Holding Her Heart by Melissa Tereze
10
Aster grinnedas she moved through the swathes of people on the dance floor. A week on from telling Grace everything, she felt less inclined to seek Eden out at any given opportunity. She’d also made a promise to herself that Eden was low on her list of priorities. Not in terms of friendship, but she was kicking all thoughts of her in any other way from her mind. Eden was her boss only; it should remain that way.
And the benefit of coming to the club midweek was that Eden wouldn’t be here. There wasn’t a single world in which she would drink on a school night, so Aster had freedom over the entire bar tonight. Not that Eden would care if she was here. But Aster couldn’t focus when her boss was around. It felt wrong to flirt with other women when the one woman she’d once wanted was in the same room as her.
She moved towards the bar, checking the clock on the back wall. Esme, the bartender and her date for the night, was about to finish her shift. They’d spoken over the weekend, made plans for during the unexpected Wednesday team meet up, and now here she was. Ready to hopefully spark something between them.
Because she needed something to spark with someone soon. The longer she was hung up on Eden, the worse it would surely be. And in the two and a half months that she’d known Eden Kline, Aster had come to realise that she was only torturing herself. Eden, as beautiful as she may be, was entirely oblivious.
“Hey,” Esme said, removing her badge from her shirt. “Let me change quickly and then I’ll be back.”
“Sure. I’ll be around and about.”
Esme smiled, nodding as she brushed past Aster. Esme seemed nice whenever they spoke on the phone, and she didn’t come across as someone who would mess Aster around. That was just what she needed. Fun and easy.
Aster turned, watching Esme walk away, only for her eyes to land on her best friend. Grace hadn’t known if she could make it tonight, something about meeting with Mia’s brother, but Aster was certainly happy to see her.
“Aster Bennett! Have I just caught you checking out one of the ladies?”
Aster grinned. “You have. And you’ll be pleased to know that she’s my date tonight.”
Grace wrapped her arms around Aster, then pulled back and studied her eyes. “Really? You’re serious?”
“Don’t sound so surprised. I’m not that bad at this, am I?”
Grace gave her a knowing look. “You know that’s not what I’m talking about. But you know…with what we discussed when you came to mine?”
“That is all in the past,” Aster said quietly. “For my own mental health and because it was a ridiculous thought to begin with.”
“So, you’re not into her anymore?” Grace arched a brow, one hand on her hip. “Don’t lie to me. I want the truth.”
“I wouldn’t say I’m not into Eden, but I’m getting there. It’s only been a week since I spoke to you, but the next morning I felt better for it. When I got into work, I felt different.”
“Different how?”
Aster shrugged. “I don’t know exactly. But I do realise that I’m wasting my time. And you were right, I don’t want to get hurt. And especially not by Eden of all people.”
“Then I wish you well with tonight’s endeavour.” Grace winked, squeezing Aster’s shoulder. “You know I want the best for you. I’m glad you’ve realised that it’s not Eden.”
“No, I know.” Aster lowered her eyes as Grace turned and walked through the crowd of people milling about. In her heart, she would drop everything and anyone for Eden, but it simply wasn’t to be. And she couldn’t hold onto something that was unobtainable. It wasn’t realistic.
“Hey, mate.” Dom nudged Aster’s shoulder, grinning. “See anything you like tonight?”
“I…have a date.”
Dom’s eyebrows rose with surprise, and then she swigged her drink. “So, everything you told Blair is over and done with?”
Aster scoffed, scanning the room for Blair. She could throttle her. “She told you?”
“Of course she did. She’s my fiancée.”
That made sense. If the shoe were on the other foot, Aster would one hundred percent expect her partner to be honest. So long as Dom didn’t let it slip, everything would be okay. “You won’t say anything, will you?”
“No, mate. That’s not my style. Your secret’s safe with me.”
“T-thanks.” Aster’s stomach swirled with anxiety. She’d never been in this position before and now that Dom knew, she felt like the ultimate fool. The more people who knew about her feelings for Eden, the more likely it was that the team would find out. And while Aster could deal with being the butt of their jokes, she would never want Eden to be subjected to that. “I’ll bet you two had a good laugh at my expense, didn’t you?”
“Quite the opposite actually. Blair felt sorry for you when you told her. But she was also concerned about Eden, which I’m sure you can understand.”
Aster nodded.
“I mean, we could have both told you to go for it, but I’ve never gotten the impression that Eden is gay, mate. With Blair it was kinda obvious, but Eden is the total opposite.”
“I know she’s not gay. I was letting my thoughts get the better of me. But that’s over now. I have a date tonight, and I’m happy. Eden is a good friend who I don’t want to lose.”
“Good for you.” Dom smiled. “I hope it all works out for you. I’d better go and find Blair before she threatens to divorce me again.”
“You’re not even married yet.”
“Oh, she’s still threatened to divorce me before the day comes.” Dom laughed, shaking her head. “Women, eh?”
“Y-yeah.”
* * *
Eden rushed through the doorway of the club, lowering her umbrella as the rain pelted the pavement. Tonight wasn’t supposed to be spent at a bar. She should have been home with a cuppa and the worst TV imaginable, but Blair had twisted her arm earlier when she explained that tonight was more of a meeting between the team and their new manager than a regular night out.
So, here she was, standing in the doorway to a club in the pissing down rain. Blair owed her one. And she would make sure her best friend knew that once she was inside.
Eden shoved her umbrella into the stand near the door, shaking the rain from her knee length coat. She spied Blair at the bar, rushing to catch her before she placed her order. “Hey! I’ll have a large white wine since you’ve dragged me out in this weather.”
“Nice to see you too, bestie.” Blair grinned that stupid grin she always wore when she got her own way. “One large white wine, coming up.”
“And I want another after it,” Eden said, glancing around the dancefloor. Truth be told, she was looking for one person in particular. “Everyone here?”
“Yep. The whole team. Which is surprising since half of them said they couldn’t be arsed showing up.”
“You said they have a new manager?”
Blair nodded in the direction of a tall woman with cropped hair. She looked nice enough. “That’s her. Zoe. Mark had other commitments, so he handed the team off to her.”
“Well, I’m sure Zoe will be welcomed with open arms.”
“Mmhmm. I’m sure she will.” Blair rolled her eyes. “She’s gorgeous. I’m sure they’ll all want their arms around her.”
“Maybe they will.” Eden shrugged.
“No, that’s not what you’re supposed to say. Because what if Dom falls for her? What if she falls for Dom? She’s the star striker, and I cannot for one second think about the possibility of ‘extra practice’ and all that shit.”
Eden pressed a hand to Blair’s shoulder. “You’re not serious…”
“Deadly.”
“Blair, Dom is so in love with you that it’s actually sickening at times. I mean, how could you even think she’d do something like that to you?”
“I don’t mean that it would be intentional,” Blair said, turning to face Eden with a large glass of wine. “But you never know. I’m way past my prime. Dom could fall for anyone at any time.”
And Eden knew that was the truth about most people. But not Dom. She was thinking about her own recent experiences. “Do you think that’s possible? For someone to fall for anyone when they least expect it?”
“I think it’s perfectly possible.” Blair guided Eden towards a table, sitting down with her own glass of wine. Eden sat beside her, confused by Blair’s sudden worries. “I mean, you could fall in love with the woman behind the bar. Anything is possible.”
“Well, I think that’s unlikely. I’m not attracted to the woman behind the bar.”
“But it could happen. You never know.”
“I wonder if people actually do that.” Eden knew she should have kept that thought to herself. Aster wasn’t here tonight; there was no use thinking about her. “No, I don’t suppose they do.”
“Do what?”
“Fall for someone they never thought they’d fall for.”
Blair eyed Eden suspiciously. “Anything is possible. And that’s that.”
Eden held up a hand. “Okay. I’m only saying.”
Silence settled between them, Blair focusing on her glass as the team sat around with Zoe. Eden couldn’t comprehend what Blair had just said. Dom would never do anything to hurt her. And in Eden’s opinion, Blair was ten times what Zoe was. “You good?” She settled a hand on top of Blair’s. “You’re not thinking she would do something like that, are you?”
“No.” Blair smiled weakly. “But they don’t usually have new people come into the fold. And Zoe is going to take a shine to Dom; she’s the best player.”
“And for all we know, Zoe is in a relationship already. Married with kids. Maybe not even gay.”
Blair snorted. “She’s gay.”
How did Blair know that? She was about to ask her best friend when she saw Aster on the dance floor. Her pulse quickened. Aster looked exceptional tonight. Wow. I need to find a hobby. Eden cleared her throat, shaking her head slightly as she focused on her glass of wine. “Well, I know Dom would never do anything to hurt you. And you’re a fool if you think otherwise.”
“I know she wouldn’t. I’m being stupid.” Blair straightened, crossing her legs as she turned her attention to Eden. “So, how’s work?”
“Okay, I guess. But Aster has been a little quieter than usual.”
“Oh?”
“And those Saturday nights we’ve been spending together came to an abrupt end.” Eden frowned. Why had that happened? “But I guess you were right. As usual. I’m her boss and that’s that.”
“Well, I know she’s here tonight on a date. So maybe that has something to do with the Saturday cancellations.”
Those words cut deep through Eden. It hadn’t occurred to her that Aster would one day be unavailable. But it made total sense. Aster was a dream. God, she’d certainly been Eden’s dream. “O-oh. Well, that’s nice.”
“Are you okay?” Blair narrowed her eyes. “You seem a bit shocked by that.”
“Shocked? No. Aster is lovely; she deserves to find a partner. I hope it all goes well for her.” Eden swallowed down the emotion in her throat, her stomach lurching at knowing she couldn’t even entertain the idea of them together any longer. But it didn’t matter. Aster wasn’t looking in her direction…and she never had been. “I’m going to use the bathroom. Can I get you anything from the bar on the way back?”
“Are you working tomorrow?” Blair asked.
She was supposed to be, but something told Eden she wouldn’t leave her bed tomorrow. “No. I have the day off.”
“Then I believe some midweek shots are appropriate.”
* * *
The team meeting had ended no sooner than it started, but that made life easier for Eden. It meant she could chat with everyone, avoiding the space Aster was sharing with her date. Upon closer inspection, Eden had discovered that it was the bartender who worked here that was accompanying Aster this evening. That only made this all worse. Because not only did Eden feel dreadful seeing them together, it meant she wasn’t on an even footing. This was Aster’s date’s territory, not Eden’s.
But she’d taken her mind off it by dancing with the team and Blair. This wasn’t her first outing here, but it could be her last. If Aster fell for the woman she currently had her arms around, Eden wouldn’t step foot inside this bar again. She couldn’t face seeing it all play out in front of her.
“Hey, Eden.” Fi approached her, a fresh bottle of beer in her hand. “How’s your night going?”
“Okay. I was catching my breath before I went back into the pack.” Eden threw her thumb over her shoulder, directing Fi towards the team. “How’s the new manager?”
“She’s…nice. I don’t think she’s going to take any shit from us.”
Eden laughed. “She’s going to have her hands full with you lot. Does she know what she’s getting herself into?”
Fi smirked, edging a little closer to Eden. “Maybe. But she’s not much of a worry for me right now.”
Wow. Fi had intense eyes. And yes, Eden knew all about the player she was, but they seemed to pull you in unexpectedly. “N-no?”
“Wanna dance?” Fi held out her hand, grinning when Eden took it.
“Sure. Everyone else seems preoccupied, so why not?”
“Don’t worry, I’ll keep you busy.” Fi led Eden onto the dance floor and away from the team. They moved towards a less chaotic area, Fi’s hand instantly falling to Eden’s waist. “You seem to be around a lot lately.”
Eden smiled, moving to the beat of the music. “Blair keeps dragging me along. I should say no, but she’s very hard to turn down.”
“Oh, I know.” Fi grinned, stepping closer.
As the music changed, Rita Ora’s Only Want You now playing, Fi placed her beer on a nearby table, her other hand now settling on Eden’s waist. It didn’t mean anything. She was simply dancing with one of the players…the same way she had since the meeting finished.
She caught Aster’s eye as Fi pulled their bodies flush, a hint of sadness sitting within them. She offered Aster the slightest of smiles, unsure if that was okay to do now that she had a woman in her life, and lowered her gaze. God, it was painful seeing Aster with someone else. Much more painful than Eden had anticipated.
“You know,” Fi paused, her lips moving closer to Eden’s ear, “there’s a lot of women in here who have their eye on you.”
Eden found Aster staring at her again, her eyes teary. Was she…upset?
When Eden considered moving towards Aster, her heart crumbled in her chest as Aster’s date turned her head and kissed her.
Oh, no. That pain in Eden’s chest was intense. It left her breathless. Unable to take her eyes off what was playing out in front of her, Eden felt a swell of emotion in the pit of her stomach.
“Did you hear what I said?” Fi’s lips brushed Eden’s ear, but it did nothing for her whatsoever.
“I’m flattered, but I’m not interested.” Her voice sounded like it didn’t belong, as though Eden was underwater.
Fi pulled back. “No?”
“No. I’m not looking for—”
Eden was suddenly grabbed from behind, Blair now coming face-to-face with Fi. “Don’t even fucking try it,” Blair spat. “She’s not interested. And even if she was, you would be the last person on her list.”
“Back up, honey.” Fi smirked, throwing a wink in Eden’s direction. “Eden is a big girl. She seemed happy enough with my hands all over her.”
Eden frowned. Was this a game to Fi? God, she could barely keep up when she was around the team. Honestly, it was all too much drama for Eden.
Blair grabbed Eden’s wrist, pulling her through the crowd. “Outside, now!”
Eden almost fell out the door as Blair forced her through it, a look of complete disgust on her features when Eden turned around. “What the hell is your problem?”
Blair pointed towards her own chest. “My problem? Are you fucking serious?”
“That was rude. And obnoxious. I don’t know what’s going on with you tonight, but I think you need to go home.”
“And you seriously need to get a grip of your life. I mean, Fi? Are you for real?”
Eden didn’t understand this anger from Blair. Yes, Blair had made a mistake and slept with Fi way back, but Eden wasn’t about to fall into the same trap. “I was dancing with her. I’m not sure what the issue is.”
“That’s not cool you know, Eden.” Blair gave her a knowing look. “I know you’re here with all of us, but you’ve been invited. You’re a guest. You have no right to play with her feelings like that. It’s not your place to flirt with the lesbians. Not if it doesn’t mean a thing to you.”
“What are you talking about?” Eden swayed. She knew she shouldn’t have had that last shot. “I’m not playing with anyone’s feelings.”
“Do you know?” Blair asked. “Do you know and you’re trying to cause a reaction?”
Did Eden know what? This was all…confusing. “I don’t know where you’re going with this, but you’ve lost me.”
“You need to back off. Maybe stop coming here with me. I shouldn’t have invited you tonight.”
That hurt. It really hurt.
“You know what, forget it. Forget all of this.” Eden needed her belongings and then she would be on her way home. “You’ve changed since you met Dom. And you know I love you both, but I don’t like this. You’re not you anymore.”
“I think you need to take a look at yourself, Ede’s. You’re the one throwing yourself at people in a gay bar. I told you not to push it, and I told you she was into you. But you wouldn’t listen.”
“What? You’ve never once told me Fi was into me. And correct me if I’m wrong, but she’s into everyone.”
“I…I’m not talking about Fi.” Blair cast her eyes on the floor.
“Okay, then I’m even more lost than I was before.”
Blair threw her hands up. “It’s Aster, okay? She’s trying so hard to not be into you, and God love her, it’s breaking my heart.”
Eden’s world stopped momentarily. They’d been here before with this conversation, but it had never been so intense. So…confrontational. “You keep saying this, but if you opened your fucking eyes, you’d see that Aster has a date.”
“And if you opened your fucking eyes, you’d see that she is trying to protect herself and let you go.”
No. This was complete rubbish. “No. That’s not right.”
“Except it is. She told me a few weeks ago.” Blair swallowed hard. “I know I should have told you, but I thought it would all fizzle out.”
“Well, it clearly has.” Eden scoffed. “She’s on a date with someone.”
Blair’s right eye twitched as she focused on Eden. “You seem bothered by that.”
“I’m not. Why would I be?”
“You’re not being honest with me. And if you can't do that with your best friend…then there’s no hope for any of this.” Blair walked away, turning back momentarily. “You need to decide what you want. If it’s Aster, you need to move your arse and stop denying how you feel. I’ve asked you on multiple occasions, but you keep shooting me down. I know you though, and I think you forget that.”
“Blair.”
“I don’t want to know anymore.” Blair held up both hands. “But if you continue with this, you’re going to break her heart and lose the one thing you want all at once. And to think I was worried about her hurting you. I’ve been trying to protect you because you’re sweet, and my closest friend, and I know that you’d feel dreadful if she got too close and you had to let her down.”
“Blair, I—”
“Go home, sweetie. This place really isn’t where you should be.”