Kite In The Snow by Karla Lopez

 

I sit in my OB doctor’s office parking lot, waiting for Travis to get here, but he’s late. I’ve been waiting for twenty minutes, and the appointment is about to start in two minutes. I feel disappointed. I thought maybe our fight would push him to prove me wrong, but I haven’t seen him since then.

I walk into my first appointment to see our baby, and I feel more alone than ever. I place my hand on my tummy and whisper, “It’s only you and me, baby. It’s us against the world.”

After a few minutes, the front desk puts me in a room and tells me to lie back and wait for the ultrasound tech to come in. When she comes in, she smiles at me and asks if we are waiting on anyone else. I offer a sad smile and say no. I’m all on my own.

Soon the room echoes, and my heart stops while I listen to my baby’s heartbeat. I’m in complete awe while the tech touches the screen and points at my baby.

My baby.

Tears streak my cheeks while I watch my little baby, and it hits me at full force that this child is counting on me. They’re counting on me to protect and take care of them. I feel this overwhelming sense to get away from this town and protect my baby at all costs.

After the appointment, I feel like I’m on cloud nine from seeing the little human I’m growing inside of me. Today is the first day in a very long time that I feel like I have purpose.

Like I’m being saved.

I choose to walk home, thinking I was going to have a ride from Travis, but I honestly gave him the benefit of the doubt that he would be here. Disappointment starts to settle in my stomach, but I try to push it away. No one can ruin what I just experienced.

I realize I spoke too soon when I check my Snapchat and see that Travis posted a story ten minutes ago. I hover over the circle icon of his story, debating whether I want to see where he was when he missed our appointment.

I hold my breath while moaning instantly hits my ears and Travis thrusting into a girl from behind fills my screen. You can’t see either of their faces, but I know it’s him. He’s wearing the small golden chain I gave him for our first anniversary. He never took it off.

I feel a ball in my throat, and it hurts as I try to swallow the tears. My lungs contract against each other while I try to breathe. I try to exhale and inhale, but there’s a sharp pain in my back not allowing me to get air all the way through.

I sit on the side of the empty desert road and try to breathe. I feel the hot tears hit my cheeks and everything comes crashing down. I feel like I’m never going to be enough. I yearn and scream for a boy that no longer exists. How can I go from being his world one minute to the trash he walks all over the next?

Why can’t he love me the way he used to?

I’m so stupid.

Here I am carrying our baby and he’s out screwing some girl.

I shake my head, trying to get rid of the memory. I will never forgive him for what he’s done. I knew he cheated on me before but seeing it is far worse. I can’t pretend it never happened.

I’m going to get away from him one way or another.

 

 

I watch Wyatt while he brings me a doughnut and hot chocolate as I sit on his cozy couch. He brought me up here after he let me break down in his arms. It felt comforting, and he’ll never understand what that meant to me.

He held me when no one else has in the past. No one has allowed me to dwell in the pain and abuse I endured.

Seeing the look on Wyatt’s face scared me half to death. I thought he wasn’t going to see me the same after I told him the whole truth, but that can’t be further from the truth. He listened and held me.

He became even more protective, if that’s possible.

My eyes feel heavy and puffy. I’m sure that I look like a red tomato and a complete mess. He sits closer than he’s ever sat next to me on the couch, and with the way he’s helped me, I know I can trust him.

It’s a weird feeling. I never thought I would ever trust someone, especially a man, but here I am. I’m willing to give that chance to him.

He clears his throat to get my attention. My eyes meet his beautiful, poetry eyes and I get lost in them while he talks. “You know, you’re not the only one with issues.”

The statement causes me to pay attention even more. “Ahh, I have your attention.” He chuckles with a soft smile. This man amazes me, everything about him is so calming.

“My dad killed my mom.” All the air leaves the room while I stare at him in complete stillness.

“I shouldn’t have said it like that. I don’t have my parents with me because of one mistake that caused so much damage. My dad and my mom were high school sweethearts. The ones that were soulmates.” He smiles proudly.

“They got married right after high school. My dad wanted to take over the coffee shop and raise his little family in little North Pole, but life had different plans. My parents went out after my dad accidentally drank my grandpa’s pain killers. My dad thought it was regular ibuprofen, but they weren’t. He drank one beer, and it altered his state. My dad hit some ice and crashed into another truck. The accident killed my mom and the people in the other car.” He swallows loudly like it hurts him to do so.

He lets go of a breath and blinks his eyes rapidly to stop himself from crying. “The worst part is that it wasn’t his fault, but no one believed him. My dad walked away from the accident with just a scratch on his head.”

Tears fill my eyes for this poor soul who’s too good for this world.

“What happened to your dad?”

His eyes grow sadder before he continues, “He got a life sentence, and I haven’t seen my mom and dad since the night of the accident. He didn’t want to see me after. He said I didn’t deserve the broken man he was now. I respect him for it.”

His smile grows while tears run down his cheeks. “I write him. I send him a letter every month, telling him about my life. I know he reads them because before my grandpa died, he would tell him that my letters made him happy. I love my dad and the memories I have of him. I never blamed him for the tragic accident.”

I’m momentarily stunned by his story, but after I get myself together, I lunge at him. I hug him so tightly we become one. “You, Wyatt Carter, are the most beautiful man I’ve ever met.”