Kite In The Snow by Karla Lopez

 

I hold Carter, soothing him into sleep as I try to keep my eyes open. I’m so tired, and the fact that Wyatt isn’t here with us makes it even harder. I didn’t realize how much he helped with waking up in the middle of the night with me. He would help me stay awake.

I don’t like feeling alone. I haven’t felt that way in a long time, and I know it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have said what I said. I was just so scared of what Wyatt was asking me to do. I don’t ever want to see Travis again. I wouldn’t be able to handle it.

I also don’t want Carter anywhere near Travis either. I will sacrifice my feelings for Wyatt and leave to protect Carter. I end up falling asleep uneasily after I put Carter down.

The next morning, I get up and get Carter dressed to brace the cold. It’s May here in Alaska and the temperature has sure improved, but it’s still too cold for me and Carter.

I wrap him up as warm as I can get him and myself too. He has an appointment today with his pediatrician, and I want to make sure that I won’t be late.

When I leave the room, I instantly feel relieved when I see Wyatt sleeping on the couch. It stings seeing him sleep there and not with me. I know what I said was really hurtful, and I can only imagine how it made him feel.

I stare at him for a few moments before I make Carter a bottle to bring with us. I try to be as quiet as possible, but Wyatt still ends up waking up.

He looks over at us with a blank stare and walks into the bathroom without another word. I feel like a big idiot for what I said, but I can’t help feeling unwanted for the first time since I got here.

That’s a feeling I promised myself I would never allow myself to feel again. I walk out the apartment without saying anything to Wyatt. I’ll apologize for what I said later.

I say hi to Camila on our way out and make the small walk down to the plaza to Carter’s pediatrician. The hairs at the back of my neck stand due to goosebumps. It’s a really nice day out today, so it can’t be because of the cold.

That sick feeling you get when you know someone is watching you instantly hits me. I look around me and see nothing. There are a few people around the plaza, but they’re all the same faces I’ve seen in the last few months.

I try to shake it off once I arrive at the doctor’s office. Carter and I wait in the waiting room for just a few minutes before we’re sent on back.

We sit and wait again in a room after they weigh him and all I can do is think about Wyatt and what I said. I want to smack myself for saying that to him. I know how much Carter means to him.

There’s a knock on the door and then Wyatt comes through. The butteries erupt in my lower belly every time I see him. We haven’t had sex yet, we wanted to take it slow, but those feelings are there and strong.

“You came.” I stare at him in awe.

“Of course, I came.” He leans over and gives Carter a kiss on the forehead. Carter sees him and his whole face lights up. It makes my heart melt.

“Thank you for coming.” We’re quiet for a few moments. “Look, Wyatt, I’m sorry about what I said. It was out of line and Carter is yours. You’ve taken care of both of us and it’s something that I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to repay you. Forgive me. I was scared because I never want Travis around me or Carter.”

His face softens as I continue talking. “I understand, Mae. I will always protect you and Carter. I’m sorry for giving you that uncertainty. I’m just scared too. I don’t want him to come and try to take him away.”

“There’s no way of that happening. I will fight tooth and nail that Carter stays with me.”

“Okay, but we’ll do that together.” I nod my head.

“Wyatt, please don’t ever not come home even if you’re mad.”

He leans over and hugs me to him. “I’m sorry, baby. I promise that will never happen again. I just needed time to think because what you said really hurt me. I see Carter as mine.”

I grab his face. “He is yours. We both are. I’m sorry I ever said that. I was just scared.”

“Everything will be fine,” he whispers and plants a kiss on the side of my head.

The appointment runs smoothly after that, and I feel so much more at easy now that I know that Wyatt and I fixed our problem. It’s so weird to me to actually have someone want to talk about the issue at hand and make things better.

All I have known is worse.

After Carter’s appointment, we decide to walk around the plaza where Wyatt picks up a few supplies for the team he coaches. And the whole time we walk around the stores, he holds my hand.

Wyatt is a very affectionate person; he always has to be touching me in one way or another. Anywhere he touches, he always leaves tingles in his wake.

There’s so much pent-up sexual tension that one of these days I’m going to explode. Like now, we’re standing in front of the hockey stick section while he runs his hand up and down my back. I want his hand to go lower, but it wouldn’t be a good idea since we’re in public.

I look over at Carter and see he’s still sound asleep and know that soon I’ll have to wake him up to eat if he doesn’t do so first. I’ve finally gotten him down on a schedule, and I don’t want to break it.

After a few stores, Wyatt walks us into a flower shop. “Why are we here?” I whisper as he pulls me into him, my back to his front.

“I want to get flowers for the tables at the café,” he whispers in my ear, making his breath tickle me. His lips touch my skin, and it makes me squirm.

“Stop,” I say breathlessly.

He chuckles and tightens his hold on my waist. “What? We’re just talking about flowers.”

I elbow him and push him away from me when a sweet old lady makes her way to us. Wyatt laughs behind me. I will get him back good.

Wyatt tells the florist that he wants small flowerpots with flowers already planted in them for his tables. I watch how he sweetly talks to this woman, constantly making her smile.

Wyatt is a different kind of breed for sure. I have never met someone as nice as him where they actually meant it.

I guess there is hope after all in this world and his name is Wyatt Carter Smith.

Carter squirms in his stroller and starts crying. “I’m going to go feed him outside on the bench and wait for you.”

Wyatt eyes me with concern. Knowing him, he doesn’t want to let us out of his sight. “Are you sure? We can come back.”

I shake my head. “No, take your time. It’s really nice out, and I’ll just breastfeed him. I didn’t expect to need more bottles.”

“Okay, but call me if you need me.” I nod and give him a kiss.

I make my way out and sit right outside the flower shop, placing a crying Carter in my arms. I cover him and half my body with his blanket. I lift my shirt and watch him latch on. He instantly quiets down and focuses on eating.

I look around the plaza while I wait for Carter to finish up eating. As I make my way around, I freeze as I see a familiar figure. One that I never thought I would see again.

I feel my body run cold, and I have this urge to run. My breathing becomes erratic, startling Carter. His wailing is loud, but I’m not registering it because all I can do is watch Travis watch us.

My vision goes blurry, and I feel like I’m going to pass out.

“No no no…” I whisper as I watch Travis get closer.