Blinded By Love by Reana Malori
Chapter 5
Norah
Sitting on my bed in one of the guest rooms of Cade and Rebecca’s home, all I wanted to do was cry. Of course, being sad wouldn’t help me get through this, but it felt good to put a name on the emotion.
After my confrontation with Cade earlier this morning, I poured everything I could into putting a smile on Lilly’s face. We played tag, hide-and-seek, and Go Fish. To keep things balanced, I also made sure she did some pages in the workbook Cade purchased for her. It wasn’t going to be all fun and games while I was here, so I might as well start the way I would finish.
My goal with being here was to make sure Lilly was able to have support and stability from the two adults in her life that were still here for her.
Brushing away the tears trailing down my face, I stood from the bed and began to unpack my suitcases. One glance at the clock told me I’d been going for almost sixteen hours straight without sleep. Good thing I took the rest of the week off to get acclimated. Yawning, I trudged around the room, hanging up clothes in the closet and putting away my underwear and other small clothing into the dresser.
When I told my landlord I would be breaking my lease, I had to pay the early termination fee and decide what to do with my furniture. It had been easier than I thought. Now, I’m living in Cade’s home for at least six months to help him raise my goddaughter. When I’d called my mom, she thought I was crazy. At first, she questioned why it had to be me. She didn’t understand why I needed to move in when I’d already been visiting them every weekend.
“It’s just not right, Norah. I worry about you.”
“What do you mean?” I knew what she meant, but I wanted her to say it.
“Honey, I’m not questioning your decision. I’m just wondering if this is the best thing for you. You need your own life. You can’t step into someone else’s.”
Shaking my head, I was disappointed this kept coming up. “Mom, I’m not. I’m Lilly’s godmother. I made a promise to Rebecca that I’d look after her daughter if anything ever happened. I’m fulfilling my promise to my best friend.”
My mom sighed through the phone. “This has nothing to do with Cade?”
Now I really and truly regretted opening up to my mother all those years ago. At the time, I was sad and upset after a breakup. I’d been thinking about my life and the choices that I made. Then, in a moment of weakness, I told her about how Cade had begun to approach me the night he and Rebecca met. My confession that I’d wanted him for myself had been said in the heat of the moment. Leave it up to my mother to never let me live it down.
“No. Not the way you think. He needs help. All I’m doing is helping.”
That call had taken place the day after Cade requested—demanded—that I return. I’d been annoyed that my mother had assumed my intentions were less than honorable. Ha! Listen to me, trying to sound all noble and shit.
Once I was finally done unpacking, I sat on the ottoman at the end of the bed and looked around. The room was nice. A perfect place for me to stay over the next six months. Plus, since Cade had a maid service that came in twice a week, I wouldn’t have to do any actual house cleaning. If nothing else, that was a plus.
The room boasted a king-sized bed, cherrywood furniture, and a large bathroom with a separate shower and tub for the occasional soak. The closet was large, and my clothes only fit in half the space. Fine, so sue me. I wasn’t really a clothes hound. Put me in comfy leggings, sweats, or maxi dresses, and I was fine. Since I worked from home most days, I didn’t have to worry about buying an entire wardrobe of office clothes. If I needed to head to a client meeting, I had what I needed to show up polished and professional.
Removing my baggy shirt, I brushed my teeth and pulled my hair up into a loose bun. Then, just as I was about to pull out my e-reader and settle in with a good book, I heard a small knock, then the door began to open.
“Auntie Norah?”
Putting aside the device, I quickly made my way over to Lilly, who was walking into my room. Her face was downcast, and I knew what was happening before she said another word.
“Hey, Lilly Ladybug. What’s wrong?”
“I just wanted to make sure you were still here.”
And just like that, my heart broke for her all over again. “Yes, sweetheart. I’m here to stay. When you wake up tomorrow, I’m going to be right here. Then the next day and day after that.”
“I was scared. Can you read me another story?”
Tilting my head, I tried to come up with a reason why I could send her to bed without giving in, but then, she turned those blue eyes on me, and I was lost. “Yes, come on. One story, and then you have to go to sleep. Tomorrow morning, I’ll make us pancakes.”
Grabbing my hand, she led me down the hallway to her bedroom. “Thanks, auntie Norah. Daddy always wants to make waffles and eggs. Pancakes are my favorite, but sometimes he doesn’t listen.”
A smile lifted my lips. Yeah, that sounded like the Cade I knew. Well, maybe the man I always thought he was. If I were honest with myself, he was a lot different than I’d painted him out to be. He was a good man. One who loved his family. A businessman who worked hard every day. I couldn’t find fault with him on that.
Maybe my mom was right after all. What-ifs were a horrible thing. Living in the land of what could have been, was no way to live my life. Being here with Cade and Lilly didn’t mean I couldn’t move on with my life. Of course, any man I dated would have to understand how things were. There was no way I was leaving Lilly. Not before six months anyway. Maybe not even after that.
Once she was in bed and wrapped up in the comforter, I picked up her favorite book full of numerous fairytales. “Which one will it be tonight?”
“Um,” she said with a smile, her little finger tapping against the side of her cheek. “The one with the princess in the tower.”
Nodding, I opened the book to the story. “You got it.”
After ten minutes, Lilly’s eyes were closed, her mouth had fallen open, and she was off in dreamland. No doubt thinking of more ways to make me do what she wanted. Not that she’d have to try very hard. Closing the book, I lifted from the bed. Before I left, I smoothed her blonde hair from her forehead and kissed it. “I love you, Lilly Ladybug.”
I turned on the night light and went to leave but stopped in my tracks at the sight in front of me. Cade was standing there in the door, leaning against the doorsill. I almost screamed but caught myself. “How long have you been standing there,” I snapped at him as I walked out the room.
“I got up to get some water and noticed the light on in Lilly’s room.”
We both turned and stepped away. Now that she was asleep, neither of us wanted her to wake up again. Although I hadn’t been living here full-time during this past year, I knew how difficult it was for her to go down at night.
As I looked at him, I noticed he stood in front of me in only a pair of red shorts. He was bare up top, and my gaze was drawn to the tattoos covering his chest and arms. To the outside person looking in, Cade looked like a badass biker dude. His dark hair, beard, tattoos, and muscled form made him look dangerous. Not that he wasn’t, but from what I understand, he left that life behind him.
According to what I knew about him, he’d joined the US Marine Corps right out of high school. He was one of the guys who carried a gun and went toward the danger when everyone else was running away from it. He’d gotten his bachelor’s degree in business management and an MBA before he finished. He was literally the whole package, and here I was standing with him in the hallway of his home while he was half-naked.
“Thank you,” he whispered.
Just by looking up at him, I could feel my nipples beading. I crossed my arms and took a step back. I needed to get a fucking grip. Then his words registered. “Why are you thanking me?”
He rubbed a large hand over his short hair. Muscles rippled in his arm, chest, and his abs… all eight of them, flexed with the motion. “For being here. I know I kind of forced your hand.”
Shaking my head to deny his words, I raised my hand to reach out to him, but paused. If I touched him, I knew it would be a bad decision. Yes, he may have pushed the issue, but I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be. For a moment, I stared into his face and my heart hurt for him and everything he was dealing with. Before I could make a huge mistake, I pulled my hand back, wrapping my arms around my body. Did he see what I’d almost done? From the look of shock on his face, it seemed that he had. My gaze shifted away for a moment, and I took a step back to clear my head. Um… what was I saying? Oh yeah.
“You don’t have to thank me. This is what I’m here for, so you don’t have to do it alone.” For my own sanity, I needed to get back to my bedroom.
“What I said earlier, you know, about you trying to replace Rebecca—”
I truly hoped he wasn’t going to make it worse and say something stupid that would make me regret being here.
“All I meant was that I know you’re not here to replace her. I know that you love Lilly and that you’re here to help me with her. It means a lot to me. Your friendship with Rebecca is the one reason you’re here, even if it means giving up the life you had in Baltimore. Just, thank you.”
This time I looked at him, really looked at him. He looked tired, worn down, and achingly sad. He had every right to be this way, and it made me feel even worse for my feelings for him.
“You’re welcome, Cade. Don’t worry about Lilly. She’s going to be okay. I’m here to help her get through this.” And she would be the only person I would focus on. Her father, no matter how sexy he may be, was completely off-limits. “Good night. I’ll see you in the morning. Oh, I’m making pancakes, so don’t be late.” Stepping away from him, I nodded and gave him a slight smile.
Maybe we hadn’t always gotten along in the past, and tonight was not the time to examine why, but it was time to create a new friendship. We could be like roommates. Siblings. Okay, maybe that was too much. If nothing else, we could be friends.
“Good night, Norah.”
Back in my room, I stood with my forehead pressed against the door for a moment before heading over to the bed. Sadness seemed to hover over me like a dark cloak. I wasn’t sure how I was going to make it over the next six months, but I would have to. There was no choice.
As I picked up my tablet, I saw that I had some new emails. I noticed there was a response from The Love Vixen, so I clicked the message. My hands shook as I read it:
Dear Virginia,
Oh sweetie, you are in a pickle.
Grief has no timeline and he’s still mourning. You need to take a step back and focus on his child while he heals. You are a remarkable woman to rearrange your life in order to be there for the little girl. With patience and compassion, he may one day realize what has been right in front of him.
You asked me what you should do? There isn’t an easy answer. Is life ever easy? Listen to your heart. It seems like you already know what to do.
Good luck, hon!
The ♥️ Vixen
Well, damn, there it was. Proof that I needed to get over myself. I would have enough on my hands just making sure Lilly was okay. My feelings for Cade would have to go on the backburner. No more wishing for more. No more questioning what my life would be like in an alternate reality.
No more.
Enough.
My love for Lilly would have to be enough to keep me going. It would have to be.