Kite In The Snow by Karla Lopez
I sit on the living room floor with Carter, and I play a Bon Iver cassette in the background while we play. My little man loves music just like me and his mama. His face lights up whenever music is playing around him. Mae told me she used to let him listen on one earphone when she was listening to music. It explains why she always had an earbud tucked away.
On my way to the kitchen, I make a stop in our room to look for Mae, and I hear the shower going. She must be feeling better. I continue into the kitchen and warm up a bottle for bean. His bedtime is soon, and I want to make sure he eats before he falls asleep.
I test the milk on my hand for the temperature and once I see it’s good, I make my way back to him. Skinny Love plays softly around us. I lie next to Carter, and I feed him the bottle while I watch him in awe.
I’m still a bit rattled from that guy who walked in. I’m sure it had to be Carter’s father. My gut tells me there’s something fishy about that guy.
I hold Carter closer to me, nestled against me, scared that someone can possibly take him away. I shake my head from those thoughts and continue to watch my little man eat until he falls asleep.
Once I put him in his crib, I lie back on the couch and relax. “Hey, you,” Mae says as she walks toward me in one of my t-shirts. The shirt fits like a dress, and I can’t help but stare at her bare thighs.
“Hey.” She leans in to give me a soft kiss and sits next me. “Thank you for helping with Carter today.”
“Mae, you don’t have to thank me every time I do something for him. I see him as mine and you know that.”
“I know, I just always fear we’ll overstep.”
I grab her chin. “You’ll never overstep. You guys are mine.”
She smiles big and leans against my chest. We’re quiet for a moment before the nagging feeling of this morning comes back in full force. “Today we had an out of towner and he was really weird.”
Her brows crease. “What do you mean?”
“He was watching me with an odd and curious look.” I shrug. “He also asked about Carter.”
I can tell from the look on her face that alarm bells go off. “What about Carter?”
“He asked if I was his dad.”
“And what did you say?” she asks with worry.
“That I was, but he looked like he didn’t believe me. But it’s weird ‘cause he doesn’t know about us.”
“Right,” she whispers.
“Maybe we should contact Carter’s father.” She gets up from the couch, startled.
“No. For what?” She shakes her head as she speaks.
I shrug. “So he can sign over his rights and not have him one day come back into his life and take him away from you.”
“No!” she shouts. I stare at her, surprised by her outburst. Mae is a really soft-spoken person, so it throws me off guard.
“You wouldn’t understand. Everything I went through. I won’t put my son through that.”
“I understand that, but we can fight this.”
“No, we cannot. And there’s no we when it comes to deciding for Carter. He is my son not yours.” Her words take my breath away, making it hard to breathe.
I stare at her dumbfounded and my chest stings from her words. I release a shaky breath. “I’m sorry, Wyatt. I didn’t mean that.”
I shake my head, trying to reel in my emotions. “You’re right. I’m not his dad.” Before she can say another word, I walk out my apartment and leave the girl I love with the baby I deemed as mine but isn’t really mine.