All the Wrong Choices by C.A. Harms

Chapter Thirty-Three

Jonah

It hurtsme to see her in this current state. She looks frail.

I don't know how much weight she's lost but what I do know is she didn't have a lot to spare from the beginning. Her hip bones stick out, much more defined than they were the last time I saw her naked. Her cheeks appear sunken in, and the dark circles under her eyes, it's all too much.

I walk around the bed, placing my arms around her body, and link them together behind her back. "I'm sorry, Dani," the urge to hold her tightly and never let go hits me, but to be honest, I am afraid to squeeze her too tightly. It's like she might break though I know she won't. I can't bring myself not to fear it.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for," she assures me, snuggling in closer, and I bury my nose in her hair.

I do, though, or so I feel I do. I left Dani, and I stayed away when I should have gone to her like my heart was screaming for me to do. For not fighting harder when I should have, for not making her see we were more than a fling, and refusing to let her walk away from me until she understood that. I can go on and on, but instead, I hold her.

"I'm the one who has so many things to apologize for." I feel her body shudder against me. I don't want to do this. I don't want to get trapped in our past, pick open old wounds, and let them drown us.

"No," I say, and she lifts her head to look up at me. "We start clean, no apologies, no more we should've or could've, we just do now."

Dani stares at me for much longer than it should take for her to respond. Then she nods in agreement, and I notice the way her eyes droop, making the fact she's exhausted even more apparent.

"Let's go to bed."

"But it's not even six o'clock yet."

"I don't care," I know she needs it, and honestly, I think I do too. "I want to hold you."

She smiles at me, and the first thing that pops into my head is she has the best smile. "That sounds nice."

"Yeah," cupping her jaw, I kiss her, and when she leans into me, I feel nothing but absolute completion. The feeling of having everything right in my arms, being settled and whole at the same time, all consuming. It's what was missing when I was with Heather, and I know it wasn't a feeling. It was Dani; she's what settles me and completes me.

For the longest time, we lay in bed staring at each other, until finally, she allows her eyes to shut, and within minutes she's in such a deep sleep she is snoring ever so softly. I remember there is only one other time she snored like this, and it was the first night I got her to stay after I'd thoroughly worn her out.

I lay awake at her side and watch her sleep, except this time, everything will be different. She loves me, and she isn't ready to run away from me the very second her feet hit the floor.

She didn't argue when I told her I was taking her home with me. She didn't hesitate when I gave her one of my shirts to put on. Instead, Danielle stripped right there in the center of my room before lifting it over her head. I think she was entirely too exhausted even to care.

Unsure of what time it is, I continue to watch her as the sun begins to set. Long ago, I sent Addison a text telling her that I had Dani with me. I knew if I didn't, she'd be showing up here, and right now, I want time alone with Dani.

I curl my body closer to hers, and I hold her.

She remains tucked tightly to me throughout the night. Her legs are intertwining with mine, and her head alternates between my chest or the crook of my neck.

She’s sleeping hard, and I find her snoring comforting because I know she’s getting the sleep she desperately needs.

I know I'm never letting her go again, I know now what life is like without Dani, and I never want to go back to that place again. I meant what I said, she's mine, and this means I'll take care of her. No matter what it takes, I'll give her everything she wants and more.

* * *

"She's okay,"I say quietly. I am standing in the front entryway of my house with Addison only a few feet away. She's giving me an unsatisfied look, and I know it will remain this way until she sees Dani for herself. Her arms are crossed over her chest, her lips pressing in a tight thin line. One eyebrow cocked in an unconvinced sort of manner. "Honestly, we've just been sleeping, and I think that's what she’s needing."

"Oh, she needs a hell of a lot more than just sleep." Addison practically growls. I know she's not mad at me, she's frustrated with the situation, but the woman can be a little intimidating at times. I know myself that seeing Dani in her current state or finding her on the dance floor with some guy wasn't easy.

When Dani stared at me as I walked across the lawn toward her, with nothing more than a blank stare on her face. I don't know if she even saw me or if she was so lost in thought it took her a bit to register I was there.

But what I do know is she's not the same Dani who knocked me on my ass all those months ago.

"I agree she needs more than just sleep."

I hear a shuffle behind me, and I turn around to find Dani standing just outside my bedroom door, her arms timidly wrapping around her body I'll admit I hate it. I want my vibrant, sexy, and daring girl back.

"What you should have done first is get that woman a rack of ribs and a chocolate cake with extra chocolate." Both Addison and I turn around and glare at Tony, silently telling him to shut the fuck up.

"What?" He shrugs. "I'm just saying she looks hungry."

"Shut the fuck up," I whisper yell hoping he gets the hint.

Addison goes for the junk, though. "I will cut you off if you so much as say one more word." Tony steps back, holding up his hands in defense. And like I thought, he says nothing.

I start to go to Dani, but Addison brushes past me quickly, beating me to it. I watch while she places her hand over Dani's and drags her off to my bedroom, leaving me alone with Tony.

"You better get comfy man," He slaps me on the back and starts toward my kitchen. "That shits gonna take a while."

"Well, if you'd keep your girl satisfied, she wouldn't keep running away."

"Hey now, I keep her plenty satisfied." He says defensively.

"She's grumpy."

"Yours looks like she's malnourished."

Fully prepared to knock him flat on his ass, I take a step toward him. "Honestly, man, I'm gonna fucking punch you." Again he backs away, throwing his hands up in the air. He should stop talking.

It's two in the afternoon on Sunday, and I'm half tempted to close the office tomorrow and reschedule all my patients. It doesn't matter that I've been sleeping for several hours, but I feel like I haven't slept peacefully in weeks.

I got us a couple of beers, and we sit in the living room watching recaps of sports while we wait. But I know myself I'm not paying too much attention to what's on television. I keep looking over my shoulder toward my bedroom, wondering what's going on with the ladies. A big part of me wants to shield Dani from any inquisitions, and this includes Addison. I want the old Dani back, yes, the one who makes my heart race and has such a sassy attitude. I want to hear her laugh. I want to drown in her smiles, but I also don't want to push her.

I want my girl.

And I want us to start living our life.