Twist Me by Mia Monroe

Mitsu

“Wake up, darling,” I whisper, kissing Grey’s cheek. “Your phone is buzzing.”

He groans, feeling in the direction of the nightstand until he grabs it. He’s on his stomach, his hair completely covering his face.

“What?” he growls as he answers.

I snicker behind him. Not a morning person, obviously.

“What time is it?” he asks whoever is on the phone. He then grumbles. “Nah. Well, maybe. Hold on.” Grey turns to me, brushing hair off his face. “Want to do brunch with the guys?”

I shake my head. “No. I want to stay here with you. Alone.”

He smiles, his eyes still half-closed with sleep. “Gonna skip this round. Thanks, man. See you tomorrow.” He ends the call and rolls onto his back. “Luca.”

“The brunch tradition lives on.”

Grey chuckles. “I’m not that into it.” He stretches his long arms above his head, the T-shirt he slept in pulling up slightly. “I could use something greasy though. You want to order in?”

“Whatever you desire. Did you sleep well?”

He nods. “Yeah. You?”

“I did. Your bed is nice, but I think it’s mostly because I’m with you.”

Grey smiles, still looking sleepy. “You’re so romantic. Thank you for taking care of me last night. I had a blast. I think.”

I chuckle. “You did. It was fun seeing you let go.”

His smile fades as he reaches out for my hand. “I felt safe. I think that’s the thing with me. When I’m with you, I feel safe.”

I brush his hair from his forehead. “You are.” I drag a finger from his chest to his belly button. “What is your favorite tattoo?”

Grey twists his left arm to show me the inside. “This. It was my first.”

I study it while tracing my finger over it. “Tell me about it.”

“I wanted something to symbolize my transition. I thought of a rising phoenix, but it didn’t speak to me. I didn’t struggle and rise up like the phoenix symbolizes. I wanted something subtle, beautiful, like my transition was.” He points to the caterpillar closer to his elbow. “This is me when I was born. When they thought I was a girl.” Then he points to the cocoon dangling from a tree branch that’s connected to the caterpillar by a trail of winding dots. “This is me when I started transition.” His finger traces the winding dots that lead to a beautifully detailed butterfly with wings of purple and teal and flecks of gold. It’s flying away from the dots, taking flight. “This is me now.”

“It’s stunning.”

“Thank you.”

“Like the man it belongs to.”

Grey’s smile returns. “I’ll tell you something funny.”

“Please.”

“When I first started T, um, testosterone, all I could think of was growing hair on my face and getting a sharp, manly jawline. I didn’t want to look feminine anymore.”

I nod.

“I got a lot of attention before my transition for my looks and my height. Unwanted, obviously, because what they saw wasn’t who I am. I didn’t want to be desired that way.”

My brow creases.

“Midway through my sixth month on T, I noticed some changes. My voice for sure. My muscle definition.” He shakes his head, smiling. “But my face still looked the same. I didn’t look manly. I knew I had to give it time, but it was frustrating.”

“If it makes you feel better, it took me until I was damn near twenty to grow facial hair.”

Grey laughs. “That’s the thing. I realized lots of cis men have that challenge too. My mom found this show and she wanted me to check it out. It was a documentary about cis, hetero men who were struggling in the dating world because they were considered feminine by societal standards. One of them, I remember, was beautiful. His features were incredible. He hated it because he was perceived as gay, but he wasn’t. Women didn’t like his effeminate nature.”

I watch Grey as he speaks, his eyes shifting to the ceiling as he recalls the show.

“It hit me hard. These were men, assigned-at-birth men, who knew they were men, but they struggled to fit in against a gender norm they didn’t choose. That was a shifting moment for me. I accepted my face for what it is. My features were mine, and they weren’t masculine or feminine. They were just mine. My hair is long, my face has softness. I like it.” He smiles. “And I can finally grow facial hair.”

I smile, lifting his hand to kiss it. “You have amazing features, but your true beauty is your brave soul, your determination to live your truth, your willingness to embrace things that scare you. You take my breath away, Grey.”

His eyes turn glassy as he returns a kiss to my hand. “Whatever is in me that attracted you is a good thing. I really like you.”

“I really like you too.” I much more than like him.

“Let’s get some food and coffee.”

I nod. “You sure you want me to stay?”

“I definitely want you to stay.”

“Wonderful.”

The hours pass as we lie together on the couch, cuddled under a blanket, watching mindless television. Grey drifts in and out of sleep throughout the day, and it brings a smile to my face that he feels so safe and comfortable with me.

As I drag my fingers through his hair, he gazes up at me with a smile on his face.

“I could seriously get used to this, Mitsu.”

“So could I, gorgeous.”

* * *

A few nights later I start to put our dinner dishes in the dishwasher while Grey wipes down the island. We’ve been spending most evenings together. It’s strangely domestic and warms my heart in ways I’ve never felt before. It’s almost as if this house and I were waiting for him to arrive.

His energy is heightened tonight, though, so I know something is on his mind. It’s not negative, just different. But I’ve learned that when Grey is ready to tell me something, he will.

We finish up, but as I walk back to the living room, Grey stops me by tugging my wrist toward the bedroom.

“Can we go in there?”

“My bedroom?”

“Please.”

I study his face, noting his flushed cheeks, and my body tingles with anticipation. “Yes, of course.”

Standing in the room, Grey exhales slowly, dragging his hands through the length of his hair.

“I want you to see me before you touch me.”

I sit on the edge of the bed, my entire being aching to be close to him as he stands in front of me. I nod, pushing my own desires away to allow him to navigate this the way he needs to. I’m now aware of why he was restless during dinner.

Grey pulls his shirt over his head, reconnecting his gaze to mine as quickly as possible. My eyes roam over his strong chest. He’s toned with light muscle definition, his gorgeous flesh covered in ink, and my cock stirs once more. His fingers move to the button on his jeans, and as he removes them, he never breaks eye contact with me.

“I’m proud of my body,” he whispers. “I like it.”

I nod, filled with anticipation as he slides his jeans off. I want to see him desperately. Touch him. Taste him. I don’t really care what’s anatomically beneath his clothes. I just want him.

When he rights himself, he’s standing before me in a pair of black briefs.

“I wear a packer sometimes.”

I shake my head for a second. “I’m not sure what that is.”

“It’s a prosthetic. It gives the appearance of more than I can present on my own.”

“Okay.”

“You dated a trans man?”

“He didn’t wear anything.”

“Not everyone does.” He nods. “I’m gonna take it off now.”

“Can I feel it first?”

Grey’s face softens from anxiousness to what looks like happiness. “Yes.” He steps closer to me, lifting my hand to the bulge in his briefs.

I squeeze gently, surprised by the give and softness there. My eyes shift up to his.

“It’s my favorite one. It was an investment but worth it. It makes me feel good when I wear it.”

“It feels nice.”

He smiles. “When you come over, I’ll show you my drawer of dicks.”

I laugh softly. “You have a drawer?”

“I do.” His smile fades. “But I want you to see me tonight. The real me.”

“So do I. Please.”

Grey nods, hooking his thumbs in the waistband of his briefs. He slides them down, remaining upright as he shimmies them down his legs and kicks them off. My eyes take him in, every glorious inch of his body. He’s as muscular as I thought he would be, enticing me to touch. The light dusting of blond hair on his chest and stomach make me want to bury my face there.

Then my eyes move down to his dick, and I smile. I had no expectation of what I would see given his evasiveness, but it’s amazing and perfect.

“It’s small,” Grey says, “but it’s mine. I love it. It completed me.”

“It’s perfect, Grey. Everything about you is perfect.”

He lifts my hands and puts them on his flat chest. “I was late to puberty blockers, so I grew a small amount of breast tissue.” He traces my finger around his nipple. “They removed it here. You can feel the slight scar, but you can’t see it unless you’re looking. Especially with all my tattoos.”

“Not at all.”

He moves my hand down to his belly. “The hormones I took made it impossible to have a menstrual cycle, and I had an underdeveloped uterus, so we made the decision at eighteen to remove it all. I have no reproductive organs.”

“How does that feel?”

“Freeing, but also a little strange, when I think about it.”

“A lot of cis people have no reproductive organs either, for many reasons.”

“True.”

After a shaky exhale, he moves my hand down to his dick. “It’s extremely sensitive. I feel everything. I had a strong need for this. I couldn’t stand looking in the mirror and seeing the original parts. For me it was this massive disconnect. It was like the me in my head was at odds with the me in the mirror. I felt like I was looking at a stranger. I think that’s why touch became difficult for me. How could I let someone touch me, when I couldn’t touch myself?”

I nod, trying to understand, but mostly offering comfort.

“After learning my options, I considered a different surgery. A phalloplasty. I would have had a lot more length and girth, but it came with some tradeoffs. Through therapy, I realized size wasn’t what I needed to feel whole. I went with a metoidioplasty, which is created by parts I already had. I even have balls.” He leads my hand there. I touch them, and he smiles. “This was enough to silence the disconnect, and I use the packers when I want to feel or look different. I even have one that I could top with.”

I smile. “Good to know.” I touch gently. “I think your body is gorgeous and amazing, and I love how you did what you needed to do to step into the man you always were.”

He swallows hard. “Do you still want me now that you’ve seen and know it all?”

“Grey.” I stand so I can meet his eyes. “I absolutely still want you. I would want you regardless of your parts. The parts you have are extremely desirable to me because they’re yours. It’s you.” I cup his face. “Can I make love to you, Grey?”

“Please. I want to be yours.”

“You already are.” I peel my shirt off then pull his hand up and put it on my chest, over my heart, repeating the behavior on him. “And I am yours. We’re connected. Sex will only strengthen that bond.”

Grey’s eyes well with tears. “I’ve wondered so many times in my life who the first man would be. I wondered how long I would have to wait before it felt right for me.” He smiles as a tear slides down his cheek. “I’m so glad I waited for you.”

“Gorgeous, sweet, exquisite Grey. I have also been waiting for you.” I run my hand along his neck. “I am not a gentle lover, but I want your first time to be everything you want and dreamt about. Tell me how to be what you need.”

The look on Grey’s face right now—lips parted, pupils lust-blown, cheeks flushed—makes my heart flutter in my chest.

“Take from me,” he whispers. “Bend me. Twist me. Bring me to a place beyond what I could have imagined or dreamt. Be the lover you want to be with me. Take me there. Break down my walls.” He grips my arms. “I don’t want to be treated gently or like I’m fragile. I’m not. I want to be torn apart, exposed, brought to my knees. Because I know—” His voice breaks. “I know I’m safe here.”

Instead of words, I take his mouth, reveling in the taste that can only be described as Grey. He wraps around me, his tall, strong body somehow small and pliant in my arms as he submits. I twist us around, pushing us back until he falls onto the bed and I come down on top of him, still kissing, our bodies rubbing together.

“Please,” he whispers. “Let me see you.”

I pull away enough to get my linen pants off. I chose not to wear underwear, which I rarely do anyway, leaving no barrier between me and my lover. My erection springs free, thwacking against my stomach. Grey’s eyes widen.

“Wow,” he whispers. “I love it.”

“Thank you.” I’ve never thought about my dick much, but with Grey’s lustful gaze on me, I feel like a fucking rock star.

“Can I taste you?”

Fuck. A shudder of desire rolls through me. “Yes.”

He’s on me in seconds, sitting up to take me into his mouth. Swallowing my length, his pretty blue eyes shift up to mine, filled with desire and awe. I drag my fingers through his hair.

“Have you done this before?”

Grey shakes his head. “Only in dreams,” he manages before returning to his task.

“You’re perfect.” I throw my head back, lost in the sensation, as he does his best on me.

In some ways, this is new for both of us. The last time I was with another person was a long time ago. The sensation of another body interacting with mine, sharing heat and desire, is like being reborn again.

Grey gags, pulling off to compose himself, but a boyish giggle leaves his lips. “This is fun.”

I chuckle. “For me too.” I lift his chin up. “But it’s my turn now.”

His smile fades, replaced with a worried brow. “You want to do this to me?”

“Definitely. You good with that?”

He nods rapidly. “Nervous, but yes, I want to feel it.”

“So do I.” I push him back, stalking up his body like a wild cat about to pounce on its prey. I kiss him hard, falling deeper into his aura, absorbing his lusty energy.

As I kiss my way down his body, he reacts in different ways, sometimes twitching, sometimes relaxing. A quick check of his face, though, brings a smile to mine. He’s watching me, his teeth snagging his bottom lip, his cheeks flushed, chest heavy with breath. I suckle his nipples, drawing a ragged breath from his sweet mouth, before moving down and dragging my tongue down the happy trail of hair leading to my treasure.

I start by touching him gently, assessing his reactions before sucking him into my mouth. Grey arches his back as a low moan leaves his lips, encouraging me to do more. I lick and suck, playing with every part of him. He’s extremely responsive, even slowing rocking his hips up to meet my greedy mouth. I push his legs wider, burying my face between his ass cheeks and taking my first taste. Grey nearly flies off the bed as his fingers dig into my shoulders.

“Oh my god.”

“Good?”

He nods, rising up on his elbows to watch me. “So fucking good. Unbelievable.”

“Yes, you are, Grey.”

I continue working him over, my tongue alternating between his dick, his balls, and his delicious, clenched hole, just begging me to enter. I love the feeling of his cock in my mouth and the way he responds.

As Grey fucks against my mouth, I can tell from his breathing that he’s close, and I’m right. He comes apart, gripping the bed sheets and writhing beneath me. I bury my tongue inside his hole, intoxicated by his moans, his scent, his taste.

“Please fuck me, Mitsu. Please. Please.”

I squeeze my eyes shut to center myself in the wake of his moans.

“Mitsu...pleaseee…I need you. I need you inside me.”

“Baby...hold on.”

I exhale in a rush of breath, not wanting to blow before I get any further with him.

“I-I don’t have condoms, but I have lube.”

“I don’t need them. I’m a virgin.”

“I’m not.” I rise up so I’m hovering above him. “I haven’t been with anyone in years and I’ve been tested, but if you don’t feel safe, I’ll use fingers.”

Grey focuses his sweet eyes on mine. The lust-soaked look in them disappears for a moment when he blinks, gazing at me with complete clarity. He puts his hands on either side of my face.

“I trust you. Completely. I know you would never harm me or risk anything. Please. I don’t need them. I just want you.”

I nod, stealing a kiss. “You’re right to trust me. Hurting you would hurt me. I would never harm you.”

“I know.” He bites my bottom lip. “Please, please fuck me, Mitsu. I need you.”

Nodding, I move my hand between his legs, massaging his hole. He pushes down, trying to get my fingers inside. I break the action long enough to grab the lube I keep in my nightstand and slick my fingers before pressing one inside of him. He releases a long moan as if everything in him just calmed. His slack body is short lived as he begins fucking himself on my finger.

“More.”

I enter a second finger, surprised he takes it so easily. Grey shakes his head back and forth.

“What’s wrong, babe?”

“I need your dick. Your fingers are good, but I need more.”

“I want to prepare you. This is your first time.”

Grey grins up at me. “With a person. It’s not the first time I’ve had something in my ass. You should see my toy box.”

A surprised laugh escapes my lips. “I see.”

He grips my biceps. “Please. I can’t stand it anymore. I want to feel you, badly.”

“I will always give you what you want. Always.”

“Please…” he moans.

“Yes.” Sitting back on my heels, I open his legs, gazing at his entrance. I want this to be amazing for him, so I take a minute to center myself, breathing deeply to push down the raging storm of desire pulsing through my body. When I feel I’ve done the best I can, I line my dick up with his hole and push my way inside.

Grey’s breath catches, his eyes wide, his mouth slack. He’s unbelievably warm and soft inside, like a tight, velvet glove that clenches around my cock.

“Oh fuck,” I murmur. “Babe. Oh my god…you feel amazing.”

Grey focuses his eyes on me. “So good,” he whispers. “Fuck...me…Mitsu. Please.”

I lean forward, gripping his chin and kissing him hard. “I will fuck you, Grey. I will fuck you until you lose your ability to speak, but this moment means everything to me.”

He nods, his eyes glassy with emotion. “Me too.”

And with that, I let loose, fucking into him with every ounce of strength in me. His long legs rest on my shoulders, his hand working his cock in short, frantic strokes, face completely blissed out.

“Does it hurt?”

“No. Yes. No. Good.”

His words come out of him between my thrusts, but as he smiles, my concerns are alleviated. He’s just so soft inside. His body feels like it’s wrapped around mine, becoming part of me, a perfect fit. He lifts his hips from the bed, fucking himself on my cock. My eyes widen. I wasn’t expecting him to be so assertive in getting what he wants, but then his toy comment comes back to me. Grey knows what he needs and he knows how to get it from me.

I lean back on my heels, pulling him up into my lap by the waist so his head and shoulders are on the bed and the rest of him is on me. It gives him the leverage he was seeking as he bounces his tight ass on my cock.

“Jesus, Mitsu,” he murmurs, his hand tangled in his hair.

I push his hand away from his cock, taking over his pleasure. I want him to come over and over again. I want to be the one to turn him inside out.

The pressure is building in me, and I do my best to push it back, wanting to drag this out as long as possible. Grey is a fucking dream, a gorgeous, ethereal angel of a man as he works my cock far better than I expected. Just as I reach the edge, I push him off of me, earning a disgruntled moan as I move up to attack his mouth again. He kisses me back, as hungry for me as I am for him. He lifts his legs, inviting me back in, and I go, bottoming out in his warm slick hole in one thrust. I fuck into him, gazing into his eyes, stealing kisses, our bodies heated with lust.

“I’m going to fill you with my cum,” I whisper on his lips.

Grey moans in response. “Please.”

“Or do you want it in your mouth?”

“Fuck. Both. Please. Both.”

“Both?” Inspiration hits. “How filthy can we be, lover?”

“So filthy. Disgusting. Ruin me. Please.”

His desperate pleas melt away the last of my resolve, and with one final deep thrust, I let go, falling into blinding white light. I grip his body to ground me, whispering his name as my body empties everything I’ve got into him. When I’m sure it’s over, I open my eyes, gazing down at him. His eyes are closed as he whimpers, moaning incoherently, still rubbing his dick against my stomach.

Pulling out, I flinch but quickly move down his body. With a hand under his ass to collect my release, I suck his dick, sending him into his second orgasm of the evening as I push my fingers into his wet hole before licking it, reveling in the taste of us as he shudders against me, crying out my name like a reverent prayer. And then I’m above him, stealing his kiss and leaving him with the taste I could get drunk on. His eyes widen as he whispers, “yes,” licking my lips and the inside of my mouth. He pulls my hand to his mouth, sucking the fingers that were just inside him. A satisfied smile spreads across my lips as I witness his appetite meeting mine. Grey is my perfect match.

Cupping his face, I whisper, “This was everything sex should be. Thank you for sharing yourself with me tonight.”

Tears escape his eyes, sliding down his face. “It was so perfect. You were so perfect. I’m so happy it was you. I waited for you. Please keep me. I want to be yours.”

My heart beats a little harder in my chest. “You are mine. I told you. You were mine the minute I laid eyes on you.” Grey sniffs as I wipe his tears away. “You are so stunning. So special. So perfect for me. This moment is everything, Grey. Everything.”

He nods. “Everything.”

The words are on my lips. I could tell him right now that I’m in love with him. That I’ll never let him go. That I’ll drain the seas and pluck the moon from the sky just to see him smile. But I hold back. When it’s time to say those words, it won’t be after epic sex. I want him to know without a doubt that my feelings are real.

As he gazes up at me, his face the very picture of post-coital bliss, his eyes soften, and I wonder for a moment if he knows. If he can feel my energy the way I feel his. He might not know he loves me yet. Maybe he hasn’t let himself go there, but he will, and when he’s ready...

I’ll be right here waiting for him.