Her Pack by Tamara White

Chapter Forty-Two

Sneakingout of the house was easier than I thought it would be.

Everyone was up in arms about what had happened with the wolf who broke in. The council members, along with Tim, Laura, my grandparents and Vivienne had all rushed over after Eli had sent word of what had happened.

They barged in, took notes of the man who was now in his human form and then Vivienne had others come and take the body away.

But it didn't end there. No, everyone stayed gathered in the house, firing questions at each other, getting angry when no answers were offered, and then trying to plan what to do next. How to prepare with what they saw as the first sign of Luke's attack.

I've been stuck in the middle of everyone for hours. It's been annoying as hell just listening to them bicker about what to do and what not to do. Have them throw out all these wild conspiracies that just didn't make sense. I'd tried to tell them this wasn't the sign of Luke's impending attack. That he wouldn't just send one person on before his attack as a warning. He would have attacked full force so we had no warning. But everyone refused to listen to me, so I gave up.

I retreated to the back of the kitchen, sure that no one would miss me if I just up and left. Sure enough, I moved to the back door without anyone calling after me. I'd intended to just take a moment and get some fresh air, but then Vivienne appeared at my side.

She simply stood by me, then slipped something in my hand. I opened up the note and read it, surprised at what she had suggested. Yet, I was more than ready to do what she said.

Vivienne walked down the back path and melded into the woods. It took only a moment of hesitation, a moment when I let my wolf decide before I took off after her, letting the note drop down behind me.

I knew with all their planning, no one in the house would notice me missing, at least not for a while.

I've already been gone at least five minutes trying to follow Vivienne through the woods, but I've long since lost her trail. I have no clue if I'm even going the right way anymore. Her scent seems to have just disappeared.

With slow steps, I move through the woods letting my wolf and her senses guide me to wherever it is I'm supposed to be. I just hope she knows the way to the springs better than I do.

Suddenly a twig snaps behind me. I freeze, wondering if it's someone else in the woods or an animal. Doing my best to keep quiet, I inhale softly, trying to catch the scent. A soft breeze has the scent drifting past me, and I know that I've been caught.

Jake steps out of the shadows a few feet away from me, his eyes filled with anger. "And just where do you think you're sneaking off to at this time of night?"

He takes quick steps towards me until his presence is looming down over me. I can tell from the way his body is vibrating he's beyond pissed. "Do you have any idea how stupid this is, Dani? How dangerous? What if that wolf earlier was just a scout and Luke had infiltrated the woods? What would we have done if they had of killed you? Or worse, taken you to be Luke's pup bearing slave? Hmm? Did you even think, Dani? My god, it is so hard to be your Enforcer!"

He reaches up and grips his hair, looking like a scream is building. I let him speak, knowing he obviously needs to get this off his chest.

Jake sighs, and finally lets go of his hair to cross his arms across his chest. "Have you really not learned anything after all this time? Do you honestly not understand just how dangerous it is to go off by yourself? Why wouldn't you ask Rick or I to come with you if you needed a break? Or at least tell one your mates you had planned to go traipsing through the woods alone? I just... I wish you would think about what it does to all of us when you simply disappear. It takes years off our lives, Dani."

I sigh, frustrated at being caught but also a little annoyed. I get it, they think I need protecting. But if they would have just let me do this on my own, then there would be no need for this secrecy in the first place. But they all made it pretty clear what they thought about the cleansing pools.

"Look, Jake, I get it, I really do. But unfortunately I didn't have all the time in the world for the guys to argue about me doing this, okay? So either zip it, and come with me, or go back and tell them I ran away. Your choice."

I hate being such a bitch towards him, but the moment I let my wolf choose this journey, it was like this sense of urgency consumed me. Like this was the moment I had been waiting for all along. A moment to finally be cleansed and free of the weight on my shoulders.

"Where exactly do you need to be? Hmmm?"

"I'm going to meet Vivienne. She's going to attempt another cleansing. Only this time, it will work." It has to, I add as an afterthought. I feel like we've run out of time now.

He stares at me for a moment, like he can't tell if I'm telling the truth or not. Then, he starts laughing. When he finally sobers, I'm glaring at him. What on earth about this is so funny?

He holds out a hand for me to take. "Come on, Dani, let's get you back to the house and in bed. You should at least get some rest before the preparations start in the morning."

"No Jake, I need to do this." I shake my head and take a step away from him. I move around him to continue walking through the trees. If he wants to take me back, he's gonna have to drag me back kicking and screaming.

Jake suddenly grips hold of my arm, shaking me softly. "Wait, you're serious? Are you fucking insane, Dani? I swear to god you better tell me this is nothing more than a sick twisted joke otherwise I'm going to have to lock you up for even thinking of such a stupid and reckless thing, especially without telling anyone. My god, what are you thinking?!"

I shake his hold off me, growling lowly. "I know how fucking stupid it is, Jake, but I don't have any other choice. I'm meant to lead the packs, to show them that I can be anything and everything they need of me but I'm so far from fucking competent that I'm trying to do the one thing I can to ensure they are going to be in capable hands." I take in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Jake, I am supposed to lead a whole damn species, and I have no clue how to do it! Not to mention, that if I actually go through with the coronation and the crown is placed on my head before dealing with all my shit, then there is a very real chance I will die. I need to do the one thing I can control. I need to go and be cleansed so at least then when the time does come, I won't fucking die because I'm so god damn unworthy."

Tears start to fall with the pressure of everything I still have to overcome. And at the end of the day, I don't even know if it will be worth it. If the packs will even accept me. Or if it will all be for nothing.

Jake suddenly encases me in his arms, letting me cry out my frustrations on his chest. When I'm all cried out, I push away from him and wipe away my tears. I can't keep breaking down. I need to be strong, not just for myself, but for everyone who's relying on me.

"I need to go, Jake. Are you coming with me? Or are you going to run back to my mates and tell them where I am?"

I've lost Vivienne's trail by now, so it's going to take me a while to catch up to her. Hopefully she comes back to find me after she's finished setting up the cleansing pool.

"Fine, I'm coming with you," he says with a defeated sigh. “But when this shit goes sideways, don't think I won't say I told you so. I'll sing it from the rooftops and hold it over you for years to come. Every time you try to do something stupid like this, I will bring up this moment."

I roll my eyes at him. "Really? You'd rub it in even if you knew I suffered greatly? Or if I nearly died? Even I don't think you're that cruel."

"Oh, but I am. I'm trying to make you see reason. And you're refusing. As your friend, it's my right to point out how stupid you're being, and then rub it in when your stupid plan fails. Maybe then you'll actually listen to me."

I bite my tongue so as to not snap at him. He means well, I know he does. But god if I don't want to yell and scream at him. Even if I know deep down he's right. I’m being stupid and reckless by not telling anyone where I've snuck off to, but they would fight me on this. I know it. Which is why I have to do this without them.

"So..." I finally say, glancing around the woods. "I don't suppose you remember the way to the cleansing pools?"

Jake's gaze snaps to mine, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "Really? You don't know where you're going?"

"I did. I was following Vivienne, but you distracted me. Now I have no clue what direction she went in."

He sighs and takes hold of my hand, pulling me along after him. "Come on then, let's go do this before anyone notices we're missing."

We weave through the woods, the sound of crickets the loudest sound there is to hear. Everyone is probably doing the responsible thing by staying locked away in their homes. The further we get away from Eli’s house, the faster my heart beats in anticipation.

Jake keeps glancing over at me with worried eyes. After the seventh time, I grumble over at him. "What is it? What are you thinking about so hard that it’s giving you that constipated look?"

He purses his lips, like he doesn't want to speak, then finally he relents with a groan. "Okay, fine, I have to ask. Before you disappeared, why did you stop fighting to be heard? I was watching you before you snuck out the back. You just seemed subdued. Why not fight to have your say?"

I know what he means. Why didn't I put them in place? Use my will to force them to stop arguing, or to actually see reason. But what would that have accomplished? They were so divided that anything I would have said or done would have just sparked more arguing. Everyone believed that the wolf had something to do with Luke, but it just didn't make sense. Why would Luke send one lonely wolf? He has to know by now I've got my mates around me all the time. Not to mention Jake, Rick and the various other members of whatever pack I'm living with. So why would he do such a thing?

"I didn't bother arguing because no matter what I would have said, things wouldn't have calmed down. Everyone is so convinced that the wolf has something to do with Luke, and me, well, I'm not so sure. I think it was simply a fluke."

He nods slowly, like he understands my thought process. "Okay, well I guess I can understand that.” He pauses, studying me a moment. “That’s not all is it? There's something else going on with you. Has been since after Jonnie walked out. Care to tell me what it is?”

"Nothing," I reply a little too quickly. I clear my throat and offer him a reassuring smile. "Nothing's going on. Just stressed about everything."

"Dani, I swear I will drag you right back to the house. I'm trying to be your friend but you're making it extremely hard. If you really don't want to say anything, then just say so. But don't lie and say it's nothing. Everyone else may be too blinded by the attack to see you, but my gut is telling me something is seriously wrong. As is the look in your eyes."

We walk together in silence and I agonize over whether I should tell him the truth or not. If I do, will he come to the same conclusions I have? Hell, I'm not even sure I've reached a conclusion yet, but I know I'm definitely not sure I can trust Jonnie completely. I mean, it's not like I expect him to die for me and I wouldn't ever dream of asking him to, but it feels strange that he would say he would. He must have known I would know the truth.

Maybe I need to tell someone? To talk about it aloud to see if it makes more sense being voiced to another and whether that person makes the same logical leaps I have.

Maybe Jake can help me make sense of it. "Okay, but we can't tell the others. Alright?"

"Fine, it'll be our little secret,” he says with a roll of his eyes.

“I’m serious, Jake. If I tell you, you need to promise this stays between us.”

He frowns but nods in understanding. He must have seen the worry in my eyes.

I sigh, kicking the dirt as we walk. May as well just rip off the band-aid. "When Jonnie said, ‘is that enough proof I would die for you’ he was lying."

I step over a tree root, sniffing the air to see if we're getting closer. Jake is silent and stays that way for a few moments. I let him have the time to do what I did. To think of all the possible reason why Jonnie would say it, but not mean it.

No doubt he’s realizing that maybe now Aiden wasn’t lying, and Jonnie really could be the traitor. I had hoped that by talking with them all it would clear the air, but now there are more questions than ever.

"And he didn't stick around to say he wasn't working with Luke." Jake finally says on a sigh, squeezing my hand softly. "I'm sorry, Dani."

"Why? It doesn't necessarily mean he's a traitor. Maybe he just doesn't want to die. Even for me. That’s not so bad, is it?"

"Well, no. But he's your mate. The connection you share should inspire such feelings of protectiveness. That he doesn't have them, or is lying about them, is a little concerning."

I don't get a chance to respond because Vivienne appears from the woods like a ghost. How on earth did she sneak up on us?

"What are you doing here?" Her gaze is fixed on Jake. It swings to me with curiosity. "Why did you bring him along? This isn’t an event you can just invite everyone to. That’s probably why it didn’t work as well last time.”

“I didn’t invite him,” I tell her, annoyed she would think I would after her note explicitly said to come alone. "He found me stumbling around the woods after I lost track of you. He's tagging along so I'm protected."

She sighs, her annoyance clear but she doesn't turn him away. "Very well then. You better hurry so we can get this over with as quickly as possible so your mates don't notice you're missing.” She glances around the woods with worry. “Ideally I’d like to do this without my son ever finding out what we’ve done.”

Jake snorts under his breath. "He'll know. And he'll be pissed. They all will."

Vivienne glares at him, like she wishes nothing more than to throttle him where he stands. I figure I better speak up before this gets into a war of words.

"If we're going to do this, I think I need to try the original spring again."

Both Vivienne and Jake turn to stare at me in shock. Neither of them seems to know what to say.

"I thought you wanted to work your way up to it," Vivienne finally says warily. "I think it's best if we use one of the small springs."

"No, it has to be the original spring." I purse my lips, trying to explain the feeling I have. "I don't know quite how to explain it, but I feel like it has to be the original spring. My gut is telling me it won't work if it's not the original spring."

It’s not my gut saying that it’s my wolf. Well not in words of course, because that would be pretty crazy, but in images and feelings. It has to be the original spring. I don’t know how she knows, but she’s certain that the original spring is our only choice.

"Alright then, follow me."

Vivienne turns and guides us a few feet away to a section of shrubs and guides us to a part of the cavern that looks like tree but isn’t.

She slips in the cavern first, expecting us to follow. Jake heaves a sigh, then gestures for me to follow after her. I hesitate for a moment before reminding myself why I'm doing this.

To be the best Queen I can for my people.