All the Wrong Choices by C.A. Harms

Chapter Twenty-Four

Danielle

"Aren't you a miserable twit,"I don't even look at Gina but instead toss the couch pillow at her head. Even though she attempts to dodge it, it still bounces off her cheek, which gives me little satisfaction. "Bitch," she adds.

There isn't too much ground I have to stand on. I've been in a mood for days. I have no one to blame but myself. All I can hope for is it will soon pass.

There is a small light at the end of the tunnel. With the end of the school year approaching, I'll have my summer to get over the funk. I'll never say it aloud, but the loss of what was happening with Jonah hurt more than losing Matt. That should have been all I needed to get my head out of my ass, but I am a stupid bitch, and I don't know why but I can't bring myself to admit I may have been wrong.

"You do know you screwed up, right?" Again, I ignore her. She's been here for a few hours, and honestly, I think the only reason she stopped by was to make me feel more miserable.

And Addison, I can't remember a time in my life when she and I were at the opposite ends of anything. But this is a rough one. She won't admit it, but I know she's mad at me, or she thinks I'm a complete and total idiot, which I am. Add in the fact that she's practically living with Jonah's best friend, and it makes an awkward situation even worse. Molly, well, she made absolutely no effort in hiding her disappointment in me.

I believe her words were, I don't feel sorry for you, you had a great guy, and you were dumb enough to let Matthew and Cathryn hold you back. Keep letting them win. Yeah, that's smart.

Gina's right. I'm a miserable twit.

"Let's go get tacos," Gina pushes up off the couch and tugs on the pant leg of my lounge pants. I make no effort to move. "Hello, taco's woman, they make everyone feel better."

"I'm not hungry."

"Then you can sit your skanky ass in the booth across from me and watch me enjoy mine."

"I don't want to get dressed," I'm prepared to throw her one excuse after another.

"Then don't. It's not like you're searching for a guy or anything. It shouldn't matter if you look like a hideous cat lady who hasn't bathed in more than a week."

I look up and glare at her, "I've bathed."

"You have?" She scans over me, wrinkling her nose in the process. "Did you use soap? And when was the last time you brushed your hair?"

The asshole of the bunch is who I have left. I didn't just toss away Jonah like he was a piece of meat. I've managed to lose my entire support system in the process. In a group of friends, there is always an array of attitudes and opinions. Addison is the voice of reason. She is the one who holds me up even when I don't think it will get better and I've hit rock bottom. Molly is self-absorbed, the silly one that has a hard time taking anything seriously until there is no way out of it. Then she is the first person to call you out on your mistakes. Rachel, well, she is flighty. Rarely can she focus on anything for more than five minutes and never has anything important to add to the conversation. She's the go with the flow, agree to whatever everyone else wants, girl. She is the follower.

And then there is Gina, she is bitchy, and demanding, she is loud and crude, but she is also fierce and the one you want on your side when everything goes to shit. She will lead the battle and fight like hell to keep everyone else out of the line of fire, even if it means she takes the fall for anything and everything.

"Stop moping," she pushes my leg, and it falls off the edge of the coffee table. "You don't get to pout and act like the heartbroken stranded lovesick girl. What in the hell is wrong with you? You're the one who ended it, not him. You could have had it all, but you thought it was too much."

"Are you done?"

"I'm far from done, but to be honest, I don't plan on spending my entire afternoon reminding you while you let your life waste away. Your ex and your sister are building a life, creating a family, and making memories."

"Harsh," it doesn't hurt anymore when someone reminds me Matthew and my sister are together and about to have a baby.

"But it is the truth; they win, your sister, she wins just like she always has. She got the guy, and she's getting the baby in the big house on the hill. She's got your parents believing she does no wrong, and you're the one who is letting her win." I don't argue.

"I don't feel sorry for you," she adds, and I swallow past the lump that has formed in my throat. "I feel sad for you." Tears prick my eyes, and I look away, trying to hide my emotions.

"Somewhere along the way, Dani, you shut down, you stopped believing you deserve happiness, and instead, you settled. You settled years ago when you pretended what you had with Matt made you feel complete. You settled when you said you'd marry his pathetic ass, and you settled when you created the fucked up idea you and Jonah were nothing more than sex."

I stand, needing to get away from her, needing to breathe and maybe break down in private. But Gina doesn't ease up. It isn't in her nature. Instead, she trails behind me, and when I attempt to shut the door to the bathroom, she puts her foot in the way to stop it. Bracing her hand on the center of the door, she stares at me.

"I love you, Dani. We all do, but we all also think you're screwing up your life. And if we can't tell you that, if we can't be honest, then what kind of friendship do we truly have?"

Biting the inner part of my lip, I breathe through my nose, hoping the tears pooling in my eyes don't fall.

"You feel something for him, don't you?" Her question surprises me, but I remain stubborn and refuse to give her the answer she's searching for.

How can I not feel something for him? Even when he thought I was using him, when he thought I was this cold person who was only searching for a physical connection, he remained attentive and sweet.

I took and took, but I never gave anything in return. At least not what mattered. I was Matthew in that scenario, and it makes me feel sick.

"So," she gives up, waiting for my reply. "What about those tacos?"

Reaching out, she hooks her arm over my shoulders, and I give in, laying my head over to rest against hers. "Can we go through the drive-thru instead?"

She laughs, hugging me tighter. "Yeah," Gina begins leading me toward the front door, "but you're buying."

I owe her that at least, she handed my ass to me, no hesitation. She didn't sugarcoat the situation, she didn't try to make me feel better. She was honest, and sometimes honesty is ugly.