Kite In The Snow by Karla Lopez

 

 

THREE WEEKS LATER

 

 

Carter’s cries wake me, and I walk over to the other side of Wyatt’s room and pick him up. I go back to sit on the bed with Carter and my nursing pillow. I lift my shirt to get Carter latched on and he stops crying.

Breastfeeding him is one of my favorite things to do with him. We get to bond in a way no one knows unless you’re a mother. I can’t believe I am a mom, but it’s one of the greatest gifts I could have ever been given.

Carter starts crying again because he unlatched from my breast and Wyatt startles next to us. We have been sleeping in the same bed since we came back from the hospital. He told me no more hiding, and I knew I had to give this a real shot.

I couldn’t risk losing him after everything he did for us and the way he makes me feel. A way I haven’t felt in a very long time.

“Hey, go back to sleep. You have to be up in two hours.”

Wyatt shakes his head. “No, that’s okay. I want to help.”

“Do you happen to have boobs with milk in them?” I chuckle.

His throaty laugh does things to my insides. “No, but emotional support.”

I lean in and kiss him because this man is so giving, it’s the greatest gift someone could have.

Every night that I have to breastfeed Carter, Wyatt gets up with me even though he has to open the cafe so early. It’s so selfless of him, but I want him to be okay too and not be tired all the time, like I seem to be.

I don’t mind being tired, though, because I cherish all the moments I get with Carter. I welcome him waking me up because it’s another moment I get to add to my good memories.

Being a mom is like having your heart outside your chest. I’d do anything for Carter, but I also don’t want to make it harder on Wyatt when he runs a business.

There’s still fear in me, and I don’t know if that will ever go away. There are moments where I believe Carter and I have nothing to worry about, but I once had a good guy turn evil.

Somewhere in my heart, I know Wyatt could never do that. It’s a feeling I can’t explain. The safety he makes me feel is one I’ve never felt before.

Wyatt leans his head on his hand while he watches Carter breastfeed. In the beginning, I was definitely nervous that Wyatt was watching me half naked, but after a while, I stopped caring.

Being naked in front of someone will always be nerve-wracking for me, but when it’s to feed my child, it’s not something that I should shy away from.

Wyatt once again made me feel safe. His stare wasn’t sexual or inappropriate to the point I felt violated. He more looked in awe of what my body can do and how it can nurture Carter.

The more I breastfeed around him, the more the feelings inside my chest intensify. Wyatt has a way of making me feel wanted, cared for, or even turned on without much effort.

I guess, in a way, he’s putting the most effort to make me feel that way. “Thank you.” Wyatt whispers.

“For what?” I simply ask.

“For allowing me this gift of being around you.” His words give me the strength I’m always searching for. I smile at him and lean forward to give him a soft kiss.

I can tell he’s controlling himself within the kiss, and there are moments I wish I could break his control, but there’s always that lingering feeling of fear.

 

 

I wake up to darkness, and I look over to the nightstand to read the clock. It’s ten thirty in the morning. I startle because I’m usually up with Carter at eight to feed him again.

After our kiss and feeding Carter, Wyatt snuggled up to me and we fell into a peaceful sleep. Something I appreciate so much now. I walk over to the crib and see that it’s empty.

I panic for a moment, but then remember that Wyatt must have Carter. I look out the window, the darkness is still a thing here in Alaska. I used to think it was cool, now I want it to be over.

I miss the sun.

But I wouldn’t trade my new home for the world.

I change and walk over to the kitchen where there’s a note from Wyatt telling me he has Carter. I smile just picturing the way he is with him.

Wyatt truly sees Carter as his own. Next to the note is the calendar, and I look at the date hard. It stops me in my tracks, and it makes me lose my breath for a moment.

I am strong.

I can get through this.

Today is my birthday, one of the worst and best days of my life, but I survived, something I thought would never happen.

A year ago, I tried to drown myself. I tried to take my life because of the abuse and pain I was put through. It was devastating waking up in the hospital the next day, but it was the best because I woke up to find out I was pregnant. God gave me the will to keep fighting.

I take a deep breath and make my way downstairs. I go and look for my boys. The sight that unfolds in front of me literally makes my ovaries scream with desire.

Wyatt is taking orders while a sleeping, small Carter is handing from his chest. I watch as a few girls at a table giggle and point at him. It makes me chuckle because I feel the same way.

Even Camila is in awe watching Carter and Wyatt. I can’t help the smile on my face. Camila spots me and makes her way to where I’m standing.

She fans her face in exaggeration, making me chuckle. “I just witnessed the hottest thing ever. A man carrying his baby while he’s all boss man around here.”

“I do have to admit it’s kind of hot.” Camila laughs and winks my way.

“To be in your shoes.” My smile disappears and realization hits me. All the pain I suffered was for this very moment, and I never would have thought in one hundred years that I’d ever be lucky enough to have it.

“I am lucky,” I whisper while I make my way to my boys.

Once Wyatt sees me, his whole face lights up. He catches me off guard with his kiss. It’s deep and sensual, making me weak at the knees.

Desire floods my veins, and I wish I had the guts to jump his bones. “We’ve been waiting for you, sleepyhead.”

“I’m sorry.”

Wyatt smiles and holds my face while Carter is between our bodies. “I’m kidding. I fed him from the milk you pumped and left in the fridge. You were tired, you deserved sleep.”

“I don’t deserve you, Wyatt Carter.” He chuckles and lightly kisses me this time.

“Funny, I think the same.” I offer him another kiss until I realize that we have an audience—the whole cafe.

“Nothing to see here folks,” Wyatt says with a grin he can’t keep off his face.

I shake my head while I feel my cheeks flush with color. I just want to run and hide and that’s exactly what I’m going to go do. I grab Carter from Wyatt and make my way back upstairs.

An idea pops in my head while I change Carter. A surprise that I want to give to Wyatt to thank him for everything he’s done for us, for me.