Willow by Erin Osborne

Chapter Sixteen

Trinity ‘Willow’ Walsh

KNOCKING ON GRAMS door, I make my way in quietly in case she already turned her TV off and is getting ready to sleep. When I enter, she’s still sitting up in her bed with one of her shows on. I really don’t want to have this conversation with her, but it’s something we need to think about. If something happens to her because I’m being stubborn and refusing to go to the clubhouse for safety reasons, I’ll never forgive myself. Something in my face must let grams know I need to have a serious conversation with her. She turns the TV off and gives me her complete attention. Taking a deep breath, I sit down in her wheelchair before speaking.

“So, something bad happened today when Crave took me to work. Someone shot at the club, and he was hit. That’s why he has the bandage on his arm. Breaker and Crave talked to me before I took a nap, and they want us to move into the clubhouse for safety reasons. There are more people there to watch over us and make sure no one gets close to us,” I tell her, not wanting to go into great detail about what happened.

“Are you and the baby okay?” she questions me, her voice still steady as her eyes lock on me.

“We’re okay. Crave through me to the ground and covered my body with his,” I assure her without looking away.

“Why would they come after us here?”

“They could have seen Crave and Breaker here at the house with us. Plus, they know I work at for the club now. I’m a waitress at their strip club. I know it’s not the best job, but I’m hoping the money is enough to do what I have to do. There are things I didn’t want you to know about grams,” I tell her, still not letting her know about the insurance shit.

“What’s going on honey? You can talk to me about anything.”

“Your insurance has decided they don’t want to cover as much for two of your prescriptions. Instead of eighty dollars a month, it’s going up to around five hundred a month,” I let her know.

“That’s insane. Is that why you started working in a strip club?”

“It is. Plus I need money for the baby. I thought working there would let me take care of both things and I wouldn’t have to upset you about the changes. I already told you I don’t want to disappoint you. Ever. Now, I feel as if everything I’m doing is disappointing you,” I tell her honestly.

“You could never disappoint me. I love those two men out there for you. One is hard and as alone as you are. The other one, Breaker, is as free as they come and will open you both up to the possibilities of the future. Working in a strip club is nothing to be disappointed in either. You’re working to earn money to take care of your baby and me. I could imagine a thousand better jobs for you, but you’re doing what you have to. Trinity, you’ve put your life on hold for so long because of me. It’s time you start living for yourself and let those two men in. Let everyone in the club in. Stop holding yourself back because the fear of being hurt rules you,” grams tells me, reaching out to rest her wrinkled hand on my cheek. “The only thing I want in this world is to know you’re happy and loved. That you love in return and open yourself up to some amazing possibilities when they present themselves to you. I’m not going to be here forever, and I’m worried about you.”

“Grams, don’t worry about me. I love you and don’t regret a single decision I’ve made when it comes to you. You took me in and gave me a life I might not have had. There isn’t a single thing I’ve missed out on since you got sick, and I’ve needed to remain here to help you. Please don’t let this be a regret you have. I’m happy and you have shown me so much love and happiness since we lost everything. I cherish each day I get to spend with you,” I tell her honestly.

“We’ll go to the clubhouse. I don’t want anything to happen to you or my great grand baby. Breaker and Crave will make sure you’re taken care of when I’m no longer here. Let them in and take care of them the way they’ll take care of you,” my grandma tells me, her voice full of gentleness and love.

“Okay grams. I’ll let the guys know. We’ll move there tomorrow. Good night. I love you.”

“Goodnight sweetheart. I love you too,” she says, turning her TV back on to finish her program before going to bed.

Walking out to the living room, I let Crave and Breaker know Gram is okay with moving to the clubhouse. Breaker asks me to make a list of everything she’ll need there so I head to the kitchen for a pad and pen to make him the list. She really doesn’t need much of anything. The biggest thing is making sure she has somewhere to take a shower that’s got bars and maybe a seat. I don’t want her to slip and fall in the shower, or to have to take away any more of her independence. Right now, I have to help her get cleaned up because she can’t take a shower with a cast on her leg. It will be a few more weeks before she gets the cast off and can take a shower again. When that time comes, I know she’s going to be weaker than normal.

Handing over the list, Breaker walks outside with his phone to his ear. I know he’s more than likely calling Blood to let him know so things can be set up by the time we arrive tomorrow. I’ll do everything I can for my grams. If she’s not comfortable at the clubhouse, we’re not gonna be staying there. She’s been there for me my entire life. Now it’s time for me to be there for her.

“Baby, come here. I know you have to pack and all that shit, but we need to have a conversation about things. About my shit,” Crave tells me, holding out his hand to pull me to his side on the couch.

“What’s wrong, Crave?” I ask, not sure what he’s going to say.

“I know I’ve been a complete douche to you since findin’ out you were pregnant. There are a few reasons for it. None of it excuses my actions though. See, I didn’t always not want kids or an ol’ lady. When I was younger, I had a girl at my side. Thought we were gonna go the distance. I had proposed to her, and we found an apartment not too far from the club. She was my entire world and I loved her more than anyone else. When I wasn’t at the club, I was with her doing whatever she wanted. As long as I was with this girl, I was happy as fuck.

“Shortly after proposin’ to her, she started spendin’ a lot of time at the clubhouse even though I didn’t make her my ol’ lady. Within two months of gettin’ engaged, she told me she was pregnant. I was over the moon. I couldn’t wait to be a daddy. It wasn’t long before secrets started to come out. Whenever I was on a run, my woman was fuckin’ any man who’d take her. She was drinkin’, smokin’, and doin’ whatever the hell else she wanted. I was furious and confronted her about the shit in the middle of the clubhouse. Turns out more than a few of my brothers had fucked her too.

“At the end of the day, she only said yes to marryin’ me because I was almost patched in to the club and she wanted ol’ lady status. Even knowin’ we were engaged; I just couldn’t take that leap of makin’ her my ol’ lady. Somethin’ inside held me back and I didn’t understand until she dropped some of her own truth on me. Not only was she a patch chaser, but the bitch also wasn’t even carryin’ my baby. Well, at least that’s what the DNA test said. She cried and tried to tell me until the bitter end the baby was mine. The little girl belonged to some asshole in town. He was fuckin’ her on a regular basis when she’d go out to the bars.

“This woman completely shattered my trust in women. It was then I started sharin’ women with Breaker for the most part. He’s my best friend in the world and I would only be comfortable doin’ somethin’ like that with him. All I want is a night to get off and then I’m on to the next. I found I liked a variety in my pussy. The more women we had, the happier I was. I even went out on my own to find a woman for long enough to get off. Not a single woman made it in my bed unless we were already at the clubhouse. I was content to fuck wherever we were; a bathroom, backroom, outside, or wherever else we were.

“Until you. The night I was with you has been burned in my brain. Breaker will tell you I haven’t been with a woman with him in the last three months. He wanted us to share you, not knowin’ we had already been together. Then, I found out you were pregnant. All the memories of what happened when I was with that skank came back and hit me full force. I hit a low point after her. I was drinkin’ constantly and even got in a bad accident because I was fucked and rode drunk. They put me on painkillers, and I let myself get addicted to them. That’s why no one will give me anythin’ for the pain when I got grazed with the bullet. The only thing I can say is I’m sorry for takin’ my shit out on you. I’m tryin’ to do better,” Crave tells me, finally looking at me with emotions filling his face.

While he was talking to me, Crave’s voice kind of went monotone. As if he were somewhere else while sharing his story with me. I can’t say I blame him for it. He’s had something extremely painful happen to him. If I were that woman, I can’t imagine doing that to a man. Especially one like Crave. He does have his good moments and is very protective. There must have been something in his gut telling him this woman was no good for him. Even if he believed he loved her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. That would turn me off the opposite sex for a long time too.

“I’m so sorry that happened to you. I will honestly tell you this baby is yours. You can have a paternity test done if you want and I’m not going to complain about it. With my gram here, I haven’t been out in a long time. Other than working when I have a job, I hate to leave her alone for any length of time just to go out and have a few drinks or meet someone in a bar. That’s not my style at all,” I tell him sincerely as Breaker walks back in the living room.

“You good in here?” he asks, his voice quiet so he doesn’t disturb gram.

“We’re good. Just filled Trin in on my truth. She knows what happened with the skank,” Crave tells him as he wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me to his side. “It needed to be said and I couldn’t wait until we were settled in the clubhouse and shit. What did Blood say?”

“He’s gettin’ the shit needed and will make sure it’s set up before we head over tomorrow. What are we gonna do for now?”

“I’m going to head upstairs to pack my things, so I only have to worry about grams tomorrow. It’s been a long day even with a nap. You guys can do whatever you need to while I go take care of packing my things. I’ll have to figure out what to do with this food and stuff too. I don’t want it to go bad,” I answer them, standing up and heading upstairs leaving them in the living room to talk or whatever else they need to do.

Entering my room, I head to the small closet. Pulling out two bags, I need at least two bags because I plan on working even if I’m at the clubhouse staying. One bag will be just for my work things while the other bag will be for pajamas and regular clothes when I’m just hanging out at the clubhouse or whatever. Heading for my dresser once the bags are sitting on my bed, I begin to pull out clothes. I’ve got a nice stack when Breaker and Crave walk in and sit down on the side of my bed. They don’t say anything as I walk between the dresser and the bed making piles of clothes.

When I start pulling out the black dresses I’ll need to have for work, Crave goes to say something. Holding up my hand, I cut him off and let him know I’m going to work whether he likes it or not. I’m still going to need money for the baby and things for my gram. I’d also like to put some money up as a nest egg. There is no way in hell I’m going to depend on the men sitting before me. At least not when I am fully capable of working. I’m not lazy and there is no way I want to be seen as that by anyone. If it means working in a strip club as a waitress before and after having the baby, that’s what I’m going to do. Letting them know how I feel, I expect them to blow a gasket. They don’t.

“I can understand that. I’ll fully support you workin’ as long as you want to. Don’t you think you should take some time off? After everythin’ happened and you bein’ shaken up, you deserve some time off,” Breaker says, his voice laced with traces of concern.

“No. I don’t want to take time off. I’d rather remain busy than have time to sit around with my thumb up my ass. Even gram needing help doesn’t take up that much time. So, I’m going to work, and I’d appreciate your support on this. You know, since you claimed me and all,” I state, my hands on my hips as I look between the two men.

“I’m not gonna say a word about you workin’. Other than if the doctor says you’re not to work, then I don’t want an argument from you. You’ll do what the doctor says if we have to tie you to the bed we’ll be sharin’. Is that understood?” Crave questions me, his voice slightly hard because he knows how stubborn I can be.

“I won’t do anything to put the baby in jeopardy. If the doctor says no working, I won’t work. Until that happens, I’ll work and try to earn as much money as I can. You two cavemen need to reign your shit in and let me work.”

Grudgingly, both men concede. They sit on the bed and keep my company while I finish packing what I’ll need for a few weeks or so. The last thing I pack is the toiletries I won’t need just yet. My shampoo, conditioner, brush, and a few other things I’ll need in the morning when I get ready for the day. After packing, Breaker walks through the house to make sure everything is locked up tight and all the lights and shit are off. The three of us share a bed with a man on each side of me. It’s both comforting and makes me overheat at the same time. Who knew these two men could put off so much body heat? Still, it makes sleep claim me quicker than I thought would happen.