Kite In The Snow by Karla Lopez

 

I wake up to an empty apartment for the first time in a while. After the night where we both shared our stories, we’ve been closer than ever. Wyatt hasn’t wanted to leave my side since I told him my story. In a way, he has become even more protective than before. My heart skips beats knowing someone wants to protect my baby and I, but I’m also scared to death he might hurt me.

I used to be with someone who I thought would never hurt me and the fear lives inside of me at the possibility of Wyatt becoming my monster.

I get up from bed and feel the ache in my bones every day I do. I’m starting to weigh more, and it seems like I can feel it all the way down to my toes. I can’t believe I have less than four months to go. That means more weight.

Yay, me.

I walk into the kitchen of Wyatt’s small, cozy apartment. A lit candle in the middle of the island is the only source of light. There’s no light from the windows since this part of Alaska is still experiencing darkness during the day. A fact I found so cool when it first started, but now I miss the sun. Wyatt said that would happen, but that I would get used to it. He also gave me vitamin D pills to take for the lack of sunlight.

I smile seeing the yellow doughnut he makes me almost every morning to satisfy my cravings. I can’t help but smile even bigger, to the point where my cheeks hurt, as I read the note.

 

 

This man has a way with simple words. His notes make me swoon even though he doesn’t say much.

I dress for the day before heading downstairs to check in with Wyatt. I’m excited to see what his surprise is for me. I walk into the floor of the coffee shop, and I see that they’re busy. I want to jump in and help, but Wyatt has told me over and over again that I only work certain hours.

He swears that’s when they need the most help, and it is, but I know that he made that shift specifically so I can sleep in. As the days pass on, the effects of my pregnancy are starting to weigh on me. I’ve been trying my hardest to hide them from him, but it seems that he has a way of noticing every little thing about me.

I watch him work as I sit at a back table and wait for him. Wyatt is lean, but his arms are veiny and strong. His hand stands out where it holds a tattoo of a wolf. It’s my favorite tattoo that I’ve seen, it’s so artistic looking like him.

His soft, wavy hair is sticking in all directions like he’s been running his hands through it. I adore when he does that. It makes me crave things I’ve never craved before.

I have a strong desire to run my fingers through his hair while he lays on my chest or while his face is buried between my legs.

I blink rapidly, trying to clear the erotic image I painted in my head. Surprise fills me that I’m having these thoughts. Sex used to scare me, and with Travis even more, but ever since being around Wyatt, lust runs under my skin. It simmers, wanting to break through.

His poetry eyes find mine, and his small smirk unleashes butterflies in my stomach. Or it could be that bean knows that their best friend is giving us attention.

Yeah, my baby has a best friend and it’s not me. The way Wyatt talks to my stomach makes me long for a friend too.

Wyatt walks over to me, holding a small smile. “Come to my office so I can tell you your surprise.”

I smile and follow him to a small office under the stairs that lead to his apartment. It feels exactly like the coffee shop—homey. The dark, rich wood melts into the soft decor of the room. One wall of his office is filled with poetry books, and it fills me with wonder.

I walk over to the case and run my fingers over the spine. He has poetry from William Shakespeare to Pablo Neruda. “You really like words, don’t you?”

“Not like. I love. I’m in love with words, Mae.” I hold my breath while I stare at the books in front of me, letting his words register.

“Have you ever loved something—someone like that?”

I gulp loudly while thinking his question over. Have I loved the way he loves—no, no I haven’t. The love I once had for Travis was tainted, it was bruised, and it broke me. It changed me into a fragile, scared, broken girl.

No, I’ve never loved like that.

“I thought I did once,” I admit while I turn toward him.

He stares into my eyes, then my lips and gives me a small smile. He runs the tips of his fingers over his bottom lip while they pull upward. “Maybe you will one day.”

We stand there in silence, allowing the words he said to hang in the air even though he knows I won’t keep going. I can’t. I will not allow myself to feel that way again because once you allow someone in, you give them the power to break you.

The last person I let in almost killed me.

“You said you had a surprise,” I stupidly say to try and change the subject; it’s too much. I walk over to him and wait for him as he tries to assess me, but I try to not meet his eyes. Standing this close, it has become hard for me not to reach out and touch him.

A strange feeling for me. After everything I’ve been through.

“I got you an appointment with our local OB, and it’s tomorrow.”

I can’t help the smile that follows, and without thinking, I lean over and plant my lips right on his. His wet, soft lips meet mine and tingles spread all throughout my face, making me jump back.

My eyes widen as I stare at Wyatt; realization hitting me like a brick wall. My heart beats so fast, it’s all I hear as I feel my lungs contract against each other. My breathing becomes painful, and my eyes sting with unshed tears.

 

 

 

I watch Mae closely after she just gave me the softest, sweetest kiss ever. She looks like she’s about to have a panic attack. I’m about to say something to calm her down when she startles me as she runs out of the room.

I run my fingertips over my lips as if I can still feel her lips there. It takes me a few moments to snap out of my thoughts and go after her. I walk out of my office and see that she’s nowhere in the coffee shop, so I make my way to my apartment.

I walk inside to see my bedroom door closed. I walk over to it slowly, feeling uncertain that this might break her. I know why it freaked her out. The last person she was with confused pain with love, and she fears someone else will do that to her again.

I would rather die than hurt one hair on that girl’s body. It’s hard to explain the way I feel about her, but it’s a sensation that all the great poets write about. It’s a sensation similar to your favorite song that makes you feel a certain way.

Mae is that for me. I can play her all day and every day, and it brings me back to her soft, scared smile, to her craving doughnuts, the way she stares at me while I talk to bean. While she looks through my cassettes, craving to play every single one.

She’s everything beautiful in this world.

It’s crazy to think that the most beautiful girl in the world has only experienced the ugly of this world.

She’s the sunrise of everyday, the one I love looking at from the ice rink where I skate. She’s my favorite memory.

I knock softly on my door and call her name. For a few moments, there’s no answer, but then Mae opens the door. Her cheeks are rosy and her eyes puffy; I know she’s been crying.

I feel terrible knowing that I caused that. Maybe not intentionally, but it was still me.

“Are you okay?” I ask while I lean against the door frame.

She stares at my chest and fights meeting my eyes. I crave her blue eyes, to get lost in them. “I’m fine. I—just got carried away. It was nothing. It was a meaningless kiss that was caused by being swept up in the moment,” she rushes out as I stare at her sad face when all I want to do is reach out and hold her. Disappointment and rejection weigh heavy in the pit of my stomach. The kiss didn’t mean anything to her, but to me, it’s a kiss I’ll be connecting to every love song and poem I come across.

But it was all meaningless to her.

The girl of my dreams.