Vicious Desire by Leslie V. Walker

Chapter Thirteen

Ayanna

The pain of having to wake up at five in the morning and get ready for work while not having a single ounce of sleep is excruciating. I didn’t get home until twenty to three in the morning, took close to thirty minutes of blasting Jason on the phone to come pick up.

I couldn’t believe they just left me there, after putting myself on the line. If he thinks he has one on me for this Saturday or any other day, then he has another thing coming.

Thank God it’s Sunday though and we close early. Despite us being a bookstore, we got our fair chair of clients, including tourists who weirdly end up in the middle of our small town.

This morning as I went to get some caffeine inside of me, I was nagged by my dad, who wouldn’t stop asking me questions a mile a minute. I didn’t understand what his problem was, but he looked almost scared to death and angry I disobeyed him, which he let be known when I saw my mom sleeping on the sofa, which she does only when things go bad.

I burst into tears when I saw her face all bruised and red. Her left eye was this bluish purple, and her lips were busted in that not even the amount of makeup she applied would help. Which was what he wanted, my mom wouldn’t dare to leave the house looking like a wrecking ball, meaning she’ll stay put.

When it dawned at me, I was scared he’d do the same thing to me, so I rushed out of there with heavy guilt. I hate leaving my mom behind, but I can tell by the way his eyes plead with me that she didn’t want me anywhere near the house.

So now I’m here at work counting down the hours till closing. My eyes burn to stay open as I watch a little girl looking at the display of superhero comics. She tries to grab one all the way at the top shelf, but being too small, she nudges her dad just a couple feet away from her. Tall and muscular with a couple of tattoos, he bends down to grab a hold of her by the waist then lifts her up so she can grab it on her own.

A giggle leaves her, and I smile at the sight wondering what it feels like.

People are so lucky to have wonderful parents and they take advantage of it, not realizing what others have to go to in a daily basis.

I push off my chair to get ready to check in the pile of new books just delivered. I sigh at the thought of being behind in reading. I’ve had a weakly scheduled before on my top three hundred books to read before I die. Currently I’m on book sixty-eight, stuck on reading’s Stephen King novel The Stand. It’s about a pandemic of a weaponized spread of influenza that kills almost half of the entire world’s population.

It’s a great book, but I’ve been so busy fucking over my thoughts. I haven’t even had time to watch the Office lately and I think I’m about to lose it… like completely.

“Everything okay, dear?” Elga’s soft voice cuts through my thoughts and I blink up looking at her as she comes with more boxes of full of new books, she ordered to restack just in time for the holidays rolling in.

The store always gets busy when the holidays come around and people start to stock up on books for a present for their loved ones.

Elga places the box next to me and I open it ready to start placing them in the system. I’ve told Elga we should hire at least one more person so they can help carry the heavier boxes either of us can’t handle alone. But she insists she could do it herself saying she already has to pay me and does not want to waste more money on someone else when she can just do it herself.

I tried helping her one day and I tripped over my own feet and sent the box flying across the room. Let’s just say since then she hasn’t let me help her carry any because she says I’m too young to die and too weak to do the work. I do still sneak back here and there to help her out when she’s not looking. I do work here after all.

At sixty-four, Elga, is stronger than me you can say. I love the way she carries herself as if the world is just another stop to her destination of finding her place.

“Yeah,” I nod opening the box and taking out the books to place them in a much easier order by genre and author.

“Really? Because you’ve been staring at the poor fella over there for about twenty minutes and he’s starting to freak out,” she points to a guy who must be in his late twenties sitting at a small table in the middle of the store trying to read a book but is staring at me like I’m a psychopath. His eyes are wide as he slowly packs his things watching me carefully as if I were to pounce on him.

I didn’t even know I was staring. I give him a soft smile that has him putting his books away and rushing to stand quickly before walking out the story, he mutters under his breathe, “Freak.” I let out a heavy sigh rolling my eyes as I mentally flip him off. The chair beside me scrapes and Elga sits down staring at me.

“What’s going on? You can talk to me; you know I’m here for you. Always.” Her sweet words warm my insides and I sit back down, stopping what I’m doing and grab her soft hands onto mine, turning to face her.

“Of course, Elga. It’s just some silly stuff nothing to worry about.” I keep my eyes on our interwind hands because I know if I meet her gray ones, I won’t be able to lie straight to her face. It’s the affect she has on people.

“Your lying dear, I can tell. You’ve been working here for more than three years. I know you.” I hate it when she’s right. But I don’t feel comfortable talking to anyone about this.

God, I want to punch someone. Because of the way I’m acting now I sort of want to punch the guy who called me a freak. I’m pretty sure he hasn’t gotten as far.

“Is this about that boy?”

My head snaps up my brows furrowed, “What boy?” She plays off a laugh shaking her head.

“People talk, Ayanna. They’ve seen you around with him.” Shit. “You know who I’m talking about, that strong, handsome, charming guy,” she pushes her shoulder back up straight trying to recreate how big he is and continues, “the sharp jaw. Model type guy.” She wiggles her eyebrows and I swear I want to die right now.

A chuckle comes from my left and I turn my head tossing a glare at Jason who has been here for about two hours finishing his essay for school. He shakes his head putting his hands up when he meets my glare.

Doesn’t matter how many times he saves me, he always loves to annoy me every change he gets.

“Ah, so what’s this sweet guy’s name?”

“He’s no one and he’s not sweet.”

“Brendan Carter,” Jason says at the same time.

I swear I’m going to punch him.

“Brendan Carter, you say?” I nod.

She looks away her eyes in deep thought, “You know him?” I ask.

Elga shakes her head, “No. But I knew his parents.” Air lodges at my throat at the mention of his parents.

The sweet couple everyone loved and adored. They were high school sweethearts that were met with an unfair fate years ago.

“They were lovely people. Always wanting the best for not only their kids but this town as well. It’s a shame how people could be so cruel.”

“People? They suffered a plane crash because of the weather.” They said the weather was bad the night the plane crashed making the pilot lose control.

“Oh, there’s so much more. None of those boys’ parents had it easy. It was dark times. No one knew what would happen next until something snapped. Or someone.” What is she talking about? Dark times?

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, Ayanna. No one speaks about what happened anymore. It’s in the past and if anyone hears it being brought up it can end badly for all of us.”

What?She must see my confused expression because she shrugs her shoulders telling me not to worry about it and says, “I’ve only met Brendan and his sister when they were young. Don’t think they remember me but they’re sweet kids. He’s a sweet kid.”

Yeah, no.

Elga gives me a look before standing up, “Remember you close up today.”

I nod. “I know.”

I sigh looking out the window to where to the town’s clocktower is. Since I can remember, the clock tower has been closed and left abandoned, but I see a figure or two there.

No one is allowed up there.

“Are you good?” Jason says taking my attention. His eyes are soft, and I know he’s worried about me. I can’t help but give him a small smile and nod, “Are you? You have dark circles.”

“Yeah, all this College stuff has me going quite insane.” He runs a hand through his hair leaning down at the counter.

“Harvard is a huge step. You sure it’s what you want to do?”

“It wouldn’t be so bad. It’s been the goal since the beginning. And I’m not about to change that for what’s to come.” The words fly from his lips speak different than the ones that can be seen in his eyes. “I’m asking what you want Jason not what your parents want.”

He sighs standing up straight, “You have to stop doing what they want and start doing whatever the fuck you want.” His eyes widen and a smile spreads at his lips.

“I should be saying that to you instead.” I roll my eyes. Jason draws in a breath and moves to ruffle my hair like a baby. “I’ll talk to you later girl.”

I stay there for a minute or two thinking away until I finally conclude what I want for myself.

I smile. Yeah, I’m done doing shit for people who doesn’t deserve it.