Blinded By Love by Reana Malori

Chapter 2

Cade

“I don’t want to go to school, Daddy.”

My precious angel’s voice was so loud I heard it over the buzz of my electric razor. Not this again. I flipped off the switch, and the room was briefly plunged into silence. Turning to look at the little girl standing at my bathroom door, I wanted to smile, but that would send a message that her behavior was okay. It wasn’t.

“Sweetheart, you have to go to school. That’s what little kids do. They go to school and learn.”

“No. I want auntie Norah.”

This time she stomped her foot, which was something her mother had done on more than one occasion when she was angry. Every day, she reminded me more and more of my sweet Rebecca. Without warning, I felt my heart clench as I thought of her no longer being here with us. How was I supposed to do this without her?

Squatting down so that I was face-to-face with my little girl, I grabbed her hand. “She had to go home, sweetheart. Remember how we explained that auntie Norah lives in Baltimore, which is very far away. She’ll be here every single weekend to make sure you get special time with her. But one thing I do know is that she would want you to go to school.”

When her bottom lip started to tremble, I knew I was lost. My brain told me I shouldn’t give in to her, but my heart couldn’t help but feel for my little girl. Her entire world had been turned upside down. My mother had stayed for a while, but she was too old to run after a five-year-old little girl. She came over as much as she could, but I couldn’t ask her to keep on doing that.

Then what makes you think you can tell Norah to give up her life?

Yeah, I was wrong for that, but it wouldn’t change my mind. Norah was Lilly’s godmother, which meant she was the person Rebecca had intended to be there for her daughter if something happened. Well, it did happen, and Norah needed to show up. No more half-assing things. If she couldn’t be here with Lilly to help her get through this, then she needed to stay the hell away from his daughter.

“Daddy, why are you looking like that?”

Lilly’s voice broke into my thoughts. “What do you mean?” I stood back up and walked out of the bathroom. Another day working from home. It was fine. I was the boss. I could work from home every single day if I wanted to. For me, it was the principle. Being in the office showed my employees that I was right there with them, holding things down, attending meetings, making the calls that needed to be made.

But this situation was different. I knew everyone understood what was happening, but I also didn’t want anyone’s pity.

“Waffles?” I asked Lilly.

“Pancakes!”

“You got it. Go ahead and sit at the table while I cook your breakfast.” I also needed to make a call to the office. Picking up my phone, I dialed the number for Mildred. The woman was almost old enough to be my mother, but she ran the office with an iron fist. Nothing got past her. Hell, half the people in the office were afraid to cross her. The other half knew she was really the one keeping the trains running and just got on board. That was a good thing. She was the last line of defense before people were able to get to me. I was glad she took her job seriously, and as a result, I paid her handsomely.

“Morning, Mr. Donovan,” she answered the phone.

“How’d you know it was me?”

“You’re the only one who calls my private line this early in the morning. Everything okay with Ms. Lilly?”

Yup, this woman knew everything. “No. Today’s not a good day. I’ll be working from home. Anything on my calendar that I can’t miss?”

“You have a meeting with that security company, Overwatch. They want to partner with you about doing some executive assessments on potential clients. Other than that, everything can be handled by other people.”

That meeting with Overwatch was important. It could get me into a market that I’d been trying to break into for a while. Those guys were hired by some of the most prominent figures in the world. It would launch my business to the next level. I couldn’t miss this meeting.

“Is the meeting in-person or virtual?” There had to be a way I could do this.

“Looks like a virtual meeting. Want me to cancel, or can you make it?”

Hell yeah, I could make it. “I’ll be there. Did you email me the bios of the owners?”

“Yes, the document with the information is waiting for you in your email. Anything else?”

I almost laughed at how she was rushing me off the phone. You’d think she was the one running the company and not me. Okay, maybe she was. “Nothing else. Thanks, Mildred. Oh, wait, one more thing. Can you get me the name and number for a highly reputable nanny service?”

Her laughter came through the phone. “What happened to the other young lady you had watching Lilly? I think her name was Catie, right?”

I scratched my head. I didn’t want to think about how that had ended last week. “Yeah, she’s no longer a viable option. I need someone who cares about their job rather than getting to me.”

I hated to admit that when Catie first started watching Lilly, I’d breathed a sigh of relief. She seemed perfect, even if a little in awe of the house. So, it was no big deal that she spent more time talking to me in the mornings and at night when I came home rather than focusing on Lilly. I had no idea that Lilly meant it when she said she didn’t like Catie. I mean, she really meant it.

Then last Friday, when I’d come home early, she was lying in my bed naked while my daughter was by herself in the playroom. I got her out of my house as fast as I could and called the agency to let them know she should never come back to my home. Less than ten minutes after Catie ran out of the house crying, embarrassed, and apologizing, Norah had shown up.

I would hate for Norah to show up and find some young twenty-something half-naked in my house. One reason is, I’m not over my wife and I sure as hell wasn’t looking to replace her with a girl barely out of college. The second reason was harder to admit, but I didn’t want Norah to think poorly of me.

She already thought I was too rough around the edges and no good for her friend Rebecca. Not that she’d ever said that to my face, but I’d heard them talking after a few months of Rebecca and I dating. I’ll never forget those words.

“Rebecca, don’t you think he’s a little too much for you? I mean, this guy has tattoos all over his body. He looks more like a biker than a CEO. Just… be careful, okay?”

“Don’t worry, Norah. He’s good for me. He’s a good man. Don’t let his looks fool you. Plus, he’s usually the kind of guy you would go for. You like them rough and tough and bad.”

“Is he bad, Rebecca? Actually, don’t answer that. Listen, I want you to be happy. If he makes you smile every day, then I’m all for it. He’s lucky to have you.”

“Your Prince Charming is right around the corner. Maybe you should stop working so dang hard and focus on having some fun. You can’t find your Mr. Right if you’re not looking.”

There was a pause before Norah spoke again. “Even when I find him, he’s not interested. I’m okay, girl. Now, let’s get back to the party before your man comes looking for you.”

I’d been able to back away before they’d seen me standing there snooping around. Up until that time, I thought Norah was supportive of our relationship. Not that she’d ever been outright rude or dismissive, but she’d always looked so happy when we were all together.

I could admit that when I’d seen the two of them at the top of the W Hotel in DC, I was intrigued by Norah first. She’d been wearing a shimmery silver dress that hugged her curves. The back of her dress dipped low, and I saw that she wasn’t wearing a bra. As I looked her up and down, her toned, brown legs made me look twice. When she turned to the side, I caught a glimpse of her face. After that, nothing could have stopped me from taking a step forward. I was intent on speaking with her and seeing where things could go.

However, just as I moved closer, Rebecca stepped in front of me. Her blonde hair, blue eyes, and sweet voice pulled at another part of me. She was the one who spoke first. Distracted for a moment, I lost sight of Norah until she approached Rebecca and me a few minutes later. That’s when I found out they were friends. After a quick glance at her friend’s hand on my chest, Norah smiled. A man had come up to her, pulling her attention away… and that was that.

If, but for an extra second, Norah would have been the one I spent the entire night talking to, falling in love with, and marrying.

But it hadn’t been her, and I could honestly admit that I loved Rebecca more than I ever thought I could. She saw all the good in me even when I couldn’t see it in myself. Being with her made me a better man. She’d been the perfect wife, mother, and lover for the entirety of our relationship.

Who cares if she never argued with me? Whenever I raised my voice, it felt like I’d just kicked a puppy.

It didn’t matter that our love life, while damn good, still felt lacking in some ways. See, all those years ago, when Norah had tried to warn Rebecca that I was too much for her, she was right.

Nice and gentle wasn’t in my vocabulary before Rebecca. My nature was to be rough and hard. The first time I’d tried to unleash the full extent of my desires in the bedroom, I could feel the uncertainty coming from Rebecca. So, I’d stopped, and I never tried to do it again.

Our lovemaking was always gentle and soft, with words of passion and love falling from our lips. I loved my wife because she loved me so deeply in return. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for her, even if it meant pushing down my need for something more. What we had together was good. Hell, it was great. If she’d lived for another fifty years, there was no doubt I would have continued loving her and being the man she needed me to be.

That didn’t mean I didn’t wonder about an alternate future.

Which only made me hate myself even more. My wife deserved the best of me. She deserved a man who would honor her memory without questioning why she’d been the one he married. A feeling of betrayal filled my stomach, and I didn’t like that shit at all. I’d been a faithful husband to Rebecca. Not once had I ever considered stepping out on her. She was perfect. I was the one who wasn’t good enough for her.

“Daddy! Daddy! Are the pancakes done yet?”

Broken from my traitorous thoughts, I glanced over at my daughter. Rebecca may be gone, but I still had one of the best parts of her sitting at the table, staring up at me with eyes so much like hers, it caused my heart to stutter.

“Almost. While we wait, why don’t you run through the alphabet for me.”

“Okay. A… B… C…”

The only person I had to focus on was the little girl sitting at the kitchen table waiting for breakfast. Young twenty-somethings couldn’t do a damn thing for me. If the time came and I needed an itch scratched, I’d take care of it. But right now, all I needed was to get through today, then I’d worry about tomorrow.