Smokey’s Turmoil by Erin Osborne
Chapter Seven
Jasmine
FOR SOME REASON, I’m out shopping with the ol’ ladies of the club today. Phoebe and Hadliegh picked me up this morning and said we were going out for the day. They are miserable and want to get out before the babies they’re carrying are born. It doesn’t help that the guys are gone and the others who were left behind are busy with work and picking up the slack for the guys who are on the run. Whatever that means. I’m not fluent in biker speak so most things go right over my head.
The girls decided to go clothes shopping. That’s the last thing I want to do. I hate trying on clothes. Especially in front of other people. These women don’t let anything stop them from getting what they want though. So, I find myself smooshed between Hadliegh and Phoebe in the back of and SUV as we ride from one store to another. With all of us out today, we’ve got two Prospects following us on their bikes. One will go in the stores with us while the other guy sits outside to make sure no one messes with the vehicles we’re in.
“So, how are things going with Smokey?” Natasha asks me from the front seat.
“The same as always. He stays at the apartment sometimes and other times he’s wherever he stays. There’s nothing there,” I state, my voice shaking with emotion.
“Girl, how do you not see the way that man watches you when you’re in the same room. At the clubhouse when we threw you a party, he didn’t take his eyes off you all day long. Then, from what I hear, the two of you disappeared for quite a while. One of the Prospects saw him walk you out looking less than stellar. If you know what I mean,” Natasha lets me know.
“Oh, um, he gave me my birthday present.”
“And how is Smokey in bed?” Hadliegh questions, her voice almost sing song as she waits for my answer.
“Um, I don’t know.”
“Yeah, you do. Your blush gives it away sweetie,” Phoebe says. “It’s okay. We’ll leave you alone. Just watch yourself. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“Thank you. I’m not going to get hurt though. We talk and things are nothing more than sometimes we spend a little time together. Other than that, we’re not even in the same place. All I’m focusing on is working and saving up as much money as I can until I figure out where I’m going after here,” I say, the mood in the SUV somber as I realize I’ll be leaving all these people behind.
For the first time in my life, I don’t want to move on. I want to be who I am and stay here no matter what happens. These are people I want to get to know and let in my life. They aren’t people who treat me any different because of what’s going on in my life or push me to talk about things when I don’t want to. The women and men of Satan’s Anarchy have invited me into the club and their lives; not as a joke but simply because they chose to. I’ve never had that in my life from a single person. My mom is the only one who’s ever loved and cared about me.
We pull up to the same mall Smokey went to the other night. The two of us had dinner in one of the restaurants here. Then he must have gone to get my new phone. I still can’t believe he bought me a damn phone. Smokey will be taking the money for it whether he wants to or not. I’m not one to accept something like this. Not only is there the cost of the phone, but there’s also the monthly payment too. He’s crazy if he thinks I’m not going to insist on paying for things.
“I’m ready to eat,” Phoebe says as we all begin to laugh.
She’s always hungry these days and will stop for any reason to eat. I’ve sent her more food from the diner when she can’t get away from the domestic violence compound. The Prospects pick up her food orders and they’ve made more than a few comments about her always being hungry and them being alert around the clock for when a craving hits. Honestly, I’m jealous of her. I want a baby so bad. To know what being pregnant is like and then to hold my son or daughter in my arms. It’s something I’ve always wanted and never let myself believe it’s possible to gain. Not with the way I’ve been treated.
Walking inside, we head straight for the food court. Each of us head to a different place to get a smorgasbord of food to share. This is something I’ve missed out on doing with friends. Now, it’s going to be something I miss when I leave here. Phoebe and the rest of the girls are already sitting at the table waiting for me. without hesitation I take my seat next to Phoebe. We spend a few minutes switching food and digging into what we want to eat. I’m not eating a salad either. I’ve made the decision to eat better, but not to starve myself. People are either going to like me for me, or they won’t. I’ll also keep working out when I can too.
“So, how do you like Shadowville so far, Jas?” Callie asks me, taking a sip of her drink.
“I haven’t really had a chance to see anything. So, I don’t know. I’m not sure I’ll be around much longer. There are so many things going on and for me to figure out. I might only be here a little while longer,” I answer, keeping my head down so I don’t see the look on Phoebe’s face as she stills next to me.
“What are you talking about?” Phoebe questions me, making me look up at her.
“Well, it was never the plan to stay here. I can move on at any time.”
“That’s it. You’re just going to leave here for whatever reason? Did Smokey do something to hurt you?”
“Not at all. He’s not done anything I haven’t let him do to me. There are just reasons I need to get out of here. I’m going to miss you all and think of you often. For now, I’m here and I’m going to keep working until it’s time to leave again. I’ve been here for much longer than I’ve stayed anywhere else for the last year.”
“I wish you didn’t have to go,” Natasha says. “We can always use more women around the club. Not to mention, I want to see where this shit between Smokey and you is going to go.”
“I can answer that now. Nowhere.”
“I think you’re wrong about that. We’ve all seen the chemistry flashing between you and him. You’re the first women who’s made his head spin and him want something more than how he’s been living,” Hadliegh says from next to me.
“What if we convinced you to work at the compound.? You could help us out with something there,” Cassidy asks, pushing her plate aside.
“From what I hear, you have everything covered. And I don’t do anything good enough to teach women who need to learn everything.”
“I think you’d be surprised. You can help with any of the classes. And take part in the self-defense classes. We can all learn a thing or two from the guys about how to defend ourselves. Give me a few days and I’ll arrange a time you can come down and check things out,” Cassidy tells me.
Nodding my head, I finish what I can of the food on my plate.
The last few hours have flown by. We’ve been in one store after another. So far, I’ve been able to not try anything on and only give feedback to the girls on what they try on. I have yet to see them look bad in a single thing they’ve tried on. I’m sure my time is running out though as we walk in the last store of the day.
“Come on Jasmine,” Phoebe calls out as she grabs a cart to push around.
I have to stop the laugh from escaping as she places her drink and box of cookies in the top of the cart. The Prospect had to rush to get them for her as we were in a store right next to the cookie stand. She’s got chocolate chip cookies, cookie cups filled with icing, brownies, and a few other goodies she is not sharing with anyone. It’s comical when you try to get between her and the food she’s got near her.
Following her through the store, I look at some of the clothes. It’s getting colder out, and I really don’t have long sleeve shirts or pants that will keep me warm throughout the winter. My clothes are all tee-shirts and jeans that I wear way too often because they’re becoming threadbare and need to be replaced. I’ve just never taken the time to do that. For now, I’m going to simply look at things without worrying about if I get something or not.
“Jas, this would look amazing on you,” Phoebe says, holding up a dress.
“Oh, I don’t wear dresses,” I tell her, shaking my head.
“Please try it on. I know you need clothes. It’s getting cold,” she says as if reading my mind.
Without letting me say another word, the dress goes in the cart. I watch on as she tosses several other pieces of clothing in the cart. None of them are maternity clothes so I’m not sure what she’s doing. This is crazy. If I learned anything today it’s that these women know how to shop. They go into a store and rush through to find what they’re looking for, make quick work of trying things on, and then pay. We’ve been through so many stores today, my feet hurt from all the walking I’ve done.
“What size shoes do you wear?”
“It depends on what they are,” I tell her as we move onto the shoe department. “What are you doing Phoebe?”
“I’m getting you clothes to try on. You need new ones for the cold weather. That includes different sneakers and boots. No matter what happens or where you go, these are things you’ll need.”
“Not a dress or half the clothes you’ve put in the cart. Those are things to go out in. I don’t go out. Ever,” I tell her, my voice filled with laughter as she pouts.
“That’s okay. Just because you haven’t gone out to the club before doesn’t mean you won’t go out in the future,” she states as if she has everything figured out.
Sighing, I continue following her through the store. Before I know it, the cart is overflowing with shoes, dresses, jeans, sweaters, and a ton of other things. Including nighties, lingerie, and sexy underwear. Things I would never wear in a million years. These are the kind of things you have someone to wear them for. I don’t. I mean, there’s the whole thing with Smokey, but I’m not sure that counts.
“Time to try things on,” she says, clapping her hands together in excitement.
With there being a limit of things I can take in the dressing room with me, she picks and chooses through the mound in the cart of things for me to take in the first round. Yes, she’s going to make me try on every single piece she’s chosen and show them. This is going to be fun; I think to myself as she transfers the clothing from her arms to mine and gives me a gentle shove in the direction of the changing room.
Placing everything on the hooks on the wall, I choose the dress first. Grabbing the dress, I go to take it off the hanger as a loud ripping noise fills the small dressing room. My mouth hangs open in shock as I look down to see a large hole in the slinky fabric.
“Are you okay?” Phoebe asks, her voice right outside the door.
“No. The dress ripped as I was trying to get it off the hanger,” I answer her, opening the door a small crack so she can see.
“Okay. I’ll get another one. The rack is right there.”
Nodding my head, I close the door to begin trying on something else. Setting the dress aside, I strip out of my jeans and tee-shirt before putting on a pair of dark blue jeans that actually fit with an emerald sweater that molds to my chest and doesn’t make me look like horrible. Looking in the mirror at myself, I inspect my body from all angles. This could actually work.
“Let me see,” Phoebe says, her voice really close once again.
Opening the door, I stand so the girls can see what I’m wearing. For several minutes they sit in silence as I begin to fidget in nervousness.
“Hot damn!” Hadliegh finally calls out. “Who knew you had all those fucking curves hidden away. You need that outfit.”
With a smile on my face, I make my way back in the room to try on something else. For the next hour or so, I try on one outfit after another. Though my plan is to put most of them back without anyone knowing, I set aside the ones I want to keep and buy for the colder season. At least I’ll have these for now. When the season changes again, I can get more clothes. Honestly, I like having clothes that actually fit me. For so long I’ve hidden away and I’m slowly realizing it’s not doing anything but holding me back. Maybe it’s time for a change. In more ways than one.
When I’m finally done trying things on, I go to meet the girls so I can buy the few things I’m keeping and then get out of here. Instead, Hadliegh is the only one standing here waiting for me. She’s got a smile on her face as she links her arm with mine to lead me toward the front.
“What’s going on Hadliegh?” I question her, not seeing any of the other girls still.
“Nothing. We just want to get on the road so we can get home before dark,” she answers with her smile still in place.
Yeah, something is definitely going on that I’m not supposed to know about. For now, I’ll leave it alone. Until I have a reason not to. I’m tired and ready for a shower before I go to bed. today has been a long day and it’s only going to end after I’m washed up. Thankfully, I haven’t felt any eyes on me while we’ve been out today. If I had, I’d have let the Prospect know and called one of the guys to come make sure the women are okay.
When we get out to the SUV, the women are stuffing bags in the back of one of them. It’s from the store we just were shopping in. The Prospects have been making trips back and forth all day long to unload everything that’s been bought.
“What did you guys do?” I ask, looking with my mouth hanging open at everyone.
“We got you new clothes. The guys paid actually. We have a club card. Just one more thing for your birthday.
“I don’t need all of this. I was just going to get a few things and then call it good for now,” I inform them, not sure what to say right now.
“We know. That’s why we didn’t let you know what we were doing,” Phoebe tells me, wrapping her arms around me in a hug. “I’m ready to get home. What about you guys?”
“I’m more than ready,” I return, getting in the middle of the seat in the SUV again.
Our trip home is spent laughing and singing along with the radio. Yes, I did sing in a vehicle full of other people. They were shocked by my voice and gave me praise making me blush under their compliments. It’s been so long since I received any sort of compliment; I’m almost not sure what to do with them. Still, it’s nice to know people like my voice and are encouraging me to sing as they all remain quiet in their seats. It’s crazy to have people listen to me.
“Girl, our next cookout, you need to sing,” Natasha tells me, a devious smile on her face. “The guys won’t know what hit them.”
“Um, no. You’re the first people I’ve sung in front of and it’s not going to happen again,” I respond, laughing at the thought.
Finally, with darkness beginning to settle in, we pull up to Smokey’s apartment. I get out with the help of a Prospect as we struggle to gather all of the bags from one store. It takes us two trips upstairs with everything. And, to my surprise, Phoebe even gives me a cookie before they pull away to head to their own homes. Now, I can take a hot as hell shower to wash the day away before hitting my bed. Today was definitely a workout.
