Big Boy by Skyler Snow

I watchedCarter leave and I wanted to go after him. But he clearly was trying to get away from me as quickly as possible. Once he turned the corner and disappeared from sight, I sighed.

Where is he in a hurry to?

"Was that him?" Andy gasped. "What a hottie! Seriously, that beard alone is to die for."

"I know right?" I grinned at him. "And I'm pretty sure he doesn't see how amazing he is."

"Poor thing." Andy's smile slipped and he shook his head. "You sure you don't want to go after him and tell him that? Sometimes people need to hear from someone that they're desirable."

Yeah, he was right about that. No matter how someone looked to the rest of the world, most times I found they still needed reassurance. I did.

"I'll let him be for now. I don't want to come across as a creeper. But I'm glad he's okay so at least I don't have to worry that he's sick or something."

"Just that he's ducking you."

"Yeah, I'm still worried about that." I shook my head and glanced back at Andy. "I should get going. Tell Jack I said hello?"

"Of course! And you go and talk to that man. Seriously, I can see how much you like him. Don't let him slip away."

Andy and I parted ways, but his words stayed in my head. He was right. I didn't want to let Carter disappear because I was too afraid to say anything. But I didn't want to scare him off either.

People seemed to think just because I was in shape that I was confident, but that wasn't the case at all. Not when it came to talking to people I might want to pursue something with. Every time I thought about Carter, my heart raced and my stomach knotted. And there was no way I could control that, believe me, I'd tried.

I decided to leave my car at the gym and walk the rest of the way home. The evenings were starting to grow chilly and I loved the brisk coolness against my hot skin as the sun started to fade and colors burst in the sky. It eased my mind walking and taking in the sights around me. There was nothing better than nature.

"I'm home!" I called.

The jingling and tapping started and I grinned. When I turned around there were my wiggling, panting, barking babies. Salt hopped over Pepa and crashed into my leg in her eagerness to get to me. Laughing, I scooped her up and pet her soft head.

"Hey, don't jump over your brother like that." I reached down and gave Pepa the attention that he needed. "Hi there buddy. You two ready for a walk? Walkies?"

Their loud barks confirmed they were indeed ready to stretch their legs. I leashed them both and took them out. My dogs were some of the only company that I had these days. As much as I loved my friends, they were always busy, moving on with their lives and settling down. I didn't even have a family to occupy myself with. Besides my mother, I was alone. And as much as I loved her I wanted to strangle her most times. When she wasn't off on exotic vacations, the woman was entirely too nosey.

We walked back into the house and I turned my dogs loose. They scattered to their water and food bowls while I shuffled through the mail. Finding nothing of import, I tossed it on the bar to throw out later before I walked over to the couch and plopped down on it.

My game system was calling to me. I turned it on and immediately checked my messages. Nothing. No Carter. Groaning, I lectured myself about my unhealthy fixation. But that didn't stop me from sending him a quick message anyway.

SlayerSam: Hey, making sure you got home okay. If you want to play I'll be on for a while tonight. Join me if you want.

I looked over the message before I shut my eyes and jabbed the x button. Once it sent, I opened them and groaned. Seriously, how was I so awkward? I wanted to take the message back, but it was already too late.

"Alright, I think I've made enough of an ass of myself today don't you, Pepa?"

He tilted his head at me and I laughed. Was that his way of saying he wasn't surprised at my bullshit? I scrolled through my available games looking for something to take my mind off of the day. StarBattle was right there, ready to play, but I didn't feel like going on if no one else was around. Or if Carter wasn't on.

I chose a different game. Something single player that would draw me into it and wouldn't let me go. Fantasy games were my next favorite genre so I would work on that instead. Leaning back into the couch, I started it up and stared at the screen as the epic music swelled, projected into my apartment by the soundbar.

Slaying dragons and joining a thieves guild kept me busy. I was just about to embark on my next big quest when a message popped up in the upper right hand of my screen.

KillSwitchCart: Are you online?

I stared at the screen as if it was written in Latin. Carter had actually messaged me? I exited the game and went to stare at the message in my inbox. Nope, I hadn't hallucinated it. I quickly tapped on it and stared at the blank space where I was supposed to respond. Damn. I didn't want to sound too eager like a child in a candy store, but I was practically bouncing on the spot since I got to talk to him.

SlayerSam: Yeah, I'm on. Want to play something?

KillSwitchCart: StarBattle?

SlayerSam: Let's go!

I smiled as I booted up the game and made sure we were friends. Whatever he was going through, he seemed okay at least. I wanted to ask more about what was going on with him, but it didn't feel like I should. If he wasn't bringing anything up, neither should I.

We logged on and I stared at the screen as our party joined up with us. I wondered if they were Carter's friends. He'd mentioned that he usually played with a group. Whether they were or not, I was happy to have the company. Finally, someone to play alongside so I wouldn't end up getting killed a hundred times.

KillSwitchCart: Ready to go?

SlayerSam: All set.

Carter's friends were finishing up their load outs and I started to hear them chat. But Carter's voice wasn't alongside the rest of theirs.

SlayerSam: Are you going to be on your headset?

KillSwitchCart: I can. Are you?

SlayerSam: Sure, let me grab them.

I practically threw myself over the arm of the couch trying to grab them. Once I pulled them out of the box I kept beside my couch, I plugged them into my headset.

"This is Sam everyone," Carter's voice filled my ears. "Say hi and don't be dicks."

"Hey, Sam!"

"Yo."

"What's up?"

"Hey," I called back feeling awkward.

"Oh, he's quiet."

"Of course Carter brings a quiet person to the game."

"Shut up," Carter groaned. "You're all children."

I grinned. I didn't mind. Seriously, being an adult was overrated. And I could take a bit of good-natured teasing.

"It's fine," I said as the game began to load. "No one will be talking shit when they see how good I am now that I have an awesome healer on my team."

"Oooh someone has a thing for our Carter."

My cheeks heated and Carter growled at them, but I only laughed. Why deny it? I did have a thing for him even if I wasn't ready to show it right now.

The round started up and we dove into it. I wasn't half bad at StarBattle when I had a good healer on the team and I felt like showing off a bit. I reloaded my plasma gun and shot off a few rounds, dropping enemies with a single headshot.

"Holy shit!" Carter yelled. "That was insane. Do it again."

"Bet." I chuckled. "Let's push forward."

We did just that and kept on going until we won our first round. As soon as it was done, I hopped up and turned out the lights so I could enjoy the game in the darkness. Salt and Pepa sat on either side of me and I grinned as we started up again.

This was a perfect night. A few rounds of my favorite game, the laughter of Carter and his friends over the headset, and the possibility that maybe we could do this more often. I liked hanging out with him and discovering more sides to Carter.

"Go left, go left!" Carter yelled. "Oh shit, we're going to get murdered. What's wrong with you guys tonight? Go. Left!"

"There goes Carter screaming," someone chuckled.

I laughed right along with them. Carter's yelling was fun to me. He was excited and happy and no matter what he was going through right now, I was glad to hear him like that. We played another four rounds before my fingers started to cramp and my stomach growled. I knew I needed to eat, but I didn't want to stop what I was doing.

"I need to log off," someone called out. "Let's meet up again tomorrow."

One by one the rest of our little team followed suit until it was only me and Carter left. Now that we were alone, the nervous anxiety came crawling back up my throat. I toyed with the joystick on my remote as I stared at the stats on my screen.

"Well, we don't have much of a group anymore."

"No," Carter laughed. "But that's usually what happens. Are you staying on or logging off?"

"I was thinking about getting some food. Normally I would have eaten dinner by now, but I was too busy kicking ass."

Carter chuckled. "You weren't half bad. I'm impressed." He sighed. "Maybe I should get to bed soon. I have to keep pounding the pavement."

"No luck with jobs yet?"

He groaned. "It's brutal out there."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Need any help?"

"No, but thank you."

We were quiet for a minute and I could hear the sound of my heart beating in my headset. At the same time, we started to speak before we both laughed.

"Hey," I said once we regained ourselves. "I had fun tonight. I mean I haven't had a chance to just play in a long time."

"I did too. Honestly, you have no idea how much I need playtime."

My heart squeezed. The way he sounded was so soft and sweet made me want to give this to him all of the time. Carter really reminded me of a little, eager and ready to play. He sounded like he was in a better mood too.

"Can I have your phone number?"

I blurted out the words and my face immediately grew hot. Groaning, I wanted to smack myself in the head with the heel of my hand. Was I crazy? Why did I blurt it out like that?

"Not to be weird or anything," I rambled out. "When you didn't show up to the gym for two weeks I was worried that something had happened to you so I was thinking I should get your phone number so I can text you or something. If you want."

Carter chuckled. "You just rambled a lot. Sure, you can have my number. Are you ready?"

"I'm ready." I grinned. "Go ahead."

I snatched up my phone and programmed his number as he rattled it off. Once I read the number back to him to see if it was correct, I saved it. Looking down at my phone and seeing Carter's name was comforting. At least now if he disappeared, I might be able to get a hold of him.

"You're all saved," I said before I sat my phone down. "Are you going to be around tomorrow?"

Carter was quiet for a minute. "I'm not sure yet. Why don't you shoot me a text tomorrow and ask me then? Right now, I want to get some rest after I play a few more rounds."

"Don't stay up too late." I grimaced at saying those words. It wasn't like I was his Daddy. I couldn't tell him how late to stay awake. "Sorry, that was a little..."

"No, you're right. I should get some sleep or I'll be exhausted tomorrow." Carter yawned softly. "See? I'm already sleepy."

I chuckled. "You sound like it. Eat a little something before you sleep, okay? I don't want you coming to the gym and not feeling well."

Carter groaned. "I hate cooking. Everything I have in my fridge seems unhealthy."

"Even if it's a little unhealthy it's better than starving yourself. Try to find something quick that you can eat. I mean it's already late. A snack shouldn't be so bad."

"I guess you're right." Carter yawned again. "Shit, I really need some rest."

"Yeah, you do. Talk tomorrow?"

"I would like that." He paused for a moment. "Sorry I disappeared on you."

"Don't worry about it. You're here now. But don't scare me like that again. Deal?"

"Yep, it's a deal. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Carter."

"Night!"

We disconnected and I continued to grin like a lunatic. Carter was excited to see me tomorrow. And I was just as excited to see him. His sleepy voice was adorable and I wished I was there to help make him dinner and then get him ready for bed. I could already see him curled up against my side, his breath on my neck as he dozed off.

Shaking my head, I stood up and stretched. Carter would be the perfect boy. He roused my natural instincts to care for and train someone. And I wanted to help him anyway I could.

I wished Carter was mine.