Raging Fires by Candace Camp

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Kelli didn’t see Jake the rest of the party. Where had he gone? For a moment there, when they were standing together thinking about Pops, they had seemed like normal. She had wanted to blurt out everything she was feeling, to tell him how much she loved him and she wanted to make things right between them again.

But then Howard Perry and Princess had interrupted, and everybody came up and started talking, and the next thing she knew, Jake disappeared. It was just as well. It was the wrong thing to do, the weak cop-out, and she would have regretted it. Probably.

At any rate, it didn’t matter because the moment was gone. Still, she couldn’t keep from surreptitiously looking around for Jake the rest of the evening. She made her way around the party, chatting with her various in-laws, friends and employees. Gran had added the team this year so it was even more of a crush than usual.

She saw Gran a couple of times at a distance, but she didn’t go over. She was pretty sure Jake’s grandma was giving her the evil eye. He must have told her about the debacle of their second break-up. Kelli developed a headache, and finally she slipped out with Toby and drove home.

Jake’s SUV was parked in front of the house, and he was putting something in the back of it. He closed the rear door and turned as she parked. Toby shot out of the car and went to greet him. Jake squatted down and leaned his forehead against the dog’s, talking quietly to him.

Watching him, Kelli’s stomach tightened into knots. What was going on? Jake stood up and turned to her, and his expression didn’t make her feel any better. “Jake?”

“I’m heading off to training camp,” he said, crossing his arms and leaning back against the car, again doing that annoying thing of not quite looking into her eyes.

“Tonight?” What the hell? “I thought camp didn’t start until next week.”

“It doesn’t, but I thought I’d go out early, look around LA and San Diego. Who knows, I might wind up one of those places after this season.”

“Oh. I see.” She saw that he couldn’t bear to stay around her another minute. She saw that there was never going to be any chance at working it out. “Were you even going to tell me?”

“I was going back in to write you a note.”

“Are you… coming back?” It was painful to get the words out through her constricted throat.

He nodded. “I committed to a year; I’ll stick it out.”

He might as well as said he’d serve out his sentence. “Jake…” She started toward him, and he backed up a step. “What I said the other day. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

“No.” Jake shook his head sharply and raised a hand as if to halt her. “Don’t start lying to me now. And no apologies because you feel guilty or whatever. There isn’t any in-between. You either believe me or you don’t. You trust me or you don’t. You love me—” He paused for an instant, setting his jaw. “Or you don’t. We both know it was never going to work out with us. And the best thing to do is just accept it and move on.”

Kelli didn’t say anything; she couldn’t with the tears clogging her throat. All she could do was try to keep it together, ignore the tears streaming down her face. Jake was right. She knew he was right. But, God, it was hard.

Toby, standing in between them, started to whine, looking first at Jake and then at her. Jake opened the door of his SUV, then half-turned back to her. “Take care of Toby. And be sure to keep him inside tonight. You know. Fireworks.”

He got into the car and started the engine. Toby’s whines grew louder. Jake backed out, and Kelli hooked her hand in Toby’s collar to keep him from running after him. God knows, that was what Kelli wanted to do.

Jake pulled out onto the street and was gone, but Kelli kept standing there, looking after him. There was a pop somewhere nearby, and she jumped. Toby let out a bark. Firecrackers. She needed to get the dog inside. Still holding onto Toby’s collar, she pulled him inside and closed the door.

Walking farther into the room, she looked around. Jake’s TV was there, but all his other things were gone, his little ‘room’ emptied. Kelli walked down the hall to the bathroom and looked in. There, too, everything of his was cleared out. Toby came up behind her and whined, his tail wagging half-heartedly.

“Yeah, I know,” she told him and stroked his head. “He’s gone. But he’ll be back. He won’t abandon you.”

She looked around the living room again and finally sat down on the couch. Toby lay down beside her, his head in her lap, and she petted him. “We’ll be okay. It will all feel better tomorrow.”

Kelli wondered if Toby believed her words any more than she did.