Protector Daddy by Taryn Quinn

FOURTEEN

It had beena pisser of a day.

First, I’d spent over seven hours waiting for a suspected smuggler to attempt to move his stolen goods so I could catch him in the act and nab the predicate felon before he carted the goods across state lines.

Instead, I’d acted on the tip that he was preparing to move so I’d called on Brady for backup before we’d invaded the motel room—only to find it empty of both the perp and the goods. He’d somehow snuck out hours ago, heading for parts unknown.

And in the middle of sweeping the area, Brady had decided to remind me once again that he had his eye on me regarding his sister and I’d better watch my step. For all I knew, Mav had shared with him what I’d told him in confidence. I wouldn’t be surprised.

The whole day had been a waste.

Sleeping with my colleagues’ sister had been…a choice. I didn’t regret it. But holy shit, it caused me issues.

Good thing she was more than worth it.

When we got back to the station, Miranda was still manning the Dispatch desk. “Went home sick,” she announced as I stopped beside her chair.

I frowned. Honey hadn’t seemed at all sick this morning. “Went home sick meant she came in at some point?”

“Yeah, just long enough to take off with Mav for lunch. Then she called in and swapped shifts with me for Sunday.” She shrugged.

“Sunday?” I felt like my frown was permanently etched into my face at this point. “What time Sunday?”

Was that her way of getting out of dinner with my folks and the rest of the assembled Mastersons? Never knew who would show up until the final head count although most of us did our best to be there so we didn’t disappoint Mom.

Including your daughter.

Thanksgiving was in just a few days and there would be no getting out of that event unless you had to work or suffered some kind of injury that involved blood. So I half expected Travis to claim at the last minute he had some VIP shindig he just couldn’t miss.

He was the least into the whole family deal despite his young daughter. She either stayed with her mother when she was in town—she was also a model, though mostly locally—or she took her homework on the road with her father.

Even with his slightly vagabond lifestyle, Trav knew his daughter far more than I did my own.

“Early shift,” Miranda said vaguely as she typed quickly and consulted a clipboard. “Short one. She got the better end of the deal.”

“Thanks.” On my way back to my desk, I pulled out my phone to check it once more. I’d been focused on watching the motel room so I’d purposely turned off my phone, figuring I’d see Honey when I got back to the station. Not so much.

So strange she’d gotten sick all of a sudden. I hoped she was okay. I’d just catch up on paperwork here and see if I could head out. Maybe I’d grab her some soup on the drive home.

Or no, she’d probably be at her apartment, which meant I could leave my vehicle in the lot here and walk down the street. The diner should still be open and I’d grab some of the chicken tortilla soup she loved.

I had a couple of texts waiting for me. One from Reagan, one from Honey, and one from my mother.

I opened Reagan’s first.

Reagan

I got here a day early to see Gigi & Gramps. I’ve been checking out the town. So quaint. I’m gonna do another tour of Syracuse U tomorrow. Thought mebbe you’d want to go with? Is ten okay? Figured I’d drop off my bags then hit the college? LMK.

Quaint was definitely the word for the Cove. College visits. God. There was something very weird about going on a college visit with the child I’d never gotten to take to her first day of kindergarten.

Absolutely. That works for me. I’m sure Gigi and Gramps were happy to see you.

I sent that text and then my fingers paused over the screen. I wanted to ask if she’d told them she was staying with me for the day, but I decided I didn’t want to know.

She’d made it clear she hadn’t told her mother about getting in contact with me to minimize drama. As far as I knew, she’d kept that promise for the last two years.

But her mother wasn’t stupid. She had to wonder why Reagan had chosen to attend Syracuse University, although its Newhouse School of Journalism had a great reputation and her grandparents were close by.

Both sets, although mine didn’t count in Penelope’s mind.

Swallowing hard, I texted Reagan again.

Look, I have someone I want you to meet beside my parents and siblings. Well, and your cousins too.

Reagan’s response was immediate.

Reagan

Oh, yeah? Who?

My girlfriend Honey.

She sent back a ton of smiley face emojis.

Reagan

Girlfriend? Ooh la la. Sure. I’m up for that.

I exhaled, a ton of bricks dropping from my tense shoulders. Well, at least some of the bricks dropped. I just wanted them to like each other. I wanted to not freak out Honey. I wanted not to lose her.

That I wanted most of all.

Oh, and I wanted my family to be able to find a way to understand what I’d hidden from them and for them to love Reagan and Honey as I did.

So, yeah, plenty of the bricks remained. And I couldn’t even worry that I’d used the term love with Honey in my mind, because who the fuck was I kidding? I’d fallen for her the very first night. Every night since we’d spent together had just made my feelings more intense.

I sent another quick text.

There’s something else.

Reagan replied right away.

Reagan

Are you in love with her?

My face heated. As if that was my only concern. And I should be telling Honey this first but no part of this scenario had played out the way I’d hoped.

Yeah, I am.

Reagan

Does she love you back?

I don’t know. We’re still new. But she’s young, Rea. Not much older than you.

I didn’t even blink at the shocked face emojis that flooded my screen.

Reagan

How old is she?

24.

Reagan

Oh, good, I was afraid she was like eighteen or something.

The back of my neck was positively on fire now.

I hated this new flushing habit I’d developed. I hoped I lost it soon.

For years, I’d been a stern, incapable-of-looking-embarrassed cop. Now I was flushing as often or more than my brother Murphy. And he didn’t do it much anymore.

I blamed Honey for this new development. Same reason I smiled and laughed so much nowadays. And also had the focus of a high school student about to graduate. She filled all my thoughts.

Because I was in love with her. Of course. How had it taken until this moment for me to fully grasp it?

Probably because your life is full of denial.

I blew out a breath and answered.

She’ll be 25 in the spring.

Reagan

Robbing the cradle, huh, Dad?

I didn’t answer that because I felt that way myself. But I couldn’t stop myself from wanting—and loving—Honey any more than I could keep my heart from beating.

She’s very mature for her age.

Reagan

Sure, sure.

I hope you like each other. I just really want you two to get along.

Reagan replied right away.

Reagan

If you love her, I bet I will too. Will she be at the family dinner?

I wasn’t blushing now. Now I was fucking misty-eyed again. What were these women in my life doing to me?

Yeah, I think so. But I’m hoping you can meet her tomorrow at my house. Not sure yet. I have to talk to her.

Reagan

Okay. I’ll be there by ten. Gigi made cinnamon rolls so I’m gonna go have one while they’re warm.

Sounds good. Love you. Night, sweetheart.

Reagan

Love you. Night, Dad.

I pressed my phone against my chest until my heartbeat leveled. That one word would forever be my undoing. It still floored me she said it so easily. That she accepted me calling her sweetheart and moving into the role I’d thought I never would.

Not just with Reagan, but period. Not with another child either. I’d been single for so long that I’d accepted that part of life was closed off to me.

Now I’d begun to start thinking things I probably shouldn’t. I didn’t know Honey’s long-term plans. We hadn’t even been together a month yet. I was jumping the gun.

But she made me want things. As stubborn as the hope growing inside me was, I wasn’t about to pressure her. If her thoughts were tracking in any way similar to mine, she would let me know.

Especially regarding Reagan. I didn’t intend to influence Honey’s decisions. It was all going to be her choice.

Quickly, I replied to my mom that we’d be there Sunday, a little early if possible. I wanted to talk to her and my father about Reagan in private first. But before I could do that, I had to talk to Honey. Talk about bad timing if she was sick, but it couldn’t be helped.

Because you delayed far too long, jackass.

I read Honey’s text last.

Honey

Hey sorry, I had to bail on work. Just felt sick all of a sudden. I’ll be fine. Just be careful today, okay? What is this stakeout business? Don’t make me worry about you. If you get back late, don’t worry about stopping by unless you want to. Xo

I didn’t even consider she wanted her space. Just needed to take care of her.

I’m bringing you soup. It’s a cold, raw night out there so I hope you’re covered in blankets and getting your rest.

Only after I sent the text did I consider she was brushing me off. Politely, but still the same. But I still wanted to see with my own eyes she was okay. I had to.

“Looks who’s finally back,” Mav said, sitting on the corner of my desk.

Inwardly, I groaned. “Do you need something? I’ve got paperwork to take care of and then I’m heading out to bring Honey some soup.”

He tapped his fingers on my blotter. “Just so you know I told her about Reagan,” he said in a low voice.

I dropped in my chair. “What? Why?”

Although the cowardly part of me was grateful he’d broken the ice about the subject. I hadn’t relished doing that at all.

Was that what was really behind her sickness? She didn’t want to deal with me?

“How did she take it?”

“Take a guess.”

I leaned back in my chair. “Fuck, I’ve messed every bit of this up.”

“It’s not all your fault. I don’t know what I’d do if I knew I had a kid that I couldn’t raise. That her mother didn’t want me around.” He wouldn’t meet my eyes. “I’m not saying I agree with you keeping it from my sister, but I get why you didn’t announce it on the first date.”

“Especially since we didn’t really start with a first date.”

He held up a hand. “Look, I’m giving you an inch. Don’t think you can take a yard.”

“Noted. I really care about her.” When Mav slanted me a glance, I hissed out a breath. “Actually, care doesn’t really cover it but I’ve had a long day and I don’t feel like going to see her with a black eye.”

“You think I’d give you a black eye for being in love with my sister? More like I’d give you a black eye if you weren’t in love with her and were leading her on.”

“I’ve tried not to do that. She’s so young and I don’t want my needs to box her in.”

“Do not even go there, pal. These chat sessions do not mean I want to be clued in to your freaky sex games.”

I didn’t mean to laugh. I shouldn’t have. But it rolled out of me as if my life wasn’t one shitstorm after another. “I didn’t mean that way. I’d say in that department we are just fine.”

“Pushing it, Masterson.” But I didn’t miss his smirk.

“I just want her to be free to do whatever she wants. I don’t want to pressure her.” I lowered my voice. “Starting a new relationship then announcing ‘hey, guess what, I have a kid’ isn’t fair to her.”

“What you dealt with wasn’t fair to you either but you handled it. Not necessarily the way I would have but you stood up and did what you thought was best. Trust Honey to do the same. Even if you tried to ‘box her in’ she wouldn’t allow it for long. I know my sister. She’s got brass balls and a spine to match.”

I stared out the window across from my desk at the blur of snow beyond the glass. It had been falling on and off all day. “She’s already here,” I said softly. “Reagan. Staying overnight with her grandparents.”

“Yeah.” Mav scratched his beardy jaw. “I met her at Macy’s. Sort of.”

“And you didn’t lead with that? How?”

“She came in for a coffee. I was there for lunch with Honey. She said her name and my eyes almost fell out of my head. She doesn’t look like you, man.”

“No. I know. But she’s so beautiful. So tall and strong and smart.” I dropped my head into my hands. “I’m fucking this up. I’m already going to lose her. I know it.”

“Which her are we talking about?”

“Take your pick. Probably both.” I hated the weakness I heard in my own voice but I’d been operating under this weight for so long that I couldn’t seem to stop spilling to Mav.

I’d never had anyone to talk to about it. And it turned out I really needed a friend.

Even if Mav would never be my friend voluntarily. I couldn’t even blame him.

“You probably hate me. I drove your wife crazy for months.”

“You did. But she is shit at parking. She accepts it.” He shrugged. “Look, I’m not your biggest fan. Never have been. Doesn’t mean I think you’re Satan either.”

“Gee, thanks.” I managed to smile. “I appreciate the talk.”

“Were we talking? Felt more like sniping.”

“Close enough. But you don’t have to worry about me not taking care of your sister. That’s all I want to do.”

“Good.” His jaw tightened. “She needs you to be strong. Remember that.”

Before I could question him further, he strode away to bust Jimmy’s chops about something I couldn’t make out. They’d already become fast friends.

Everyone liked Jimmy. No one called him an asshole behind his back—or to his face.

I wrote up my reports and filed them and logged off the system, finally finishing with everything over an hour later. By the time I picked up my order at The Rusty Spoon, it was closer to ten pm than nine and the snow was now sticking heavily to the roads.

I pulled up my collar against the relentless wind and hurried across the street to Honey’s building, wishing I’d remembered to take my gloves off the dashboard. Honey always chided me about forgetting them.

Damn, I missed her. It hadn’t even been twelve hours since I’d seen her and the need to see her face, hear her voice, bask in her laughter, was like a physical ache.

I went in through the side entrance then took the stairs to her floor two at a time. She’d given me a key but I still knocked when I came to her door. And knocked again.

She didn’t answer. Maybe she was sleeping? I decided to use my key, easing the door open to her darkened apartment. Some sitcom repeat was on and the light from the TV shifted over her face where she was curled up on the couch, her hands tucked under her cheek on the cushion as if she was a sleeping angel.

Love slammed into me with such ferocity that my throat constricted.

I made myself go into her small galley kitchen and put away the soup and crusty rolls for later even though my stomach protested violently. I’d missed dinner and I probably could’ve eaten the soup and rolls all by myself. But I settled for a couple handfuls of chips while I stood at the counter and watched her sleep like a creeper.

You’ve got it bad, dude.

After I took care of business in the bathroom, including a quick shower, I came back into the living room to find her already eating the dinner I’d brought her. She sat cross-legged on the sofa, her long hair in twin braids, her clothes a deceptively simple tank top and boxers.

“Are those boxers mine?”

She glanced at her lap and shrugged. “Maybe. You’re wet.”

“I am. Needed to wash the day off.”

“Why are you so far away?”

I jerked a shoulder. “Didn’t know if you wanted space.” Great. I hadn’t meant to say that.

“Why would I want space?” She shoveled in soup then stopped and wiped her mouth with a paper napkin. “Because you have a daughter I didn’t know about?”

I didn’t know what to say. So I said nothing.

Typical. When I didn’t know the right words, I didn’t speak at all. No wonder people called me an asshole. But I needed to find them for her.

“I wanted to tell you. I didn’t know how.”

“I know,” she said gently.

“You do?”

“I didn’t get there right away. I had a pretty good head of mad going for a while. It wasn’t like we hadn’t had time in between the hours of sex every night.”

“To be fair, I’m pretty attached to those hours of sex.”

“Yeah, well, me too, but I don’t just want you for your dick.”

“You sure about that?” My tone was teasing but there was some truth in the question. Not that I had a problem with the very physical side of our relationship. Just I already wanted so much more and Honey might not be in the same place yet. And that meant I had to be patient—if I could.

Reagan changed the ball game in a lot of ways.

“As sure as I am you don’t just want me for my tits.”

I was basically a pig so my gaze dropped to the body part in question. Honey had absolutely stupendous breasts and that tight tank top hid nothing. “Depends when you ask me. They’re a damn good cherry on top.”

“They are.” She set aside her empty soup bowl and the plate that now held only crumbs. “And I feel like we really need to talk.”

“We do.”

“But we also really need to fuck. And that may just be me and if so, I own it. But since your daughter is going to be at your place tomorrow, this is our last night to not have to worry if I scream.”

I was already circling around the counter to go to her. She was basically a magnet radiating heat and I needed to feel her in my arms. Around me, squeezing my cock until I couldn’t breathe.

“She’s not moving in.” And much as I wanted more time with Reagan, I couldn’t deny I was glad we didn’t have to navigate that particular minefield right now. I had enough to contend with to lose the one unmitigated bright spot in my life.

Especially when I had a ton of stress to relieve.

“No. But I don’t know how to be quiet when you’re inside me.” She waited until I stopped before her on the couch and reached for my boxers with avarice burning in her gorgeous dark eyes. “About the only thing that keeps me quiet is this in my mouth.”

“Or when I put my hand over it while I’m fucking you from behind.”

“That too,” she said breathlessly, looking up at me innocently from her seated position. Need pulsed through me so strongly that my cock jerked even without her touching me yet. Her fingers clamped on my hips. “Where do you want me?”

“Everywhere. Anywhere. Jesus, Honey, what are you doing to me?”

“Nothing, right now. But give me a few minutes…” She rose up on her knees on the sofa and started to pull her tank over her head.

“Wait. Wait.” I shut my eyes. “This isn’t how I meant to do this. I wanted to explain. Wanted to feed you soup and hold you and kiss your forehead until you were feeling better.”

Her hands dropped. “You did?”

“Of course I did. What kind of man do you think I am?”

“I haven’t had any complaints about the man you are, Christian. Far from it. I just need you. I need to touch you.” She leaned forward to touch her forehead to my chest. “Today was hard.”

“Baby, I know. I’m sorry. I’ve done all of this so wrong. I just didn’t expect to have you in my life. And then Reagan…”

“Not just that. Though that rocked me, I gotta admit.” She lifted her face to mine and her eyes were pure liquid. Not so much as a teardrop fell, but my chest twisted just the same. “I’m scared.”

I cupped her cheek. “What? Why?”

“So many reasons.” She dipped her head and still those tears somehow didn’t fall, as if she knew they would break me so she kept them in check. “Reagan is beautiful. Her smile is yours.”

“You think so?”

“I know so. I’ve looked at it so many times.” She traced her fingertip along my lips. “It’s the same as yours. I wish I saw it more.”

“Oh, Honey, if you only knew. I didn’t ever smile before you. It’s been so long since I wanted to. You’ve brought so much to me, and it’s not just this.” I gestured wildly at her and me. “It’s so much more. If you want to touch me, we don’t have to get naked. We’re about so much other than that. If you don’t realize that, if I didn’t make that clear to you before this—”

“It’s not your fault. It’s just the sand is shifting under my feet and everything is changing and I’m not ready.” She linked her arms around my neck and fumbled for my mouth with her own, her lips clinging to mine.

Though it pained me to move back, I did. I bent my knees so I could look directly in her beautiful, tragic eyes. “I don’t want to rush you. That’s the last thing I want. So if this is all too much, just tell me and we’ll back off. We’ll just date. Like normal people. I’m not sure how but you probably know. You don’t have to even think about Reagan if you’re not there yet.”

She shook her head and the tears finally fell, cleaving through me as surely as if she’d hacked at me with a blade. “You have to deal with it so I do too. You’ve done all this alone for all these years. She wouldn’t even let you have your own daughter.” She screwed her eyes shut and the tears kept coming, tracking down her cheeks.

I’d never seen her cry before. Not even a hint of it. And now that she was…she was crying for me?

“I would never do that to you,” she whispered as I tried to process what was happening. “Never. No matter what.”

“I know that. Of course I know that. You’re a whole different person. Honey, it was a long time ago. Don’t feel bad for me. I was the one who made a baby with her. So if I picked so badly…well, that’s on me. I fucking messed up. But Reagan is sweet and smart and perfect, so her mother did one thing right. And I’ve done something right that I have you. Somehow.”

“You do have me. I’m not going anywhere.”

I cupped her damp cheeks and pressed a kiss to her forehead then her mouth. “I love you.” I shuddered when her lips trembled under mine. “And here I am telling you we can just date and then I say that…but it’s true, baby. I can’t keep it inside any longer. But you don’t have to love me back right away. You don’t have to do anything that doesn’t feel right.”

Her smile was a balm to the ache in my chest. “As if I could stop.” She kissed me back and it was everything I hadn’t realized I needed after today.

All the worry and stress and heavy thoughts I’d carried for so long melted away under her lips. She wrapped herself around me and I picked her up as if she weighed nothing. All arms and legs, a little gangly with it to go with the curves that slayed me so effortlessly. Every bit of her in my embrace felt perfect.

As if I could carry her forever.

“Where are you taking me?” she asked between kisses, spicy from the soup I’d brought her mixed with the cherry sweetness of her lip gloss.

“You’ll see.”

She assumed her bedroom I’m sure, but that wasn’t where I was headed. I made my way to her rarely used tiny balcony, unlocking it and carrying her out into the relentless snow. She laughed dazedly and kicked her bare legs to remind me she wasn’t exactly dressed for winter. Me neither. The wind kicked snow into our faces and she laughed, not the least bit dismayed that her boyfriend was clearly a nut.

From up here, we had the perfect view of Crescent Lake. The owl windchime strung up from the eaves danced madly, giving us music to go with the wild wind. Snow slanted down into the choppy water, shimmering over the Christmas lights strung up around the gazebo beside the lake.

The holidays were stampeding our way, no matter how we might want to hit the pause button and stop time so we could savor it.

“I love you,” I murmured against her cold lips, making them warm with my own.

And with all the chaos surrounding us, that was the only thing that mattered.