Vicious Desire by Leslie V. Walker
Chapter Fifteen
Ayanna
The days leading up to the dance have been peaceful but filled with tension. I’ve been left alone except for whenever Rocco would call or text me, mostly around three in the morning high off his ass.
Then there’s Neo who’s decided to sit right next to me for lunch every day talking now and then but mostly with Michael who surprise, surprise is his closest friends. I’m not sure what happened between him and Brendan, but last time I checked they were off terms after Monday. And because I believe they already have something on him but just never disclosed it to me.
I’m not sure what they did with the files, I know the one I took of Neo is sitting on my bookshelf waiting to be open. I’ve been hesitant to open it lately fearing something bad must be inside. Don’t know what but it’s just this feeling.
And the thought of it including who was in the clocktower consumed me. There are people hiding in every corner of this town getting by with awful things. Something tells me this town carries thousands of secrets including a few murders.
To make matters worse, I still have yet to finish my Stephen King novel, or a few assignments, due next week. And the principal is bugging me about the Valedictorian speech. The number of times I almost yelled at him to leave me alone because I just didn’t care anymore.
I never cared for being number one in my class or getting into the top school in the country. It was all my parents wanted for me and no matter how much I loved my mom to make her happy I knew she’d accept anything I wanted as long as I was happy.
I still have yet to choose the college I want to go to but has Jason reassured me to take my time since deadlines aren’t for three to two months. I was planning on going to Columbia but now I’m not so sure. It’s like something is holding me back here. Not just me.
Those weren’t the only thoughts consuming me. The kiss with Brendan left me breathless has been playing non-stop on repeat and every time I felt my core tighten. I hate to admit it but there was this sadness deep inside of me when he brushed me off on not heading with him to the dance. I wish he’d confront me and demand me to go with him while his hands would touch me and his lips...
A knock comes from behind my door, but I don’t even bother to look up from staring blankly at the TV that’s playing the Shining. My mom walks in with the biggest smile on her face despite the left-over bruises on her face and arms.
When my eyes catch her light brown ones, she smiles wide before closing the door and coming to sit next to me. I sit up resting my back against the headboard and placing the controller on my nightstand but not before muting it. My bedroom is quite plain, despite the Stephen King posters all over the wall and a bookshelf to the right.
“Hey, sweetie. How’s it going?” she asks, her hand coming to push a string of hair behind my ear. I throw her a big smile, but it only manages to come out small.
She smiles back at me moving in closer to hug me toward her chest as she wraps her arms around me, I do the same, taking in her sweet scent that always makes me feel at home. Even though I’ve lived here for so long my home was always her and her hugs are what’s always needed when I’m feeling down.
“What’s going on sweetie? Talk to me.” I rest my head on her shoulder letting out a heavy sigh. How am I supposed to explain to her what’s going on if I don’t even know myself? How can I explain to her I want Brendan Carter but am not sure if it’s real or not?
After what happened I’m scared to take the next step.
He has to take the next step. It’s the only way I’ll know this is serious and not just one of his games.
I slowly go back to my spot and turn to face her, “Nothing. I’m just worried about you.”
She shakes her head, sighing deeply, pulling her peach cardigan tighter to her body. “Don’t worry about your father. He’s losing it. And you should only be doing what you want to do. Be who you are and love yourself. Don’t worry about others but yourself because at the end it’s your life. Live it fully and let me worry about him.”
“I’m tired of him. I won’t be able to take anymore, and I fear he’ll take it out on you.” My hands tremble lightly but she palms them bringing them to her lips.
“You’re my kid. Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.”
A small smile spreads at my lips and I shake my head for the tears to go away. There’s just four hours until the dance and I have yet to get ready. I should’ve canceled when I had the chance, but I didn’t want to give Brendan a chance to say something.
“Mom, would you like to help me get ready for the dance?”
“I would love to sweetie.” She gets up and does a little happy dance ask I point to where my dress is.
Getting off the bed I start to gather my things for a bath. She gasps lifting the dress to get a better view of it. “This is gorgeous.”
Yeah, I know.
I ignore the way my heart flutters at the reminder that I’ll be wearing his favorite choice of outfit and head to get ready for tonight.