the most influential and respected people in the art industry.”

“Because of you,” Cass muttered and shuffled her feet.

“No, because of you. Eve wouldn’t give you this chance because I asked her to. She’s giving it to you because you deserve it.”

Cass looked at her mural again. “It’s always been a hobby or a way to pay bills,” she said at length. “No one has ever really taken me seriously, and I guess that made me not take it too seriously.” She brought her gaze to Rebecca. “You do. I want to make you proud without embarrassing you in front of your friends.”

Rebecca raised a brow. “You do make me proud. Though, I think you have a very skewed idea of my life. Do you know who my closest friends are other than Eve?” Cassidy shook her head. “Hunter, who was my surgeon, and Patty and Mo who were my nurses. That’s it. After Samantha, I couldn’t trust anyone else, Cassidy. I didn’t want to let anyone in who could possibly hurt me. So, you see? You’ve broken all of my rules.”

Wow.Cass felt sad for Rebecca, but not sorry for her. If she were to examine her own life, she would see that most of her friends were mere acquaintances. Sure, she had those friends who were always up for a party. But, if she were to call them now just to talk, would they have anything to say to each other?

“Rules are made to be broken,” Cass said, bringing Rebecca closer to her. “Thank you for letting me in, baby.”

Rebecca smiled. “I don’t think I had a choice, Cassidy.” She tugged Cassidy’s head down for a heartfelt kiss and moaned when Cassidy picked her up. Wrapping her legs around Cassidy’s waist, she gazed at her lover through lowered lashes.

“I love that you can do this.”

“Me, too,” Cass grinned, then frowned when Rebecca place her fingers over her lips when she went in for another kiss.

“I have one question before we get too distracted.”

“You’re a little too late, but shoot.”

Rebecca lifted her chin at the mural. The mermaid was still faceless, but still, she wondered. “Was it me?”

It was a little difficult to shuffle your feet when holding someone in your arms. “Um, yeah. I couldn’t get you out of my head, so I painted this. But as the days went on, I—I couldn’t keep coming home and seeing your face every day. Sorry.”

Rebecca kissed Cassidy’s pouting lips. “Don’t be sorry, baby. You’ll make up for it in the bedroom,” she winked.

Cass smirked. “Yes, Mistress.” She started towards the stairs, then stopped. “Oh, um, I guess it’s my turn to say something before I start making it up to you.”

“Okay?”

“I bumped into Rand earlier. She surprised me by showing up at my job site. Anyway, I sorta told her that we could have lunch sometime next week. You, me, Rand, and Connor.”

“This is really happening, huh? We’re coming out to everyone as a couple.”

“Seems like it. Is that okay?”

Rebecca kissed her lover again. “Totally. One more thing, Cassidy.”

“Make it quick, baby. My arms are getting a little tired and I have a lot of things to do to you.”

“I love you, too.”