Holly versus Mr. Ivy by Amanda P. Jones
Chapter 34
Holly
returned in more ways than one. My heart froze in my chest, making it constantly ache. My appetite diminished. My tear ducts worked overtime. Missing caroling with Rhett’s family, meeting Jack at his bakery opening Christmas night, kissing Rhett on New Year’s Eve—I didn’t get to do any of the things we planned. Instead, I stayed in bed for two weeks, hugging my pillow and crying over Rhett. Skye’s betrayal. Losing my job.
The only time Christmas had sucked this bad was when Dad had passed away. A perpetual storm cloud hung over our house that year. We skipped our normal traditions because no one had the energy to pretend we felt the joy of the season.
The cloud returned but morphed into a thundersnow storm—a blizzard with lightning thrown in.
Even Noah couldn’t brighten my spirits, despite his efforts to bring my favorite donut, book, and movies over. As slow as a melting glacier, December morphed into January, which truly was the bleak midwinter. It arrived with frigid intensity. Just like the post-holiday blues where the nights were cold and dark without any lights, festivities, or presents to look forward to, I was back to the controlling, boundary-driven Holly.
My heart and soul were devoid of all joy. Dreariness and rigidity ruled my life.
Not even my fantasy romance novels kept my attention anymore. I went to George’s Steakhouse, worked my shift as the sous chef, came home and took care of Mom: exactly the way my life used to be.
I wasn’t the head chef capable of earning a Michelin star or James Beard award anymore, and I might be back to living within the strict rules I’d set for myself, but at least there was no possibility of someone betraying me. There was also no possibility of having someone love me like Rhett had. But I couldn’t let myself think about Rhett and what had happened. My bruised and battered heart had endured enough beatings. Continuing to poke at it would never let it heal properly.
Tossing my Kindle to the side of my bed, I shuffled off to Mom’s room to check on her, just to give myself something to do. Before Rhett, this routine of mine hadn’t bothered me. Now? The house seemed empty. Too quiet. But it was safe, and that was all that mattered.
I poked my head into Mom’s room. “Hey. Need anything?”
Mom rolled her eyes at me. “Holly.” She sighed in annoyance. “Where’s Rhett? Why has he stopped coming around? Did you two have a fight?”
Just hearing his name made my stomach clench with longing. “I don’t know where he is.” I purposely ignored her question about the fight.
She pursed her lips, her brows furrowing. “You need to call him and ask him to get you out of the house and away from me. You’re hovering worse than a helicopter mom, and you’re driving me batty.”
Harsh.
And I couldn’t. I’d told Rhett to leave me alone, and so far, he had.
“If you don’t call him, I will,” she threatened.
There was no way I wanted Mom calling Rhett. He’d tell her what happened. Dropping my head into my hands, I hesitantly admitted, “I broke up with him.”
“Holly Anne Dewhurst, why would you do an idiotic thing like that?!” she reprimanded.
Mom only pulled my full name out when she was particularly upset. My stomach tied itself into knots. “Because he’s the one who got me fired.” Really, it was Skye, but I’d never have met Skye if it weren’t for Rhett.
Mom patted the bed next to her. I climbed in, lying back on the pillows, staring at the ceiling.
“Holly,” she said sternly, “I’ve never seen you light up as much as you do when you’re around Rhett. I know my diagnosis has put your life into a tailspin, but you are not allowed—do you hear me?—not allowed, to stop living your life because of me.”
Was I doing that? Giving up my life? “I go to work and take care of you.”
“I rest my case.”
My defenses rose. I responded, a bit prickly. “Excuse me for helping the person who raised me. I’m sorry for wanting to keep you around for as long as possible. Should I have not moved home, let you care for yourself instead?”
She grabbed my hand. “Sweetie, I’m so grateful and honored for everything you’ve done for me. But my diagnosis was never meant to be a prison sentence for you. I’ve found joy seeing you happy. That feeling keeps me fighting. Don’t give up on Rhett because of me. If anything, feed that flame so I have something to look forward to. And for my sanity, please let up on the need to control everything. Life throws you curveballs. You have to learn to smack that pitch over the wall instead of letting it strike you out.”
Mom had been lighter in December. Happier. A glow had settled in her eyes that hadn’t been there four months ago. Her skin had gained some color, and she’d laughed more since meeting Rhett. Had I made a mistake? Had everything I’d done to feel in control of my life been for naught?
My phone rang as I mulled over Mom’s words. Skye’s name lit up the screen. She’d called me about twenty times over the past four weeks. I’d ignored every single call, still reeling from the pain of her betrayal.
I scooted off Mom’s bed and went to my room, shutting the door. It was time Skye got the memo that I did not want to speak to her. Ever.
“What?” I spat.
“Holly, thank goodness you answered!” she said, relieved.
I plopped onto my bed, crushing my blanket between my fingers. “I only answered to tell you to stop harassing me. I don’t want to talk to you.”
“I know,” she rushed. “Please don’t hang up. Just give me five minutes, and after that, if you don’t want to hear from me again, I’ll leave you alone. Promise.”
Would five minutes change the fact that she’d ruined the best thing I had going? I’d had a kitchen I finally enjoyed being in and a man who loved me.
“Please,” she begged.
“Five minutes,” I barked. “Your time starts now.”
“Thank you.” She cleared her throat. “Okay. First, I need to apologize and explain why I told Anthony Ivy about you and Rhett. Remember in my interview how I said my ex was a coworker at my last job?”
I grunted.
“Well, when I saw you and Rhett out and about and the way you looked at one another at work, I started suspecting you might be dating. I ignored it, figuring you were both adults and knew what you were doing.
“But then I ran into my ex with his new girlfriend, and all the pain I felt from that came rushing back to me. That same night, I saw you two kissing, and I freaked out. I let my own issues cloud my judgment. Instead of talking to you, or keeping my mouth shut, I ran to Anthony, thinking that I was saving you from the same heartache I was enduring. But you didn’t deserve that. You’re my friend, and you trusted me, and I broke that trust.”
Yeah, she had. In the cruelest way possible.
“Please know I’m so incredibly sorry. I miss you like crazy. In fact, everyone here does.”
Now she was just lying to make me feel better. Not helping your cause, Skye.
“But the worst part is Rhett.”
A tear ripped through my heart like a paper torn in half. What did she mean, ‘the worst part was Rhett’? “What?”
“He’s not doing well,” she hesitantly admitted. “He’s lost weight. There are bags under his eyes. His clothes and hair are rumpled all the time. He never smiles. He’s an absolute mess.”
Way to twist that knife into my heart, Skye. “Really?” A wave of guilt slammed into me, knocking me back onto my bed until I rolled onto my side in the fetal position. I did that. Rhett had told me how he suffered from anxiety and depression and that his last girlfriend had left him when he needed her most, and I had done the exact same thing.
“He misses you. In fact, the reason I called is because he won’t be at the restaurant tomorrow. It’s his night off. You should come in. There’s something I think you need to see.”
I’d never felt so low in my life. The pain and betrayal from what Skye did still ached, but my worry over Rhett eclipsed my own wounds. My chin quivered. “I don’t know that I can show my face there again, Skye.” How could I see my former employees? Did they know why I had been fired? Tears leaked from my eyes as I thought about Rhett. How I’d hurt him.
“I promise, everyone would love to see you. And I know you have no reason to trust me, but you really do need to come in.”
I really didn’t want to. Leaving The Boardwalk, shutting out my time there, had helped me stay in my current situation without regret.
“Holly? Please?” she begged.
Ahhhh! I didn’t know if I could do it. But for Rhett? “Okay. I’ll stop by before I head to my new job.”
“Thank you, Holly. We’ll see you tomorrow.”
Skye hung up. I stared at my phone. Did I make the right decision to go back there? To face my ex-employees? To have the memories of Rhett’s lips on mine slam into me when I walked into the restaurant?
The front doors of The Boardwalk were locked since I’d arrived at two and they didn’t open until four. I went around back to the familiar metal door and let myself inside, knowing Aaron and the chefs were prepping for the evening.
Nerves roiled in my stomach, like a snowball fight was in full swing. My hands shook and sweat coated the back of my neck. I stepped into the kitchen and immediately started blinking back tears. I miss this place.
Nico spotted me hovering in the doorway. He dropped the spoon he held and rushed toward me, enveloping me in a hug.
“Chef, it’s so good to see you. This place just doesn’t function the same without you.”
“Liar,” I choked out. “You’re just as good as I am.”
Nico stepped back, a soft smile on his lips. “Nah. No one could replace you.”
The commotion of our hug made everyone’s attention turn toward us. Shouts of “Chef Dewhurst!” and “Chef, good to see you!” echoed throughout the room, and the tears fell harder, faster, streaming down my hot cheeks. They actually missed me. Shock reverberated in my skull, stunning me into silence.
Skye zoomed toward me, wrapping me in another hug. “Again, I’m so sorry. Thank you for coming.”
“Are you back for good?” Starla shouted from across the kitchen.
“Just for a visit,” I called back in a wobbly tone, then stepped out of Skye’s embrace. “What did you want me to see?”
“Nico,” Skye said, “I’m taking Holly to view the new menu in the dining room. I’ll be back.”
The menu? Why would I need to see the menu? I’d helped revamp it a few months ago. I didn’t need to see what I had organized.
“Starla,” Nico hollered, “go with Skye and Holly.”
“Yes, Chef.” Starla wiped her hands on a towel and joined Skye and me. In the dining room, Skye told me to take a seat at a table. I chose a booth by the window facing the ocean. Gray clouds blocked the sun, turning the sea midnight blue.
“I don’t need to see the menu,” I protested. “I still worked here when we changed it.”
“This is the dessert menu.” Skye plopped a tall, skinny, thick cream paper with black print in front of me. She tapped the bottom item listed.
“He asked me to create that the end of December,” Starla said. “Right after you left.”
I didn’t leave, I was fired.But I kept that to myself. On the menu, I read:
Manager’s Favorite: Peanut Butter and Jelly Cake
Decadent peanut butter cake layers with homemade strawberry jam filling and peanut butter buttercream frosting. Perfect for those who love something salty with a side of sweet.
My hands flew to cover my jaw that had dropped. Had I made a huge mistake?
Yes. A mistake of catastrophic proportions. Why had I let myself believe that by controlling my life, it was better? These people, who I’d wrongly assumed wouldn’t listen to me unless I dictated every aspect of their time in my kitchen, liked me. They’d greeted me like a friend they hadn’t seen in a while, not a boss they couldn’t stand.
I was miserable at my new job because I had gone in with walls raised. But what new friendships was I missing out on because of my stubbornness? If I’d talked to Rhett instead of telling him I needed to deal with things on my own, how much pain would I have saved myself? And him?
I had to fix this. I had to apologize to Rhett. To prove to him that he had been right all along and I was the one who’d made the error in pushing him away.