Giving Away by Lola King

CHAPTER 14

‘Lover, hunter, friend and enemy

You will always be every one of these

Nothing’s fair in love and war’

Love and War - Fleurie

Jamie

He’s wearing a crisp white button-down, as usual, and the sleeves are rolled up to his elbow showing his strong forearms covered with countless tattoos. Like Jake, he’s popped out the first couple of buttons but on him, it shows the tattoos that creep up to the bottom of his neck. Sitting on a wide wooden garden chair, he’s resting his arm on the armrests, his strong hand hanging on the side, holding a beer.

I can’t help but examine his face. He’s completely healed from weeks ago when Jake, Chris, and Luke beat him up. And he definitely looks more composed than the drunken state he was in.

“Who was it?” His voice makes me jump. I was so lost in him that I forgot what he said.

“Wh-what?” Why am I stuttering? He never had this effect on me. He shouldn’t.

A few different mocking laughs rise up and, only now, do I realize we’re not alone.

Roy and Carlo are sitting on a bench to his left and Sam is sitting to his right in the exact same kind of chair. Roy and Carlo are looking at me with sardonic smiles on their faces. They’ve clearly just laughed at me. Sam is barely paying me attention, his gaze looking for someone in the crowd.

But Nathan… Nathan is looking right through me. His piercing gaze is calling my name like a terrible curse. Like an enchantment promising nothing but chaos. His hard face softens and a cocky smile tugs at his lips.

“Who was it that told you off, ‘Me?” he repeats.

That nickname on his lips makes me shiver. It brings back all the memories. It makes me miss the good times, the pleasure, the love. It also reminds me why he’s not allowed to call me that anymore. He betrayed me. He cheated me. Only my friends and family get to call me this.

Jake doesn’t call me ‘Me.

No, Jake calls me Angel and Baby because he’s special. More special than anyone else.

“It doesn’t matter. No one.” I wave a hand in the air to show the unimportance of the topic.

Why am I even talking to him? I shouldn’t be near him. It gives him the wrong idea. It makes him think he’s got a hold on me, which he doesn’t.

Doesn’t he?He used to.

He didn’t. He did…does. I don’t know.

The fight going on inside me is making me feel dizzy.

Or is it Nathan?

I don’t know. And I don’t want to.

I take a step back. We don’t have anything to say to each other. At least I don’t.

“Enjoy your night,” I say coldly as I’m about to turn away.

But he’s too quick. He’s always too quick. He could sense I wasn’t going to stay while I was still debating myself.

His free hand is on my wrist in a split second. He didn’t even have to get up. When did I get so close to him? I could swear I was a few steps away when he called me.

“Wait,” he orders with a low voice. He’s not sweet or begging, he’s expecting me to simply obey.

I look at the men around him again. He’s the boss here. He’s the head of their little organization and it shows.

He’s Bianco’s right-hand man, I remind myself. I wonder how many people work for him. How big is their organization? How many of them are here tonight?

“Do not touch me,” I fume. I snatch my hand away but can’t seem to get myself to walk away.

“What are you doing here?” he asks. “Parties aren’t your scene.”

I scoff at his audacity. “You don’t know what my scene is. You don’t know me.”

Way to sound like a teen Jamie, keep going.

He chuckles mockingly at me. “I think I know you. Enough to know you shouldn’t be at a Frat party.”

I’m about to retort that he shouldn’t be at a frat party. That he’s too old, that his business is so damn wrong, but I freeze when a strong hand clamps the back of my neck. I’d recognize this possessive gesture anywhere, anytime.

“I’ve been looking for you,” Jake’s low voice resonates in my ears.

Jake.

I told him I was going to be a minute. Then I went to the backyard, then I eavesdropped on Rose and Rachel and then…Nathan happened.

I should have ignored him. I should have kept walking and found my best friend, text Jake, and forget he was even here. But I didn’t. I fell into the trap. I kept the conversation going and now the worst that could have occurred is happening. Jake and Nathan, face to face.

What were the chances Nathan was going to be at this party? What were the chances of them bumping into each other at a party with hundreds of people?

“Don’t worry Jake, she was just with me,” Nathan taunts.

“I-I was looking for Emily, I was about to text you,” I justify. “Let’s find her.” I try to move but Jake’s hold tightens as he settles beside me.

He looks at the guys and back at his brother.

“I’m glad you healed fine,” Jake taunts. “Would be a shame for that pretty face to scar. Don’t you think?”

My heart picks up and sweat rolls down my back, like sensing the imminent danger. Jake is trying to undermine Nathan in front of his subordinates and he’s not going to take it. He simply won’t and I can’t stand and wait for it all to break out.

“You wanna know what I think, brother?” Nathan says as he slowly rises.

Jake tenses at the word and I can feel the anger vibrating off of him. Nathan takes a sip of his beer and casually puts it on the edge of his seat. He walks to us until he’s about arm-length away from Jake.

“Please, let’s go,” I beg Jake, trying to take a step back. I try to grab his hand but the one that’s not on my neck is already balled into a tight fist.

“I think,” Nathan continues, ignoring me as he wipes his nose. “I think you should take your hand off my girl.”

A loud laugh escapes Jake’s mouth as if it was the last thing he expected to hear.

“But see, Nate–”

“Jake, I want to leave,” I try again but none of them can hear me.

They’re too deep into their mutual hatred. They’re too far gone already. Jake doesn’t even pause to listen, he keeps going.

“–what you’re saying only works if your girl was around. I see your three bitches but I sure as fuck don’t see your girl around here.”

A disapproving scoff escapes Roy and both he and Carlo start the momentum of getting up, but Nathan puts a hand up to stop them and they both stay put.

Sam finally pays attention to us. He runs a hand behind his tattooed neck, and I notice his strong biceps and shoulders flexing with apprehension.

“Nate,” he warns. “If you get in a pointless fight, you’re going to give us a shit reputation. None of these rich kids will buy from us because they’ll be too scared and you’re most definitely not going to have a good time explaining to Bianco why we can’t sell in Stoneview anymore. Just because you got territorial over a bitch.”

I’m pretty sure that’s the most I’ve ever heard Sam talk since I’ve been made aware of his existence. I have to bite my tongue not to insult him for calling me a bitch – in his crisp British accent – because, technically, he’s on my side right now. The side that doesn’t want it all to explode.

The tension is such that I feel like Nathan is holding a tank of gas and Jake a match.

Nathan looks like he’s thinking over what Sam just said. He won’t retreat but I see in his eyes that he’s trying to calm himself down. Bianco gave him a whole town to run. He also sent him straight to war with Volkov. He must trust him.

As Nathan’s shoulders relax slightly, I actually think this is going to be over. But Jake consciously lights up the flame that will make everything explode when he drags his hand from my neck, down my back, along my hip, and grabs my ass tightly. Nathan’s eyes don’t leave his brother’s hand and the eruption of fury in them makes me wish I hadn’t ever met any of them. For a second, it makes me wish I didn’t even exist.

“Let’s make shit clear, brother,” Jake says, leaving me and taking the final step that separated them.

“Jake,” I panic.

“Jamie’s not your girl anymore.” His hand lands on Nathan’s shoulder in a grip so tight I’m surprised it doesn’t show on either of their expressions.

Their gazes don’t leave the other. “In fact,” Jake drawls, “I don’t think she ever was, you know?”

I know exactly where he is going, and I can’t stop my body when I join Jake and put a hand on his arm. Nathan doesn’t deserve me, but he doesn’t deserve what Jake is about to say.

“Please don’t,” I try to stop him even though deep down I know there’s no point.

“She was never your girl because every time you turned your back. Every time you dropped her at school. Every single time she wasn’t with you. She was with me. She was with me at parties when you thought she was at home. She was in my room when you thought she was in her bed. Whatever you did to her, I was doing it better in our school bathroom, in classrooms, in my car…fuck the list is too long to waste my breath on it. Just know you didn’t count. You never did.”

I can feel the satisfaction rolling off Jake’s tongue. He needed his revenge like the air he breathes. He needed to use something against his brother and he purposely decided that it would be me.

The disappointment I feel is too deep to even understand it myself. I thought he was getting better. I thought he was letting go of his past and resentment but that never happened. I lied to myself because I wanted to make a good person out of him. It was pointless.

It was all trivial.

There’s a long silence, Nathan looks at me as if seeking the truth in my eyes. I know he can see the flash of guilt just like I see the flash of pain in his. When he clicks that everything is true, and not just Jake trying to rile him up, he lets out a short chuckle.

“Huh.” Is the only sound that comes out of him.

All the men around me are looking at me like I’m some kind of witch that just cursed all of them. Them, their family, and their next three generations.

“You’re fucking dead, Jake,” Nathan says in the lightest tone possible.

Those are the last words before his behavior shifts completely.

Next thing I know, his fist is crashing against Jake’s temple, violently pushing him a few steps back. I can’t help a shriek.

“Don’t!” I scream but Jake is already walking back to Nathan.

I don’t think, I just follow my body. I put my adrenaline-controlled self in between them, my back to Jake, and facing Nathan.

“Jamie, get out of the way,” Jake growls.

“You heard him,” Nathan confirms.

“Please, please stop. Nathan, leave it, I’m begging you.” My voice is strangled by the sobs constricting my throat and pleading to be let out.

I can’t let this happen. It’s my fault. It’s all my fault because I was too fucking stupid and selfish to make a choice.

I know Nathan is going to kill him if I get out of the way. I saw what he did to Dimitri for touching me.

A few people are looking at us from afar, not too sure if this is going to turn into a full-on fight. The music is too loud to confirm our words, they’re too drunk to fully comprehend our situation. But I know.

I know if I step out of the way they won’t stop until one of them isn’t standing anymore. Roy and Carlo have stood up behind Nathan, and Sam is eyeing every single one of us as if he is calculating the chances of this going to shit. It’s too late, Sam. This went to shit months ago when I made the biggest mistake of my life getting involved with the Whites.

“Get out of the way. It’s your last warning.” Nathan is looking right in my eyes, but I don’t recognize him.

I used to drown myself in these eyes. Now they’re burning with rage. He’s insane, bestial, possessed.

I shake my head no at him. Desperate to protect Jake, myself, him.

I don’t realize what’s happening until it’s too late.

Nathan grabs my jaw with one mighty hand. He’s not hurting me, but I can’t go anywhere. “Get out of the way or I swear I’ll hurt you,” he barks.

The last shreds of his control are slipping away, and I think he saved them for me. He could seriously hurt me. Instead, it takes him a total of two seconds to take a sidestep and push me hard enough to make me take a few steps back without shoving me. My heels make me slip on the tiles and my ass hits the floor.

I don’t hear what Jake says in the seconds it takes me to grasp what just happened and when I look up, they’re already beating each other up.

I hear Sam utter a ‘bloody hell, Nate’, and next thing I know two arms are helping me up. I end up face to face with a slightly alarmed Sam.

“Get Rose, hurry the fuck up.” He turns around and tries to grab Nate but it’s about as possible as catching plankton in a fisherman’s net. He’s too quick on his feet, jumping there and back, fighting like he is in a boxing ring.

I run back inside like my life depends on it. Mine might not be but Jake’s surely is. Thankfully Rose is still in the Orangery, this time on the phone. She must see my face straight away because she straightens up and her hand holding the phone falls by her side.

“What’s wrong?” she asks.

“J-jake and Nathan they’re…” I pant.

She doesn’t need any more explanation. In a split second she’s sprinting outside, and I follow closely. “Should I call the cops?”

She turns to me suddenly and grabs my shoulders. “No. Never, you hear me? No matter what, you don’t call the cops.”

I nod quickly and she’s back on her way.

A crowd has already formed around them, and Rose and I have to push our way through. When we get to the front, it’s worse than I thought.

I feel like my worst nightmare is unfolding right in front of my eyes. Chris is in a heated argument with Roy and Carlo, about one second away from getting in a fistfight themselves. Some people are shouting encouragement, some shouting to stop but Jake and Nathan don’t hear anyone. They haven’t tired one bit and are relentlessly going at each other. Their skills make them look like professionals.

“Nate. Nate, stop,” Rose says as she hurries towards the both of them. Of course, he doesn’t hear her.

As soon as they both take a step back from the other, she gets in front of Nathan. “You tryna go to prison or something? Calm the fuck down.”

“Why don’t you tell him to stop, huh?” Nathan replies as he wipes a bloody lip.

“I will!” She runs her hand through her hair, pointing at Jake with the other to show she’s about to go to him too.

The two brothers are using this break to catch their breaths, but they look far from over.

“No, you won’t. You won’t tell him to stop because you always side with him!” The jealousy burning in Nathan’s eyes runs deep.

Is this as far as the competition goes between them? Putting Rose in the middle of their feud?

“Nate, don’t be like this–”

“Leave, Ozy,” he cuts her off.

A sudden commotion starts next to them as Roy, Chris and Carlo go at it themselves.

“Fucking…shit,” she mumbles to herself like all of this is just a small inconvenience.

She doesn’t seem too fazed. Like this has happened too many times before.

Nathan goes around her while she’s distracted, and I suddenly feel a surge of uncontrollable panic. My whole body shakes and I have to hold my hair at my roots to try and stop it.

“Please, please, please stop,” I whisper to myself perfectly knowing none of them can hear me.

Everything is too loud, I’m too hot, everyone is too close. Everything becomes blurry and all I can focus on is Rose’s voice and her skinny form as she tries to calm down her brothers. Two arms suddenly wrap around my shoulders.

“Jamie, calm down it’s going to be okay.” Luke’s voice barely pierces through the noise of the crowd and the ringing in my ears.

I can’t take it anymore. My knees give up and I would have hit the floor had Luke not been holding me tight against him. He pulls me to the side and helps me sit down on the floor.

“You’re fine, I promise. Just panicking–”

“Jake, shit, stop!” Rose’s yelling cuts Luke short.

She’s slowly losing her composure and it makes me panic even more. Has it not gone that far before?

“Stop it or I’m calling the police,” Beth’s whiny voice reaches my ears and Rose’s dead stare turns to her.

She’s pissed. Murderous even. She’s on Beth in two strides and slaps her phone out of her hands and into the floor before stepping on it.

“No cops,” she growls, her voice a warning to everyone.

She’s back on Jake in a split second. “Jake…Jake people are gonna call the cops. You hear me? You need to stop this now.”

He hears her but it clearly doesn’t register. She pulls at her hair and turns to Sam. “Fucking do something,” she shouts at him her arm pointing toward the two brutal fights going on next to her.

“You want me to do something? Fine!” he replies. “Remember you asked.”

Sam is big, tall, and clearly strong. He could probably snap Rose in two with one hand. But I’ve come to learn being big doesn’t necessarily mean powerful. Jake is bigger than Nathan but he’s certainly not in a dominant position right now.

My attempt at a rational reflection is cut short when Sam gets in-between them. In one swift, violent punch he knocks Nathan out cold. He then proceeds to knee Jake in the guts, hard enough to make him fall to his knees.

I try to get up, I want to get to him, but my legs give up straight away.

“Why?” I look at Luke, dread filling my whole body.

“You’re just having a small panic attack. Just breathe, Jamie.”

“Jake,” I cry. “It’s all my fault.”

“He’s fine. I promise you he’s been through worse.” It should help but it doesn’t.

Why? Why has he been through worse? Why is life so unjust?

Sam walks over to Chris, who was holding his stance so far against Roy and Carlo, and grabs his shoulder to turn him around.

“Enough! Enough you made your fucking point,” Rose shouts at him.

“Ah, but I’ve been waiting so fucking long to knock out your overprotective rich mate.”

“Enough, Sam,” she seethes.

Chris’s attention turns to Sam and Rose completely and in that split second, Carlo’s punch catches him in the jaw. He staggers back and falls to the floor. Roy is about to kick him when police sirens are heard outside. Everyone starts to panic, and the crowd of underage drinkers disperses.

Sam grabs Rose straight away, she fights him back but isn’t left with much of a choice when he lifts her up and leaves with her.

Luke helps me up and I walk to Jake as he runs to Chris.

Nathan is slowly coming back to reality next to us.

“Are you okay?” I ask him.

He doesn’t say anything for a few seconds. One of his eyebrows is bleeding and he spits blood on the floor.

“I’m fine.”

Heavy boots can be overheard coming our way and I’m almost relieved that it means it’s officially over, but Jake obviously thinks the opposite.

“Fuck,” he whispers. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

As soon as the police appear in the backyard and a few officers call toward us it hits me: he’s still carrying his gun.