Deadly Nightshade by Sem Thornwood
Chapter 15
Isabella
I stayed at the Mazzoni mansion for the next week, but Alessio didn’t. Apparently, Rafael Mazzoni really didn’t want to get into a conflict with Panaro. Alessio had to leave and stay at his apartment in the city. Before he left, he did find a little time to be alone with me just so he can say goodbye and put a small kiss on my lips and the tip of my nose.
During the week, I was expected to get ready for my engagement party. I was also expected to plan my wedding for the next six months. Well, sorry, but no. Not going to happen.
Since I also didn’t have a mother anymore, I needed someone to plan it for me. Luckily Aunt Pippa volunteered for the position. She also wanted Mia’s help because I refused to give my opinion on anything, but she also rejected. She refused to help plan any wedding of mine that was not to Alessio and earned a wide-eyed warning look from Aunt Pippa.
The engagement party was going to take place in our mansion, so it was going to be a small gathering, but I still have to choose a dress, and invitations should have been sent. I didn’t help any of them. I kinda felt bad for dumping all of that on Aunt Pippa, but there was no way I would help my marriage to Brando Panaro to happen.
Fortunately, Mia’s school was starting next week, so she was able to spend all of her days with me. Both of us didn’t know when we could see each other again since I was going to move to the lake house after the party.
This was Mia’s senior year, and I was going to miss all of it.
“You know Aunt Pippa should have plan your wedding right now,” I said one afternoon when we were sitting on the porch swing.
She looked at me with furrow brows. “I am not turning eight-teen until January.”
It was almost five months away, but apparently, weddings take time to plan.
“Also, I cannot marry until school is over. Also, you are older than me.”
“That doesn’t mean I have to get married first.” Only it kinda did in our circles. Yet, there were girls who got married when they were nineteen or twenty.
She threw her head back and stretched her arms. “Well, for me to get married, we need to have a date, and in order to have a date, we need Salvatore to make a suggestion. Since he is not going to do that on his own, we need your father to push Salvatore. I really don’t believe marriage is in my near future.”
Well, Dad was definitely in no mood to push Salvatore, but I could do it if necessary. “Would you like to get married as soon as you graduate?”
Mia considered that for a second and then shook her head. “I don’t think so. I want to have a breather you now just for a few months.” Her eyes played around like she was deciding if she should tell the next thing or not. “I would actually want to go to college, you know. I mean, I know I cannot get an office job or anything, but I would love to get an art degree.”
I was a little surprised by her wish since this was the first time she voiced it. I was not surprised about the art degree part, though. Mia always loved to paint, and she was hella good at it too.
“I think you should do it,” I encouraged her. “You are so good at it you will definitely get in, and if not, it’s not like we cannot bribe you to get in.”
She smiled at my joke, but it left too early. There was no twinkle of hope in her deep blue eyes. “You know I can’t. It is not what’s expected from us. I am destined to get married by eight-teen and then pop babies as fast as I can.”
It was the general thing expected from women in Cosa Nostra though I was not sure if it was what Salvatore wanted. I never talked about marriage with my brother. All those years, he was always almost disgusted with the idea. Maybe he’d be on board with leaving Mia on her own to go to college and wait to have babies. Actually, even the former would be enough. “There are many women who go to college and raise kids. Also, we are rich, Mia; you can get nannies to help you.”
“Well, first, I need Salvatore’s permission. We live in a fucked-up world.”
“You think he won’t let you?”
Mia sighed heavily and curled into herself. “I don’t know, Bells. I actually know nothing about Salvatore anymore. I do care about him, but we never talked about these things. We are promised to each other for almost four years now, and he still stays away from me as much as possible.”
“Well, he is an ass, “I announced. “Still, you should talk to him. Put him on the spot. Don’t let him ignore you like that. I want both of you to have a happy marriage.” And it was true. I wanted the best for both Mia and Sal.
She looked at me with sad eyes and then shook her head. “Oh, I am sorry, Bells. You are in a horrible situation, and I bring up my problems like they are so important.”
I covered Mia’s hand with mine. “I was the one who asked,” I assured her. She didn’t need to worry about that. “It’s a good distraction to talk about different things. And just because my situation is bad doesn’t mean your problems don’t matter. I want us to share everything, Mia. We shouldn’t bear anything alone.”
Her eyes were glistening with tears, but none of them escaped. She threw her arms around me in a bear hug. One of her legs curled around me as well. Mia was always a great hugger. She hugged with all of her body.
I hugged her back, and she pressed me into her even more. “I love you, Bells. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
I smiled into her hair. “I love you too, Mia.”
Aunt Pippa chose a dark green cocktail dress for my engagement and forced me to sit down while she curled my hair and put some make-up on me. To be honest, I did look nice, but I didn’t care. The dress was pretty, but too bad it had to be tainted by the memory of this awful day.
I was going to burn it after the party. No doubt.
I drove with Mia to my house. For the whole road, my stomach didn’t let me relax. Every time I imagine Brando Panaro near me, touching me, dancing with me, bile rose to my throat. I hated the guy so much.
The only good thing was that when we arrived at the house, I got the see my twin siblings. Verona told me she missed me. Valerio acted like he didn’t care but hugged me a little longer than usual. Even though they meant trouble, most of the time, I was going to miss them when I went to the lake house.
Alessio was there too. His expression was hard as steel, but when our eyes locked in the distance, I could see his worry. I wish I could just run to his arms so that he can save me from this shit. Every time I felt bad, my first wish was to run into his arms. Maybe it was time to get rid of that habit of thought.
When we slid into the room greeting people, Mia was at my side. I was thankful for that, especially when Father appeared before me.
“Welcome home, Isabella. I hope your sleepover was good.” His face held no trace of my beating, and it made me unbelievably disappointed. Yet, his voice held the anger bloomed because of my actions.
I tried to put on a realistic smile just to show him that he didn’t break me yet. “Thanks, Dad, it was good. I have to say it is good to see you out of your office. You have been hiding for so long.”
“I was working, Isabella.”
My smile turned sinister. “Oh, really, I thought that’s what Sal was doing.”
His expression got harder, and I could see the fists forming on his sides. I was so ready for his outburst. I wanted him to lose control and humiliate himself in front of everyone. I wanted him to look weak.
But the luck was on my father’s side tonight. Because before he could burst, his Consigliere came to his rescue with a disgusting smile on his face. “Oh, here is my future bride.”
I didn’t answer, and the fake smile on my face dropped. I didn’t care what Dad was going to think. I was not going to smile at this man. Ever.
My dad patted his back. “Brando, I was looking for you. We shouldn’t wait long for the actual ceremony.”
“I agree.” His eyes turned to me from my father and traveled the length of my body. I didn’t miss that his gaze lingered on my breasts and my hips. I always loved my curvy body, but now I just wanted to hide it all.
“But,” Panaro continued. “I actually want to have an audience with Isabella first. We haven’t had a chance to have a talk.”
“Of course, you should talk,” my father said.
No. Please no. I know you hate me, but please don’t leave me alone with this man.
I knew my eyes were pleading, and I knew my father was not going to care about it at all.
Brando Panaro held out his arm to me. “Come on, Isabella, let’s have a private chat. I will be good for our relationship.”
Oh god, I am going to throw up.
Our relationship? How disgusting did that sound?
But this time, I got lucky. Because a voice interrupted us and gave me the chance to not go with Panaro. “You don’t get to leave alone with Isabella until you are married, Brando.”
I was still angry at my brother, but at that moment, I wanted to kiss him and use him as a human shield against Panaro.
I could see Panaro’s jaw harden at the sound of my brother’s voice. Good, he was aware I was not fully vulnerable against him.
“I was asking Giovanni, not you.” The last time he talked like this to him, he actually called Sal, son. I guess even he was aware that was weird since he was taking me as his bride. For fuck’s sake, I was younger than both of his daughters.
Salvatore stepped closer and wrapped an arm around me. His eyes were still on Panaro, and they held a fire like they usually did. “Doesn’t matter who you ask, Brando. It is about Isabella’s honor. I won’t let it get tainted by letting her alone with a man.”
He was playing his caveman mob role so well that even though I knew his words were lies, I still cringed. He didn’t care about those fake honor shits. He did let me alone with Alessio in the lake house. And even when he was trying to keep us apart, he didn’t have any problem leaving me alone with Antonio or my bodyguards.
“I hope you are strict about this all the time Salvatore. No one wants a used bride.”
This time I really flinched and felt Mia did the same next to me. I wanted to shout that I was already “used” that I was dirty. I wanted to shout that Alessio already took what he wanted to claim for himself even though we have never gone all the way. I wanted to take his advice and tell him I was not fit for marriage if he wanted a pure bride.
But I didn’t because I knew better than to give in to my anger. I couldn’t do that to Alessio. I couldn’t take that risk.
“Of course, I do,” said my brother pulling me away from my thoughts. “Now, I want to dance with my sister before the actual ceremony.”
I could practically see the anger in Panaro’s eyes, but he was not going to back up. He smiled fakely, saying, “Very well.” Then his gaze turned to Mia. “Miss Mazzoni, would you grant me a dance then.”
Oh, so he was going to play dirty. He knew Salvatore couldn’t rescue both of us, so he was paying him back by dancing with his fiancée. Sad for him, he had no idea how much of a backbone Mia had. He was seeing her as a little girl, but he was so wrong.
Mia smiled a sweet smile with disgust in her eyes. “I would love to.”
He couldn’t break Mia, but he did break Sal a bit because when we got into the dance floor, his eyes were hard and on his fiancée. “I hate to see him so close to her,” he murmured in a possessive voice. Weird. I had never heard that tone from him while he talked about Mia.
Sadly I was still angry at my brother, so he had more in his hands than he thought. “And you won't hate seeing him close to me?”
With that, his eyes left Mia and focused on me. “Are you crazy? I hate every second of this stupid parade. You cannot imagine how hard it is not to take out my gun and shoot the asshole.”
I laughed humorlessly. “I think I do know.”
“We will find a way, Bella. Just go through with this now. I will save you, I promise.”
I held down a laugh. For some reason, everybody started giving me promises lately. Promises might be so valuable among Made Men. Promises might mean honor to them, but they didn’t mean shit to me unless they put a bullet between Brando Panaro’s eyes.
After the dance, Sal couldn’t stay with me forever. There were many people who wanted to talk to him. Even though I prefer him as my shield, I was not upset. He was respected and adored by many guests. Unlike my father, he was actually loved. At this point, I could only hope for my father to see it and leave his position to Sal.
I danced with a few more guests. I knew most of them, so it was not uncomfortable. All of them told me how much I have grown and congratulated me on my engagement. A few of them who were bold enough said that they were very sad for Mom and vocalize their shock at the party being held very soon after her funeral. I had a small ounce of respect for all of them who talked about her.
Luckily Brando Panaro didn’t try to dance with me again. He didn’t have to put much effort into it, actually, since he had reserved at least one dance already. Our first dance after the little ceremony.
It was not even a ceremony, really. We stood in front of the guests; Brando Panaro stood next to me, too close for my liking. Then Dad made a small speech giving us his blessing. Groom’s father should have made a speech too, but since Brando Panaro was fifty-seven, his father was long gone.
After Dad made a horrible speech, Panaro held my hand and slipped a horrible ring to my finger. It was so hard to hold back my gag. The ring almost burned my finger. It was a huge princess cut ring, and I hated it more than anything except for the man who gave it to me.
Just so I can soothe myself and control my breathing, my eyes roamed over the guests, searching for Alessio. I needed to look at his gray eyes and escape from this shitty reality, but to my horror, not only I couldn’t see Alessio, but Panaro used my distraction to lean in and kiss my cheek.
Oh god, help me. I have to bleach my cheek to get rid of the touch of his lips now.
I couldn’t even hide my disgusted expression. My dad saw it. All the guests saw it. Brando Panaro saw it. And for whatever reason, this made him smile. The asshole was loving the way I hated him.
I knew Brando Panaro was very violent and got off on beating up his wife, but I was not expecting this. He was hoping for my displeasure so he can force himself on me. The guy was really sick.
When he wrapped an arm around my waist and lead me to the dance floor, I had to stop searching for my savior’s gray eyes. I put all of my strength to not puke all over him. Actually, the idea amused me, but I was trying to be true to Antonio. I was going to go after today. I shouldn’t have done anything bad again.
So, I held it all in. Even when he pulled me closer to his body and swayed to the music. I tried to stay away from that moment. I didn’t want to be in his arms. I wanted to believe otherwise.
“You look so beautiful tonight, Isabella.”
Oh, and he had to talk. One side of me was eager to not answer and leave him hanging, but my other side was filled with Antonio’s advice. So, I answered with a cold tone and without looking into his face. “Aunt Pippa chose the dress.” There was no way I was going to thank him for the compliment.
“Great choice. It shows your body perfectly. Every man in this room looks at you with hunger Isabella.”
I swallowed. I didn’t know where he was going with that. “I don’t think that’s true.”
His arm around me tightened, and he chuckled darkly. My breasts were pressed up against him, and I felt threatening tears. I didn’t want to cry, but I just felt too powerless in his grip. “Oh, but it is true. And you know what? I love that a lot. I love that all of them want you, but I am the owner of your virgin pussy.”
I flinched at his words and instinctively looked around, but he was too close to me, and his voice was low enough for only me to understand. I wished it wasn’t. I wished someone would hear and rescue me even though it was the most unrealistic wish ever.
Panaro didn’t care that I didn’t answer him. He pressed himself to me so that I can feel his erection. At this point, I was barely holding to dear life. I wanted to shove him away. I wanted to cry.
“I am going to break you, Isabella,” he murmured to my temple. He whispered in the same way Alessio whispered sweet nothings. “And no one is going to stop me because I own you, Isabella. Never forget that.”
Oh, I wanted to forget, but his words were true.
Everything Sal, Antonio, or Alessio told me these last few days flew away. Those didn’t matter. Those were lies and stupid hopes. The truth was Brando’s toxic words.
When the song finished, I practically ripped my body away from Brando. With the last bits of my sanity, I murmured, “I have to go to the restroom.”
I had to go somewhere, anywhere. I couldn’t hold back all those tears any longer.
I practically ran to the bathroom and threw myself inside without knocking. Luckily the door was not locked, and the bathroom was empty.
As soon as the door closed behind me, tears started falling down my cheeks. I braced myself on the washbasin, crying hysterically. I did cry a lot these last months, but I never cried like this. I cried like I was dying. I cried so hard that it took my breath away. I wanted to scream, but I really couldn’t breathe.
When the door to the bathroom opened, I realized that I forgot to lock it. A wave of anxiety should have been captured me since no one should see me like this, but I couldn’t care. I couldn’t care because I couldn’t breathe, and that was way more important.
Before I could check who came with my blurry vision, two large hands cupped my face. “Bella, breathe.”
I wanted to do that, but I couldn’t. I tried to answer, but I couldn’t. As I realized, I was also shaking. It really felt like dying, but it was not peaceful at all.
Thumbs brushed my tears, making my blurry vision a little better. “Just look at me, and breathe, Sweetheart.”
Oh, Sweetheart. There was only one person who called me that. And within seconds, his gray eyes became visible.
“Breathe,” Alessio demanded again, and this time I did manage to get a breath. It didn’t get better immediately, but I stopped shaking. Those gray eyes gave me a sense of comfort.
Between ragged breaths, I managed to whisper. I needed to tell him why I was at this stage. “He is going to hurt me.” Then I added with more tears filling my cheeks, “I am his.”
“No!” He growled. Then he shook his head like he realized being rough was not going to solve this. “You are never going to be his. You are mine. You have always been mine.”
I once believed those words, but they were just lies. How could I believe them now?
“He is going to break me,” I whispered, repeating Panaro’s words. I was able to breathe now, but my hysteria was still very high. With the blood filling my brain again, I realized I had a panic attack.
“He can’t,” Alessio whispered with a small smile. I was too far gone to tell if it was a genuine smile or not. “He can’t, and you know why?”
I simply shook my head.
“Because he is not real. He is just a nightmare, Sweetheart. He is just a scary story.” When I was about to object, he pressed his lips to my temple, whispering as his lips brushed my skin. “Me, on the other hand, I am real. Just feel me, Bella. I am real.”
He was real. I didn’t think about those former words. He was real. That was not a lie. He was here, and he was holding me, and he was always going to hold me.
I needed to make sure he was real. I put my hands on his chest, where the warmth radiated under his shirt. My hands searched for his skin, searched for something real. I stopped when my fingers brushed his neck. I rested one hand there just to make sure he was real, and then my other hand threatened with his hair to give me something to take my mind off of all that bullshit that just happened.
One of Alessio’s arms came to my back and pulled me into him. He was in a position very similar to Panaro, but it felt so different. It felt good beyond measure. It felt safe.
Alessio put kisses all over my face, and when I was sure all those kisses were more real than my pain, I rested my head against his chest. I listened to his heartbeat, and Alessio just held me because that was all I needed at that moment.
