Holding Her Heart by Melissa Tereze

17

Okay,this was it. The first time Eden would be alone with Aster since the kiss. No distractions, no need to cut things short. Only the two of them. They’d spoken briefly while Aster was home with her dad, but Eden was pacing herself. At least, she had been until her eyes landed on Aster this evening during work.

Both knew they had to remain professional, and that was Eden’s saving grace all night. Because the times she’d thought about dragging Aster into a corner were too many to count. But now, five days on from the most earth-shattering kiss, Eden was truly ready to try. If she wanted a happy ending, she didn’t have time to waste.

Eden turned her key in the lock, pushing the door open with her shoulder. Aster followed behind her, the camera bag weighing her down during the walk back, but she was thankful Aster had decided to come back with her after work. She could see how tired and worn-out Aster was this evening. It had been the longest day.

Now, Eden just had to figure out where they went from here. She was hopeless when it came to dating.

She turned around, taking Aster’s camera bag from her. “Let me put that somewhere safe. You’re like a cart horse with it.”

“Thanks.” Aster’s right shoulder sagged as Eden lifted the weight from it. “I’m so used to it that I don’t realise how heavy it is until I take it off.”

“You’re joined at the hip. I’m not surprised.” Eden gave herself a moment for some small talk. She needed to get everything right this evening. Aster was here. There was no rush to get carried away.

They were both shattered, it’d been a long night, but as Eden had walked through the door, she felt wired. If Aster was sitting on her couch, she would always be alert. She placed the camera bag down on the counter, pushing it away from the edge. She wouldn’t be responsible for it toppling onto the marble floor below; that really would be the end of any and all relationships between the two of them.

“Can I get you anything? I could make a snack…it’s up to you.”

“No, I’m okay. I picked up a bowl of chips between the speeches and the meal.”

Eden hadn’t thought to do that, but she rarely had the time anyway. She had to be on hand for any issues that may arise. It didn’t happen often, but she knew her luck would fail her when she wasn’t around and ultimately needed. “Okay, well something to drink then?”

“Sure. What do you have?”

“Anything you want. I have that Irish whiskey you like. I picked a bottle up a few weeks ago after we’d hung out a bit. Figured it would be handy to have a bottle in for you.”

Aster shrugged her blazer from her shoulders, untucking her shirt from her pants. “Okay, that’s kinda nice.”

“It’s only whiskey.”

“I know, but it’s still a nice thing you did.”

Eden glanced around the kitchen, trying not to think too much about Aster or how she’d looked at her all evening. When she did, she couldn’t concentrate. “Or I have different teas. Coffee. Whatever.”

“I think coffee is best for now,” Aster said, kicking off her shoes and easing onto Eden’s corner couch in the window. “Alcohol doesn’t do either of us any favours.”

Eden had to agree. Before she joined Aster, she had to stand for a moment and appreciate the scene playing out in front of her. Aster was here, and it was as though she always had been. She was lounging on the couch, her legs crossed, thumbing through a magazine from the coffee table. “I’ll be over in a few minutes. I’ll get the coffee.”

Aster didn’t respond; she was engrossed in whatever she’d found in the magazine. But that was okay. It gave Eden a moment to gather her thoughts and herself. Because she had no idea what this night would result in. They may end up in a better position, but it could also go the opposite way and ruin whatever was budding between them. Eden didn’t want that outcome. Of all her failed relationships, this couldn’t become one.

While she desperately craved something more with Aster, Eden didn’t have a clue what was and wasn’t on the table. Could she touch her, hold her hand? Should she refrain from getting too close? God, I hate this. She exhaled a steady breath, gripping the counter as she calmed her nerves. Maybe if they’d had a real chance to talk last week, this meeting may have felt less intense.

A sudden hand placed on her shoulder had Eden’s body pin straight, Aster’s breath tickling the back of her neck. “Need a hand?”

Eden dropped the spoon she was holding to the counter, the clatter bringing her right back into the room. “N-no. I’ve got it.”

“Turn around, Eden.”

Eden did exactly that, breathless when she found Aster closer than she expected, her eyes holding her in place. “Is everything okay?”

Aster shrugged. “You tell me…”

“I want it to be.” Eden paused. “God, I want everything to be okay, but is it? Can it be? I feel so out of my depth with this.”

“You’re scared, and I completely get that, but I need you to always be honest with me, okay?”

“Last week when you came over was probably the most honest I’ve been with anyone.” It was true. Eden never discussed how she was feeling. And she certainly never took the first step with someone else like she had at the club. Maybe that was where she’d gone wrong all her life, waiting for the right person and the right moment. But with Aster, it was all different. She felt as though they were on an even footing in some ways.

“How do you want to do this, Eden?” Aster tucked Eden’s hair behind her ear, smiling as her fingers grazed her skin. “I mean, you’re not out. Nobody knows about this. Is that something you want to do? To be out?”

Dread filled Eden’s entire body. She hadn’t thought about that moment until now. “Shit. I don’t know.”

Aster offered a sad smile, nodding slightly. “I didn’t think you would. But I had to ask.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to be out, but can I do that? I don’t even know how I’d label myself.”

“Don’t label yourself. Nobody is asking you to.” Aster’s body heat relaxed Eden, her muscles less tense as she rested back against the counter. “But I would like to know how you want to play this.”

“Y-you mean…” Eden stammered, pointing between them. “There’s potentially an us?”

“I thought I’d made that clear last week before I left.”

Eden gripped what she could before her knees gave out on her. Why did Aster mean so much? Why did she have this effect? Nothing made any sense. “Oh. Wow.”

Aster furrowed her brow. “You sound surprised.”

“I am. I hadn’t anticipated this moment. It’s not something I’ve thought about. It didn’t seem possible, even as you were kissing me.”

“Then don’t think about it. Not right now.” Aster curled two fingers under Eden’s chin, lifting her head ever so slightly. “Right now, it’s you and me. Nobody else. No best friends or acquaintances. Just us, Eden.”

Oh, boy! Didn’t Eden know it.

“And as much as I’ve tried to distance myself from you, I can’t. I spent the week at home with Dad and all I thought about was you. You’re everywhere, but that’s what I want. If I’m going to be serious about someone, having you everywhere is exactly what I want.”

Eden swallowed, her hands clammy as she gripped Aster’s hips. She pulled Aster closer, desperate to taste her.

Aster leaned in slowly, smiling as Eden’s breath came in short sharp bursts. Was this the moment that Eden would realise everything she’d been missing in her life? Would kissing Aster again bring everything together for her once and for all?

“I need to know that you want this, Eden,” Aster whispered, switching her own gaze between Eden’s eyes. “I know you say you do, but I need to know you’re sure.”

Eden gripped the front of Aster’s shirt, pulling their breasts together. “I want this. No doubt about it.”

“Yeah?” Aster’s husky voice only heightened everything Eden was feeling tonight. She’d fully expected to be home alone after work, but here she was, about to kiss one hell of a woman.

Eden didn’t need to explain anymore. She needed to be kissing Aster Bennett. She surely couldn’t get that part wrong. Kissing was…just kissing.

You make the first move this time. Show her you want it!

Until Aster’s lips met hers and Eden was reminded that kissing really wasn’t just kissing. The softness, the light breath, the audible moan from Aster. God, the arousal that pooled between Eden’s legs was off the scale unexpected. Nobody had ever made her feel that way from a simple kiss. But this wasn’t simple, and it wasn’t anybody. It was Aster.

“Breathe,” Aster said, pulling back. She swiped a thumb across Eden’s bottom lip, relaxing her. “If we’re going to do that more often, I need you to breathe for me.”

Eden brought her fingertips up to her lips, pressing them against the moistness she felt. “Jesus.”

“The name is Aster, babe.” Aster suddenly leant back in, devouring Eden as she pressed her body harder against her. “I never knew that kissing someone could feel so fucking good,” Aster said, her forehead resting against Eden’s. “I mean, I’ve thought about last week’s kiss every minute of every day, but I’m surprised all over again.”

Eden wrinkled her nose. “It was okay?”

One of Aster’s hands slid to Eden’s ass, cupping it as she pulled her away from the counter, her own back connecting with the opposite side. “Okay?”

“Y-yeah.” Eden swallowed, trying to read Aster’s eyes. All she found was arousal. Deep, dark eyes.

“I think we may need a separate hotel room for Pride. Because if I manage to have my way, we’ll never leave the one we’re supposed to be sharing.”

Those words sent Eden into a frenzy. Not only was Aster the greatest kiss of her life, she was saying all the right things too. “Oh, I’m sure we’ll manage.”

* * *

Aster’s world was spinning. Not out of control, but on its head. Eden was sitting beside her, the taste of her still on Aster’s lips, her legs pulled across Aster’s lap. Yeah, there was no doubt about how much it was spinning. But it felt good. After the week she’d had, missing Eden, she truly believed she’d made the right decision to come back here tonight.

Okay, they had a way to go before anything significant would happen, but the first step had been taken, and that was the most important thing. If Aster cast her mind back to last Sunday, that unease remained. The disinterest in Eden’s eyes was startling considering she’d been lying. Did that make her good at fooling people? Aster hoped not. She also prayed Eden hadn’t had much experience in doing so, because even though she was thoroughly enjoying being here this evening, Aster did have some reservations.

She wanted to go hell for leather with this, to enjoy every last second of it, but what if Eden changed her mind? What if they had their fun and then went their separate ways? Eden didn’t give off that impression, but Aster still didn’t know much about her. She didn’t know what made her tick, the relationships she’d been in before, or why on earth she’d taken an interest in Aster.

But maybe that would be discovered in time. Maybe Aster had to allow Eden the chance to understand it all herself before she threw herself at her. “Do you have any plans to speak to Blair?”

Eden feathered a fingertip over the back of Aster’s hand. “I haven’t thought about it. I know I can’t avoid her forever, and I know that she was technically right, but she’s only going to push this. And I don’t want that.”

“I know you have…issues. I mean, this is potentially going to shock a lot of people, you know, but I’m okay with keeping it all quiet. For now, at least.”

“I appreciate that.” Eden shifted closer, resting her head on Aster’s shoulder. This moment was the moment she’d been daydreaming about from the second she’d discovered her attraction towards her boss, but Aster understood that nothing could be rushed. If she fell hard, something she fully expected to happen, it could become too overbearing for Eden. “I want to enjoy you for a while before I deal with the backlash of all this.”

“The backlash?”

“My mother,” Eden said. “I don’t think she’s going to hit the floor when I tell her, but I’m sure she’ll have something to say. She always has something to say about my life.”

“And if she does have a problem with this?” Aster asked, turning her hand over and lacing her fingers with Eden’s. “Would it change anything for you?”

“I hope not.” Eden spoke with honesty. And honesty was important to Aster. “It’s not going to change how I feel about you or the fact that I want to be happy. That’s not something you have to worry about.”

“I’m…surprised.”

Eden turned her body towards Aster. “About me?”

“About all of this.” Aster ran a hand through her hair. She didn’t know how to explain all of the thoughts running through her mind. “I noticed you the day I met you, but to be sitting here with you now...”

Eden cleared her throat. “My biggest concern is making you happy. I’m not sure I’ve ever made anyone happy before. And the girls back home always laid the blame at my feet, so it was easier to agree. And after a while, you start believing the things your supposed ‘friends’ are saying behind your back.”

“What do they say?”

Eden’s skin flushed, her eyes lowering to their hands. “They like to have an opinion on my life. Everyone else is married with kids, but I’m not.”

“Blair isn’t…”

“Blair is different. And she was at one point. But they all had an inkling about her when she was married to Barrett anyway. Whereas I’ve always been single and childless. They blamed my career. They blamed me for wanting what was best for myself. And they even suggested that I was too cold hearted to raise a family.”

“They sound like shitty friends to me,” Aster scoffed, angered that Eden’s friends would say such things about her. “Just because you don’t mirror their lives doesn’t make you any less deserving of whatever you want.”

“I tried to find the perfect man, and I tried to date whenever I had spare time. But nobody ever did it for me. Poor Liam was another in a long line of failures. But that was my fault for staying with him. I’m not sure I’d ever felt a connection with him, but it seemed easier to plod along than call it a day.”

“Have you thought that maybe you’ve never really been into only men? Or not as into them as you thought you were?”

Eden shrugged. “It wasn’t something I considered. Whether it was a man or a woman, I wasn’t paying full attention. Liam always wanted to be out eating or drinking. But this…this is what I want. To be alone, relaxed, in your arms.”

“You want a simple life, don’t you? Work and a relationship to come home to at night.”

“I’ve spent so much time dreaming about that kind of life, Aster. And when you walked into my office…I don’t know. Something clicked together for me. I was drawn to you before you’d even opened your mouth to speak. What does that mean?”

“I’m not the greatest with relationships so I can’t say, but in my opinion, we just found one another. And maybe that was always supposed to happen, I don’t know, but I feel like I’m in the right place. With you. Like this.”

Eden leaned up on her elbow, her lips ghosting across Aster’s. Those lips, the gentleness, it almost had Aster melting into the couch. “I’m so sorry I lied to you last weekend. And I’m sorry for leading you to believe that I was trying my luck with you. I’ve never felt that way about you, Aster. And I never will.”

Aster swallowed as she cradled Eden’s jaw gently in her fingers. “Please don’t take this the wrong way…”

Eden frowned.

“But are you entirely sure you want to do this with me?” Aster didn’t lose her focus on Eden’s eyes; she needed the absolute truth tonight.

“You mean, am I bored and looking for something to take my mind off things?” Eden didn’t sound offended, but it was hard to be sure. “Aster, is that really what you think of me?”

“N-no. It’s just…I’ve always been hopeless with relationships. They never last. And I really want this one to last because it means so much to me.”

“Aster—”

Aster snorted. She really couldn’t believe she was lying here with Eden Kline. Of all the women in the world, it was the attention of this particular one that Aster never thought she’d catch. “I can’t even get the lesbians to look my way. I’m sure you can understand my uncertainty.”

“I have no answers for you, but I know that I’m certain. This isn’t me looking to get my kicks somewhere new. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

Aster nodded, wrapping an arm around Eden’s shoulders. They slouched against one another, the slightest sound coming from the television. “I know.”

“Let’s figure this out together, okay?” Eden nuzzled into Aster’s shoulder, sighing. “Because I want to get this right.”

“Me too.”

Eden glanced up, her eyes bright. “I thought maybe…if you’re not busy tomorrow, I could take you out to dinner.”

Aster leaned down, kissing Eden’s forehead. “I’d love to go to dinner with you.”