Jax by E. M. Moore
16
In the supply closet, I could fool myself into thinking Jax is still here for me, but the moment we exit, he disappears. Considering the shit I’ve done to him, I try not to take it personally but it became more obvious that I broke the Jax I used to know when I had to wipe my own tears.
The Ring is even busier tonight than last night. Still, it’s not difficult to find Leenie in the crowd. She spots me in the mess of bodies as I walk toward her seat at the bar. The look on her face says she’s already appraised me and is thinking of running recon. “You look like you need a drink.” She flags down a waiter and then uses a napkin to wipe at my face before handing it to me.
“You’re probably the nicest person I’ve ever met,” I tell her as I take it from her and run it underneath my eyes. It’s a good thing I didn’t have makeup on or I’d be a mess.
She sighs. “Hardly. I’m not really on your side, Sadie. I’m on Jax’s.” She takes a sip of her own drink as we wait for mine. “The thing is, you’re also in trouble and,” she emphasizes, “Jax is too stubborn for his own good to see what’s in front of his face. So, do you want to talk about it?”
The waiter stops by with a drink. I peer at the slight green concoction, and Leenie tips it toward my face. I take a sip, a sour flavor coating the back of my throat. I give her a nod of appreciation while still avoiding her question. I haven’t really ever had a girl to talk to about shit. The girls at Psycho’s place would just as soon rat you out than fix your makeup. “I don’t know how to do this,” I confess.
“Well, lucky for you, I have a history of being a really good friend. Why don’t you start with this asshole who mistreats you?”
The Ring hardly seems like a good place to have a heart-to-heart but I like the anonymity of it. Plus, the guys aren’t around and everyone else is so caught up in their own stuff that they’re not even paying attention to us. “After I got kicked out of the Heights, he found me,” I say, knowing that’s only the last stroke of a painting that’s taken hours and hours and hours to complete. “He was the only avenue I had to put a roof over my head and food in my belly. I didn’t see the monster underneath for a very long time.”
Looking back, I understand now that I’d been groomed to be his accomplice from the beginning. He plied me with talk of love and then manipulated me into doing things I never would’ve done if I’d had the choice. Knowing Psycho, he planned it that way all along. I thought we were the Flat’s power couple, and we are, just not in ways I want to be.
“You should get help,” Leenie advises. “There are houses for young, abused women. Programs. I can help you get to one.”
I shake my head. It’s nothing that I hadn’t thought of before but to Psycho I’m an investment. He’s not going to let me go easily. These guys don’t understand that he’s not only an abuser, he’s depraved. He’s sick.
Leenie frowns. I can tell I’ve disappointed her. “It’s not like that,” I say. “I want to get out.”
My words hit me like a ten-ton truck to the face. I’d never allowed myself to fully feel that until now. Probably because in the Flats, I was completely hopeless. There are no ways out when you’re in the thick of things. However, being away from him—away from his games and torment—has shown me what I could have.
“Hey,” Leenie says when my lip starts to wobble. “Let’s see if the guys want to go home. We can continue talking there.”
“I don’t deserve Jax’s sympathy,” I say to her. “I know that. You can’t say anything to him if you want me to talk to you.”
Leenie searches my gaze. A slight nod tells me she hears me. She downs the rest of her drink, and I do the same before following her back to where the fighters have been hanging out. When Finn spots Leenie, he nods. It’s as if they have some sort of telepathic abilities because he immediately begins to say goodbye to his fighters and the others in their circle.
When we arrive, he puts his arm around her shoulders, and we walk back toward the door in the corner. Once we’re clear of the crowd, Leenie asks where Jax is.
“Haven’t seen him. I’ll text him when we get to the car.” He slides his fingers through hers, and I amble behind them like a broken third wheel. I guess I’m staying with these guys for now, based completely on Leenie’s need to help me, apparently. Finn has been less than welcoming, and Jax even worse than that.
We exit out a side door that might be the same one Security took Psycho’s crew out last night. We step out into the alleyway, and I immediately find the spot on the cement where Psycho had me on my knees. Tiny splatters of blood decorate the ground there. Seeing it again makes my face throb. The small amount of alcohol I consumed can’t even numb it.
We turn the opposite way and head to where Leenie parked the car earlier. The snap of cold air whipping down the alley makes me wrap my arms around myself. When we finally clear the edge of the building, Jax is leaning against the stark black vehicle, a piece of paper in his hand.
“We were wondering where you were,” Finn calls out.
Jax lifts his head. Instead of greeting his brother, he stares directly at me. The darkness in his gaze sends another shiver through me, and I stop. Something is off. His fist closes around the paper in his hand. Apprehension skirts over my skin. “What’s that?”
Finn jogs up to him, Leenie and I following closely behind. When he gets there, Finn plucks the object from his hand and stares down at it. “Really? Wow.”
Leenie moves to Finn’s side and peers around his arm. “Is that Clive?”
I have to stand up on my tiptoes to look around Finn’s shoulder but I see it then. It’s a picture of two fighters beating the shit out of each other in the warehouse. The photo is grainy as hell, most likely taken with a shitty cell phone. Scrawled across the top is a line saying, Guess your boy likes it here better.
“Wait, Clive?” I ask. “Isn’t he the one who was supposed to fight tonight?”
Finn’s jaw ticks. “Where did you find this?”
“Under the windshield.”
My stomach squeezes. Psycho’s posse has been watching enough to know that this is Leenie’s car. Shit.
“You know anything about this?” Jax asks, tearing the paper back from his brother.
I gulp. He’s pinned me with his gaze, and when he does that, the moment in the supply closet may as well be another lifetime. “I know it was taken at the storage facility,” I tell him, recognizing Psychos’ measly supply of mixed martial arts gear. Their guy looks so out of place in that building. He’s so young, so innocent. He has no idea what he’s gotten himself into. Those guys don’t follow rules, and they sure as fuck don’t care about each other.
“But what do you know about how it got on the windshield?” Jax rumbles.
“It must have been Tiron.”
“The guy you were dancing with earlier?” Finn asks.
“The guy who made me dance with him earlier? Yes. He must’ve put it there.” I eye all of them, and all three are looking at me suspiciously. “I’ve been with Leenie all day. I obviously didn’t do it.”
“No one’s saying—” Leenie starts.
“Actually, I was thinking that,” Jax interrupts. “She brings her guys to our fights. They start something with us, and now all of a sudden, one of ours is with this Psycho guy. It can’t be a coincidence.”
My fingers flex beside me. It’s late. The single streetlight above us and the way they’re staring at me has me feeling like I’m under interrogation. “Who is this Clive guy?” I ask. Worry seeps through me. “He can’t be that old.”
“He’s nineteen,” Jax says.
My chest hollows with that knowledge. They’re going to chew him up and spit him out. “He can’t be there.” I reach for the paper. I must surprise Jax because he lets me take it from him. I don’t know exactly what I’m looking for but I need to see who’s present. Mostly, I’m scanning it for Psycho to see if I can tell by the look on his face what his plans are for this guy.
The bastard couldn’t leave it alone, could he? He had to get the last word in with Jax and Finn, letting them know that he’s “better” than them.
Jax, Finn, and Leenie are still staring at me when I look up, so I try again. “He really can’t be there,” I say, growling. “They’ll eat him up.”
“If he’s left the gym to train with them, fuck him,” Jax growls but I see the hurt underneath his bravado. This picture is doing exactly what Psycho wanted it to. It’s getting in his head and under his skin.
“Listen, I mean it,” I explain again. “They’ll lure him in with stupid shit like alcohol, training, and video games. He’ll forget everything for a while. He’ll think it’s awesome there, but when he tries to leave, they’ll do something to make him stay. If you stay too long, you can’t leave.” Even as I say it, I know it sounds like some sort of crazy conspiracy theory but I’ve been with these guys so long, I know how they operate.
It wasn’t always that easy. But the more deranged people Psycho lured in—like Tiron—the more he got them to do whatever he wanted. If Psycho deems Clive useful in any way, he’s not going anywhere. Horror ripples through me as a thought niggles its way into my brain. This Clive guy will be useful because he knows Jax and Finn. This might even be Psycho’s secondary plan if I fuck it up. He’ll use him in some way. I’m sure of it.
Finn glances between me and Leenie. “I don’t know if there’s anything we can do. He’s a grown man.”
I breathe out a sigh, closing my eyes. I’ve been part of the people who’ve helped others stay. Psycho will get one of the girls to show him a good time. Ply him with sex and worry-free fun. He’ll show him a community, the likes of which some have never seen before. That’s why they stay.
Before Clive can even figure the truth out, he’ll be stuck. Psycho will get him to do something illegal which will be held over his head forever. The threat of jail is enough for anyone to quit their bitching and do what they’re told.
“Sadie...” Leenie starts.
“Fuck Sadie,” Jax spits. “Everyone has a choice.”
I hug myself tighter. He knows that’s not true. He’s saying it to hurt me. We’ve had ample discussions on this very facet of life so many times I can’t even count. He knows sometimes people just get stuck. He can make up whatever excuse in his head if he wants but it’s not the truth. He wants to blame me for everything. “Listen, hate me for what I did. I get it. I deserve it. But I know these people. They will chew him up and keep him there, and that’s best-case scenario. Worst-case scenario is that they don’t find him useful.”
“What happens then?” Leenie asks, forehead lines riddling her features.
Jax scoffs. “Let’s get in the fucking car and go home. I don’t want to listen to any more of this.”
Leenie gives me a sympathetic look. She unlocks the car, and we all get in. Jax and I share the backseat even though we’ve both found the furthest spot away from the other that we can. Finn attempts to start conversations but they fall flat. Jax still isn’t breathing evenly. He flexes his fist every few seconds as if he’s envisioning beating the shit out of Clive for leaving their gym.
When we get home, Jax is the first out of the car. He storms up the porch and through the front door before we’re even out of the vehicle. Leenie blows out a breath before catching my eye. “He’d taken Clive under his wing. He’s a shy, quiet guy. He’s put on some muscle the last couple of months. He’d confessed to them that he’d been a punching bag in Rawley Heights High, and he didn’t want to be that anymore. Him leaving for another gym will hit Jax hard.”
“It’s not Clive’s fault,” I say, shutting the car door. “When someone first enters that storage facility, everyone acts like it’s the best place they’ve ever lived. It’s all a facade that they can’t keep up. It’ll be too late before Clive realizes what he got himself into.”
Finn moves closer. “What did you mean by the worst-case scenario being that they don’t find him useful?”
The concern in his gaze hits me hard. “He’ll disappear,” I say bluntly.
I know for a fact that Psycho lives up to his namesake. He’s killed people. He’s made people get on a one-way bus to nowhere. He’s threatened people that if they ever come back, he’ll take them out. His reputation is enough so that we listen, and we should.
Once the first few glory weeks are over, Psycho’s new lackeys understand what life is like in the warehouse. He makes big displays of his power over everyone at every opportunity. By the time the grace period ends, they’re scared to death of him.
Finn and Leenie stare at each other before looking at me. It hurts me to say it but I know I have to. “If Clive is as quiet and shy as you say he is, he doesn’t stand a chance.”
