Big Boy by Skyler Snow

Naomi was chattering awayas she leaned on the counter, but I had no idea what she was talking about. Something about her girlfriend maybe? I had no clue. I lectured myself that I was being rude, butI couldn't force myself to focus.

Not when Carter was on my mind.

He had been doing well lately. Every time we met up it seemed like a little bit of concern had been lifted off of his shoulders. I thought he was making the progress that he needed to make as far as getting his stamina back and learning more about eating healthy. So why had he suddenly disappeared?

Maybe he got a job. I know he was looking for one. He could have gotten lucky and found something that fits him perfectly and doesn’t have time to work out.

I wanted to laugh at my own delusional line of reasoning. For two weeks? Even if he had started working, he could have gotten settled in and been back by now. So, what was keeping him?

"Um, you are not even listening," Naomi said, rolling her eyes as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Is this about Carter?"

My heart sped up. "Yeah, I guess it is." I rubbed the back of my neck. "He hasn't come in and we never exchanged numbers."

"You didn't?" Naomi tilted her head. "Why not?"

"I guess because I thought he would come back. The first time he came in he was in a bad mood. I figured he was going to disappear and never come back. But then he kept coming and I kept forgetting and assuming I was going to see him again."

"And now you miss him?" She grinned. "Is that it?"

I rolled my eyes at her. "No, I'm worried about him. Carter has been coming around frequently and for him to just disappear is strange. What if something happened? I can't stop thinking he's sick or had an accident or-"

"Or he just didn't want to come to the gym," she pointed out. "Come on, you know how it is. Sometimes when you start working out it's all fun and games, but people drop out about as quickly as they get going."

I nodded. Everything Naomi was saying made sense, but at the same time I still felt as if Carter wouldn't do that. He had really started to show his determination the longer he came and I loved that about him.

"Don't look so down," Naomi said as she reached out and patted me on the arm. "Seriously, I know you have a thing for him and all, but he'll come back around."

I shook her off. "I don't have a thing for him."

"You do, but whatever you say hon." Naomi popped back behind the desk and typed in her password. "There's no shame in it of course. Hey, I think you two would make a cute couple for what it's worth."

"Anyone ever tell you that you're nosey as hell?"

"Yep!" she piped up and gave me a huge grin. "But I'm used to it." Her fingers flew over the keys and I watched in semi-awe as she worked through each screen. "Well, I hope he comes back around."

"You and me both," I muttered.

But I didn't have a lot of faith that was going to happen. If anything it seemed as if I would never see him again. The thought of that made my heart ache. I should have said something a lot sooner, should have let him know that every time he walked into a room, I forgot how to do anything but stare at him.

Carter made me want to have a boy again. Someone soft and sweet that needed help and guidance. He looked tough on the outside, but I could see those cracks that formed in the formidable wall he put up and I knew there was more underneath the surface. Carter needed someone to give him encouraging words and lift him from the pit of despair he lived in.

I wanted to be that person.

"Hey, it's me. What's up? What?" Naomi stood up and held her phone away from her as she whispered to me. "It's Cassie. Can you watch the front desk?"

"Yeah, I've got it."

She patted me on the arm and I watched her go. The gym was slow and I glanced around the empty space until an idea popped into my head. I could always check the computer. All of our clients' information was stored in the system. Maybe I could get Carter's phone number and see if he was okay.

No way. Don't be a damn creep. Besides that being super unethical, I would look like a stalker. What am I even thinking?

I was concerned about him, but that wasn't the way to go. Something about Carter drew me to him. I wanted to make sure he was okay. That he was safe. Why? It wasn't as if I ever got this close to my other clients. But I felt compelled to go to him and make sure that he was okay.

Or was I just lonely?

That was a possibility. I hadn't had a boy in a long time after all. And the clubs were comfortable, but I couldn't make a personal connection there. Everyone looked great and was nice, but how could I want any of them when I didn't know them?

"Thanks for watching for me," Naomi said as she rounded the counter and logged onto the computer.

"Yeah, no problem. Everything okay with Cas?"

"She's fine," Naomi waved. "Are you? It looks like you're about to explode."

"I think I need a good workout, that's all. Gonna hit the weights and see how that does me."

She nodded. "It usually calms you down. Hey, if you need anything tell me, okay?"

"Sure. I'll see you later."

I walked off with my thoughts still heavily on Carter. What was it about him that made me want to see him again? I thought about him smiling after being such a grump and my heart did funny things in my chest. There was so much more to get to know about him. But was I going to see him again?

The treadmill warmed me up and then I moved onto the weights. I put my all into my exercise, pushing everything out of my mind but burning off that pressure that felt like it was lodged in my chest. The one that made it hard to think or breathe. Every new bit of weight added helped until my mind felt at peace.

Of course all of that changed when I was done. I showered and all of my previous thoughts came flooding back. My body was pleasantly sore and buzzing thankfully, but I was still down. Instead of going home I decided to get myself a rare treat. Frozen yogurt. It was one of my favorite things in the world and I was craving some now so I could have a bit of comfort.

"Hey, Sam!"

I glanced up pulling myself out of my thoughts only to face Andy. Right away, I smiled. Andy was a handful and a half, but we had been friends for years now. I loved him and his husband almost equally.

"Long time no see." I walked over to where he stood in the back of the line. "You've been busy."

"As hell. Jack and I are renovating another house and it is a disaster. Honestly, I don't know how we haven't murdered each other yet."

I chuckled. "You two work great together, that's how. What are you doing here now?"

"This shop is right around the corner from a client's place I'm going to help design. I remembered coming here all of the time so I decided why not pop in and grab something before I have to get back on the road. Want to join me?"

When I first left the gym I was certain I wanted to be on my own, but standing there with Andy, I had never wanted company so badly in my life. At least it would take my mind off of Carter and I would be able to focus on something else.

"You know what? Why not? I wasn't going to do anything but sit around and mope on my own."

"Why mope?" Andy asked.

I shifted from foot to foot. "I'm having a crisis." I laughed lightly, but it held very little humor. "I think I have a thing for one of my clients."

Andy's eyes widened. "Oh? Do spill." He grinned. "Tell me everything and don't leave out a single detail."

"Don't get so excited," I laughed. "Come on. I'm being serious."

He waved a hand. "I know. You always are. Come on, tell me everything and I'm sure we can figure it out together."

Seeing Andy again after so long felt natural. It was like we hadn't gone a day without being around each other and I loved that about our relationship. We picked up our frozen yogurt from the counter- his vanilla with chocolate syrup and mine strawberry- before we found a cozy little spot at a table near the doors and sat down.

Maybe if I got everything off of my chest, I could move on. There was no point obsessing over something that was never going to happen.