Big Boy by Skyler Snow
Day: Tuesday
Time: 5:00 pm
Breakfast: Eggs and toast
Lunch: Zucchini pasta (not bad!)
Dinner: Nothing...
I couldn't shakethe joy that filled my chest when I thought about Samuel. How cute had it been when he was embarrassed about playing games? Not that he should be and his co-worker was definitely a dick for judging him, but he’d been so bashful and sweet. I had wanted to defend him and tell that guy off. What was so wrong about someone enjoying the things they liked?
Glancing down at the piece of paper in my hand, I smiled. Samuel had given me his gamer tag. We were going to meet up in a few hours and actually play together. My stomach knotted in anxious anticipation. I clutched it and bit my lip.
This is my ideal date.
Date? I quickly scolded myself. This wasn't a date by any definition of the word. It had been way too long since I'd been asked out by anyone or gone anywhere with someone other than my friends. I missed all those first date jitters, the butterflies, the beauty of the unknown. Would the date be the best thing ever or completely disastrous?
I bet with Samuel it would be amazing.
He was a gentleman and he had a way of making me feel like life wasn't nearly as shitty as I liked to believe. Maybe it was the way he smiled at me. As soon as the edges of his lips tugged up and I caught a glimpse of his white teeth I felt my heart speed out of control.
God, did I really have a crush on my personal trainer? I was so damn cliche. I made my way into the bathroom after laying the paper with his player tag on my coffee table carefully. Once I was out of my clothes, I flipped on the shower. As it steamed up my bathroom my mind drifted to Samuel that day I'd spotted him in the locker room. Every inch of warm, brown skin on display, all of his muscles rippling and strong, his cock heavy between his thighs.
Ah, man. I'm a fucking pervert. What is wrong with me?
I stepped into the shower and sighed as the heat seeped into my skin and soothed my aching muscles. Samuel really knew how to put me through a rigorous workout. I had caught my breath a long time ago, but my body was still screaming. I would kill for a massage.
Samuel flashed in my mind, his hands working my sore muscles as he told me how good of a job I'd done. I could hear his voice praising me now, deep and velvety against my ear as he stroked my skin and called me a good boy. Samuel had serious Daddy vibes and it was so unfair. Why couldn't I have a guy like that be into me? Wanting me? Touching me? Loving only me?
I closed my eyes and ran my fingers up and down my chest. My nipples tingled with electricity as I brushed over them and they hardened. Instantly my cock twitched and I groaned as I traced down to it. As soon as I touched myself I held my breath and thought about Samuel touching me instead. Would he wrap his hand around my cock and squeeze? Or would he touch me everywhere else first, leaving me on the edge as I panted and begged for more?
God, I hoped it was the latter. I wanted his hand to tease and taunt me, for him to have that same sunny smile on his face as he made me squirm for him. And I would. Every whimper and plea would only fuel him more and he would call me his good boy as he pushed me closer and closer to the edge.
My hand squeezed around my cock and I groaned as I stroked it lazily. Reaching over to the shelf, I plucked up a bottle of body wash and poured some into my palm before I wrapped it around my length once more. Now slicked and wet, my hand slid over the hot flesh of my cock more easily as I leaned my head against the shower wall and gave in to the fantasy of Samuel wanting me.
It was easy to imagine him standing behind me, his hard body pressed up against mine. His breath would ghost over my ear sending a shiver straight down my spine until my toes curled with desire. Maybe his teeth would graze my shoulder, his fingers would trail down my throat. And I would be taken apart while I moaned his name.
"Ah, Daddy," I groaned as my balls tightened and throbbed. "Fuck me, Daddy."
The word Daddy slipped out, but it felt right. I reached between my legs and brushed my fingers over my throbbing hole. As they pressed against it, I sucked in a breath and wiggled one inside of me. The soap helped ease my passage and I cried out when I slid inside deeper. My other hand worked overtime, stroking and squeezing my cock as I imagined Samuel's hands on my hips as he slammed inside of me wildly. He would alternate between long and slow and fast and hard until I was dizzy with pleasure and couldn't think straight anymore.
My entire body was swept with heat from head to toe. I felt like I was going to melt if I thought about him for another minute, but I couldn't stop. Samuel was the type of man that I dreamed about. Sweet, strong, smart, kind. And he never judged me. He encouraged everything I did and it felt as if I could accomplish anything I wanted when he supported me.
"Daddy, please. I need more," I groaned out as I rolled my hips and pressed in deeper, wishing it was his cock spreading me open instead. "I need you."
A Daddy like that was a rare find. He probably had no interest in anything like that, but he would be a natural. The way he carried and presented himself as a leader, someone you could trust, was rare. I couldn't stand most people, truth be told, but Samuel was something different.
He was special.
I held my breath as my body tensed before I groaned and released every bit of pent-up desire that had been idling for days. Cum splashed onto my hand and dripped onto the shower floor as I panted and opened my eyes.
Shit, had I really just gotten off while I was thinking about Samuel? The realization of what I'd done dawned on me and my cheeks heated with the reality of the situation. I was a pervert. I couldn’t believe I’d cum to some wild fantasy about writhing on Sam’s cock and calling him Daddy!
My cheeks burned from the embarrassment of it all. No one was around and no one knew, but I suddenly felt very foolish. I quickly washed my hands and showered off the sweat and grime of the day before I stepped out and dried off. I tugged on a pair of shorts and wandered into the kitchen as I thought about Samuel.
"Shit." I stared down at his gamer tag as it sat on the table.
In a few hours, he was going to log on and want to talk to me. Yeah, because he thinks you two are friends. Not that you're jerking off to the thought of him.
My stomach tightened. What the hell had I been thinking? It's not like Samuel would ever want me that way. He was hot, strong, in shape, and I was...
I reached down and touched my burgeoning belly before I lifted and dropped it. The heavy slap of skin against skin made me cringe. Yeah, Samuel would really want to fuck me when he had to lift my stomach to reach my cock and touch all of my hairy blubber.
What the fuck was wrong with me?
I walked away from the table and yanked open the fridge door rattling the collection of condiment bottles in the doorway. Staring into the abyss of my refrigerator, I couldn’t stop berating myself. I was a disgusting pig. My brain continued to scream it at me as I straightened up and slammed the fridge door.
Nothing in there would do. I had cleaned my fridge out and stocked it with fresh fruits and vegetables but now I was craving everything I shouldn't have. The biggest, juiciest burgers, fried chicken, mashed potatoes smothered in gravy, fries, sausages, and lots of pie topped with ice cream and rich whipped cream for dessert.
Grabbing a shirt out of my dresser, I tugged it on and stormed out of the front door. A good meal would bring me comfort. I wouldn't go overboard, but I needed something to wrap its arm around me and give me a warm hug. When I felt this broken and lost, the only thing that gave me solace was food because I sure as shit wasn’t going to get that comfort from a human.
I groanedas I straightened up and slammed the handle down on the toilet. Once the contents of my idiotic binge were washed away, I trudged over to the sink and stared at myself in the mirror. My skin was pale, a fine sheen of sweat dotting my forehead and upper lip. I looked like shit, but it was better than how I felt.
I opened the medicine cabinet so I no longer had to look at my reflection and yanked out my toothbrush and tube of toothpaste. Things had been going so well. After months of my last binge and purge attack, I thought that I had grown, gotten better. But I should have known there was no cure for a lifelong addiction. Things only got better for a little while before they were destroyed.
Washing my hands and face helped me feel better, but the cloud of guilt and shame that hung over my head was suffocating. I'd fucked up. Again. I gripped the edge of the sink until my fingers ached and my palms throbbed. Stupid. I was so fucking stupid.
I felt the wet, hot rush of tears that slid down my face and I choked back a sob. This was a spiral I didn't want to fall into, but it was too late for that. I closed the medicine cabinet but refused to look at my reflection again. Instead, I walked into the living room and paused.
Shit. Shit. Shit!
Looking at the time I saw that it was well after seven. We were supposed to log on and add each other before we started playing. My own group was probably waiting for me so we could get in some gaming time, but I was frozen to the spot. My hand shook as I reached out and snagged the remote to the game. I sat down and turned it on. As it booted my heart thudded in my chest and I prayed he hadn't messaged me.
SlayerSam: Hey, you online?
SlayerSam: I'm about to log on and give this a go. Are you coming?
SlayerSam: Carter?
I stared at the messages and swallowed thickly, my throat so tight I could barely breathe. What would he think when he started playing and I never joined him? Hell, did he even really want me to be online with him?
No, he doesn't. I’m a delusional idiot. Who the fuck would want to be around me?
He was being nice. Samuel pitied me. There was no way I was anything more than a stranger and he was only doing his job.
But I couldn't stop thinking about his smile. Or the softness in his voice. The kind, gentle way he touched me when he wanted to reposition me as we worked out. Or the way he encouraged whatever I wanted to do.
Every vile obscenity that my brain could scream at me, it did. I shut off the system and tossed the remote onto the couch as if it was a venomous snake waiting to strike. No, I couldn't face him. I couldn't talk to him.
I left the living room after turning off all of the lights and made my way into my room. Flopping onto the bed, I picked up my phone and thought about calling someone to talk to. But who could I tell? No one knew what I struggled with. They didn't need to know. All it would do was make them worry and I didn't want to do that.
I shoved the phone underneath my pillow and stared into the dark abyss around me. Damn, I had never felt so alone. The world felt like it was going to close in on me. I gripped my pillow tightly and turned my head, burying it into the soft fabric of its case.
Once more I felt the tears race and I tried to hold them back. But the dam burst and I sobbed like I was a child again. I couldn't stop shaking. There was no way in hell that I could go back to the gym now. I wouldn't allow Samuel to see me like this because even if I composed myself and took a deep breath and tried to go in tomorrow, he would be able to see right through me. And I couldn't tell him that I had failed so catastrophically.
I yanked the blanket up around my shoulders and closed my eyes. Maybe if I slept I would feel better, but somehow I was sure that wouldn't be the case. Alone in the cool darkness of my room, I wished there was someone to hold me. I wanted to feel warm arms wrapped around my body, soft lips pressed against the nape of my neck, sweet words whispered into my ear telling me the one thing I needed to hear right now.
Everything is going to be okay.