Becoming by Jourdyn Kelly

TURNS OUT, THEbody needs a bit of rest after being depleted of fluids for hours on end.

“Tell me about yourself, Cassidy.” Rebecca took a sip of water, then passed the bottle over. It may have been an odd time to begin a conversation. They were both naked, sweaty, and not even close to being done with their marathon sex. But since they were currently on a break, why not get to know the person that was fucking her brains out?

“Not much to tell,” Cassidy shrugged.

“Come on. I’ve bared my soul to you. Literally. What is it you don’t want me to know?”

Cassidy’s eyes widened. “Nothing, I swear. It’s just…”

“Just?”

“There’s no story, Rebecca.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I grew up with a great family and never really had anything bad happen to me.”

The way Cassidy explained that made it seem like she was apologizing.

“Cassidy, why on earth would you feel sorry about that?”

“I don’t. Not really. I mean…” Cassidy grunted with frustration.

Rebecca reached out and caressed Cassidy’s cheek. “Never feel guilty about having a good life, baby. Be happy. Hell, be proud of that fact.”

Cassidy brought Rebecca’s hand to her lips and pressed a kiss to her palm. “I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through.”

“You’re sweet. Now, tell me about Cassidy Giles.”

Cassidy’s charming smile turned confused. “How did you know my last name?”

Rebecca chuckled. “The same way I knew your first name. If people enter my club, I know about them.”

“Does that mean you did a background check on me?”

There was no bitterness in Cassidy’s question, just pure curiosity.

“Actually, you were a guest of a member. So, only the basics were done. Nothing too invasive,” Rebecca winked.

“Were you tempted? I mean, after we, you know, in the Pink room?”

“I’m interested now, baby. I’m asking you to tell me about you. I don’t want to read some report. I want to hear your voice telling me what you were like as a child.”

Cassidy gave her a toothy smile. “I don’t know. I was a tomboy. I guess I still am,” she shrugged sheepishly. “I used to walk around without a shirt.” She looked down at her small tits. “Guess I could still do that now.”

“Um, no, you can’t. I don’t want to have to bitch slap every woman that looks at you,” Rebecca joked.

Cassidy grinned again. “I may like watching that.”

Rebecca rolled her eyes. “Tell me more.”

“Okay, let’s see.” Cassidy repositioned herself and laid her head on Rebecca’s naked thigh. “I used to love helping my dad whenever he was cutting wood or fixing the cars.”

“I thought your dad was a lawyer.”

Cassidy looked up at her with those bicolored eyes. “He is. But he always made it a point to be with us. He wasn’t interested in making the big money. He was more interested in helping those who didn’t have as much. Family was important to him and my mom. We spent a lot of time together. Of course, as a teenager, I thought it was lame. But, now, I’m grateful that they made us do that.”

“That’s beautiful.” It was something Rebecca wished she could have had. Before their death, her parents were always present and loving. She wondered if she would have been resentful of having to spend so much time with them had they lived. “Do you have siblings?”

“Yeah, I have a big brother. We don’t see each other much. He lives in the midwest now of all places. He’s busy with his life. Has a wife and kids and I get that. At least I get to see him and my niece and nephew on the holidays when they come to mom and dad’s place.” She tinkered with Rebecca’s bellyring. “What about you? Have any brothers or sisters?”

“No, I’m an only child.” Rebecca ran her fingers through Cassidy’s soft hair. “When did you know you were gay?” She was changing the subject and knew Cassidy accepted that when she smiled and answered without question.

“I’m pretty sure I’ve known since I was a little sperm swimming around looking for a place to dock.”

Rebecca laughed. “Oh, God. You’re a nut!”

“I’m serious!” Cassidy joined in on the laughter. “I’ve always known. I never felt different or anything. I just knew that I liked girls. I mean, I knew girls who like boys, girls who liked girls, boys who liked girls, boys who liked boys. It was all normal to me.”

“Different generation,” Rebecca mumbled.

Cassidy leaned over and kissed Rebecca’s tummy. “Maybe. I guess it’s easier to accept these days.”

“Easier to understand,” Rebecca corrected. “There are still people out there that don’t approve.”

“Who the fuck cares about anyone who doesn’t approve? I don’t live my life for those people.”

“I take it your parents approve.”

“Yeah, they’re cool. When I told them, my mom swore she knew before I did. Of course, I told her my sperm theory to set her straight.”

Rebecca shook her head. She loved Cassidy’s playfulness. Samantha was never like this. Hell, moments like this were unheard of. It was sex. And, of course, control.

“So, no awkward experimentations in college for you?”

“Uh.” Cassidy rubbed the back of her neck. “I didn’t go to college.”

“You seem embarrassed about that.”

“You’re just so smart. Academics were never my specialty, Rebecca. Art was. And I didn’t feel like I could learn how to hone my skills in a classroom learning math and shit. My dad hoped I’d be a lawyer, but my brother did that. My mom wanted me to do something that made me happy. And even though she didn’t agree with me not going to college, she knows my art makes me happy.”

“What you do with a paintbrush is magical, baby. You deserve to be in galleries.” Rebecca slapped her playfully when Cassidy made a face. “Stop. You’re more talented than occasional murals.”

Clearly uncomfortable with the compliments, Cassidy returned to what they were discussing before. “So, um, what about you, Rebecca?”

“Cuinn,” Rebecca offered.

“Cuinn. I like that. Rebecca Cuinn.” She said Rebecca’s full name as though she were rolling it around in her mouth like a fine wine. Then she cleared her throat when she saw Rebecca looking at her funny. “When did you know you were gay? Any sordid affairs in college?”

“Hmm, I think, like you, I always knew. Only, it wasn’t as talked about back when I was a teen so I did feel different.” She crinkled her nose at the thought. She didn’t enjoy the age difference between them, but it was something she would have to get over. “When I was in college I was too busy getting a double degree to explore anything. And, then, in my senior year, I met… Samantha.”

Cassidy averted her eyes and frowned. “She was your first?”

“Yes.”

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence. “What about your parents? Are they supportive?” Cassidy asked, changing the subject.

Unfortunately, that was also an uncomfortable subject. “They, um, died when I was ten. They never knew, but I think I knew them well enough to believe they would be supportive.”

Cassidy sat up and took Rebecca in her arms. “Jesus, Rebecca. I’m so sorry. How?” She cringed and shook her head. “I’m sorry,” she apologized again.

“It’s okay, Cassidy.” She touched the younger woman’s cheek. “It was a drunk driver. Apparently, it was over in seconds. The police always think that it’s a comfort to say it was instant and they didn’t suffer. Unfortunately, to a ten-year-old, that doesn’t ease the pain.”

“Where did you go, you know, after?”

“My aunt, my mom’s sister, took me in. Listen, Cassidy, I know there are things in my life that have been horrible. But, it wasn’t all bad. I had a good life with my aunt. It helps that she’s a psychiatrist. I still talk to her as a therapist on a regular basis. Does that bother you?”

“Of course not! I think you’re the strongest, bravest woman I’ve ever met.”

“I don’t know if I’d say that…”

“I said it. And I mean it.” She leaned in and kissed Rebecca’s lips briefly. “Anyone who can go through what you went through and come out so incredible has to be strong.”

“You barely know me, Cassidy.”

“I know enough, Rebecca. You’re courageous, successful, intelligent. I mean, shit, you were getting a double degree while in college. You’re beautiful as fuck and you have an ass to die for.”

“Ah, yes. A quality to be proud of,” Rebecca laughed.

“You should be proud of that ass, baby! You know, your ass is the first thing I saw after you left your card on my table. I sure as shit didn’t want to be at that club that night. Thought I hated what that lifestyle stood for. But I would have followed that ass to the depths of hell if I thought I had a chance of fucking it.”

Rebecca lifted an eyebrow playfully. “And you did fuck it.” She kissed Cassidy a little deeper. “You can fuck it anytime you want, baby.”

“Hell, yeah.” Cassidy pushed Rebecca back into a prone position and laid on top of her. “This okay?” she asked softly.

Rebecca touched Cassidy’s lips with her fingertip. “I trust you, Cassidy.”

She showed Cassidy how much she trusted her many, many more times that night. And well into the morning.

REBECCA WOKE UPto the strange sensation of a warm body next to hers. And by next to hers, she clearly meant she was wrapped around that warm body like an octopus. She knew exactly where she was and what they had done just a few hours before. The “strange” part was waking up to someone for the first time. Samantha had her side of the bed and that had been fine with Rebecca. Rebecca was never quite in the mood to snuggle with the woman who took pleasure in hurting her.

What she found with Cassidy was so different. Making love was an epiphany to Rebecca. She had thought, so long ago, that her life needed adventure. She had been so afraid of being the “boring” person everyone assumed she was that she allowed herself to be with someone that was toxic. If she had known then what Cassidy had taught her in mere hours, Samantha would never have happened. Or, perhaps Samantha had to happen in order for Rebecca to see how special someone like Cassidy was. If that was the case, Rebecca wouldn’t have changed a thing if it meant ending up right here, right now, with Cassidy.

Rebecca could tell from Cassidy’s breathing that she was awake. Cassidy’s heart was beating fast beneath her cheek, and Rebecca wondered what she was thinking about. Or if she was uncomfortable in any way having Rebecca there. Hoping that wasn’t the case, Rebecca took Cassidy’s taut nipple into her mouth and hummed with approval. Cassidy’s small gasp and the tightening of her arms around Rebecca was a good sign.

Rebecca released the nipple with a light pop and looked up at her companion with a smile. “Good morning.”

“The best,” Cassidy replied with a smile. She tenderly pushed a strand of hair off of Rebecca’s face. “How did you sleep?”

“Like a baby.” For the first time ever. No dreams, no fears. Nothing but peaceful rest. “You?”

“Never better.” She kissed Rebecca’s forehead so gently that it was just a feather of a touch.

Rebecca enjoyed the feeling almost as much as she was enjoying rolling Cassidy’s nipple between her fingers. “How long have you been awake?”

“Um.” There was a minuscule pause as though Cassidy was trying to think of a satisfactory answer. “Not long.”

She hissed when Rebecca pinched her nipple hard. Rebecca had been awake for a little while herself and knew Cassidy wasn’t being completely honest. “Mmhmm. Try again.”

Cassidy laughed. “About fifteen minutes or so.”

Or longer, Rebecca thought, but let Cassidy get away with her answer. Besides, she had more questions. Like what was making Cassidy’s heart beat so fast. “What were you thinking about?”

“Um.”

Note to self; Cassidy starts with ‘um’ when she’s scared or nervous.

“Can I ask you a question?” Cassidy asked timidly.

Rebecca chuckled. Of course, she knew exactly what Cassidy was doing, but what could Cassidy possibly ask after their talk last night? During their breaks, they talked even more. They stayed away from anything particularly heavy after their first conversation, focusing more on likes and dislikes. Rebecca was surprised to find that they had a lot more in common than she thought they would.

“You didn’t learn enough last night?”

“I could never learn enough. The more I discover, the more I need to know, Rebecca.”

There was no mirth in Cassidy’s words and the sincerity caused Rebecca to blush. She cleared her throat and fidgeted under Cassidy’s intense stare.

“What’s your question, Cassidy.”

Cassidy’s eyes widened a little. “Do you…?” She visibly gulped before trying again. “Do you…?”

Rebecca leaned back, amused by Cassidy’s inability to get her question out. “You’re cute when you’re flustered.”

Cassidy raised a brow. “I am not flustered.”

She was sure Cassidy was trying to sound offended, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. So, Rebecca tweaked Cassidy’s nipple again causing more laughter from Cassidy.

“What are you? A lie detector test?”

“Yes. You’d be wise to remember that,” Rebecca teased with a smirk. “Now, what’s your question?”

Another pause. “Do you…?”

“I got that part,” Rebecca laughed. “Try different words.”

“Do you think you could fall in love with me?”

Cassidy said the words so fast that they ran together, and it took Rebecca a minute to decipher what was said. When it all came together in her brain, she smiled brightly. Mostly for Cassidy’s courage, but also because she was so cute about it.

“Yes,” she said finally when Cassidy peeked down at her with anticipation.

Cassidy was now sporting that toothy, goofy grin of hers that Rebecca found irresistible.

“Do you think you’ve already started falling?”

Cassidy’s mouth slammed shut. She didn’t mean to say that, Rebecca surmised by the look of pure fear in Cassidy’s eyes. A fear that Rebecca felt as well. She didn’t know how it was possible, but it did feel like she was falling. That had to be what this feeling was. Since it felt good, Cassidy felt good, Rebecca allowed herself to be honest.

She caressed Cassidy’s cheek and whispered, “Yes.” It was frightening how true that was. She was definitely going to have to talk to Aunt Wills about this. Was it even possible to fall this quickly for someone? She nearly squealed with surprise when she suddenly found herself pinned beneath a very happy Cassidy.

“You know, we are lesbians.”

Rebecca laughed. “Really? What tipped you off?”

“Cute. What I mean is, we should take advantage of this stereotype we have. We’ve had three dates, that means a U-Haul is totally acceptable.”

Oh shit.Okay, the possibility of falling fast for someone is one thing. Moving in is a whole other animal altogether. The last person Rebecca lived with almost killed her. She meant it when she said she trusted Cassidy, but did she trust herself? Did she trust her instincts? Hell, did she trust that she wouldn’t become exactly like Samantha? Be calm about this, Rebecca.

“We have not had three dates,” she said playfully. She certainly didn’t want to scare Cassidy off. But she would need to make it clear that no matter how fast she was falling, they needed to take it slow.

“Sure, we have. The first two times at the club, and now. Or last night. If we make love right now, that’ll be four. Which, if you need four dates, I’m totally willing to sacrifice,” Cassidy grinned.

One thing was certain. Rebecca was going to laugh a lot in this relationship. She shook her head. “Sex? Sex is what constitutes a date for you?” Cassidy shrugged as if Rebecca just asked her the silliest question. “There was no food involved.”

“Food? That’s a date for you? Food?”

Well, it’s a start, Rebecca thought. This was probably a significant difference in their age gap. Truth was, Rebecca had no clue how to date these days. She had avoided it like the plague. Maybe sex was all it took for this generation. But that’s not how she wanted things with Cassidy. As phenomenal as the sex was, she wanted something deeper between them.

“For starters, yes,” Rebecca chuckled and caught Cassidy by the ass cheek as she tried to get up. “Where are you going?”

“To see what I have in the fridge. I’m going to make you breakfast, lunch, and dinner.” She frowned. “I think maybe I have some eggs. I know I have some beer.”

“Such a bachelor,” Rebecca mumbled blithely.

“Not anymore.”

God, the way Cassidy looked at her, so cheerful and honest, it made Rebecca think things would actually work if she were to agree to move in right this second. Nevertheless, Rebecca Cuinn was a realist. She caught Cassidy again before she could get up.

“Cassidy. Don’t rush this.” She felt bad when Cassidy looked as though Rebecca just popped her perfect bubble.

“I’m not trying to, Rebecca. It’s just…”

Cassidy hesitated, and Rebecca filled in the blanks. It was easy to do when the fear was quite apparent. “You’re afraid I’ll run again.” Cassidy shrugged. “And, I’m afraid you’ll find someone younger and more beautiful.”

“Never,” Cassidy said without uncertainty.

“I could say the same thing to you. I’ll never leave again. I told you we would try this, and we will.” Cassidy’s long bangs fell into her worried eyes as she bowed her head slightly. Rebecca reached up and tucked them behind a multi-pierced ear. “But we’re going to have to prove it to each other. If we’re going to trust each other together, we’re going to have to trust each other when we’re apart.”

Oh, Aunt Wills would be proud of that one. Perhaps Rebecca was learning more from these therapy sessions than she realized.

Cassidy let out an over-exaggerated sigh. “I know. But you’ll stay sometimes, right?”

“Of course. We’re in our honeymoon stage,” Rebecca waggled her eyebrows at Cassidy causing her to chuckle. Her heart felt lighter now that this first hurdle was cleared. She knew there would be more. That’s life. But if they could face them together like this, they would be fine. “We’ll be together more than we’re apart, Cassidy. We just need to know we can be apart without falling apart.”

Somehow that would sound more convincing coming from someone other than Rebecca who had no clue what she was doing. But whether she was trying to convince herself or Cassidy, it didn’t matter. Truth was truth.

“No problem. We totally got this.”

Rebecca moaned softly when Cassidy kissed her firmly. “Totally,” she murmured against Cassidy’s lips before deepening the kiss even more. Unfortunately, she wasn’t prepared for the angry sound coming from Cassidy’s belly and began laughing just as things were getting heated.

“Hungry?” Rebecca managed between snickers.

“I missed dinner last night,” Cassidy pouted and looking very cute doing so.

“Aww, poor baby.” Rebecca was starving herself, but she wouldn’t give Cassidy the satisfaction of knowing that. Instead, she patted Cassidy’s ass and gave it a little squeeze. “Up. Let’s get some food inside of you.”

“I’d rather have you inside of me.”

That would have worked wonders on Rebecca if Cassidy’s stomach hadn’t picked that moment to growl loudly again. She’s definitely cute when she blushes, Rebecca thought with amusement.

“You’ll have me. But you need some sustenance. I think your stamina needs a bit of a boost.” So does mine.

“Fine. Can you cook?”

“I have many talents,” Rebecca answered saucily with a wink. That confidence was only on the surface. Not that she wasn’t a great cook. She was. She just hoped she could cook for Cassidy without having flashbacks or a fucking panic attack. “However, I think even my abilities won’t be enough for possibly expired eggs and beer.”

A sheepish grin told Rebecca she was probably right about the eggs. She scooted out from under Cassidy, knowing that if she stayed there much longer, they were never going to get up.

Cassidy propped herself up on her elbow, not bothering to cover up her glorious nakedness. Yummy.

“Want me to go pick something up?” Cassidy asked as her eyes followed Rebecca’s every move.

After a quick scan of the bedroom floor, Rebecca remembered her clothes were downstairs decorating the living room floor. She bent over and picked up Cassidy’s shirt and slipped it on. It dwarfed her, but noticing Cassidy’s reaction, she’d say the shirt was perfect.

“No. I know of this great little diner not too far from here. Plus, it’s close to the gallery I was telling you about.” She padded to the bathroom, determined not to let the sexy way Cassidy was looking at her interfere with her plans for food. “It can be our first date.”

“Rebecca?”

Rebecca paused, a small smile playing on her lips. She loved hearing Cassidy say her name. It made her feel… real.

“Yes?”

“Will you still teach me?”

Surprise wasn’t a strong enough word for what Rebecca felt. She knew Cassidy didn’t like authority. She knew that lifestyle wasn’t something Cassidy really wanted. So, for her to ask Rebecca to teach her was completely unexpected.

“You still want to do that?”

“Yes. Only with you.”

Rebecca’s nose flared with desire. While she hadn’t had time to think about how a relationship with Cassidy would affect her life as Mistress, Rebecca knew that would always be a part of her. Would she have been willing to give her up for Cassidy? With this request, maybe she wouldn’t have to.

“Lay down and spread your legs, Cassidy.”

A small smirk formed on Cassidy’s lips. “Yes, Mistress.”

Rebecca unbuttoned the shirt she just put on and stalked towards her Sub. She tamped down the fear that she would allow her dominant side to overpower her. There was a substantial difference between what she had with Samantha and what this was with Cassidy. That difference was, Rebecca cared.

She watched as Cassidy automatically placed her arms above her head and clasped onto the headboard. Her heart rate tripled when Cassidy spread her legs wide, exposing everything to Mistress. Oh, yeah. Having Cassidy as a girlfriend was going to be very fun.