Protector Daddy by Taryn Quinn

TWELVE

The nightI’d spent with Honey after our hayride for two and romantic dinner at The Hummingbird’s Nest had been one for the record books.

If either of us had roleplayed as virgins, we would’ve failed spectacularly by the end of the night.

But it had been almost two weeks since then—two amazing weeks—and right now, those stolen moments snuggling with Honey while we rode through the woods in the crisp air seemed too far away.

Especially now that the cold had turned to threatening snow. And now Reagan moving here theoretically seemed more real than ever.

“I’ll be in town on Saturday. Can I still stay with you? Or maybe I can stay with Gigi and Gramps or I can book a hotel? Short notice I know,” Reagan exhaled heavily, “but Mom has been…a lot with all this wedding crap.”

Times like this I really hated not having my own office. Most of the time I didn’t mind being in the center of the action, such as it was, by having my desk in the bullpen. But private calls were definitely better held in a room with walls and doors that locked. Soundproofing would help too.

“Of course you can stay with me.” I lowered my voice. “I have plenty of room. I’ve wanted you to see my place.”

Sure, why not? The monthly family dinner had been rescheduled to this upcoming weekend due to my brother Travis the model’s shoot running long in the city. It had been almost two weeks since the first Sunday we were supposed to have dinner and he still wasn’t home.

Who knew if he’d really be back by this Sunday? But he was riding back here with our other brother Penn who lived in the city so he probably would keep to the schedule.

Most likely.

Just perfect timing for me to introduce my nearly grown daughter to my family who had never heard of her. And my…Honey. Just Honey. Though the nearly grown daughter part of the equation might negate the my part.

Honey already filled so many of my days in such a short time. Since Halloween, we’d spent more time together than not after those first confusing gossip-filled days. She was doing a few shifts at the police station a week, with the duration increasing as she became more comfortable. Afterward, we’d go out to eat or make dinner at my house or her apartment and watch movies.

Almost every night we had sex. Lots and lots of sex. And we spent the night in each other’s arms and usually woke up in a tangle—unless I was too hot and got up to prowl when my thoughts became too much.

We’d gone to The Spinning Wheel to play pool one night and besides the occasional whispers and interested glances, we’d been ignored for the most part. Which was just fine by us. She’d mentioned hanging out with Mickey, a double date with her latest guy, but it hadn’t happened yet. I was hoping to bring Honey to a Broadway show in the city later in the month, and of course the holidays were coming up…

This Sunday dinner was the last one before Thanksgiving.

Holidays were big things for couples. A time to get closer or to grow further apart. Just how was I supposed to tell Honey she’d be meeting the daughter I’d hidden from everyone with literally no notice?

Who just happened to be not much younger than she was?

The shithole I’d dug for myself was getting deeper all the time. But that wasn’t Reagan’s fault. I’d be damned if I let her be touched by any of this mess.

“Reagan?” I asked softly into the silence. Had I heard a sniffle?

“Are you sure, Dad? I don’t want to put you out. I know you’re not sure I should be doing this. I mean, moving for school. And for you.” Her voice sounded small.

Not at all like the usual boisterous girl I was so proud of despite no one on the planet having any clue she was mine.

Just her and her mother, who was now marrying her “soulmate” Kyle she’d met online and planning to move across the country.

I braced my head in my hand and worked to keep my voice level. “I’m absolutely sure you know your own mind. I’m definitely sure I can’t wait to see you. You really think you’re going to travel several hours to come here and then stay in a hotel?” I ignored her mention of Gigi and Gramps. Ignoring Penelope’s parents fit their treatment of me for all these years. “I have a couple of spare bedrooms so there’s plenty of room for you.”

“Thanks.” Her smile came through the line loud and clear.

“I’d like for you to meet someone though. Well, a bunch of someones actually.” I let out an awkward laugh. “Your grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins. But I realize that might be a little overwhelming all at once, so that’s totally up to you. But maybe Grandma’s—” and how weird was that to say, “—famous chicken pot pie will help sweeten the deal.”

“No, I want to meet them. Your family’s really big, right? Chicken pot pie is my favorite. Mom’s is always from a box.”

“Don’t ever say such blasphemous words around Grandma. She’s all about home-cooking, all the way. She would never so much as buy a single frozen dinner.”

I wouldn’t mention the stack of exactly that in my freezer. What my mother didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her.

I hadn’t inherited the skill for cooking like Murphy. Hell, even Penn could whip up a mean shrimp scampi. Travis was as useless in the kitchen as I was. I had one or two meals I could make in a pinch and had a signature pie. Period.

Thank God Honey was a whiz when it came to both cooking and baking. We would never starve with her around.

You think this is more than temporary? Even if there was a chance it was, your almost adult daughter will put the end to that. Honey’s at a different place in her life right now.

Reagan giggled. “Okay, gotcha. Message received. So I can’t tell her how I’ve been nuking my own Hot Pockets for breakfast for years?”

“No.” I frowned. “Your mom doesn’t make your breakfast?”

“I’m seventeen, Dad. I’ve been dressing myself for years too.”

Every time she so offhandedly called me Dad my stomach twisted. I wanted that so badly. I wanted to be her father in all the ways that counted and out in the light, not in the shadows. The only reason I hadn’t shouted it from the rooftops already and damn the promise I’d made to her mother was due to Reagan. I didn’t want to put her in the middle of our drama and cause her one moment’s pain. She was the first person I thought of when I woke and the last I thought of when I slept just as she had been since her birth 17 and a half years ago.

My baby was almost eighteen. Almost legally an adult even when she’d never ever been officially my child.

“I know you are, sweetheart.” My eyes smarted and I tipped my head back, staring up at the pinprick lights in the ceiling until my vision wavered. And the wetness dissipated. “But you’ll always be my baby.”

I turned my head at the flash of tan the color of our uniforms. My throat tightened at the fury locking Maverick’s jaw.

Fucking A. So much for hoping not to be overheard.

Getting sloppy. You know better to keep your voice down—or better yet, not talk about any of this here.

But my secrets were spilling out all over the place now. It wasn’t possible to keep the lid on them any longer.

“I have to go. Work stuff. I’ll call you later, okay?”

“Okay. Bye, Dad. Love you.”

My options were to just hang up and possibly hurt my daughter or to respond as I always did. We’d been ending every conversation with I love you for the better part of a year now. I couldn’t risk hurting her—even if that meant I’d lose Honey.

I knew as well as I knew my own name that Mav would run to her with what he thought he’d heard, thinking he was being a good big brother.

Maybe he was. Maybe I’d had no business ever getting mixed up with Honey and not only because it had been totally unethical and unprofessional to start making out with a job interview candidate.

But I’d face that transgression in my thoughts yet again later after I dealt with this one.

I didn’t look away from Mav. This time, I didn’t lower my voice. “Love you,” I murmured before I ended the call.

“You bastard.” At his sides, he fisted his hands. “That damn well didn’t sound as if you were talking to your sister.”

“No.” My gaze landed on Jimmy, currently sitting at his desk to file a report. He didn’t make any secret of his curiosity. Jared was in back in his office, and Honey’s shift had just ended a half hour ago, so Miranda was at the Dispatch desk. Small favors. “Can we step out?”

“I should say no. You don’t even deserve that courtesy.” But he strode ahead and out the front door, letting it bang in his wake.

Following him felt as if I was a dog trotting behind with my tail between my legs. I hadn’t done anything wrong—well, I had, but not the wrong he thought. And not a wrong any different than his recent one.

Only difference was his baby’s mother wanted him in their child’s life. So maybe that was on me too, that I hadn’t been enough for Penelope. I’d certainly tried to be. In the end, I’d fallen short and the best thing I could do for her was what I’d done.

Give her plenty of distance.

I walked around the side of the building. Mav was leaning against it, his booted foot propped against the brick, his balled fist tapping against his thigh. “Just tell me what’s the point.”

“Of what?” I asked warily. I still wasn’t sure he wouldn’t throw a punch.

If I was thinking what he must be, I wouldn’t blame him. I’d probably do a lot worse to a guy I assumed was cheating on my baby sister.

“She’s been so happy lately. Maybe some of it’s the new job, but c’mon, we know somehow some way it’s you. You’ve made her smile in a way I’ve never seen. And while I absolutely do not get how or why, it’s not my place to figure it out. Until now. Who the fuck were you telling you loved, man?” His eyes slitted. “I know it’s not Honey because she just left here. So you better get talking.”

I made myself meet his furious gaze. “My daughter Reagan.”

His brow furrowed. “How did you get a daughter?”

I barked out a laugh. Considering my obvious lack of a social life for so many years, it was a reasonable question. But once upon a time, I hadn’t had a problem in that department. I’d had plenty of girlfriends in high school. Some might say even more than my share. Back then, I was the starting quarterback on the football team and never lacked for female attention.

Then I’d fallen for Penelope Conner and everything changed.

“High school girlfriend,” I said shortly. I’d never intended to tell Mav first. I owed that information to Honey and my family first. But here we were. “Her mother raised her.”

The wrinkles between his brow deepened. “You didn’t want to be involved?”

Laughing again was the only thing I could do so I didn’t put my fist through the brick wall. “I wanted to marry her. Bought the ring, gave her the speech. She didn’t want to marry me or to be tied down with a child. She was too young. She wanted to be free. So we made an agreement that she’d keep the baby if I agreed to give her and the child their space. Her parents were rich and important. My family was blue collar in the extreme. I agreed to her terms.”

“Fucking A, what a bitch.”

I said nothing. At this point, it was very turbulent water under the bridge.

“Then what?” he prompted.

I gave him a sidelong glance. “That wasn’t enough for you?”

“Not when you’re…” he coughed, “dating my sister. What happened after that?”

“She doubled up on classes and tested out early with her high school diploma. She moved across the state and had the baby in Buffalo. She sent me some pictures.”

“Oh, how nice of her. And you tolerated that shit?”

“I’d made an agreement that I felt I had to keep. The baby was here. She was healthy and from all accounts, happy.” I tucked my fists under my armpits to keep myself still. Even now, the rage at what I’d been dumb enough to agree to boiled under my skin like lava. “I was eighteen. Worked at Robbie’s pizza joint. What did I know about raising a baby?”

Except I’d known more about raising kids than a lot of my peers at that age. I had two younger brothers and a younger sister. I’d always been hands-on with them because of our busy household. My mom sometimes needed help with the younger kids, and I’d usually enjoyed spending time with them.

Well, most of the time, unless bodily fluids including excessive tears were involved. And sometimes my brothers wanted to tag along with me when I just wanted to catch a movie or play touch football with my friends. But overall, I’d never minded kids.

And I sure as fuck had wanted my own.

Mav narrowed his eyes as he tapped his boot against the wall. “Isn’t your family like the Brady Bunch?”

I had to laugh. “Not exactly.”

“But you weren’t clueless about kids, man.”

“Look, I wasn’t given a choice, okay? I did what I felt I had to do. And Reagan has grown up so great. She’s a straight A student, plays piano, wants to major in Broadcast Journalism in college so she can maybe be an on-air reporter someday. I might hate all the years I missed with her, but I’m grateful she nosed around in her mother’s personal papers one day and found a ripped out yearbook page with my name and picture with a heart.”

A dagger would’ve been more appropriate since she’d ripped out my damn heart.

“And then what?”

“Reagan looked me up and called me.”

“And asked you if you were her daddy?”

The waning sun as sunset approached seared my eyes so I closed them. I was sure that wasn’t the only cause of my sudden headache. “You’re not far off. Her mom wouldn’t answer any questions about it, so she decided to ask someone else. She found her birth certificate in the safe deposit box.”

“Oh, Jesus. She found your name on it?”

“No. The father’s name was blank. So since I’d been her mom’s junior prom date, she guessed maybe…” I thunked my head against the brick. It did nothing to alleviate my pain, either emotional or now physical. But it did bring clarity. “I owe this story to Honey and my family before you. You understand.”

“I don’t understand how any woman could do this to the father of her child.”

I tucked my hands in my pockets. What was I supposed to say to that?

“But I appreciate you’re going to tell my sister. She’s only twenty-four and if she sticks with you, what, she’ll become a mother figure to a woman almost her own age?” Slowly, Mav shook his head. “Long distance no less.”

“Not so long distance. Reagan’s mom is getting married and moving cross-country so Reagan wants to move here for college.” I gave him a thin smile. “But if it’s any consolation, I doubt Honey is in for all that at her age.”

“Holy shit. Honey is going to be blindsided.”

“I’ll tell her as gently as I can. I’m not going to make it hard for her. If she wants to end things, I’ll accept it.”

“And if she doesn’t? Then what? Instant family?”

“I guess we will see how things go.” Voicing the very thing that kept me up at night burned my throat. “I’m hoping to introduce her to Reagan this Sunday when I bring her to my family dinner. And I’m hoping like hell she doesn’t want to give up on us. She matters to me, Mav, a hell of a lot.”