Smokey’s Turmoil by Erin Osborne
Chapter Five
Jasmine
WAKING UP THIS morning, my humiliation from last night is in the forefront of my mind. I can’t believe I not only spilled six milkshakes on a customer, but I ran into the wall, and busted up my knees. To say I’m sore and moving slow this morning is an understatement. Even taking a hot bath and soaking in the water is doing nothing to ease my aches. It was hard to sleep last night. That’s why I allowed myself to sleep in today.
I think what made my humiliation so much worse was not only most of the club witnessing what happened, but that Smokey was there too. Yeah, he’s seen me in some pretty compromising positions since starting work at the diner. Nothing as bad as last night though. It was rough and hurt my pride. The only way to escape him when we got back here was to head directly to the bathroom. He’d never just walk in or invade my privacy like that. If I were in my bedroom, he could have come in to talk about things and that’s not what I wanted to do.
Stretching my body, I wince as pain fills me. Once I’m done, I get out of bed to take a hot shower. Maybe the water will make my body not hurt so much so I can move around easier. I’ve got things to do here at the apartment and then work later on today. As soon as I open my door, the scent of bacon fills the apartment. Looking toward the kitchen, Smokey is standing there in nothing more than a pair of shorts. The muscles in his back move and strain as he moves around comfortably in front of the stove.
“Breakfast is ready in ten,” he says without turning around to face me.
“Okay. I’ll be out as soon as I take a quick shower. I’m sorry I slept in,” I tell him, grabbing my clothes to take to the bathroom with me.
When I exit the bathroom again, Smokey tells me there’s nothing to apologize for. Everyone deserves a day off and to simply relax and shit. I’m not going to take a day off just because I’m sore. I need to clean, work, and make sure my father isn’t here. If he is, that means I have to leave. Now. I’m not going to put off leaving Shadowville or anything if it puts these men and women who have taken me under their wings in danger. It’s not something I can do. My mom taught me better than that and I won’t have someone else’s life on my conscious.
Walking in the bathroom, I turn on the water before stripping down. Steam billows in the room, filling the air and fogging up the mirror. It’s still not going to be hot enough to wash away the thoughts circling my mind and memories better left in the dark recesses where they can’t hurt me. Rationally, I know my father can no longer hurt me in the ways he used to. Words are just a way to make people hurt so they feel better about themselves. I know this, but it doesn’t take the initial sting away when they’re directed at you.
My father’s abuse of me beats anything I’ll ever experience though. He’s the worst monster I know I’ll come across because he truly has no soul and doesn’t care about who he hurts if it gets him what he wants. The entire time he was with my mother, he cheated on her and used other women to get drugs, money, and alcohol. Anything to make him feel better about the waste of life he is. At least that’s my opinion of the situation based on what he’s done to every single person in his life.
Stepping under the hot water, I let the burn warm my skin up. It tingles as my skin immediately turns pink. For a minute I savor the burning feeling as the water sluices down my body from my head down to the floor of the shower to swirl down the drain. After my body is completely heated up, I begin washing my hair with the shampoo that’s been bought and put in the shower for me. I scrub my head really good before rinsing it out and putting conditioner through the wet strands. As it soaks in my hair, I wash my body so I can rinse off one more time. Taking care of everything, I rinse off before shutting the water off so I can dry off.
Dressing in a pair of jeans and a large shirt, I quickly brush my hair out and throw it up in a messy bun. With nothing more to do, I open the door as the steam from the shower fills the hallway. My steps are slow as I make my way into the kitchen for breakfast. I’ve never seen Smokey cook before and I’m truly curious how his food will taste. Usually, he either eats at the diner, the clubhouse, or finds something I’ve already cooked and heats it up in the microwave.
He sits down at the table with me after grabbing our plates, coffee, and a glass of orange juice for each of us. Honestly, I feel slightly spoiled by this breakfast. I don’t know what brought this on by him, and I’m not going to ask him either. If this is something he wanted to do, I’ll eat it. As long as he doesn’t kill me because the food isn’t cooked all the way or something like that.
Looking down, I take in the omelet, homefries, and bacon filling the plate. This is way more food than I’ll be able to eat. Still, I don’t say anything. Smokey places a piece of folded up paper next to his plate as we both dig in to our food. It’s really damn good as I moan around the forkful of egg filled with cheese and vegetables. He looks at me with desire pooling in his eyes. My face heats up at the thought of him wanting me. Yes, he told me we could have sex anytime I wanted, but I never thought he was serious.
We’re both quiet as we eat our breakfast. I don’t finish mine as I knew I wouldn’t. Smokey finishes his food and grabs my plate, dragging it across the table to finish eating what I couldn’t. While he’s busy finishing the food, I grab his empty plate, juice glass, and my coffee mug and glass taking them to the kitchen. Thankfully, I don’t drop a single thing as I set it all on the counter top before filling the sink with hot water to wash them by hand. I don’t want to use the dishwasher right now because this gives me something to do until Smokey is done and I can finish up.
I’m not sure what his plans are for the day, though I’ll remain busy as he does whatever it is he’ll be working on. If he’s going to be here, he’ll more than likely be locked in his office doing what it is he does. I’ve learned not to ask questions because the less I know, the better off I’ll be. With my back to him, I sing softly under my breath, so it sounds more like humming than anything else. No one ever hears me sing if I can help it. Yes, I’ve been caught a time or two and it sucks because I don’t want to hear anyone’s opinion of my voice. It’s what I do when I’m alone to soothe myself. Music is my life and I’m going to continue singing no matter who likes it or doesn’t.
“So, we need to have a conversation,” Smokey says, walking the remaining dishes over to me as he leans against the counter with his arms folded across his chest.
Since he’s still not wearing a shirt, I look out the side of my eye to ogle the muscles and ink. It’s not very often I get to see as much ink as Smokey has on someone. I’ve always loved looking at tattoos, and even thought about getting one before. I never had the courage to follow through with it though. Pain is something I’m used to, but it doesn’t mean I like it. To willingly put myself in pain is not something I have ever wanted to do.
“What do we need to talk about?” I ask him, continuing to wash the dishes.
“Well, I went out to take the garbage this mornin’ and this was on your car,” he says, holding up the piece of paper for me to read.
Jasmine,
You really thought you could hide from me? It didn’t take me any time at all to find you. I have more than enough people in my life to locate anyone I want to. I’ve been watching you, learning every single move you make. I’m not surprised to see you’re still dumb as fuck and can’t do a damn thing without making a complete mess.
You know why I’m here. I will get what you owe me. I’m not going to wait much longer for you to sign everything over to me. It’s rightfully mine and you’re not entitled to it. I’ll see you soon.
Dad
Tears fill my eyes. This is the last thing I wanted to see this morning. Smokey is looking at me with anger filling his entire face. Not just his eyes this time. I’ve never seen him as mad as right now. It’s bad enough I shrink into myself while trying to add some more space between our bodies.
“Never gonna hurt you, Song Bird,” he tells me, his voice soft instead of harsh and volatile. “What is this all about?”
Taking a deep breath, I try to figure out if I can brush it off without letting him in. This is my fight and no one else needs to get involved. Looking up at him, I know without a doubt there won’t be anything other than the complete truth. Smokey will accept nothing less than that. I should have left after breaking his table like I planned on. Then, we wouldn’t need to have this conversation. I could be somewhere else where no one knows me. Hiding out from the man who has tormented me since I can remember. My memories of my father aren’t good at all.
Smokey shuts the water off, hands me a towel to dry my hands off, and leads me to the couch in the living room. Instead of giving me room, he sits right next to me. It’s almost as if he knows I’m going to need his strength for this conversation. He wouldn’t be wrong either. This is a very sensitive subject for me to deal with and no one has ever known what has happened to me as a child.
“Growing up, I only really had my mother. She loved me regardless of what I looked like or how many messes I made with my klutziness. As much as she could, my mom tried to shield me from my father and the rest of our family. It’s really only members from his side because my mom was an only child and her parents had already passed on before I was even born.
“My father would taunt me, call me names to degrade me, and intentionally hurt me in little ways that wouldn’t draw attention to his treatment of me. I was covered in bruises, had broken bones, more cuts than anything else. The cuts on my body from crashing through your table didn’t equal as many cuts and bruises as I received from my father. I was a laughing stock to him; someone he could pick on when he was around the house and make my life a living hell.
“I couldn’t have a bed in my room, had one blanket, and every single piece of clothing I had as a child was second-hand because I didn’t deserve to have anything new. There was no door on my room, so I had to change in the bathroom. He didn’t feel I needed any privacy no matter how old I was. It was just another way to humiliate me. When he was home, I wasn’t allowed to eat food unless he set it out for me before leaving for the day. If he caught my mom feeding me, she would get beaten to the point she couldn’t lift herself up off the floor on her own.
“The only time I ever had friends was when jokes were being played on me. No one wanted to spend time and get to know the fat cow who loved to read and sing. I was always made fun of and everyone’s source of entertainment at school. I focused on learning, my schoolwork, and reading every book I could get my hands on. If my father found books in my room, they were completely destroyed before my eyes. He would try to ruin everything I ever wanted to do. Including work to help my mom pay the bills. She was already working two jobs to pay the bills and make sure there was money for him whenever he came around. My mom was hiding a secret though. One my father eventually figured out after she lost her battle.
“Anyway, a few years ago, she told me her secret and vowed to get me away from my father. They were never legally married because my father refused to be tied to one woman. It only mattered who could do the most for him on that particular day. When he had nowhere else to go, he’d come back to our home. She pulled money out from one of her accounts and was going to get us new identities and away from our small hometown. Before that could happen, she collapsed in the middle of our house while I was on my way home from work.
“Instead of my mom working and loving me, I had to grow up and learn to do everything she did. I dropped out of school and got my GED so I could take care of her. The doctors had no clue what was wrong with her. At the same time, I was seeing one doctor after another to figure out why my balance is so off and why I’m completely clumsy. There’s nothing wrong with me; it’s just how I’m built and who I am. Last year, my mom lost her battle with whatever was slowly killing her. I inherited everything my mom owned; the house, her bank accounts, life insurance policy, and the investments she had made throughout her life.
“My grandparents were rich. They invested their money and put it in high interest bonds. Since my mom was raised to work and bust her ass for everything she wanted, she continued to invest the money and didn’t touch it. The only time was to get us away from my father. Now, it’s all mine. I sold my childhood home and continue to invest the money as my mom did before me. That’s why I work so hard and save every single penny I make. Other than what I buy for here. I’m not sure how my father found out about the money and everything I have left in the bank, but he has. He wants it and will do everything in his power to get it. That way he can live his life the way he wants to without worrying about anything else. He can party and find another woman to fuck over as he’s done countless times already.
“You don’t have to worry about it though, I’m going to pack my things and leave here. As long as I leave in the middle of the night, he won’t be able to find me again for a while. That’s why I never planned on putting down roots here. I’ve learned to move on after a few days somewhere. Maybe a few weeks tops. I’ve been in Shadowville longer than anywhere else since losing my mom. It’s not a big deal Smokey. I’ll be out of here in a few hours and you won’t have to worry about anyone else getting caught up in my mess. I’m used to living this way.
“I appreciate everything Phoebe, Corrinth, and you have done for me while I was here. You guys are the kindest, most caring people I’ve ever met. Everyone in the club is if I’m being honest. No one has ever thrown me a birthday party or made me a cake. My mom would have to sneak me a small piece of cake as long as my father wasn’t around. You’ve allowed me to check a few things off of my bucket list. It’s just time to move on now,” I tell him, tears rolling down my face as I lean against his strong, hard, hot body.
Taking a few deep breaths, I finally push myself away from him so I can get up and pack my things. Smokey has other ideas though as he locks my arms around me and keeps me seated on the couch next to him. He holds me close to his body as his strong heart beat becomes my focus. I listen to the steady pounding in his chest as he holds my trembling body. Finally, he pulls me back from him and sets me away from him.
“You’re not goin’ anywhere. We’re goin’ to handle this together. I’ll get all of his information and find him. Your father isn’t goin’ to get anywhere near you. Phoebe and Corrinth will have a fuckin’ fit if you leave here without tellin’ them what’s goin’ on. Once you do, they’ll make sure you stay here. Where we can protect you and make sure no one else gets close to you,” he states as if it’s the final answer to my problems.
“Smokey, I can’t ask you to do this. I refuse to put your club at risk. There are kids and ol’ ladies here. My father won’t hesitate to put them in danger to get to me and the money he feels should be his,” I tell him, knowing my father more than he does.
“It doesn’t matter. We’ll keep everyone protected and away from him. It doesn’t matter who he feels he knows; we know more people than he does. And we’re a lot deadlier than he is when it comes to those we love and care about. You’re a part of this family whether you realize it or not. The club has accepted you into the fold and will be there to have your back no matter what life throws your way,” he tells me, his voice still gentle as he talks to me. “If I’m not here, someone will be on you. More than likely one of the Prospects since they have to earn their way into the club. You can come and go as you please, but make sure you know your surroundin’ and listen to your gut. If you feel somethin’ is off, it is. Call someone immediately and we’ll get there for you.”
“I don’t have a phone. And I don’t know anyone’s number. I’m a sitting duck when I’m not locked away.”
“We’ll figure somethin’ out,” he tells me. “I’m goin’ to be gone for a few days on a run. Before I leave, we’re gonna spend the day relaxin’. Maybe go out and make sure you have everythin’ you need while I’m gone. I know you were supposed to work today, but Corrinth said to take the day off.”
“Oh. Um, I can work. I’m sore and movin’ slower than normal, but I can still work. I need to work,” I tell him, knowing this is what I need.
“Not gonna happen. Take the day off. Stay off your legs for a while and we’ll go out and grab some dinner before I go to bed. Gotta be up and out early in the mornin’. I’ll be gone before you wake up,” he tells me, turning the TV on before covering me up with a blanket.
For the next few hours, we sit back and relax. When it’s time for dinner, Smokey finally gets dressed and we head out. Instead of going to the diner, we make our way out of town. I have no clue where the hell he’s taking me. I’m just along for the ride. It’s a ride I’m not sure if I want to take with Smokey since he’s been so much different since I shared my story with him.
While we were on the couch, he cuddled with me and made us lunch. I didn’t get up other than to go to the bathroom. Smokey anticipated everything I would need throughout the day and had it for me before I even attempted to get up to get it. He let me choose the movies we watched and didn’t complain when I wanted to watch a chick flick. I don’t want his pity and I sure as hell don’t want others to know what’s happened to me. However, I’m not dumb enough to believe the club won’t be involved with the way he was talking earlier. It’s insane.
