Safeword: Mayday by Candace Blevins
Chapter 24
When everyone had been wiped down with baby wipes, and Kyle had checked his texts and voice mails to thankfully see no one had needed him since he’d last checked in, Marcus situated them on the playroom bed with everyone on their left side, spooning. Marcus at the rear, then Heather, then Kyle.
But Heather wanted to see Marcus’s face for the conversation they were about to have, so she murmured for Kyle to turn with her, and the two of them turned to their right side, so she was facing Marcus.
Heather reached her left hand up to smooth the hair back from Marcus’s face, and she had the feeling this wasn’t something submissives often did. “I’ve heard you and Kyle talk about who you’re looking for, almost like you have a laundry list of things written up, maybe even a picture.”
Marcus gave a lopsided smile. “No picture, but I absolutely have a list. There is the fantasy and the reality though, and I do know the difference. In the fantasy, she’d be home, naked and kneeling by the front door every day when I came home. She’d be mine twenty-four-seven, and I’d be able to micromanage her life down to the smallest little tidbits. She would revel in this, would need someone to do this for her. However, the reality is that I want to know my slave is there because she wants to be, not because she has no other choices. Also, I want her to be strong, to be able to stand on her own but to choose to submit. I want to know that she’s strong to everyone else, and only submissive to me.”
He kissed her forehead. “This means she’ll likely have her own career, and that means there’ll be aspects of her life I won’t be able to fully control. However, sexually, she’ll still be mine twenty-four-seven, or at least any time she isn’t working. As for my list, she’ll have to be able to take the pain I’ll dole out, and she’ll have to be okay with being more of a slave than a submissive. When we’re home, she’ll be naked at all times unless I want to see her in something sexy, and she won’t sleep in my bed every night — I expect at least half her nights will be spent in a cage. Since she’ll have a job, I’ll likely keep my current housecleaner. She’s the submissive of a friend, and I’m allowed to punish her within guidelines set forth by her Master. I’ll probably make my slave responsible for keeping the housekeeper informed of special instructions, based on what’s coming up, though.”
Marcus looked to Kyle a second, and back to her. “If I could replicate Amy, my housekeeper? I’d do so in a heartbeat. She’s everything I’m looking for, but I’ve never poached another man’s slave and don’t intend to start now. Still, if you want a sense of my ideal, she’s it.”
Heather had met Amy a few times, but she’d been uncomfortable with a naked housekeeper, so she hadn’t talked to her much. Looked like she needed to rectify that.
“So, that look you were giving Kyle and I, you looked sad, and maybe I’m a little sad, too. I mean, I’m starting to...” She took a breath. “I’m starting to like you. I miss you when you aren’t around, or when we haven’t talked in a few days. Kyle said that was okay, as long as we’re all honest about it, but it can’t go anywhere, can it? I’m not submissive, and you’re waiting for your dream slave to come along. That’s not me. I’m not her.”
“You aren’t her, and you’re right — that’s part of why I was sad. You’re the strong woman I’d love to make my submissive, but I don’t see you ever agreeing to the kind of power exchange I need. Also, while I’m positive you could handle everything I’d want to do to you on the S&M side, it wouldn’t be what I’m looking for either, because it isn’t really pain for you. It’s sensation. I need for someone to take the pain I give them. I need to hurt them, and I realize how that sounds, but it’s more than a want. It’s a need.”
“I’ve realized I get different things from you and from Kyle. I love what I get from Kyle, but I’m not sure it’ll be enough. Maybe I’m a tiny bit submissive, because I enjoy having you in control of what happens to me, having you plan out what you’re going to do, and then playing my body like a musical instrument. Kyle can bring sensations out in me, but he’s doing what I want him to; his pleasure is in pleasing me. I get the feeling your pleasure comes from a different place, and that works for me, too. I desperately need what I get from Kyle, but I also need what I get from you. It makes me sad to think you’ll eventually find your own soul mate and then you may not want to play with Kyle and me anymore.”
As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she realized that wasn’t the whole truth. “No, that’s not the only thing that makes me sad. It makes me sad that we may lose you as part of us — laying together, eating together, hiking together. I like you, Marcus, and it’s the kind of like that I think could easily grow into something more.” She squeezed Kyle’s hand at her stomach. “It feels wrong to say that when I love Kyle, but he assured me it’s okay to have this conversation with you, and that as long as we’re all honest with each other, it’ll be okay.”
The brown of Marcus’s eyes seemed almost golden for a second, but he blinked and they were milk-chocolate brown again. “You’ve already figured out that my friendship with Kyle runs deep. I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future, but in my world, someone who identifies as a slave doesn’t get to decide who she has sex with, or who her master has sex with. A submissive might, depending on the specific agreement, but a slave never does.
“A slave wants to be told these things — it’s part of being totally owned, so being ordered to be part of a foursome would be a turn on for her, not a turn off. Since I’m looking for someone with the mentality of a slave, when I eventually find my soul mate, I’ll still be here for the two of you. Whether she’s in her cage while we play, or whether she’s allowed to be actively involved with the three of us,” he shrugged, “only time will tell. We’ll just have to see what happens, if I ever find her.”
“And any jealousy I’d have over you with someone else? I guess that would be my problem, and something I’d just have to learn to deal with.”
He smiled. “You’d be jealous of me with someone else?”
“I would, even though it’s kind of screwed up. I mean, you’re not jealous of me with Kyle. You’re happy for us, and I guess I’ll have to figure out how to be happy for you, even if I’m jealous.”
“I’m not the least bit jealous of the two of you together because Kyle gives you something I can never give you. My relationship with you is different than your relationship with Kyle. Not better, not worse, just different.”
Heather thought about that a minute. “So, if you find your perfect submissive, slave, whatever — if you find her, she’ll give you something I cannot. She’ll feed a part of you that I won’t be able to. But, what part of you, what kink…” She reached for his hand, and he laced his fingers in hers. “I don’t feed any of your wants or needs, do I?”
“Maybe you do. Maybe you’re the strong woman who’s with me because she loves me. I don’t know all the answers, but I care about you, too, and I also feel it’s the kind of thing that could grow into something more. I already love Kyle, and Kyle and I already know we can share someone between us. Maybe the three of us will become a permanent threesome, with me looking to add a fourth to round things out. Maybe my slave will be submissive to you and I, or maybe she’ll only be submissive to me. We’ll have to wait and see, but the fact I’m still looking for a slave doesn’t mean the three of us can’t be a threesome, if we choose.”
Heather shook her head. “I’m still trying to get used to the idea of three people in a relationship. I think the thoughts of four people in one relationship might just make my head explode. Is that even possible?”
“If you get four people who are evolved enough to not allow jealousy to take hold, and who have the right kinds of communication skills, it absolutely is.” He grinned. “Especially if you happen to have a mental health practitioner in the bunch.”
Heather narrowed her eyes at him. “Just so you know, sometimes that can be pretty damned annoying.”
His face sobered. “Yes, I know, and I try to keep it to a minimum, but sometimes it’s necessary to point out that something needs to be said, even if everyone would prefer to ignore it and pretend it doesn’t exist.”
Everyone was quiet for a few moments, and it was Kyle who broke the silence. “So are we considering ourselves a threesome at this point? Or do we still say Marcus is our mentor?”
Heather looked at Marcus, wondering how he would respond, but the look he gave her made her think he was looking for her to answer, so she said, “It feels as if our options are to consider you a mentor, or to consider us a threesome that isn’t complete yet.” She shook her head. “You’ve become more than a mentor, but it sounds like Kyle and I are going to be monogamous to just the three of us, while you aren’t.”
“Are you okay with that?”
Not really, but she was going to have to be. “Yes and no. It’ll mean you and I will always use a condom. I’d prefer we all be exclusive, but I understand why that won’t work for you.”
He nodded. “Let’s consider us a work in progress?”
“I’m good with that,” Kyle said from behind her. “The only problems I can foresee would involve one or both of us not liking the person you choose, but we’ll deal with whatever issues arise. Like you said — you can cage her when we’re together if she doesn’t fit into our dynamic. Odds are, though, if she annoys us, she’ll annoy you, too, so it won’t be a problem for long.”
Marcus smiled at Kyle and then met Heather’s gaze. “Have you told Kyle our plans for tomorrow?”
“Not exactly. He knows we’re going to the ranch, and he’s good with it. He and Zeus have come to an understanding with each other. You’re sure you can handle a spirited horse?”
“I understand that these are show horses and race horses. It’s been a while since I’ve ridden, but I feel fairly certain I’ll be okay.”
“Fairly certain?” She looked at him a second, considering. “Why don’t we start with both of us together — I have a saddle that’ll handle both of us easily. I know, you’re a big Dom and like to be in control, but my horses are... well... I don’t break them in the way most people prefer. I looked for a long time before I found a ranch manager I knew would take care of my horses with the same philosophy I have.”
“Wait, you own the ranch? I thought you just boarded your horses there?”
“Nope, it’s all mine. Lucky for me, Jonah is great with the horses and he has good business sense. He’s good enough at his job that I have the luxury of just checking in a few times a week, usually while I’m there to ride. Most of the income is from boarding and training horses for other people at this point. My horses have done well, but so far not well enough so our winnings can support the ranch. Jonah gets room and board, a modest salary, plus a third of the ranch’s net income after expenses at the end of the year. The rest goes towards maintenance and improvements.” This gave Jonah extra incentive to keep expenses down, and to keep the paying customers happy.
“So you don’t take an income?” Marcus asked.
“I don’t have to pay someone else to board my horses. The fact it pays for itself and keeps growing is enough, for now. I plan to start hosting six to ten adventure weekends a year, and at that point I expect some personal income will happen. I already have the climbing wall, though it may need to be expanded, and I’m considering adding a zip line when that happens. There are a few entrances to the underground caverns that run under the property, so we can offer some caving for those so inclined. Adding a few skydiving jumps one afternoon rounds out an impressive adventure weekend. All I really need is a few more guest rooms. I have three now, and those are often occupied by people wanting to train long hours with their horse before a big show. I figure another six rooms will be a good start. I’ve done two adventure weekends so far, and provided tents. As a feasibility experiment, both weekends were a roaring success, but I need toilet facilities on that end of my property before I do it again.”
She’d felt Kyle stiffen when she mentioned the climbing wall, and now he asked about it. “Climbing wall? Is that what Marcus was talking about when he asked if you’d told me about tomorrow?”
“I’m going to show you how safe it is — how the mechanism that keeps you from falling works — and then I’m going to let you try it. You’re going to ride up to it on Zeus and put a piece of tape as high as you can reach, and then I’ll want you to climb up and remove the tape.”
“Oh. That’s...” He relaxed behind her. “I’ve fallen off a horse and survived. Zeus is pretty tall, but if I think of it as not being any higher than I was earlier in the day, I think I can do that. Thank you for thinking of it that way.”
“You’re welcome. Marcus says we need to do it two to three times a week, adding at least six or twelve inches every time you climb.”
His hand tensed on her stomach. “I knew there’d be a catch.”
Heather looked at Marcus, wanting him to say something, and Marcus looked at Kyle a few seconds before telling him, “Don’t worry about the future. Tomorrow is about reaching the same height as you are while sitting on a horse. If you do that, we’ll consider tomorrow a rousing success.”
Rather than agree or disagree, Kyle changed the subject. “Speaking of rousing successes, what did you do to Heather? She seems to have really embraced her Dom side during your trip to the cabin.”
Heather turned to lie on her back so she could see both men, and she looked up at Kyle. “So it was good? I mean, you had a hard-on, so I figured you were good with it, and you’re right — I really got into it. Still, I worried a little, that maybe it was too much? I was pretty rough on your nipples, and I know I made you wait a long time for your orgasm.”
Kyle shook his head. “Nothing was even close to too much. It was great. I really felt as if I belonged to you, and I got to stretch my limits, to challenge myself in order to follow your orders. Thank you. It was perfect.”
Kyle’s sky-blue eyes were clear and bright, and she believed him. Kyle had never lied to her. He’d always been there for her, as a friend, and now a lover.
She’d never expected to be able to call someone that and mean it, and now she had two people who fit the definition.
“I love you, Kyle. I started out doing this to make you happy, but I’ve discovered a part of myself I never knew existed. And now, what makes you happy is also making me happy.”
Marcus chuckled. “That’s the way it’s supposed to work. You find someone with complementary kinks, and everyone gets what they need. For my part, I love taking you places you’ve never been before, giving you new experiences and sensations.”
“What happens when you’ve shown it all to me? Will you get bored with me?”
“Not a chance. For one thing, it’ll be years before we run out of new things to try, but mostly, it’s kind of like the climbing wall. Each time you go a little farther than the time before. Couples who’ve been together ten or more years often do what’s perceived as some really extreme things, but to them, they’ve gotten there gradually, adding a little here and there, so it doesn’t seem so extreme to them.”
* * * *
Heather awakened the next morning to hands massaging her breasts. She opened her eyes to discover Marcus massaging her right breast while Kyle worked her left one. She reached her arms over her head, stretching her body from her fingertips to toe tips, and left her arms up. “I’d say the two of you are insatiable, but that might make it sound like I thought it was a bad thing.”
Kyle laughed and leaned in to suck on her nipple, and she gave a long, low groan when the suction pulled her flesh farther into his mouth, and his tongue circled the nipple.
“Have ya’ll already worked this out, or are you going to draw straws to see who goes where?”
Marcus chuckled. “Why don’t we turn you over and put you on your hands and knees. I’m sure Kyle can figure out what to do at the back end, and I’d like to feel your mouth, if you’re up to it.”
“You’ve never—” she cut herself off because it sounded crude in her head, but she needed to ask the question, so she found another way. “You’ve only been in my mouth and my rear. Maybe you can fix that this morning, and I can torture Kyle with my mouth?”
He took a few seconds to answer. “We need to have a discussion, but can we do it later? I promise an explanation over breakfast, okay?”
Heather sat up. “Fine, then let’s eat.”
She moved to climb over Kyle, figuring he wouldn’t stop her, but she was wrong, and Kyle grabbed her arm, put his other arm around her torso, and pulled her to him.
“Kyle, let me go.”
“Don’t be mad. We have to communicate. Walking away isn’t communicating.”
“Neither is saying we’ll talk about it later.”
She felt Kyle look up at Marcus. “She has a point.”
“Fine, then let’s eat.” Marcus sounded aggravated, but Heather was pretty irritated, too.
Which left Kyle as referee, apparently, and he said, “Jonah’s supposed to have breakfast for us at the Flying H, right? Why don’t the two of you head to different showers to get ready.”
Heather’s back was to Marcus, since that was how Kyle had grabbed her, and she heard him behind her.
“Flying H?”
“Yeah. That’s the name of the ranch,” Kyle told him.
“Because you’re Heather, and you fly?” Marcus asked.
Heather felt her anger slipping away, and she told him, “Yes.”
“I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. I shouldn’t have tried to put off an answer.”
“No, you shouldn’t have.”
Kyle’s grip on her loosened. “Why don’t I go draw a bath in the big tub, and we can all take a bath together and talk before breakfast.”
No one responded, so Kyle kept talking. “Okay then, I’ll go fill the tub. I trust it’s safe to leave the two of you alone?”
Heather pulled out of Kyle’s arms. “Don’t be a smart ass. Go draw the water. I’ll grab the clothes I’m going to wear and meet you in there.”
Heather went to her bag to grab her jeans and shirt, and Marcus stood, but didn’t move away from the bed a few seconds before he sighed and followed Kyle out of the room.
Heather rolled her clothes and underwear into a bundle and followed them.
She expected them to be talking when she arrived, but Kyle was sitting in the tub while it filled, and Marcus was looking through the oils.
Marcus looked up as she walked in. “I’d normally use something designed to wake us up first thing in the morning, but I’m tempted to use something soothing.” He glanced at Kyle and looked back to Heather. “But Kyle doesn’t want to smell like lavender all day.”
“Why don’t we skip the oils this morning, so we don’t have to decide.”
He nodded. “Fair enough.”
Heather sank into the tub, settling into her own corner so she wasn’t leaned against Kyle. She didn’t want it to look like it was her and Kyle against Marcus, but she wasn’t sure how Kyle would feel about her not touching him.
Kyle gave her what she thought was an approving look, so she figured she’d done that part right. Marcus stepped in and claimed his own corner.
Nobody talked while the tub filled, though the water rose surprisingly fast. Marcus leaned up to turn the water off when it was time, and almost as soon as it was off, he started talking.
“I long ago made a vow I would never father a child I wasn’t positive I’d be able to raise. Not just support, but actually raise. I don’t want to father a child who won’t live with me, who I won’t be able to actively parent every day of the week, every week of the year. As part of that vow, I don’t have vaginal sex with anyone unless I’m certain that if a child resulted, we would raise the child together — that even if we broke up, we would continue to live together, even if that meant bringing our new relationships into the house, and making sure our new significant others were mature enough to be civil in that type of atmosphere. Needless to say, I haven’t had a whole lot of vaginal sex.”
Heather knew Marcus’s parents had divorced, and his mother had moved them to another city. He’d only seen his dad when school wasn’t in session. This decision was such a Marcus way of handling his own baggage, she didn’t bother explaining how birth control worked. The man was a doctor — he knew. This wasn’t about logic and statistics. She got it, but…
“When were you planning to tell me this?”
“It’s not a conversation I normally have. The women in my life aren’t in a position to argue about my taking them in the ass every time, and I pay enough attention to their pussy with my mouth, or with toys, I don’t get too many complaints. I tell them all their holes are there for my use, and I prefer to fuck their mouths and asses.” He looked at Kyle and then back at Heather. “You aren’t my submissive, or my slave, so you’re correct — it’s a conversation we should’ve already had. I’m sorry for that, and I’m sorry I didn’t stop what we were doing to have the conversation when you asked me about it.”
“You know I have an IUD, right?” Okay, so she had to bring it up, after all.
“Yes, and with an IUD and a condom, the likelihood of pregnancy is minuscule, but there’s still a chance, and this isn’t negotiable for me. Not having vaginal sex is the surest way of making sure I don’t make a baby until and unless I’m absolutely ready.”
“Your mom raised you. You visited your dad in the summer.” She got it, but it felt like they needed to completely discuss this before they moved on, so she gave him a prompt.
“Yes, and it killed my dad that he couldn’t be there for me. My mom moved us to another city specifically to keep him out of my life as much as possible. She hated my dad more than she loved me. Revenge against him was more important than what was best for me, and I never want my child to be put into that kind of situation. I’m not saying you would, or that we’ll never get there, but a lot has to happen before we do.”
Heather moved towards Marcus and went up on her knees to kiss him on the cheek. “Okay. I get it. It won’t be the last time we talk about it, but I’m good with it for now.”
Marcus put his arm around her and kissed her on the forehead. “Thank you for understanding.”
“Hey, we’ve all got our baggage we carry around. This just proves you’re human, after all.”
Kyle spoke from his side of the tub. “We’re supposed to be at the ranch in forty-five minutes, and it’ll take at least thirty minutes to drive, so we should probably get dressed.”
Heather grabbed a bar of soap and spent a few minutes soaping up and rinsing off. It seemed silly to have run a bath to only spend ten minutes in it, but it seemed to have done the job of facilitating their conversation, so she didn’t say anything.
She wrapped a towel around herself when she exited the tub, and moved to the sink to get ready.
When she finished brushing her teeth, Marcus said, “Tell me more about your ranch, and the guy who runs it for you. I’m assuming you think he’s pretty damned trustworthy, so I imagine the two of you are close.”
“Jonah’s great. There was a house on the land when I bought it, and I originally intended to live there. I thought I’d make the Collegedale airport my base of operations, but the reality is that most of my passengers prefer to fly in and out of the Chattanooga airport, so living in Apison wasn’t ideal. Anyway, Jonah lives in the house, though I still have a bedroom in it, and he doesn’t mind me staying over occasionally. I always let him know ahead of time though, because I don’t want him to feel like he’s living in my house, even though I guess technically that’s the case. Anyway, you’re asking how close we are, and I trust him with my horses.” She shrugged. “Doesn’t get much bigger than that.”