Never by Blue Saffire
Chapter 29
Never Letting Go
Gutter
“Fuck,” I mutter to myself.
This has been the longest fucking day ever. As I watch the prez claim his pregnant woman, I shake my head. I’d seen them ride off together once before, but that shit was none of my business.
Just like it’s none of my business now. Sal looks exhausted. I’d planned to get her fed and take her to my room to get some rest as soon as we arrived.
I managed to get her belly full, but the moment she saw her sister and Misty, I knew the rest of my plan wasn’t going to happen. As tired as she looked, there was determination in her eyes to spend time with the girls, which, to my surprise, included Reap.
Now that the prez has lost his shit for the second time today, I think it’s time for us to at least try to get some sleep. I’m sure King is going to want to go another round with both Brick and me when the girls aren’t around. I’m ready to give my pound of flesh.
It is what it is. Nothing is going to change between Sal and me. I walk up behind her, wrap my arm around her waist.
Then I lean in to whisper. “Let me tuck you in, baby girl. You’re home now.”
That pretty smile is on her face when she turns to me. I don’t know how I’ve survived this long without that smile in my life, but I don’t plan to find out what life is like without it.
Without words, she tucks into my side, allowing me to walk her back to my room. I can’t believe I’m a little nervous. I was ready to stand up to the prez without flinching, but knowing I’m taking my girl into my space has me breaking out in sweat.
I never have people in my space. Seeming to feel me about to lose my shit, Sal squeezes my waist and snuggles deeper into my side. I calm right as we reach my door.
I pull out my key, licking my suddenly dry lips. It’s as if I’m opening the door in slow motion. When I finally get it unlocked, I push it open for Sal to walk through the door first.
I watch her as she walks past me into the mid-sized space. The Lost Souls take care of their own. I know, for a fact, we have nicer quarters than most clubs.
While the room isn’t as big as the one the prez is in, it’s a decent size, big enough to place a king-size bed in. There’s a bathroom attached on the right side. I haven’t done much with the place.
It still has the same bare beige walls that were here when I moved in. I don’t have pictures from my past and there’s nothing to really say the place is mine. My apartment is sort of the same.
I never got around to making either mine. Sal walks right over to my bed and sits on the right side, facing the bathroom. I step inside and close the door behind me.
Watching her move about as if the space belongs to her as well, causes me to relax a little more.
“I’m going to shower,” she says tiredly, while unzipping her boots.
“You need anything?”
She looks up at me, a soft smile on her lips. “Just you,” she replies.
I nod, shrugging out of my cut and tossing it over the chair in the corner. My boots are the next thing I get rid of before I tug off my T-shirt. When I get my shirt over my head, I find Sal standing by the bed, naked.
I’m distracted by that sexy brown skin of hers. I allow my eyes to travel up her curvy body. I take my time to savor it.
The fact that I have the luxury hits me. We’re here, home in the safety of the club. When my gaze reaches her face, I have to close my eyes and say a silent prayer.
She’s so fucking gorgeous. I open my eyes to find her watching me cautiously through those long as fuck lashes. Her lower lip is caught between her teeth. I lift a questioning brow.
“You’re staring.” She giggles nervously.
“You’re gorgeous.” I shrug.
I remove the rest of my clothes, not taking my eyes off of her. I grin when she shifts from foot to foot. A shy Sal is a sexy Sal. I walk toward her, lacing my fingers in hers when I reach her.
She reaches for my chest with her free hand, running her fingers up to my shoulder and back down again. I flex my pecs while her fingers travel over my skin. My eyes remain on hers.
“You’re real,” she says, with a slight catch of her breath.
“As real as it gets,” I reply, placing a hand on her waist. I gently tug her closer.
“I…” The tears I saw in her eyes earlier on the road, begin to spill over. “You saved my life. For a minute, I didn’t think I would get to touch you again.”
“That wasn’t an option,” I say between tight lips.
I reach to wipe her tears away with my thumb. Her plump lips purse and she nods her head. Her breasts press against my bare chest and she lifts onto her toes. Our lips don’t touch, we just breathe each other in.
I cup the side of her face and touch my forehead to hers. No words are needed. I’m not even sure how long we stand like this, but I can feel the electricity flowing between us the entire time. A fire burns in my soul for this girl.
Despite throbbing against her stomach, I choose to ignore that need. My need to be close to her and close to her only overrides all else. Her words hit home. There was a moment when I feared I wouldn’t make it in time.
I don’t know what makes me, but I start to sway our bodies together. Before I think better of it, I’m finishing the song I sang to her in the truck before all hell broke loose. It’s a song by Keith Urban, "Blue Ain’t Your Color".
I think it’s fitting. Sal wasn’t happy when we met. I could see it in her eyes. It was more than running from danger. I saw her, the real her, deep within those big brown pools.
Sal wraps her arms around my neck and holds me tight. I sing the song all the way through. When I release the last note, she lifts her head that has been on my shoulder to look me in my eyes. Her face is soaked with tears.
I use my palms to wipe them away, then lift her in my arms and carry her into the bathroom. Once I step into the shower, I place her on her feet. Then I reach for the lever to turn it on, but Sal reaches for my hand.
“When you turn that water on, we wash it all away. This is our fresh start. Everything will be okay from here. This is real, we can breathe again.”
I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat. If I didn’t love her before, I know I love her now. I turn on the water and let the washing begin.
Sal
I wake to a dark room and the warmth of a big body beneath me. I’m still naked from our shower earlier. I have to pee, and my stomach speaks up, telling me I didn’t eat enough.
I slide from Gutter’s chest, appreciating the warmth once it’s gone. There’s a little chill in the room. I look around. I’ve never seen one of the brothers keep such a clean room.
Another thing I notice, there isn’t a single thing in here that didn’t come with the room. I would know. My mom redid the entire clubhouse when Cage made her his old lady. Cage always took care of his boys.
Mom made every room here feel like home. Some of the brothers tried to pretend they couldn't care less, but I remember the looks on their faces when mom was done. Everyone loved her.
I feel the weight of thinking of Mom and Dad press down on me. I shake it off and move to the dresser to find a T-shirt. I smile at the second drawer that I find full of tees.
Gutter’s scent drifts into my nostrils. I grab one and slip it over my head. It’s a little oversized on my curves, riding high on my mid-thigh.
I pull the neckline to my nose and inhale as I walk to the bathroom. My stomach growls again, causing me to roll my eyes. After I relieve myself, I move to the sink to wash my hands.
A look in the mirror brings a sigh from my lips once I see the mess that is my hair. I comb my fingers through the wave on top, combing it into some semblance of a style.
It may be time for a cut or maybe something new. I shrug at the mirror when my stomach protests for the third time. Pushing my thoughts aside, I move back into the bedroom and find my underwear. I pull them on and tiptoe to the door.
I slip out of the room, it’s late. Some of the brothers are probably milling around in the main area of the clubhouse, but I can get to the kitchen from here without being seen. I turn the corner and smile when I see Misty standing in King’s doorway talking to Eva.
My smile falls when I see they’re in an intense conversation. I move closer to hear what they’re saying. My brows wrinkle as their words reach my ears.
“You are in no condition to come with me,” Eva protests. “I’ve got to go.”
“Go where?” I ask, concerned and curious. King said were on lockdown. No one should be going anywhere. “I thought we were on lockdown. What’s the matter?”
“Oh, God, Sal. I just got the weirdest call. Some lady says she’s Mom’s nurse and that Mom just woke up from a coma,” Eva says.
I feel the blood drain from my face. I stumble back as if her words have pushed me. I feel his heat at my back before I see him.
It’s like he knows I need him. My brain is reeling. I’m having a hard time processing my sister’s words.
“What?” I push past my lips, when I finally find my breath.
“You can’t go alone,” Misty calls out as she moves back inside the room.
The sound of her moving around inside greets my ears while my brain tries to catch up. I can only imagine her getting dressed, ready to be there because she knows Eva needs her.
“You’re not going anywhere. You three are under my watch until King and Brick get back,” Gutter says from behind me.
“Oh, the hell I'm not. I need to go find out what the hell is going on,” Eva demands.
“Calm down, Eva. How do you know you can trust this woman? I mean, this just sounds crazy. You can’t go running off. Think about the baby,” I say, worry setting in while my mind still whirls. I think I’m in shock.
“What if she’s telling the truth?” Eva stomps her foot like a little child. “I can’t not go. It’s Mom.”
I nod, feeling the tears gather in my eyes. My brain snaps into action. What if this is real? What if Eva is right? We have to find out.
I turn and look up into Pierson’s eyes. He has to understand how important this is to me. How much it means. He looks down at me and his gaze softens.
I know then and there he understands without me saying a word. I still choose my words wisely. I know how these bikers stick to their instructions. Gutter is already in the shithouse with King.
“Pierson, please, babe. She’s right, what if it’s real? What if my mom is alive somewhere?” I say softly.
He closes his eyes and nods. “We all go.” He sighs. “I’m not letting the three of you out of my sight.”
“Thank you,” I say and hug him around the waist before releasing him and turning to Eva. “I just need to throw on something to wear. Don’t run off, we’re doing this together.”
Eva bobs her head. It’s written all over her face she’s been crying. More tears surface and spill over.
My own heart squeezes. This could be real. That means my mother is somewhere out there, still alive. If it isn’t real, I know Eva will be just as destroyed as I will.
I don’t want to get my hopes up, but it’s already too late. After all I’ve been through, I could really use my mom. Whatever happens tonight, I know it will change my life forever. I have a feeling nothing will be the same after this.