Blinded By Love by Reana Malori

Chapter 3

Norah

It wasn’t Friday, but I figured why wait? After Cade’s call on Sunday, I spent the next few days getting things in order, which wasn’t much. I had no office I needed to shut down or employees I needed to answer to. There was only me myself and I. It was a sad existence, but it was still mine.

With too much time on my hands, I started listening to some of the podcasts I’d bookmarked. The Love Vixen had a blog also, but everyone was raving about her podcast. The thing was, she was a relationship guru of some type. Women, and some men, reached out to her from all over the world. Every one of them wanted her guidance on a relationship dilemma. I mean, some of the letters she received were so crazy. What type of woman sent in a letter to a strange woman, if she was one, spilling their guts about their love life?

I did.

I was that type of woman.

Two days after my disastrous call with Cade, I caved.

Dear Love Vixen,

I don’t know what to do and I need your help! My best friend died one year ago. Since then, I’ve been helping her husband with their five-year-old daughter. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but… I’ve fallen in love with my best friend’s husband.

I’m so torn. Do women have a ‘Sister Code’ that says we can’t date an ex? Because if there is, I think I’m about to break that rule in a huge way. I’d love nothing more than to climb him like a spider monkey, but I’m worried that I’m betraying my friend’s memory.

Please help me, Love Vixen. My feelings for him seem so wrong, but I can’t just turn them off. Do I keep my feelings to myself and just deal with my own heartbreak? Should I let him know how I feel? Should I just suck it up and find someone else?

Sincerely,

Confused in Virginia

I was confused, alright. And I was a damn fool. Well, it was too late to do anything about it now. She’d either respond or not, but it felt good to get those crazy thoughts out of my head and on paper. So, here I stood on a bright sunny Wednesday morning. I could have used my key to open the door, but I thought that might be a bit presumptuous.

Cade’s car was still in the driveway, so I knew he was home. I’d intentionally planned to arrive before he had to leave for the office. I just hoped that nanny Catie wasn’t here. Every time I came to the house, she looked at me sideways. As if I were intruding. Little did she know that I had more rights to be in this house than any woman. Ringing the doorbell again, I waited for him to open the door. I turned when I heard the lock disengage.

“What? Shit. Norah? What are you doing here?”

Such a sunny disposition. “Good morning to you too. Are you going to let me in?”

Stepping back, he glared at me as I crossed the threshold. “Why didn’t you just use your damn key? You know how crazy things get around here in the morning.”

Setting my bag down on the floor, I rotated my neck to work out the kinks. I’d woken up at five o’clock to make it here before eight. “You weren’t expecting me. What if you thought I was an intruder or something? Knocking was better.”

I saw him glance down at my bag and his gaze captured mine. “So, does this mean what I think it does? You finally here to stay?”

I removed my shoes and placed them along the wall next to his larger ones and Lilly’s smaller ones. There were shoes just a little smaller than mine, also next to Cade’s. They belonged to Rebecca. Seeing that gave me proof that I was doing the right thing. I needed to be here for Lilly, but Cade was not mine. No matter that I’d sent that stupid submission to The Love Vixen, I had to stay in control.

“That’s what it looks like. You gave me an ultimatum. Either I come here to stay full-time, or I give up seeing Lilly. That’s not something I’m willing to do.”

He stared at me. I glared at him. This time, I wasn’t willing to back down. If he had something to say, then he needed to open his mouth and do that.

“Is Lilly still getting dressed?”

“No, I was planning to work from home again today, so she’s in her pajamas.”

I’d already started to walk into the kitchen when his words stopped me. “What do you mean she’s still in her pajamas? Doesn’t she have school today?”

He shrugged before finally closing and locking the front door. “She’s in kindergarten. What is there to learn? We go over her ABC’s here, we study her numbers, and I bought her a ton of workbooks she can use to pass the time.”

I shook my head at him. “She needs other kids, Cade. Socialization. Learning how to deal with other people even when life sucks. You can’t keep her at home every day, and you need to go into the office.”

“She’s fine. I’m fine. I’ve already told Mildred that I’m working from home this week. I wasn’t sure if you’d be coming back, so I’ve been interviewing nannies.”

At that, I paused. “What happened to Catie?”

Red began coloring his cheeks. “She was no longer working out.”

“Is that all?” I’d seen the way she looked at him.

“Yes,” he barked before turning and walking deeper into the house.

That wasn’t all there was to that situation, but I’d let it go for now. “Okay, well, we’ll still need a dependable nanny. There’ll be times when I need to visit clients, and we’ll need to make sure someone is here for Lilly.” He didn’t respond to me, even though I knew he heard every word I said. “I need to see the profiles for any of the women you’re considering.”

“None of them were good enough. I’m still looking.”

I looked at him as he stood there awkwardly, and I couldn’t help the smile that came over my face. “All of them seem more interested in the father rather than the daughter?”

He let out an exasperated breath. “I mean, how do other single fathers do it? Some of these women are so blatant, it makes my skin crawl. Mildred said she contacted the absolute best agency in the city, but none of them have felt right. They eyeball me like I’m on the menu. All I want is someone who can take care of my daughter. Why is this so damn hard?”

He stood in front of me, hands on his jean-clad hips and a tight black t-shirt stretched across his chest and arms. His arm tattoos were visible. I could see the top of his chest and neck tats. The man was a walking, talking sex magnet. Until he opened his mouth and something rude fell out. But still…

“Do you really have no clue?”

“What?”

If he didn’t know, I sure as hell wasn’t going to tell him. “Nope. I’m not doing this with you. Where’s my baby?”

Lifting one arm, he motioned for me to walk ahead of him. “She’s in the kitchen waiting on me to cook breakfast.”

I passed him quickly, walked toward the back of the house where the kitchen was, and snuck up behind Lilly. She was so concentrated on her workbook, she hadn’t picked up on my voice while talking to her father. “Surprise,” I yelled out.

She turned around in her seat, her face lighting up with a huge smile. “Auntie Norah! You’re here. I knew you were coming back. I told Dad you would be back. I missed you. I don’t want to go to school. Can we have pancakes every morning? Are you going to read me a bedtime story every night?”

Gathering up the little girl in my arms, I lifted her so I could walk further into the room full of natural light. There was a cushioned bench situated against one wall. Rebecca and I would sit there when she was ill, and I was here visiting the house. It was our special spot to talk about our life adventures, regrets, and the memories that would never leave us. I sat down on the bench, with Lilly resting on my lap, and enjoyed the moment. I saw Cade walk into the kitchen and step up to the stove from the corner of my eye.

That’s the one thing that surprised me about him. When Rebecca told me he cooked most of their meals, I didn’t believe her. Here was a man with a whole lot of money, with everything he wanted at his disposal. He’d bought a mini-mansion with five bedrooms, two living rooms, a pool, a large backyard, and every amenity money can buy. Yet, he cooked full-ass meals for breakfast and dinner daily. It didn’t fit the image of him that I had in my head.

When I spent my first weekend here with them about a year after they married, there he was, making breakfast fit for a King or Queen in the kitchen since he rarely ate what he cooked. Usually, he was always off to a meeting of some sort. That day, when he was finished cooking, he’d kissed Rebecca before leaving to meet up with some buddies.

Thinking back, it had been the damndest thing, but it turns out, the man just loved cooking. He loved cooking for his wife and then his daughter once she was born. It went against everything I thought about him. Wasn’t he supposed to be an overly macho man who wouldn’t dare step foot in the kitchen or touch a dish? Well, he definitely didn’t clean, because they had someone come in twice a week to handle the household chores. With Rebecca working full-time as a marketing manager, that was a blessing. Then after Lilly was born, she began working from home full-time so she could be there with their little one. It had been the type of life my friend had always wanted. I couldn’t be happier that she was able to live the life of her dreams with a man she loved.

Then cancer came in and wiped it all away.

“Auntie Norah. Are you gonna leave again?” Lilly asked, breaking me away from my memories. Her small hands cradled my face as she looked at me with such innocence and trust.

I shook my head. “No, Lilly Ladybug. I’m not leaving again. I’m here to stay. Know why?”

Lilly shook her head. “No. Why?”

Glancing over at Cade, I could see him listening intently to our conversation. Maybe he also needed to be reassured because I know this situation wasn’t easy for him either.

Turning to Lilly, I smiled. “Because I miss you too much when I’m gone. I don’t ever want to be away from you again. So, I’m here with you to make sure you get your baths at night and to read you a story and to talk about whatever you want.” As I said that last little bit, my lip trembled. I knew the subject of her mother would come up because it always did. Lilly wanted to know all about her mother. She seemed hungry to hear everything she could, especially now that Rebecca was no longer here.

“You promise? You won’t leave me?” she asked, those blue eyes staring at me with hope and a little bit of fear.

I nodded, trying to manage a smile. “Nope. Never again. I’m here to stay. You’re my ladybug, and I need to be here with you. No matter what.” I looked over at Cade to find him staring at Lilly and me with an indecipherable look on his face.

“Are you hungry, Norah?” he asked.

I nodded at him. “Yeah, I could eat.” I turned to smile at Lilly again, and I crossed my eyes and puffed out my cheeks, making her smile.

“Breakfast will be done in fifteen minutes,” Cade called out. After a pause, I heard him speak again in a lower tone. “I’m glad you came back.”

All I could do was nod in response. If I opened my mouth to speak, I had no idea what type of confessions and secrets would come spilling out. What I wanted to say was that I was happy to. That I was glad to be here with the two of them, that they were my family now because Rebecca was my family. I would take care of them as best I could. I knew I couldn’t say any of that because if I did, I was positive he’d hear the longing in my voice—the need in my words. So, I stayed silent. It was best. He wasn’t mine. He would never be mine. So, my wishful thinking needed to be buried deep, locked away, and the key thrown into the woods, never to be seen again.