Luna Rising by Sloane Murphy
Chapter Twenty-One
“Ican not believe you’re going to abandon me, and so early in the goddamn day too. Being this awake at this time of day alone should be illegal.” In true Nova fashion, she’s being dramatic as hell this morning. But at least she’s laughing, so I don’t have to take any of her scorn to heart. “This means I get to pick the furniture for the house if you’re not back in time, right?”
“Go for your life, my friend.” I grin at her as I repack for the second time. I only want to take the bare essentials, not wanting to be bogged down as I travel. The problem is, I don’t know how long I’m going to be gone or where the fuck I’m going just yet. I just know I need to not be here. Packing with that limited amount of information is really hard.
She sits up, looking at me from where she’s cross-legged on the bed, and bites her bottom lip. “You sure you don’t want me to tag along with you?”
“You and I both know that I’d love to have you with me, but you’re working toward your own goals here. And me… I’m good without… Well, I just need to find myself, and I don’t know how long that shit is going to take. It wouldn’t be fair for me to ask that of you and then derail your plans.”
“But what about our plans?” she says, twisting her hands. “Moving in together and ruling this roost?”
I can’t help but snicker as I picture a compound of chickens rather than wolves.
“That is still absolutely going to happen. I just can’t be here right now.” I smile sadly at her, but deep down, I know she gets it even if she is busy frowning at me right now.
“I really am going to junk punch that asshole the second I get a chance,” she says emphatically, punching her fist into her palm to prove a point. She grinds her knuckles into her palm for a short moment before glancing back up at me. “Any ideas who the girl is?”
I shake my head as I fold another t-shirt and tuck it into my duffel. “Not a clue, but no one else seems to know either. It’s weird, but like, I’m not going to ask around like a lovesick puppy either.”
“He’s such a dick, holding you accountable for your dad’s bullshit.”
“Not really.” I sigh and drop down onto the bed with her. It’s not easy to deal with but knowing the reason he rejected me has definitely at least helped me understand his motivations. “Could you accept your mate if they’d taken your parents and Danny from you?”
She crosses her arms and huffs. “No, probably not, but don’t you dare make me be reasonable, dammit. I am the captain of team Hating Jackson.”
“I don’t hate him.” I tell her with a shrug. Her open-mouthed doubletake is nothing short of incredulous. It’s weird, but it’s true. “I get it. Do I wish things could be different? Do I wish he went about it in a better way? Of course, but I don’t hate him, even if it seems like I should. I can’t say I’d have done anything differently if I was in his position.”
“I hate that you’re being so freaking reasonable,” she grumbles, making me laugh. Nova’s eyes flit around the room as she chews the inside of her cheek. After a long moment, she sighs before asking, “You’re going to check in every day, right?”
“I absolutely will, but if you disclose my location to my dad unless my life is in imminent danger…”
She holds her hands up and shakes her head. “All bets are off if you don’t check in or something. Otherwise, your location will be my best kept secret.”
“Fine, but only if I don’t check in for like, three days. Then you can call in the cavalry. I could just have no cell battery... or I could be under a hottie.” She bursts out laughing at the notion, and I try not to be offended. We both know the likelihood of me finding respite from the bond with another person is very low. The bond is a real son of a bitch like that. It’s one of the reasons why I’m not that worked up over the girl Jackson brought to the cafe.
Don’t get me wrong, logic definitely doesn’t win out in the moment, but when I’m removed from the situation… It doesn’t make sense. Even if he seems unaffected, I know enough about the bond at this point to know that he obviously has a really good poker face.
Temporary bliss isn’t an option right now.
“You drive a hard bargain, but I’ll agree to your three days nonsense. I assume you’ll be totally understanding if this is overridden because I get a direct order? Because sorry, bish, I’m not as strong as you are.” I hate the shame in her eyes as she admits this.
“If you get a direct order, follow it. That’s how the hierarchy works.” I shrug because I’m not completely unreasonable. “I won’t be mad at you. Not then, not ever. I love you way too much for that.”
“I love you too,” she says quietly before leaping over my duffel and hugging me. “Please don’t do anything stupid out there.”
“I promise,” I say, hugging her back. Our conversation got way more emotional than I thought it would, and I’m on the verge of tears. This is exactly why I haven’t told anyone but Nova that I’m leaving yet.
I’m pretty sure Maddox will try to follow me if history proves to be anything to go by. At the end of the day, I think he and I need a little break too. I’m going to break my own heart all over again if I think about it too much, so I try to think about literally anything else.
If this is what love is all about, then I’m totally good without.
“I’m going to go now before this gets too emotional, because if I start crying, I won’t stop, and my reputation totally can’t take that,” Nova says, squeezing me tightly before jumping from the bed. “I love you, be safe, bring a battery pack to make sure you don’t run out of battery life or some shit, and tell me the minute you leave. And the minute you arrive wherever you’re going.”
“I will. I should probably finish getting my shit together.”
“I love you. Drive safe.”
“I love you too.” She smiles and then turns, leaving me with a pit in my stomach. Is leaving really that great of an idea? I swallow down the indecision. I know deep down that I have to leave. It’s the only idea I’ve had that makes any sort of sense. If I can’t break the bond, maybe I can at least figure out how to live with it.
So I take a deep breath and finish packing up my bags. I don’t have much, but if I need anything else, the credit card Dad forced upon me this morning is tucked away in my purse. I grab my bags and take a look around the room, saying goodbye to everything I grew up with. Even if I come back, this won’t be my room anymore.
I shut off the light and pull the door behind me, closing a chapter of my life in a way I never really expected.
* * *
After about six hours on the 101 and all the sea air and beautiful views I could ever wish for, the ‘Welcome to San Francisco’ sign greets me as I enter the outskirts of the city. San Fran wasn’t on my list, but where better to lose myself than a city of dreamers? I pull over and fish out my phone, searching for a hotel that actually has space.
I have a feeling I’ll probably regret staying downtown, but the other areas of town either don’t fit me or my budget. Well, other than the Wharf, and the thought of staying in Fisherman's wharf with that smell and with my enhanced senses? No, thank you. I’ve read enough reviews of hotels near the Wharf to know that it’s not where I’m going to stay. Not that the icky, fishy smells will keep me away from Pier 39 or Alcatraz. I might be finding myself and learning how to deal with my bond, but that sure as shit doesn’t mean I’m not going to enjoy myself while doing it.
I pick a hotel that’s a five-minute walk from Union Square and less than a mile from Chinatown with free WiFi. What else does a girl need? Other than you know, decent sheets, but I’m pretty sure that’s a given.
Once I’ve checked in, I trudge up to the room, pleasantly surprised to find myself in a corner room with decent views of the city. I drop onto the bed, exhausted from the drive, but pull out my phone to text Nova anyway. A promise is a promise, after all.
Me: Arrived in San Fran, safe and sound.
Nova: So, erm, Maddox came here looking for you. You should probably text him. Luckily, I had zero clue where you were when he came a-knockin. Glad you’re safe, enjoy San Fran, I’m only a little jealous right now. <3
Me: Ha, of course he did. I’ll message him in a minute. I’ll send photos ;)
I sigh and pull up the thread for Maddox, taking note of the unread messages.
Maddox: Where are you?
Maddox: Luna, I’m not playing. Where are you?
Maddox: If you don’t respond soon, I’m getting Rebel to trace you. Don’t make me do it.
Me: I’m okay, I’m safe, but I need some time away from everything. I’ll let you know when I’m heading home.
Maddox: You need time away from me?
Me: I need time away from everything. I need to stop hurting and hurting everyone around me in the process. I need to find myself, and I need to do that without outside influence.
Maddox: You’re not hurting everyone around you. This is all because of that asshole isn’t it?
Me: It’s because of me. I don’t want you to hurt because I’m gone, but I need this. Please understand.
Maddox: I understand, I just don’t like it.
Me: I get that, but I’m not going to be sorry either.
Maddox: Go find yourself, but don’t lose who you are in the process. And let me know you’re safe.
Me: I will. I would have told you if you hadn’t hunted me first.
Maddox: This isn’t close to hunting. If I was hunting, I’d already be there with you.
I grin at his last message because I don’t doubt the truth behind it at all. He tracked me through the forest with little trouble. I don’t doubt he’d track me across the world if he thought I needed him. I drop a text to Mom and Dad, letting them know I’m safe and that I’ve stopped for a few days, but I leave it at that. I turned off the location tracker on my phone before I left the compound, dedicated to the plan of keeping them out of my fucking business and not trying to influence my decisions for once in my life.
The last thing I need is a tail. I drove like a mad woman at one point to make sure there wasn’t anyone following me. While I know that a Lycan could easily track me if they really wanted to—if they were a good tracker anyway—I’m hoping there’s no one out there looking for me. I practiced all of the evasive maneuvers Remy taught me, and I’ve already mentally mapped out four different exits from the hotel should I need them or run into trouble.
I push the thoughts away for brighter ones. I did it.
I’m finally free and out in the world, even if I do feel a little lost. The bond in my chest still aches, but I’m not so crippled that I want to curl up in a corner and never come out. I’m taking this as a positive sign that this was the right thing to do.
I decide I’m going to nap and shower, in that order, and then head out into the world. I want to do some touristy shit and see how long it takes me to get tired of all the humaning. But first… I definitely need a nap.
* * *
After a few days in San Francisco, eating way more food than I should and being all the more happy for it, I decide to try out the nightlife. I’m officially twenty-one, and while drinking isn’t high on my list of things to do, the idea of dancing the night away appeals to me more than I’m willing to admit.
So on my way back into the hotel, I head to the front desk where I’ve seen a girl working who totally looks like my kind of people.
She’s on the phone when I get there, and I actually pay attention to her name tag, because ya know, rude and awkward if I don’t. Totally didn’t picture her as a Tessa, but who am I to judge names out here? I don’t exactly look like a moon either.
“Hi, how can I help you?” she asks, all perky and sunshiney. I’m gonna need her to dial that back by about a thousand.
“Hey, I’m pretty new around here, but I need a night to let loose. I don’t want to go somewhere the tourists go. I’d prefer to go to an actual local place where I can dance the night away and just forget my troubles. Any recs?” She grins at me and instantly dials back her customer service persona.
“I’ve totally got you. My girls and I are actually headed out tonight if you want to tag along. I mean, it’s probably not a great idea to go out alone, but obviously, you do you. We’re heading to The Cage. If you want to dance the night away and forget about life, there’s no better place to do it, but you need an e-vite.” She pulls out her phone, waving it at me, so I pull out mine too. She pulls up a black screen, taps her phone to mine, and my screen comes up black too. “The password will appear at ten when it opens, but it doesn’t really get busy till about eleven. I’ll give you my number. Let me know if you decide to check it out, and I’ll let you know when we get there.”
“Thanks.” I grin at her while handing over my number too. “I’m Luna, by the way.”
“You totally look like a Luna, I’m Tessa. See you later maybe!” She waves just as a guy in a three-piece walks up behind me. She transitions instantly back into Stepford Wife mode. I laugh softly as I head to the elevator. It doesn’t take long to get back up to my room, and I swear, I’m almost proud of myself for reaching out to her. She totally had the answers I need.
I try to research The Cage, but it apparently is as exclusive as Tessa made it seem. The website literally just has an address on it. It’s intriguing as hell. I guess I’ll find out what it’s all about tonight.
The hours pass quickly and my only real dilemma of the day is over what to wear. I end up in a racer back crop top, a pair of black shorts that have a lace style skirt that comes no lower than my shorts at the front, but down to my ankles at my back, and a pair of boots. I finish it off with the leather choker and arm wrap that Maddox got me for my birthday.
I pull my hair up into a high ponytail, since dancing with it down isn’t really an option, and decide on a full smokey eye for my makeup. I check over my reflection in the mirror and smile. I’d totally do me.
I laugh out loud at my own ridiculousness and check my phone. It’s half past ten, so I drop Tessa a message to let her know I’ll be heading to The Cage and arrange to meet her out the front at eleven.
Me: This is just me checking in and letting you know I’m heading out tonight, so if I don’t check in at the ass crack of dawn tomorrow it’s because I’m asleep.
Nova: Look at you go, being all brave and shit. Personally that sounds like way too much peopling, but I’m sure you’ll love it.
Me: How are things back home?
Nova: Same old. You’re not missing anything here. Now go enjoy yourself! No thinking about life bullshit for your night out.
I grin and shake my head. I miss her and her snark so freaking much, but I definitely made the right decision by coming here alone. Even after only a few days, the bond is starting to quiet down a little… Well, so long as I don’t think about Jackson too much.
I shut down the thoughts before my bond wakes up and puts a kibosh on all of my plans for the night. I order a ride share on my way toward the lobby, excitement fluttering through my belly at the idea of just letting go for the night.
Tessa: We’re heading out now, let me know when you get there!
Me: Will do! Just ordered my ride, so I won’t be long
Tessa: See you soon!
I check my phone for the password that popped up a little while ago and take a screenshot just in case I forget it. It buzzes to let me know my ride's here, so I slide the phone into my pocket, double checking that my ID and money are in there too, and head to the street in front of my hotel.
I am beyond ready for this night.
As the rideshare heads toward the club, I start to wonder if my driver is a straight up serial killer. He drives me out to what seems like the middle of an industrial area without blinking a damn eye. It’s only when I see the other cars and the line of people stretching around the building that I breathe easy.
Me: I’m here
Tessa: Head to the front of the line. I’ll get Riley to let you in
I have no idea who Riley is, but if I get to jump the line that wraps around the building, I’ll take it. Especially in this outfit. It might be summer, but it’s actually pretty fucking chilly tonight. The rideshare drops me at the door, and I find Tessa, shivering, waiting for me. She stands next to the door man who is literally her mirror image.
“There you are! Riley, let the girl through,” Tessa exclaims as I climb from the car.
“Thank you!” I grin at the man who could be her twin and scurry into the heat of the club behind her. We’re stopped by another guy in a black on black three-piece matching Riley’s, and Tessa grins up at him.
“Tex, come on, you just saw me go out.” She flutters her lashes up at him, and he very nearly looks awkward.
“You know the rules, Miss Tessa. I need to see her password.” He looks at me apologetically, which only makes me laugh. The guy is big enough that if he didn’t smell entirely human, I’d question whether or not he was a supe.
“It’s fine.” I show him my phone, and he stamps the inside of my wrist without question. I can’t see anything, but then he waves a black light over it and a geometric diamond shines on my wrist. “Cool.”
“Can you let us in now, pleaseeee,” Tessa says dreamily at Tex, and he about melts. Not sure what their story is, but I bet it’s a good one.
“Sure can, Miss Tessa.” She takes my hand at his words and grins at me.
“Time to forget.”
He opens the black door he stands in front of, and the thump of the bass rips through me, making my heart race. Tessa pulls me into the darkness, and though I can barely see a thing with the strobe lights flashing, she walks as if she knows the place even with her eyes closed.
I follow behind her obediently, gripping her hand and knowing that if I lose her, I’ll be so fucked. There are so many people in here and the music is so loud that my heightened senses are officially assaulted and totally offline. I’m basically human here, which is an incredibly odd sensation. It’s pretty fucking freeing, though.
She comes to a stop next to a table in a dimly lit area, but I can at least see a bit better. “Girls, this is Luna, Luna these are the girls. We have this booth all night, so if you need to rest, you’ll be able to do it here. You’re safe to leave your drink on this table. No one will dare fuck with it. We’ll also have a bucket of iced water in about three minutes in case you want any.”
“You have the hook up, damn!” I exclaim, because her statement was off the charts.
“Yeah, my dad owns this place, and considering my surname is Morelli, no one would dare fuck with me or my friends.”
“I have no idea what that means, but if it’s good, then I’m good.”
She just laughs at me and shakes her head. “It’s good. Now let’s dance!”
* * *
I have no idea what the time is, and I don’t care. Tonight has been perfect. I’ve had a few shots after caving to peer pressure, but I only had enough to loosen up a little. I still have a perfect handle on all of my faculties.
I’ve danced all night long. It’s hot and sweaty, but the music’s good and has carried me away to a place where I give exactly zero fucks. Which is exactly what I was looking for.
I move along with the music, not even really trying. My affinity for music has always been a thing, and the beat thumps through me. Each hit breaks me apart before rebuilding me all over again.
The song ends, and I head back to the table to grab a bottle of water to find Tessa standing there arguing with a guy who has his hands on her.
I think fucking not.
“Everything okay here?” I ask, standing at Tessa’s side as her friends shrink into the booth.
The guy sneers at me and snarls, “Who the fuck is this?”
“I’m the bitch that’s going to make you take your hands off of my friend, that’s who the fuck I am.” I move closer to Tessa, fully prepared to remove this guy from her if that’s what it takes.
“Luna, it’s fine. Jackson here is just a little overzealous about his perception that I belong to him.” Hearing the name is a fucking punch to the gut, and my bond goes haywire. I push it down because right now, this Jackson has his hands on the girl who has shown me nothing but kindness, and that won’t do at all.
“I don’t care what his perception is, he needs to let you the fuck go,” I snap, and his grip on her tightens, making her squeak. I see red, and all of the pain and rage that fills my body at my own Jackson surfaces. I grab his hand on the pressure point, forcing him to release her. I use the same move I used on my own Jackson to bring this asshole to his knees at my feet without breaking even a hint of a sweat. “I suggest you fix your perception of reality. Any ideas that you have that it’s okay to grab a girl when she doesn’t want your hands on her need to be re-fucking-assessed too.”
His eyes go wide, and he trembles from his spot on the floor beneath me. “Your eyes,” he stutters, and I release him. I blink and take a deep breath. If he’s freaking out about my eyes, they’re glowing. Great, fucking Alpha born bullshit is definitely what I need right now. I take another handful of deep breaths to slow my heart rate, and I know I have my shit under control before I turn back to Tessa. Jackson scrambles backwards on the floor. Fucking scum.
“Damn, girl, you are a badass!” she exclaims.
“Are you okay?” I ask her, attempting to ignore the bond that’s trying to cripple me from the inside.
She nods as she rubs her arm. “I’ll be fine.” She looks over my shoulder, and I turn to see Tex escorting the guy from the building.
“Good,” I say, and pull my phone from my pocket. It’s three in the morning. Well shit, I really did dance the night away. “I’m going to have to jet, but I’ll see you around?”
“You can count on it.” She hugs me quickly, and I say goodbye to her friends, hightailing it out of the club before I shatter into a million pieces.
My breaths come faster as I reach the outside, sucking in lungfuls of air and trying to tamp down the pain that’s threatening to pull me under. There are no cabs waiting, so I take off into the darkness, running. My pain has me almost blinded, but I try to keep a base level awareness of my surroundings even though my nose tells me there are only humans around me.
I run up into the hills and eventually, when I can’t run anymore, I find a bluff overlooking the city and drop to my knees. I barely feel it as my bare skin crashes against the twigs and leaves on the dirt. The pain in my chest overwhelms everything.
I tilt my head back, staring up at the starry night sky and wondering why the Fates would do this to me. What could I have possibly done to deserve this?
Tears slide down my face, and there isn’t anything I can do to stop them. The pain swells inside of me, growing to the point of no return as my fingers start to tingle. My wolf is alert and baying inside of me. I want to let her out, but I know that running like that to deal with pain isn’t the best way to handle my pain.
Not after what happened last time.
I stare up at the moon, praying to any gods that might be listening that someone or something can help me take this pain away. I’m not sure I’ll survive living my life with the bond, crippling me from the inside out.
A scream rips from my throat as my fingers grip at the dirt. I try to force the pain out, struggling to center myself as much as I can.
I’ve never wanted to run home and curl up in the midst of everything that's familiar to me more than now, but I know that isn’t the answer either. So I huddle and cry until I’m hollow and the pain feels more like being numb than anything else.
One day I’ll be free of this—that's what I have to keep telling myself.
I’ll either be free, or I’ll be so numb it won’t matter anymore.
