Till It Hurts by Cora Brent
Jace
Now
At first glance, Wyoming is a stunning place and if circumstances were different, I’d take some time to appreciate the backdrop of the magnificent snow-capped Teton Mountains.
My guy really came through and essential details reached my phone not long after I arrived at the airport in Midland. Having cash to burn is a lifeline at times like this and I had no trouble arranging for a private charter plane to ferry me to the Jackson Hole airport, which is the closest to Colt’s present location. Per GPS guidance, the coordinates I need to get to are a sixty minute drive from the airport.
The lady at the Jackson Hole rental car counter is fortyish and she’s giddy at the sight of me. “Holy cow. My son is not going to believe that Jace Zielinski showed up here at my counter. Can you autograph this brochure? And can I take your picture too? Holy cow!”
I’m running on no sleep and there are a million thoughts and fears competing for attention in my head, but the woman, whose nametag says Brenda, is starry eyed and I can’t bring myself to be a dick to her. I wind up autographing ten car rental brochures that will most likely be sold in an online auction and I smile big for the phone camera when she shoves it in my face.
It’s a weekday afternoon and the airport is not crowded at all, but the people who are around have begun to crane their necks and take notice.
“Is that Jace Zielinski?”
“Thought Jace Zielinski was like six foot ten.”
“I think that’s really him.”
“I don’t see a Super Bowl ring.”
“Duh. They don’t wear their Super Bowl rings every day.”
“Why not? I would.”
“Is there a back exit?” I murmur to Brenda. “It’s just that I’m in kind of a hurry.”
She nods with a wink and cups her hand at the side of her mouth. “Come around the counter,” she whispers as if we’re sharing a state secret. “Do you see that door behind me? Walk through it, turn left and open the third door on the right. It leads to the maintenance lot. I’ll tell Eddie to have your rental waiting for you there.”
I flash a grin. “Thanks, Brenda.”
She nearly faints.
The keys to a standard white single cab pickup truck are dangling from the skinny forefinger of Eddie, who seems rather put out over the disruption to his regular routine. He tosses the keys over without a shred of recognition in his dull eyes and then wanders off while picking his teeth.
I have a clear idea where I need to go, however my guts remind me that I haven’t eaten since last night. A sit down meal sounds pretty damn good, but I’m fresh out of the energy required to smile for more Brendas right now so a drive through hamburger will have to do.
The town of Jackson has the look of a resort place, a gateway to the mountain ranges and also to Yellowstone. I’ve heard it’s also something of a celebrity retreat so my face probably isn’t the only recognizable one around. One thing I failed to consider is that the temperature here is not nearly as warm as that of west Texas. My mind was all over the place while I packed up a single duffel bag and I wasn’t thinking.
I’m thinking now.
With a mouth full of fries and my eyes lingering on the majestic Tetons in the distance, I’m thinking about the fact that I’m going to be seeing Colt soon. I can recall with crystal clarity the shock of feeling my back hit the grass after the ball was out of my hands and realizing the brutal tackle came from none other than my best friend. That was the last time Colt ever played the game. And we haven’t spoken to each other since. There’s no way to know what to expect from Colt. Tori doesn’t say so in as many words, but it’s clear even she can’t guess what goes through her brother’s mind nowadays.
I don’t care what Colt thinks of me.
What a lie.
He can be as bad-tempered as he pleases.
Ha!
Really, my feelings don’t matter. What matters is that Tori needs her brother. And for Tori I’ll put up with anything and hold my tongue. The old Colt, the one that’s devoted to his sister, could not have vanished completely.
Please be true.
After tossing my trash, I quit the delay tactics and hit the road. There’s no traffic in this direction and the scenery is glorious to the point of surrealism. Someday, in calmer conditions, I’ve got to find my way back here and bring Tori with me. She’d love to see this.
The company Colt works for is a family operation functioning out of two small prefab buildings that probably get moved around from time to time. This is a few miles off the main road, down an old country lane that might have hosted wagons in a bygone era. Cutting the engine, I spot scattered residential trailers set apart and wonder if Colt lives in one of them.
There’s no one in sight, but the closest rectangular structure has the look of an office with a round gold and green sign that reads Hampton Homestead Company, est. 1982. I knock three times and a vaguely cross female voice calls, “Just come in!”
The cool interior smells like vanilla cupcakes, thanks to a burning candle on the edge of a nearby desk staffed by a young red haired woman. Her eyes are fastened to her laptop screen.
“Take a seat,” she says without looking at me. “Kent said he told you the interview starts at four, although my brother has been known to get specifics wrong.”
I don’t take a seat. “I’m not here for an interview. I’m looking for Colt Malene.”
Now she looks. And flattens her back against the desk chair. Her mouth, painted thickly with dark pink lipstick, opens like a guppy. “You look just like that quarterback guy.”
“Yeah, I hear that all time. Is Colt around?”
The pink mouth purses. She’s probably around my age but her attitude screams teenage immaturity. “He’s on site.” She checks her phone. “They’ll be done in about a half an hour and he always goes straight home, never to town to get a drink and have some fun. God forbid he should have any fun. He’s allergic.” She laughs at her own joke. “Who are you?”
“I’m an old friend. Is it all right if I wait for him?”
“Whatever. His place is the ugly green single wide about a quarter mile back that way. I would say to call him and let him know you’re waiting but if you know Colt then you’re aware that calling him is a waste of time. Yup, Colt Malene can’t be bothered with basic courtesy.”
“All right, thanks.” I wave and then make myself scarce before she goes on another Colt tirade.
The trailer I was directed to appears functional, inconspicuous and rather old. There are no personal effects or decorations in sight. Rather than sit in the truck and waste the fresh air, I sit on the rather shaky removable staircase that bends up to the trailer door. The signal on my phone isn’t great out here but I think about calling Tori. There’s no sound I want to hear more than her voice. However, she’ll ask where I am and I can’t risk getting her hopes up.
Shadows begin to lengthen as the sun keeps moving along on its daily journey. I can understand why Colt would choose to be here. It’s the kind of place I would pick too. Animal steps rustle in the thick woods at my back, the mountains keep endless watch and finally Colt Malene arrives in a blue pickup truck.
He parks on the east side of the trailer and I don’t know how he didn’t notice me but it’s clear he didn’t because he exits the truck with his head down and no urgency in his steps.
This gives me a few seconds to take stock.
In ten years he’s gained muscle and a reddish beard that was never more than a shadow in high school. Despite the differences, the sight of him is as familiar to me as my own reflection.
Colt looks up and freezes. His lunch cooler falls out of his hand and lands in the dirt.
I stand up. “Hey, Colt. It’s been a minute.”
Colt looks at the mountains. He shakes his head. Then his clear blue eyes return to me. “Jace Zielinski.”
That’s all he says. The tone in his voice is unclear. He could be saying my name as a curse or with sheer disbelief.
I take a chance, along with two cautious steps. “Can we talk?”
“How the hell did you find me?” His eyes have narrowed with suspicion.
“Wave around a big check and you can find anyone.”
He snorts.
“The girl in the office building told me which place is yours and that you’d be along soon.”
“Figures.”
“Is she your girlfriend?”
“No way. She just wants to be.” He cocks his head, and suspicion changes to curiosity. “Something tells me you didn’t stop by just to ask about my rollicking social life.”
“I didn’t.”
Colt has recovered from his initial shock. He bends down and swipes his lunch cooler off the ground. Then he edges around me and trots up the stairs to open the aluminum door. “I need a few minutes to clear my head and hose the sawdust out of my ears. You can stay out here or wait inside. Your choice.” He walks through the door with no further fuss.
It’s not a great start but he’s not flipping his shit either. I decide to wait outside.
Colt doesn’t keep me waiting long. He returns wearing a clean flannel and jeans and his closely cropped hair is wet. Keeping a rather wary eye on me, he sits down on his steps and props his arms on his knees.
He’s waiting for me start and so I do.
“Colt, I’m here for Tori.”
The reaction is instant. He’s stunned to hear his sister’s name leave my mouth. Then worry takes over and he shoots to his feet. “Where is she? What happened?”
“She’s home in Arcana. She’s safe.”
His relief shows before he gets confused. “She’s in Arcana? Why?”
“She’s been trying to contact you to tell you why.”
“Oh.” Suddenly he looks sheepish. “My phone suffered a mishap on the job two weeks ago. I haven’t gotten around to replacing it. Are you sure she’s all right?”
“She’s staying at Gloria’s house.”
He winces. “I was sorry to get the news about Gloria. I didn’t hear until after the funeral was over and I got the call from Elkins.”
“So you know about the house?”
“Yeah.” He eyes me. “I thought you and Tori didn’t talk at all.”
“We didn’t, not for years.”
He crosses his arms. “Are you there at Gloria’s house with her?”
“Yes. And yes, we’re together. Rochelle is staying with Tori until I can get back there. It’s true that she’s safe. But she’s not all right, Colt. Not at all.”
“Zielinski, quit the fucking word games. What’s going on with my sister?”
There’s no way to break the news gently. “Over the last six months, she’s become addicted to prescription painkillers. I believe she’s also suffering from some form of post traumatic stress.”
And then, holding back nothing, I tell him what happened to his sister.
Colt is devastated. I can see it on his face. He blinks away tears. He covers his mouth with one hand and squeezes his eyes shut.
“He could have killed her, Colt.” I have trouble saying this out loud. It’s been a sick and constant thought ever since yesterday morning.
He could have killed her. He could have killed her. HE COULD HAVE KILLED HER!
Colt’s sorrow is replaced with white hot rage. He breathes fire, bends at the waist as if in pain and curses at the ground. Then he straightens up. “Where is this motherfucker?”
“He’s not important right now.”
He tightens his fists. “Jace, you goddamn well tell me where to fucking find that bastard.”
“We’ll get to him, Colt. I promise. Tori needs us first.”
He swallows and grimaces. “How can I help her?”
“You can come home to Arcana.”
Colt turns and walks in the direction of the mountains. After half a dozen steps he pauses and examines them for a full minute. Finally, he turns back and nods. “All right.”
When I’m silent for too long he gives me a rather sad smile.
“Did you think I wouldn’t care about my sister enough to say yes?”
“If I thought that then I wouldn’t have come.”
“Does she know you’re here?”
“No.”
He frowns. “She didn’t tell me. She didn’t tell me any of it.”
I get the feeling he’s just talking aloud while trying to sort this out in his own head. While they were growing up, Colt and Tori were as close as any twins. They even have the same birthday. A year apart, but still. Everything fell apart when they left Arcana. It’s painful to think of all the years in between then and now, all the years of separation.
Me and Tori. Tori and Colt. Me and Colt.
We’ve been lost without each other.
“How long can you stay?” I ask him.
He shrugs. “As long as she needs me around.”
“That might be awhile.”
He nods. “I’ve got to go talk to the boss. This job was only supposed to last another two weeks so I need to pack up all my shit. Good thing I don’t have much shit.”
Colt starts walking briskly in the direction of the Hampton office building. He offers no indication that I ought to follow so I don’t. I return to the stairs for another episode of sitting and waiting. The light is rapidly vanishing and my lack of sleep is really starting to take a toll. I’m beginning to nod off when Colt returns a quarter of an hour later.
“Is it past your bedtime?” he asks, noticing that I’m about to slouch over.
“Something like that. What did your boss say?”
“He wasn’t happy but he’s a family man. He gets it.” Colt points to the white pickup parked in the clearing. “That yours?”
“Rental. I flew here.”
“Well, you’ll beat me back to Texas but I’ll be out of here before dawn.”
“Why don’t we drive together?”
He pauses. “You serious?”
“Sure. We’ll take turns driving and burn straight through. We should get there early Thursday.”
Colt rubs his beard. “Yeah, that might work.”
Maybe it’s too soon for jokes but I push my luck. “Come on, if I can put up with you for Tori’s sake then you can do the same.”
Colt snorts and gives me the bird. “From what I hear you’re not exactly a big ball of charm.”
“Never believe the tabloids.” I get to my feet. “I’ll just sleep in the truck.”
He gives me a long look. “You seem like you’re about to fall over.”
“Last night was rough. Not a minute of sleep. Then I went to the airport first thing this morning.”
Colt laughs through his nose. “You’ll freeze your NFL ass off sleeping in the damn truck all night. And you know what? I don’t feel like explaining that to my sister.” He jerks his thumb. “The guy who was living in the grey trailer down that way cleared out last week with no notice. I know the key is under the stairs. No one will be bothered if you sleep there.”
I’m strangely touched. “Thanks, Colt.”
“Yeah.” He passes me on the way to his door. “Plan to be ready to go at five a.m. Don’t make me come banging on the door to search for you.”
“I’ll be ready.” I’m already heading in the direction Colt pointed to in order to seek out a shower and a flat surface to pass out on.
“Hey, Zielinski.”
I turn. “Yeah?”
It’s almost dark but I can see his grin. “Good game.”
I play dumb. “Which one?”
He rolls his eyes. “Wiseass.”
It makes me happy to hear that he saw it. I’ve always wondered about that, if Colt was out there somewhere watching.
The chill of the nighttime mountain air is really starting to kick in. In another minute I’ll be rubbing my arms to keep warm. Colt has frozen in place and his head is tipped back as he considers the night sky. The next words he says are unbearably mournful.
“I’m afraid that I’ve failed her, Jace.”
He can’t see me nod in the darkness but I do. “I know the feeling, Colt.”
Abruptly, he quits staring at the sky. “Get some sleep. Remember, five a.m.” Two seconds later the door opens and shuts and I’m left to go find the empty trailer.
It’s a comfortable enough place to spend the night. The pile of musty bedding found in a cabinet isn’t resort quality but it’ll do. After a quick shower that’s not exactly warm, I’d probably fall asleep on a pile of nails if that was the only thing around.
In my last moment of lucid thought I’m dwelling on Colt’s words.
Tori and I have found our way back to each other but that is only part of the story.
Colt and Victoria Malene still have their own reckoning ahead.