Holding Her Heart by Melissa Tereze

15

Music playedthrough Eden’s apartment, the sound of laughter coming from her bedroom as Aster thumbed through a box of old photos on Eden’s bed. They’d discussed going through them for a laugh last week, and since Aster had arrived pretty much ready, she was keeping herself busy with a good twenty years’ worth of pictures.

Eden stood in front of the mirror, smoothing her dress down at the sides. She looked impeccable—nothing new there—but Aster had seen her in better dresses. Even arriving at work, Eden looked as though she was getting ready to leave for a red-carpet event.

“Can I be honest?” Aster said, glancing up from the pile of images in her hand. “About your choice of dress tonight?”

“You can.”

“Red looks great on you, but black…” Aster eyed the little black dress hanging over the mirrored wardrobe doors. “Black is your colour.”

“I agree. I was only trying something different.”

“I mean, you go with what you prefer, but black looks incredible on you.”

Eden’s cheeks flashed red; her palm settled against her stomach. “The heels? Will they do?” Eden looked down at her feet, turning to the side. “Or should I choose another pair?”

“The heels look great. But they’d look even better with that dress.” Aster pointed to the dress she’d been drooling over for the last few minutes. “I feel awful for telling you what to wear. That’s not what I’m doing at all…just giving you my opinion.”

Eden suddenly turned her back. Gripping the hem of the red dress she wore, she lifted it over her head. Aster’s eyes widened, her hands shaking as she dropped the photos into her lap. Sweet. Fucking. Jesus. Aster’s eyes grazed the entirety of Eden’s body, her black lace underwear barely hugging her ass cheeks, the backs of her tanned thighs toned and smooth. “I-I can leave the room if you want me to…”

Eden turned, frowning. “You don’t strike me as a pervert, Aster.”

“I’m not.” Then why are you looking at her like you’re about to fuck her against every wall in this apartment? “But I can still leave while you finish up here.”

Eden laughed, shaking her head. “Aster, do I make you nervous?”

Yes! “No.”

“Then I don’t know why you’re even suggesting leaving the room.” Eden took the dress from the hanger, slipping it over her shoulders.

Aster’s eyes followed the hem as it brushed Eden’s cleavage, finally covering her beautiful body. She released a slow breath, focusing back on the images that had fallen into her lap. Eden was watching her, she felt the burn of her stare, but Aster couldn’t meet her eyes. She couldn’t bring herself to look up again, because the arousal she felt would be written all over her face. “Is this Blair?”

Eden approached, leaning down as she braced her hands against the mattress. Fuck, she’s too close. Aster had to concentrate. “Yep.”

“Who is she with?”

“Her bastard ex-husband,” Eden spat, the venom in her tone startling. “I think she was pregnant with Harry in this picture.”

“She looks so young.”

“She was. Twenty-one.” Eden pushed off the mattress, fixing her dress around her thighs. Aster watched out of the corner of her eye, Eden’s perfume making everything ten times worse than it already was. “The day she called to tell me she’d left him was probably the first time I slept fully in twenty years.”

“Really?”

Eden cleared her throat, her eyes filled with tears. “He was evil. And she couldn’t see it for a long time. But then everything got worse. She’d turn up to events in the winter wearing sunglasses, and in the summer, she’d cover up. She felt she had no way out. But he made her feel that way.”

“When did she meet Dom?”

“It’s coming up to two years, I think. And even when she met Dom, I still had a bit of worry at the back of my mind. I’d spent so many years fearing for Blair that I couldn’t possibly understand why Dom wanted to be with her. Before I saw the love they shared, my mind was stuck on the money side of things, the big house and the car. You know?”

“Understandable. She’s your best friend and you only wanted to protect her.”

“No. I should have protected her from Barrett, not Dom,” Eden paused, taking a seat beside Aster. “I sometimes wonder if she hates me for that. But I tried, more than once. She cut me off whenever I did.”

“I know it’s hard seeing your friend going through something like that, but nobody knows how Blair was feeling at the time. And she had Harry to think about. You have to remember that it all worked out for her in the end.” Aster chanced her luck, placing her hand over Eden’s. “She got out. And look at her now.”

“God, I’d give anything to have what they have…”

Aster’s heart beat harder; it was almost slamming against her chest. Eden was looking at her as though she was the only woman in the world, but they were simply in a moment of reflection, so she wouldn’t allow it to consume her. Eden’s eyes often had this effect on her. She’d managed on numerous occasions before. But the truth was, this felt different. The intimacy, how Eden turned her palm upright to meet Aster’s…it all felt different than before.

“You will. I’m sure of it.”

“A-Aster…” Eden chewed her bottom lip, her long lashes fluttering slightly as Eden drew in a shaky breath. “Could we talk about something in the next few days?”

“Sure. If you need to talk, you know I’m here for you.” She squeezed Eden’s hand. “I’m your friend.”

Eden smiled weakly. “Yeah.”

“Why don’t we get this show on the road? I’ll make us a cocktail while you finish up in here. I’m only keeping you from getting ready. We’ll never get out at this rate.” Aster needed to distance herself once again.

“Wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world,” Eden muttered.

Aster loosened her grip on Eden’s hand, searching her face. Had Eden agreed to this night out only to appease Aster? “Did you not want to go out tonight?”

“I did. I mean, I do.” Eden shook her head, the slight curl in her hair bouncing as it fell around her shoulders. “You make the drinks. I’ll be five minutes in here.”

Aster smiled, offering a slight nod as she stood and collected the photographs into piles. Once she’d put them safely away, leaving the box for Eden to put back, Aster moved towards the door. She turned back momentarily, surprised to find Eden staring at her. Through her. Just…staring. “You good?”

“Perfect. Yes.”

Aster faltered when Eden continued to eye her. She threw a thumb over her shoulder, her entire body heating. “I-I’ll be out here, okay.”

“Mmhmm.”

* * *

Eden scanned the club, spying Aster at the bar with Grace. She smiled, watching as Aster wiggled her bum to the beat of the music. This bar was nothing like the last one they’d all gone to, but Eden was enjoying a change of scene. She could certainly see the appeal with Blair and her decision to suddenly love team nights.

Women danced with other women, grinding while they shoved their tongues down one another’s throats. Eden would usually be unnerved by that, public displays of affection wasn’t something she was used to, but tonight she felt different. Because the women who were dancing with one another appeared happy. They were carefree and enjoying their night out. Nobody was sitting around judging anyone else, and that was something Eden could get on board with.

Aster turned, silently offering Eden a drink. Eden lifted her glass; it was still full. She was taking it slow tonight, since she didn’t need anything to go wrong. Mouthing ‘no thank you’ to Aster, Eden turned her attention to her best friend. “This place is great.”

“Babe, this isn’t your scene. You don’t have to pretend.”

“Blair, I’m serious. I like it in here.”

“Okay.” Blair paused, holding up a hand. “This is an actual lesbian bar. Do you realise that?”

“No. I had no idea.” Eden rolled her eyes, sipping her glass of wine. Okay, the wine wasn’t the best she’d had, but she could always change her drink next time around. “Of course I know it’s a lesbian bar. I mean, it’s full of lesbians, so…”

Blair turned in her seat, propping her head in her hand as she smiled at Eden. She hated that smile. Blair was about to talk down to her. “How do you think you identify, love?”

“I don’t know.” Eden really had no idea.

“Could you see yourself dating women for the rest of your life? Do you still find men attractive?”

Eden didn’t know how to explain how she felt. She hadn’t thought about labelling herself. Did she have to? “Blair, I know that I’m attracted to Aster. I haven’t looked at a man or even any other woman since she showed up in the picture, so I couldn’t possibly say. But what I do know, is that sometimes someone comes into your life and makes you feel things in a matter of days…that you never felt in a number of years with anyone else.”

“Oh, honey. You’re preaching to the choir.”

Eden smiled, then lowered her eyes. “I did something stupid before.”

“What?”

“Aster came over to get ready for tonight. We were in my bedroom, and she mentioned that she preferred a different dress to the one I’d decided on.”

“O…kay.” Blair narrowed her big blue eyes.

“I stripped off in front of her to see if she had any reaction. And now I feel awful for doing that.”

“You stripped off?” Blair barked a laugh, shaking her head. “I have to admit, you’re definitely not what I expected you to be. You’ve always been so…straight.”

“I know this is probably confusing for you, but it is for me, too. I need your support on this, Blair. We’ve been through everything together, and I don’t know my arse from my elbow lately.”

Blair offered a sympathetic smile. “Look, you’re into Aster. So what? Who says you have to conform or fit into one particular box? If you want her, go and get her. Ignore me and anything I say. It’s just taking me a minute to see you like this. To understand that you’re into a woman. But…I support you, okay?”

Eden glanced towards the bar. Aster had gone.

“If you’re looking for her,” Blair whispered as she leaned in, “she’s on the dance floor.”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” That admission sent a wave of anxiety through Eden. How could she show Aster how she felt when she didn’t know the first thing about women? “I mean, if that time ever came…what do I do?”

“Trust me, it all falls into place. Don’t even worry about that.”

Eden reddened. She couldn’t believe this was the kind of conversation she was having with Blair lately. “Has Dom mentioned anything about Aster to you?”

“She told me that you and Aster have to figure it all out yourselves. She’s not getting involved, and she’s not being a go between.”

“Smart girl.”

“That may be true. But it means I don’t get the gossip from her if Aster has discussed you. Which seems kinda unfair.”

Eden grinned. “Dom doesn’t trust you to not tell me. And I don’t blame her. If you knew something I didn’t, you’d be on the phone to me within seconds.”

“This is true.” Blair nodded, swirling the last of her wine in her glass. “Get your drink down you and then we’re going to dance. Dom is amongst that crowd somewhere.”

“Dance?”

“Mmhmm. You’ll just happen to find Aster, and then your arse will ‘naturally’ fall into her lap.”

Eden couldn’t do that. Could she? She knew she wanted to, to feel Aster’s hands on her body as the beat took them away, but would Aster be into that? God, she hated all this uncertainty. She’d never done well with not knowing.

“Stop overthinking it. If you do, it’ll go wrong. And us lot are like cats…we sense fear.”

Eden’s mouth fell open. Would Aster sense her lack of experience? “Okay, I don’t think I can do this. She’s going to laugh in my face, Blair.”

“No, she won’t.”

Eden looked down at her glass, blowing out a deep breath as she brought it up to her lips. If she was going to do this, it had to be tonight. And with Blair close by, nothing could go wrong. Eden had felt it earlier in her bedroom. Aster may not know it, but she’d heard the photographs fall into her lap, she’d heard the sharp intake of breath, and she couldn’t mistake the way Aster was looking at her. That surely meant Blair was right, didn’t it?

“You’re overthinking,” Blair cut into Eden’s thoughts unexpectedly.

“I’m not. I’m remembering how nice my life was before I fucked it all up.” Eden downed her glass of wine, wincing as the mediocre taste reached her throat. “Okay, the wine in here is terrible.”

“Mmhmm.”

Eden’s eyes widened as the burn slid down her throat. She looked over at the dance floor; Aster was throwing her head back as she laughed. Eden couldn’t see who she was dancing with, but she would find out sooner rather than later. “Okay, let’s get a shot or two from the bar, and then I’ll be fine.”

“Sure?” Blair got to her feet, dragging Eden up with her.

Eden gripped her best friend’s hands. “Please tell me I’m not making a mistake.”

“I…can’t do that, love.”

Eden nodded. “No, I know. But if she rejects me—”

“She won’t. Everything is going to be fine.”

Eden held her head higher, forcing herself to feel more confident than she did inside. She could do this. And if it did turn out that she’d missed her chance, Aster would be a sweetheart about it. Eden had no doubt about that. “Let’s dance.”

Blair threw her best friend a wink, guiding her towards the bar. Once they’d knocked back a couple of shots, Blair danced her way towards Dom, and Eden was thrilled to see Aster close by.

The music drowned out every thought that whirred through Eden’s mind, but it was absolutely what she needed in the moment. She couldn’t think too much about how she would approach Aster, and she couldn’t dwell on the possibility of being rejected. Nobody ever got anything they wanted in life by panicking, so Eden wouldn’t allow her fears to take over everything else she felt.

Aster made eye contact with her, her deep brown eyes dragging her nearer. She smiled, holding out a hand, and pulled Eden closer. “Thought you two would never make it over here.”

“Discussing some stuff. Sorry.” Eden gave herself a moment to adjust. While she’d spent many a night in a bar or a club, she’d never enjoyed a night out in a place like this.

Aster was into the music here, her hips moving incredibly well. Eden had never seen this side of Aster, not a care in the world, but she loved it. If she could capture this moment and frame it, she would remember the good times. Because as Eden moved ever so slightly closer, she felt her confidence crumbling. She’d never been in a position like this before.

But then Aster grabbed Eden’s hips, pulling their bodies flush as she swayed to the music. One leg landed between Eden’s, and then Aster’s breath tickled her ear as she leaned in closer. “You’re really tense. Loosen up. It’s just me here.”

Oh, Lord. When Aster said things like that, Eden could drag her home and have her way with her. Her heart raced, her hands clammy as she placed them on Aster’s waist. She felt Aster smile against her ear, and then something incoherent followed.

“Hey…” Eden turned her head slightly, and their cheeks pressed together as she inhaled Aster’s scent. A mixture of perfume and whiskey. It was strangely sexy and arousing. “I’m so into you, Aster.”

Aster pulled her head back slightly, their bodies still flush. And then she stopped moving as she frowned. “Sorry, what?”

“You…” Eden smiled, her voice more certain than it had ever been. “You’re so beautiful, Aster. Gorgeous. And to be perfectly honest, I can’t think straight when I’m around you. I just…I’m so into you.” She switched her gaze from Aster’s eyes to her lips, licking and wetting her own. Eden may have been worried before, but the hundred plus people around them faded out, and only Aster remained. Eden leaned in, her eyes focused on soft plump lips. Another fraction of a second, and she would be kissing Aster Bennett.

That was, until Aster turned her head away, blowing Eden off immediately. Her hands left Eden’s hips, one now gently placed against Eden’s shoulder. “N-no.”

Eden’s stomach sank. She was almost certain that if she looked down at the floor, she would find her beating heart at her feet. Not knowing where to look or what to do, she wrapped her arms around herself and took a step back. Her entire body felt weakened, but then the pressure in Eden’s chest reminded her to take a breath. She hadn’t expected to feel so devastated…but she was.

“No. We’re friends. You’re my boss…who isn’t into women.” Aster took a step back, creating more space between them. “And I’m flattered, really, but…no.”

Eden needed to recover. She didn’t know how, she wasn’t sure it was even possible, but she had to hold onto some element of control. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…”

“It’s fine.” Aster shoved her hands in her pockets, confusion in her eyes. “Let’s not make a big deal of it.”

“I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s unprofessional, and you’re right. We’re friends.”

Aster nodded, plastering a beaming smile on her mouth. But that only made things worse. Eden wanted Aster to be smiling for other reasons. “I, uh…I’m going to grab a fresh drink. Can I get you one?”

“No, thank you.” Eden couldn’t stay here a moment longer. She wasn’t pouting, far from it, but she knew she had just humiliated herself for an entire club to see. She looked to her right; Blair and Dom were watching on with bewilderment. She offered her best friend a sad smile, and then cleared her throat as she turned her attention back to Aster. “You enjoy the rest of your night. I’ll see you Monday at ten. Goodnight, Aster.”

Eden spun on her heel and left the dance floor. She heard Blair and Aster calling her name, but the dread she felt rolling through her body was enough to bring tears to her eyes. Perhaps she’d been foolish to think for one moment that someone like Aster would be attracted to her. But then she also knew Aster must be feeling uncertain. When they’d met, Eden had a boyfriend. And before that, a line of men. Never a woman. Not once.

She took her coat from the seat next to Grace, her handbag from the floor, and smiled at Aster’s best friend. “Thanks for a great night. I’m headed home.”

“Oh.” Grace frowned, turning her watch towards her. “It’s only nine.”

“I know, but I’m not feeling well,” Eden lied. She couldn’t contain herself for much longer. Within the next thirty seconds, she would be a sobbing mess. “Would you make sure Aster gets home safely for me?”

“Of course, yeah.” Grace stood, wrapping her arms around Eden. “Thanks for coming tonight. I can’t believe you enjoy our nights out.”

Eden pulled back, holding Grace at arm’s length. “You’re all lovely. But I’m not sure this is my scene, so I’ll see you around. Probably at the football.”

“Goodnight, Eden.” Grace glanced over her shoulder, frowning.

When Eden followed her line of sight, she found Aster, Blair, and Dom all staring back at her. She shrugged her coat on and stepped forward to kiss Blair on the cheek. “I’ll call you through the week.”

“Love, wait.”

“I can’t.” Eden focused on Blair; the tears wouldn’t hold off much longer. “I need to leave.”

“Eden—”

She leaned in closer to her best friend. “You told me this would all be okay. I’ve never felt so stupid in my life. I…I need a few days to myself. I’ll call you when I get the chance.”

And then the embarrassment truly kicked in, her heart beating rapidly as Eden swallowed repeatedly. She needed to shift the lump in her throat.

Before Blair could respond, Eden was stepping out onto the street, the cool air hitting her face. As it did, tears fell down her cheeks, unrelenting as she took a left with no idea where she was going. But one thing was for sure: Aster wasn’t by her side.

* * *

Aster sat at the curb, her hands clasped behind her neck, her head between her legs. The last ten minutes or so had been a complete blur to her, but the one thing she couldn’t get off her mind was the look of complete devastation in Eden’s eyes. Aster hadn’t ever experienced heartbreak, not really, but Eden had shown her what it looked like tonight.

She lifted her head, tears falling freely down her face. How could she be so stupid? How, in any world, could Aster reject Eden? It didn’t make sense. But at the same time, it made total sense.

Aster had been holding everything back, and over the last couple of weeks or so, had been detaching herself from how she felt about Eden. She didn’t want to, and it wasn’t working, but as Eden moved closer tonight…it hit her like a train. The one woman she wanted…wanted her back? Wow.

Had she ruined everything between them by turning Eden down? Had she lost her friendship, her job, and the one woman she spent every waking moment thinking about all in one fell swoop? It certainly felt like it.

She placed her palm against her forehead. How could something so unexpected like this happen? Yes, they’d had a kinda moment in Eden’s apartment earlier, but it hadn’t felt like this was about to happen. Eden…was going to kiss her. Eden…was into her. Eden…had gone. Aster hit her palm against her forehead repeatedly, gritting her teeth. “Stupid, stupid, stupid!”

“Whoa, calm down.” Dom dropped down beside her, wrapping an arm around Aster’s shoulder. “Don’t go hitting yourself.”

And then tears fell hard and fast. Tears Aster didn’t know she was capable of producing. “I’ve fucked everything up.”

“Mate, women are complex. We both know that.”

“But…Eden isn’t.” Aster had never felt so at ease around anyone else before. Okay, she felt a little tense when Eden was close by or when they were alone, but that wasn’t because Eden made her feel that way, it was how Aster chose to deal with her emotions. It was her way of holding everything back.

Their eyes finally met, and then Dom spoke. “So, why did you turn her down then?”

“Panic? Sheer surprise? I don’t know.”

“All perfectly fine in my book, mate.” Dom offered an understanding smile, but it didn’t quell Aster’s fears. “I mean, Blair is like a raging bull in the club, but I’ll deal with her later. She’ll be fine.”

“She hates me.”

“Who?” Dom asked. “Eden or Blair?”

Aster snorted, embarrassment rolling through her. “Both.”

“Blair is protective. And I love that about her. But Eden is old enough to deal with her own relationship problems. And so are you.”

“You should get back inside. Blair will hit the roof if she finds you out here with me. I don’t want to come between anyone.”

“Blair can do as she pleases. She’s seething, yes, but that’s her own fault for putting the idea in Eden’s head that you wouldn’t turn her down.”

Aster furrowed her brow. “What?”

“Eden confessed everything to her several weeks ago. How she felt about you.” Dom looked as though she shouldn’t have revealed that piece of information, but Aster appreciated it. It meant she had something to work with. Didn’t she? “I did try to tell you when you came over for dinner. Eden wanted to do it in her own time, which I completely understand, but you were upset.”

“How long ago was this?”

Dom blew out a deep breath, her eyes wide. “Maybe a month ago?”

“Before or after the dinner party?” Aster needed to get this all straight in her head. “That she told Blair how she felt?”

“Before. Definitely before.”

“So that’s why the team wasn’t invited but me and Eden were? We were Blair’s little experiment?”

“No, it wasn’t like that.” Dom held up a hand. “And I’d appreciate it if you didn’t insinuate that my fiancée is causing trouble. Blair wants the best for Eden. She thought that was you.”

Aster’s stomach lurched. Blair had been playing matchmaker without telling her that her straight boss was into her. She could have at least given Aster the heads up. After all, Blair knew exactly how Aster felt. “Where is she?”

“Who?”

“Blair.”

Dom stood, wiping the back of her jeans. “She’s inside, but I wouldn’t approach her. It won’t be pleasant.”

“Nope. That doesn’t work for me. I want to speak to her.”

And then Blair landed on the pavement outside the club, her eyes filled with anger. “Are you out of your mind? I mean, that was your chance. You…you turned her down. Are you fucking stupid?” Blair raged. “And don’t dare tell me you don’t want her. Anyone within a ten-mile radius can see it!”

“I didn’t say I didn’t want her.”

“You didn’t have to. I think she got that memo.”

“Did you not think that it would have been a good idea to tell me?” Aster’s entire body shook, the city around her slowing. Dulled. “What was I supposed to do? You told me she was straight!”

“I also told you not to hurt her! But here we are.”

Aster’s forehead creased. “Don’t dare stand there and yell at me. You’re the one who fucking caused this.”

“Alright. Now wait a minute,” Dom cut in.

“I’ve spent the best part of two months trying to get her off my mind. I wanted to do the right thing. I thought she was straight, and when I met her, she had a boyfriend. I knew she wasn’t happy, and even though I wanted her to be happy with me, I had no right to go in there all guns blazing. Because she’s my boss and now my friend.” Aster took a breath, tears falling down her face. “You two have no idea how I fucking feel. You don’t know how hard it is to walk into work every morning and see her gorgeous face. You don’t know how much I desperately want to see her each night when I go home alone. Neither of you have a fucking clue. And the reason you don’t is because it’s not your business.”

Blair opened her mouth to speak, sighing as she fell short of any words.

“The times I’ve wanted her to know how I feel are too many to count. I’ve sat at home begging myself to pick up the phone and call her, so I could be honest. I was even willing to tell her how I felt so she could decide if she still wanted me to work with her, because deep down, I knew I couldn’t hold all of this in forever. But this is all a mess now, and while we’re standing here arguing about who is right and who is wrong…Eden is home, alone.”

Blair offered a sheepish smile. “So what are you going to do about it?”

“I don’t know.” Aster sobbed into her hands, immediately enveloped by more than one pair of arms. “I don’t want her to be sad, and I never meant to make her feel this way, but I didn’t expect any of this tonight. You have to understand that.”

“I do,” Blair spoke quietly. “I’m sorry.”

“I-I was getting over the idea,” Aster whispered, her stomach continuously somersaulting. “I was trying to stop looking at her as though she could be mine.”

“Aster, you have to go to her.”

“I can’t. You didn’t see the look in her eyes when I pushed her away. She just…God, I’ve hurt her. I never wanted to hurt her.” Aster’s emotions overwhelmed her, her knees almost giving out. “Blair, I’ve fucked up.”

“No. I have.” Blair sighed. “I should have told you. Eden asked me not to, but I should have. Then none of this would have happened.”

Aster’s head spun. This night could have been ending differently. God, she could have been in Eden’s arms right now.

Don’t torture yourself.

“Could you give me some space to figure it all out myself?” Aster wouldn’t usually ask that of someone, but this meddling had been going on behind her back, and it wasn’t okay. “I need some time. I need to maybe leave the city and visit my dad for a while. I’m pretty sure I’m the last person Eden wants to see anyway.”

“If you turned up at her door right now, I know she’d see you.”

“But I can’t do that. I have too much to work through in my head. I’ve spent every moment since I met her pushing down how I feel. You can’t expect me to throw it all away because you told her to kiss me.”

“I didn’t tell her to kiss you. She said she was going to tell you how she felt. Anything that happened afterwards is down to Eden.”

“Still, I need to be alone right now. I mean, how do I know I’m not some experiment to her? How can I be sure that she’ll still be here three months down the line?”

“She will be…” Blair eyed Aster.

“Maybe. Maybe not.” Aster held her thumb out as a hackney cab approached. She only lived ten minutes away, but she didn’t have the energy to walk tonight. “Please, mind your own business in future. The mess you’ve created is one I now have to fix.” Aster climbed into the cab, not bothering to say goodbye to the team. Really, they were the last thing on her mind. And Grace, the one who mattered, would understand.

Oh, Eden. Why didn’t you give me a hint of how you felt before now?