Willow by Erin Osborne
Chapter Twenty-Three
Trinity ‘Willow’ Walsh
TODAY IS THE day and I’m not ready. Not by a long shot. The club has taken care of everything for my grams funeral and the gathering here at the clubhouse afterwards. I’m so grateful they took care of this for me. Tonya has been the ringleader of doing everything and has only come to me when she needs to know something about what’s needed or what my gram would have wanted. Other than my gram already having her spot at the cemetery and headstone taken care of, everything else needed to be handled. Tonya and the rest of the ol’ ladies did it all. Not a single detail was left out.
While the guys are out getting breakfast, I get in the shower. They’re going to bitch because I didn’t wait for one of them. Crave and Breaker are becoming overbearing and completely insane when it comes to me doing much of anything. Especially taking a shower when neither one of them are in the bathroom with me. They don’t have to be in the shower with me, but they do have to be in the bathroom. I understand their concern because I have passed out twice now. If I were in the shower when it happened, the baby and I could seriously be hurt. However, I don’t have the time to wait on them today. If I do, I’m not going to get out of bed to get ready to head to the funeral. I’ll bury my head under the covers and lock the guys out of the room. Not as if I really believe it would keep them out though.
Stripping my clothes off after turning on the water so it heats up, I poke my head out to make sure Crave and Breaker are still in the kitchen. There isn’t a doubt in my mind they’ll be back before I’m done washing, but that’s okay. I’ll deal with them getting mad after I’m done and getting dressed. Washing my hair, I rinse it out and then put the conditioner in. Leaving the conditioner in, I wash my body and shave everything I can reach. Breaker enters the bathroom as I’m shaving my legs and leans against the counter across from the shower with his arms folded over his chest. He’s staring at me with angry eyes and a frown on his face.
“Trin, we’ve talked about this before. No showers unless one of us are in here with you.”
“I know. It was either get up and shower now or bury myself under the covers after locking you two out of the bedroom. Today is hard as hell and I’m not ready for it. I’m not ready to say my final goodbye to my gram. I’m sorry,” I tell him, turning my back in the water so I can rinse the conditioner from my hair.
“I know baby girl. We’ll get through today and remember gram every single day for the rest of our lives. We’ll tell our boy and any other kids we have about her and her crazy life. About how she loved everyone around her with her entire heart and didn’t judge anyone who came into her life. We’ve got your breakfast out in the room so as soon as your out of the shower we’ll get you fed before leavin’,” he tells me, making me slightly smile.
Shutting the water off, I open the frosted door as Breaker hands me over a towel. I use it to wrap around my hair after squeezing the excess water out. With my hair up in the towel, Breaker hands me a second one but doesn’t let go this time. He runs the towel over my body, making sure to pay special attention to my chest and pussy. Kneeling down in front of me, he presses a kiss against my stomach while drying off my legs. As soon as I’m dry to his satisfaction, Breaker wraps the towel around my body and leads me from the bathroom. Crave is sitting on the bed waiting for us with a scowl on his face.
“You’re lucky we love you and know how hard today is goin’ to be for you,” he says, shocking the shit out of me.
“You love me?” I question, looking between the two men.
“Of course we do,” Breaker says, a large smile on his face making his eyes sparkle. “You’re hard as fuck to love and independent as hell. Never wantin’ us to get too close to you. What you don’t know is we’re gonna break down every single defense you have and make you love us. You don’t have to say the words right now, we know how you feel. You’re fallin’ in love with us and don’t want to admit it to yourself. So, for now, we’ll love you and when you’re ready, you’ll tell us you love us too.”
“I don’t have to wait. I love you both. You’re slowly proving to me how much you’re willing to put up with just to stay by my side. You have given me more than I’ve ever had in my entire life; a family and friends who aren’t going to walk away because things are too hard for them to deal with. Thank you will never be enough for what you give me on a daily basis,” I tell them honestly as Crave pulls me down on the bed next to him.
“Why don’t you eat before gettin’ dressed? Then we’ll head out. Most everyone is ready to go when you are. I’m gonna hop in the shower before Crave does. We’ll let you rest while we’re gettin’ ready,” Breaker says, bending down to kiss me deeply before disappearing into the bathroom.
Crave hands me a glass of orange juice and a plate with eggs, toast, and sausage. My stomach rumbles in anticipation of the food. While I know I have to eat and force myself to eat more than a few bites, this morning I’m hungrier than I’ve been in weeks. Since my gram started going downhill faster if I’m being honest. Setting my juice down on the nightstand with a smile on my face, I eat every morsel on the plate without taking a break or slowing down to breathe. Crave watches me like a hawk and smiles when he takes the plate from my hand and sets it aside.
“Feel better?” he questions as I drink some of my juice.
“Yeah. Now, I have to get dressed,” I tell him as Breaker walks out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist.
My mouth is now watering for an entirely different reason. I want to lick the droplets of water slowly sliding down his body and disappearing under the towel. It wouldn’t take much to get rid of the towel so he’s naked before me. Crave watches me as I don’t let my eyes stray from Breaker’s body.
“Baby girl, we don’t have time for all that. I’m gettin’ in the shower, and you need to behave yourself,” Crave says, trying to keep the laughter from his voice.
“I know. But you’re both so damn sexy and my hormones are in overdrive,” I state. “What do you expect me to do?”
“Get dressed baby. I’ll be out in time for you to finish gettin’ ready,” Crave says, kissing me before heading for the bathroom.
Getting up, I head for the closet where my dress is hanging up. Tonya grabbed it from the house when she got my gram’s things. Putting on my bra and panties, I slide the short black dress over my body and smooth it down. It clings to the belly I seem to have developed overnight. Instead of a baby bump, I know have a huge stomach to the point I can’t even see my feet. Grabbing my brush from the top of the dresser, I remove the towel from my head and begin brushing out the long strands before Breaker takes the brush from me. He gently brushes out my hair before handing my brush back. This is just one of the ways the guys take care of me and it’s the little things I’ve never had in my life.
“Thank you,” I tell him, my voice a whisper as tears threaten to spill over my lashes.
“You’re welcome baby girl,” he says, kissing the side of my neck after sliding my hair out of the way.
I’m riding in a limo with Paislie, Sydney, Emersyn, and Blayke. Tonya is riding on the back of Blood’s bike. Everyone is in formation as they ride in front of us and behind the hearst carrying my grandma’s coffin. Most guys are riding behind me as another chapter of the club came here for today along with three support clubs. The support clubs didn’t send all of their members, but enough to make their presence known. I cried when I saw all the men wearing nice jeans and leather filling the clubhouse parking lot. That was after crying when I saw Crave and Breaker. They’re both wearing dark dress pants with dark grey button-down shirts. Their sleeves are rolled up past their elbows and they have their cuts on over the shirt. I didn’t ask them to do this; this was their decision, and I couldn’t love them more for it.
Pulling up to the cemetery where my gram will be buried next to her husband, I take a few deep breaths. Paislie is holding my hand with silent tears rolling down her face. I’m trying so hard not to cry right now. There’s the service and then the celebration at the clubhouse to get through. If I breakdown now, there’s a really good chance I won’t be able to stop until I exhaust myself and fall asleep. That’s been the pattern for the last week. Crave and Breaker have been by my side as much as possible. When they’ve had to go to work, Paislie and Tonya have been there with me.
The door of the limo opens as each woman’s man stands there to help his ol’ lady out. I’m the last one to exit as Breaker and Crave stand on either side of me. They lead me over to the chairs under the canopy since rain is expected. The sky is dark with more clouds rolling in. It suits my mood perfectly. There’s no sunshine breaking through the cloud coverage as the trees sway and leaves fall from the branches around us.
“We’ll be right here,” Crave says, standing behind the chair I’m now sitting in.
Nodding my head, the minister who agreed to speak today stands up and begins saying a few words about my gram. A woman he never met and has no clue how she truly was in person. I keep my gaze on the coffin where a bouquet of roses rests. There are a few sunflowers mixed in with the roses; my grams two favorite flowers.
“Baby girl, you’re up,” Breaker murmurs in my ear as I feel all eyes on me.
“Right,” I say, carefully standing up and making my way to the front of the coffin. “I want to thank you all for showing up today. It means more than you’ll ever know. My gram gave up her entire life to raise me and make sure I knew how to be a strong independent woman. She gave me all the love she had filling her and was there for every milestone in my life. There wasn’t a single time she made me feel as if I were bothering her or wanted too much from her. We spent every single day as if we were the only ones in our life. Gram was my entire world for so long, it’s hard to let other people in.
“Shortly before she passed away, my gram reminded me it’s okay to let others in no matter what fate has in store. She made sure I knew I wasn’t wrong for wanting certain things in life and told me to go after them. Now, because my gram wanted to protect me with everything in her, I have some amazing people in my life. People who have been here helping me over the last week and made sure today was perfect in my grams eye. That’s the only reason I’m not breaking down completely and losing my mind. I have to remember to not shut down and close the people who have been there for me out.
“My gram loved sharing her stories. She had some of you in hysterics with the tales of her life growing up. Stories I want to share with the little guy I’m carrying now and anyone else who needs a little pick me up some day. Gram was a wild child in her younger days. Riding on the back of motorcycles with men she didn’t know, hosting a party so loud the cops broke it up after ten minutes, and so many other things she did before becoming a mom. She always encouraged me to go after what I want in life and that my dreams are only limited by my imagination. I’m going to miss her for the rest of my days. Gram, I love you with my entire heart. Fly high and rest easy.”
Breaker and Crave are instantly at my side as sobs shake my entire body and I can’t see more than a few inches in front of my face because of the tears clouding my vision. Each man wraps his arms around me and leads me back to my chair as everyone else steps up to the coffin and places either a rose or sunflower along it. I remain in my seat, sitting on Breaker’s lap as Crave kneels down next to us. My head is buried in Breaker’s neck after Paislie placed her sunflower on the coffin and broke down. Vanish led her from the casket and sat her down a few chairs from me.
Tonya walks up to us and places her arm around me, kissing the top of my head.
“We got you,” she whispers in my ear before standing up and walking over to Blood’s side.
Finally, I stand up with the help of Crave and walk over to place my own flowers on gram’s final resting place. Resting my hand on the smooth surface for a minute, I let my tears hit the wood and roll down to the dirt and grass beneath it. The roar of bikes fill the silent air of the cemetery. Still, I don’t move from the casket. Blood and everyone are giving me some space so I can spend some time with my gram even if she doesn’t know I’m still here at her side. Crave and Breaker don’t say a word about it either. They simply stand on either side of me for as long as I need to.
“I miss her so much,” I say, my voice breaking.
“We know you do,” Breaker says. “Grams wouldn’t want you this upset knowin’ you’re pregnant. Why don’t we head back to the clubhouse, and you can lay down? I think you need to rest and get somethin’ to eat. Is that okay?”
“Yeah. I don’t want to face everyone right now,” I tell him, letting them lead me from the grave site as the men come in and begin to lower the casket before covering it with dirt.
This is not something I want to see. It makes everything so final. However, the limo is no longer here. It took the ol’ ladies back to the clubhouse. Crave and Breaker won’t put me on the back of their bikes either. Not with me being pregnant.
“Guys, how am I getting back to the clubhouse?” I ask as they stop next to their bikes.
“Got a Prospect on the way baby girl,” Breaker tells me as I keep my back toward the grave.
In minutes, the Prospect pulls up in a club SUV. Crave helps me in the passenger seat and lets me know they’ll be following me. I know they’ll make me eat when I get back to the clubhouse, but they won’t make me stay out in the common room with everyone else. Honestly, I’m exhausted and just want to be alone. Crave and Breaker don’t even have to stay with me in the room since so many other people are here for the celebration. Maybe I will head out there later on after I’ve rested.
