Deadly Nightshade by Sem Thornwood
Chapter 13
Isabella
I couldn’t hold my tears on my way from the study to my room. I didn’t care who saw me. I didn’t care anything. The worst had already happened to me.
Mia did try to hold me on my way, but I pushed her and hurried to my room. I didn’t want to talk to her. I didn’t want to voice those horrible truths.
Life was brutal. I thought my mother’s death would kill me, but no, this was the thing that would kill me. I was promised to Brando Panaro.
I was promised to a man who was almost sixty.
A terrible sob escaped me with the thought. Oh, what my mother said about Falzone? He is not very old, only six years older than you. At the time, it seemed like a terrible excuse, but now it sounded like a blessing. I would marry Falzone and go to New York instead of marrying Brando Panaro.
Everyone would be a better choice than Panaro.
Oh, to think his hands on my body, his breath on my skin was disgusting. How could I ever let him touch me without bile rising up to my throat?
You don’t have to let him, a little voice whispered. He will take what he wants anyway.
Oh no. I couldn’t let this happen. I didn’t want him. He could never reach my heart; his touches could never give me pleasure. All those sweet touches I just learned would turn into nightmares with him.
I cried harder. I could not do it.
“Bella?” The concerned voice pulled me out of my thoughts. Alessio was standing in my room.
How could I not hear him coming from the balcony? Oh yes, I was too busy crying about my terrible fate. With my mother gone, there was no one who could save me.
Another terrible sob escaped me, and Alessio moved to the bed so fast. “What did Sal say?” He asked, wrapping his arms around me loosely like he was trying to figure out what I needed.
I didn’t know what I needed, but I wanted him to hold me, so I pulled him down to the bed and buried my head to his chest. “Please hold me.”
This time his grip on me tightened. He held me like he was never going to let me go. And that hold gave me trust. I didn’t think what Sal told me. I just wanted all his heat around me. I needed him to protect me from the truths. I needed him to give me sweet lies. Because I was too much of a coward to acknowledge the truths.
I didn’t want to be hurt.
I just wanted to be loved. Loved by him.
“Sweetheart, what happened?” He asked again.
No. I could not tell it. I didn’t want to tell him. If I voiced what Sal had told me, it would become real. I don’t want it to be real. I just wanted Alessio. All I needed in the world was Alessio.
I pulled back and cupped one of his cheeks. He was usually clean shaved, but there was a hint of stubble. I brushed the tip of my finger to the short hairs. My eyes were focused on his gray ones. So calm, so soothing. “Please don’t ask. Just be with me. I need you.”
“Bella,” he murmured and then pressed a kiss to my hair and then my temple. His kiss filled me with fire and light. Those two drown the terrible reality.
He was here. He was with me. Maybe it was the last time he was with me. Maybe it was the last time he was going to drown all my problems with love. Even though he never said the words, that was how he made me feel. Loved.
I needed him to make me forget. I needed to have him for one last time. Actually, I didn’t even need reasons because, at this moment, I only needed him and nothing else.
I didn’t think more. I didn’t care; my eyes were swollen, and all of my face was filled with tears. I leaned in to kiss him and brushed my lips to his. Once. Twice.
When I really wanted to kiss him, he stopped me by putting his hand on my shoulder. “Bella?” He murmured. His gaze was concerned, but I didn’t care.
I leaned again and whispered to his lips, “Please. I need you.”
“You are going to be the death of me,” he said, and then his hot mouth closed around mine. I kissed him back. I didn’t care his words were not all hypothetical. I didn’t care anything. There was only him and me. Nothing else mattered.
As a result of letting go, a sudden boldness came over to me. I throw one of my legs over Alessio and settle on his lap. I wanted him so much. All fire of the agony left me and filled me with desire. I never felt this much. I never let myself feel this much. I wanted too much, and I was going to get it.
My hands immediately found the hem of Alessio’s shirt, and I almost ripped it out of his body. “Fuck,” he cursed as we broke the kiss so he can get rid of the shirt. I pulled mine at the same time.
Alessio’s gaze traveled on my bare breasts, and his breath hitched. I was still amazed by my body’s reaction to him. I loved that he lost himself in me. I loved everything about him. I wrapped an arm around his muscular shoulders and pressed myself to him. I could feel him harden under me. “Please take me,” I whispered. It sounded like a plea, and it was.
His brows came together, but there was a weird shine in his eyes. “What do you mean?”
I rolled my hips again. Our sweatpants were too much barrier; I needed them gone. I didn’t even want air to be able to go between us. I wanted him as close to me as possible. “You know what I mean. I want you, Alessio. I want you inside of me.”
His breath hitch again, and I got the feeling that he had a hard time keeping back a groan. “Don’t tell me that,” he said. He looked in pain because of those words. “We shouldn’t-“
“We should,” I cut him. My lips brushed his as I spoke. “I want you, and you want me. There is no other reason we need.”
This time a low sound from his throat escaped. He cupped my head, his fingers tangling with my hair. His beautiful gray eyes were filled with lust. “Are you sure?”
I nodded. “Yes. I have always been sure.”
“Good,” he murmured, and then he moved too quickly. At one moment, I was sitting on his lap, and on the other, I was on the bed under him.
My hand laced with his night-dark hair as I pulled him in for a kiss. I was never tired of kissing this man. His tongue on mine sent all kinds of fire to my body. Instinctively I opened my legs more so he can settle between them more comfortably. I wanted to feel his cock pressing the center of me, and he gave me just that by pressing his weight on me.
I also loved his weight on me.
The aching between my legs grew with every little nibble, lick, and kiss. My hands reached down to the waistband of his sweatpants, desperate to get rid of them.
Alessio chuckled at my eagerness, and his lips left mine as he rose. I almost gave a sound of protest, but when I see he was removing his sweats, I didn’t. I only watched him hungrily as his cock sprang free. He seemed bigger than I remember.
His hand wrapped around his heavy cock to give it one pump, which made me moan with need. “Look what you have done to me, Bella,” he whispered with a hoarse voice. “Look how much I want you.”
I squirmed in the bed, and then I held the waistband of my sweatpants. They needed to be gone as well, but Alessio’s hands closed around my wrists oh so gently.
“Let me,” he said, and I let him. I let him lean down to press a kiss to my mouth and then trail kisses all over my neck, breasts, and stomach. He only pulled down my sweatpants after he licked the skin just above it. He got rid of them along with my cotton panties.
Then he took his time to admire me like my pussy was made out of gold. Maybe I should feel insecure about him watching me like this, but I let go of my shyness along with all other real things. There was only Alessio and me.
He lifted my butt out of the mattress and pressed his mouth between my legs. An approving moan left his mouth as he tasted me, and I felt it all over my body. His tongue tasted me all around, and then his mouth closed around my clit as his fingers filled me. Two fingers stretch me, and a tongue circled my clit. It took me an embarrassingly short time to come. I was too turned on. I was so much in need.
After Alessio licked me to ride it out, he looked at me between my legs, his lips shiny with my juices. “You still want this?”
When he looked like that, there was nothing I can say no to, but even it wasn’t, I was sure. Nothing mattered but my need for him. So, I nodded. “Yes. Take me.”
He pressed a kiss to my folds one last time and came to face to face with me. “I'll be slow and gentle,” he said, and I swear I heard his voice shaken. Was he as excited as me?
I felt his hand on my thigh gently opening me up, and I obeyed and opened my legs to him. He reached between us to line his cock with my dampness. He didn’t push inside of me right away. His tip was pressed into my clit. He moved his length along my pussy, and the amazing sensation filled me. He was trying to get me even wetter. Well, I didn’t think I needed to be more ready, but I was not going to stop him because it felt good.
Alessio also whispered sweet nothings to my ear. “You are so beautiful, Bella.”
“I can’t wait to be inside you.”
His tip gently pressed to my opening then. “You are so mine.”
I froze. My whole body clamped up. Because that was a lie. I was not his. I belonged to Brando Panaro.
Oh no.
All the truths came to me at once. I didn’t want them, but I couldn’t send them back. This was wrong. So wrong. I couldn’t let Alessio have me. I was not his.
He seemed to realize my reaction because he didn’t push inside. Instead, he pulled back to see my face, and his cock pressed against my thigh. “Is something wrong, Sweetheart?”
No, he shouldn’t call me by that. He shouldn’t be naked and on top of me. God, he was almost inside me. It was so wrong.
Tears burned the back of my eyes, and I could only hiss, “Get off me.”
Alessio’s brows furrowed with confusion, but he did get off me. The second his weight left mine, I gathered the sheets and covered myself as I sat up.
“Did I do something wrong? You know I will never force you, right?” He sounded so hurt, and my heart couldn’t take that. He was not hurt because I stopped him. He was hurt because he thought I was worried he would force me.
No. Not even on my worse day, I could believe Alessio would hurt me.
“It’s not that,” I whispered. I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. I heard Alessio curse as a sob came out of my mouth. The bed moved behind me, and I heard fabric ruffling. When he came in front of me his sweatpants, and t-shirt were in place. He was trying to make me feel comfortable.
He clutched in front of me and brushed back the tears. For some reason, I let him. Maybe I didn’t have enough energy to push back him once more. “What’s the wrong, Sweetheart? What did Sal tell you?”
I have to tell him, but I couldn’t look him in the eye as I said those horrible words. “I am… I mean my father… He promised me to marry to…” I couldn’t say his name. It was too horrible to say it out loud.
Alessio’s fingers on my face tensed with the words. When I inhaled a deep breath and looked at him, his whole body was rigid. The eyes that held lust just minutes ago were filled with murderous rage. “To whom?”
I sniffed, trying to get ready to say that horrible name. The name of my future husband. “Brando Panaro.”
“No!” The word was sharp as a blade. “No, he didn’t.”
“Salvatore said he couldn’t stop my father. He promised me to Brando Panaro. He is so violent, Alessio, and he is almost forty years older than me.” The words poured out of me, but they were barely understandable between my cries.
Alessio rose and wrapped me in a hug. My head pressed to his hard stomach. His hands tried to brush my hair in a soothing way, but he was too tense for that. “I cannot let that,” he said. “I won't let that, Bella. I promised you I will never let you go.”
“You have to.”
“That is wrong. I don’t have to, and I will not let you go. I cannot even if I wanted to. I cannot breathe, thinking Panaro putting his hands on you in any way.”
“But he will,” I whispered. It was horrible and disgusting, but it was true. He was going to beat me, and he was going to rape me. “He owns me, Alessio. He is going to take whatever he wants from me.”
“No!” Again, he was too hard. And then he got down to his haunches again and cupped my cheeks. This time his eyes were a little softer, probably because he was looking at me. “Listen to me. He won’t want you if you are not a virgin.”
My eyes widen, and I pulled back a little instinctively. “Are you going to…”
“I won't touch you, Bella, unless you want me to. We don’t have to have sex. You can just say we did. Nobody will suspect you to tell such a lie and taint your honor. Panaro will choose himself another virgin bride, and I could take you since I already dishonored you.”
That was the way the Outfit was going to see everything, yes. I was not sure if Panaro would still want me to have leverage against Sal, but he was an old man. Old members valued such traditions more. Telling I am no longer a virgin would create gossip. People would look at me and whisper behind my back, but that was not as nearly bad as being married to Brando Panaro.
The problematic part was the last part, though. My father might agree to give me to Alessio if he believed no one else was going to want me. He may turn against him for dishonoring me, too, actually. Since I am promised to Brando Panaro, he might even have a say in this, and he would never let me marry Alessio. Another marriage between Vasile and Mazzoni would leave him weak.
If Panaro gets a say, he would definitely kill Alessio. I could live in pain. I could live being married to someone so horrible, but I could not live without Alessio. I could not live knowing he died because of me.
So, it was my turn to say the word so sharply. “No!”
His forehead wrinkled. “What?”
I knew if I said my real concern, he would try to fight me. I needed something better. “I cannot taint my honor like that, Alessio. How would they look at me when the word goes out? Panaro wouldn’t let me go anyways. It will only bring me and my family shame.”
“You cannot be serious.”
I tried my best to hold my tears back and my pulse in check. “I am sure, Alessio. It is not a marriage I want, but you have no say in the matter. All we did was play pretend, and this is the end. This is the part you let me go.”
“Never! I’ll never let you go.”
“Stop!” I yelled. This was too much. I couldn’t get my hopes up once more just to lose everything again. I was too tired, so when I spoke again, my voice was barely a whisper. “Go, Alessio. Please go. It will be easier for both of us.”
He eyed me for a few seconds fighting with himself internally. His jaw was locked. His cool eyes burned with fire. “Okay,” he said, startling me. “I will leave because that’s what you want, but I won’t let you marry him. I gave you a promise, and I intend to keep it.”
He was again so sure of himself, but this time I didn’t dare believe him.
