Holding Her Heart by Melissa Tereze

14

Aster pushedthe door open to Eden’s office, grinning as she balanced coffees and donuts on one arm, her phone in the other hand. While she waited in the queue at the local coffee shop, she’d browsed the internet for some holiday attire. Today on the list…bikinis. Aster couldn’t say she was a bikini kinda girl, but she was willing to try one out. She had the figure—she thought—but she always felt as though people were staring at her. And not for good reasons.

“What time do you call this? I’m glad you’re not my assistant!” Eden grinned as she peeked over her computer monitor. “I’m famished.”

“Then you should probably eat something more substantial than a donut.” Aster snorted, setting it all down on the desk. They’d become good friends since Eden turned up at Aster’s flat. Three weeks on from the sweet bunch of flowers, and she was finally coming to terms with their friendship status rather than anything else. Eden, when she wasn’t being all sexy and sultry, was a lot of fun. And it beat losing her entirely. “And before I forget, I found a bikini online I’m considering buying.”

“Why are you only considering it?”

“Um, because it might not look good on me.”

Eden beckoned Aster closer, waiting expectantly for her phone with her palm held out. “Let me see. I’ll tell you.”

Aster swallowed, handing her phone over. “Be honest. I don’t want to look a state while I’m away.”

Eden tapped her chin, adding in the occasional ‘hmm’ as she looked at it from different angles. “I think it’ll look great on you.”

“Really?” Aster deadpanned.

“I wouldn’t tell you to wear something if I didn’t think it’d look good. Don’t forget, I have to walk around with you.”

“Ah. Cramping your style am I, Miss Kline?”

Eden arched an eyebrow, smiling. “Not likely.”

Aster took her phone back, adding the item to her online basket. As she eased into her seat, kicking her feet up onto Eden’s desk, she sighed. Could she buy this bikini? Would everyone think she was out of her mind for attempting to pull off such a style? “Maybe I should order some shorts to go with it…”

“Why? You’ve got great legs.”

Aster bookmarked that response for a time when she was feeling shitty about herself. When Eden complimented her, life felt amazing. And that seemed to be happening more often than not recently. They’d spent so much time together lately that Aster had to call Eden this morning and ask her to bring the clothes she’d left at her apartment through the week. She was yet to cook for Eden, but she wasn’t pushing it. They’d eaten out a handful of times though, and it was pleasant. It’s enough. Remember that.

“Anyway, never mind planning holidays.” She held up a hand as she flipped the lid on the box of donuts. “I can’t believe we don’t have any work on this weekend.”

They didn’t usually work at the office on weekends—events happened mostly—but Eden had some things to take care of, so Aster decided to make full use of the editing suite. She would only sit at home in her pyjamas otherwise. Funnily, she was yet to do any work.

“I know. I can’t remember the last time I had an entire weekend to myself.”

“You coming out tonight?”

Eden stopped typing. “It’s Saturday. I thought the team went out on Sundays?”

“Usually. Unless the Sunday game gets cancelled, which is what’s happened. They prefer a Saturday because then nobody is hungover for work on Monday morning.”

“Ah. That sounds more like my kind of night out. I can’t abide a hangover on a Monday morning. It ruins my week.”

“So?” Aster shoved a donut into her mouth, moaning as she got a hint of the custard filling. She didn’t usually eat donuts, but it was Saturday, and she was in a good mood. “Mm. That’s divine.”

Eden watched Aster as she licked her lips, and then she suddenly frowned, clearing her throat. “Okay. If you’re going, I’ll be there.”

“Don’t pretend you’re only coming out for me. Blair and Dom will probably be there, too. And Grace…with Mia.”

Eden’s eyes twinkled. Aster hadn’t realised it at first, but Eden lived a simple life. And the more time they spent together, the stronger their bond became. “I know. But I prefer your company. You’re the only one who makes sense during a conversation most of the time. I like that. I prefer that.”

“Well, thanks.” Aster grinned. Seemed she wasn’t so boring after all.

Eden busied herself on the computer. “So, what time should I be ready?”

“Whatever time you want to meet us there. Early, late, it doesn’t matter.”

“Oh.”

“What?” Aster spoke with her mouth full, almost choking on her sweet treat.

“I hoped we could head to the club together. But if you already have plans, I can arrive alone.”

Okay, that sounded terrible. She didn’t want Eden to arrive alone anywhere. And certainly not at a club. “I’ll pick you up. I…wasn’t sure if you wanted me to or not. It’s your first Saturday off in a long time; you could have a hot date planned before.”

“Get ready with me,” Eden said, glancing up over her screen and totally dismissing Aster’s comment about a date. “I’ll make us some cocktails while we get sorted and all that.”

Aster’s insides swirled. This was the feeling she’d been avoiding since she resigned herself to the fact that Eden wasn’t available weeks ago. It bubbled up now and then, more often than she’d like, but she was managing it. “Want me to bring anything over with me?”

“Just whatever you need.”

“Should I get there for around six? Is that too early for you?” Aster was trying to play it cool, but the idea of actually preparing for a night out with Eden wasn’t great in her mind. Well, it was, but it was the effect this woman would likely have that she was struggling with. Dressing, undressing…God, her head was spinning.

Eden appeared to be lost in her own thoughts.

“Eden? You there?”

Eden shook her head. “Sorry. Yes. Six is perfect.”

“Great.” Aster wore a wide grin, but one that had mixed feelings weaved through it. This wouldn’t be any different to them hanging out after work. It was the same as when they went shopping together. And it certainly couldn’t be any different to the night they sat around the dining table until after midnight while they sorted through images from an event they’d run. No. Nothing could be different…it’d all be fine.

* * *

“Right, I’m off.” Aster popped her head through the door, her hair now pulled up on her head. Eden could only admire her. Her soft skin, that dark blonde hair. All of her. This is painful. “Need anything before I go?”

“No. Nothing.” Eden powered down her computer, sitting back and crossing her legs. “I’m leaving in the next hour. Should I check in with Blair? See how they’re getting there?”

Aster shrugged, moving further into the doorway, her hip holding the door open. “Up to you. They could pick us up on the way. I assume they’re going, but I don’t know for sure.”

“I’ll call her. But I’m still up for a night out regardless.”

“Good. That’s what I like to hear.” Aster threw a wave over her shoulder as she left. “If anything changes, let me know. See ya, boss!”

Eden watched her leave, her hips swaying ever so slightly. Aster had a curvy figure, one that had been tempting Eden more and more as the months passed. When Eden had gone to apologise a few weeks ago, she hadn’t expected them to become such good friends. But in her mind, it was more than that. They were simply dancing around one another, waiting for the right moment. Eden felt it every time they were alone together. The fire she felt burning was becoming unbearable.

And Eden had decided that tonight would be the night she told Aster everything. She couldn’t wait much longer. Aster needed to know how she felt. Even if it turned to shit, Eden still had to say the words out loud to her. Because if she didn’t, she would lose her mind.

Every morning, she woke up thinking about the previous day they’d had together. Every night, she wondered what Aster would enchant her with the following day. All in all, Aster Bennett was all Eden thought about. But it was a nice place to be in her head. If Eden was being honest, she hadn’t ever thought so much about another person. She’d certainly never felt this was about any of the men she’d dated in the past. It was nothing more than going through the motions so people didn’t talk. But they talked anyway, regardless of what Eden chose to do. She was done with people and their opinions. This was her life and if she wanted Aster in it, she would make sure that happened.

But first, she needed to speak to her best friend. If Blair thought for one second that it was a bad idea for Eden to lay it all out, she needed to know now.

She picked up her phone and dialled Blair’s number.

“Hello, this is the happiest woman in the world, how may I help you?”

Eden snorted. “You’ve just had sex, haven’t you?”

“Maybe.” Blair sighed as Dom whispered beside her.

“You’re in bed, aren’t you? For God’s sake. I need your full attention for five minutes.” Eden didn’t need to hear how happy her best friend was right now, and she also didn’t need to hear the post sex bliss either. “I’m sorry to disturb you, but I need some advice.”

“Lesbian advice?”

Eden paused. Was that what she needed? Was that what she was? God, this was all so confusing. “Just…advice.”

“Okay, go!”

Eden released a slow steady breath, exhaling deeply through her nose. “I’m going to tell Aster how I feel tonight.”

The line silenced. Not a single breath could be heard.

“Blair?”

“Eden…”

“Yes?” Eden rolled her eyes.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea right now. You two are becoming friends. At least wait a while and see how it flows.”

“I can’t, Blair. I feel like I’m going to combust. She’s been sitting here today talking about holidays and bikinis, and I’m losing my fucking mind!”

“I don’t know, love. Are you going to do it when you’re alone?”

“Yes. Before we leave to meet you lot.”

“Y-you’re coming out?” Blair almost choked on her words. “I didn’t think it was your thing.” Eden hadn’t ventured out since the episode with Fi. She didn’t want to come across anything Aster could be getting up to. It was better…not knowing.

“It’s not. But Aster invited me, and I feel like we’re in a good place at the minute.”

“Don’t you want to stay in that good place?”

Eden sighed. “I want to be in a better place with her. An honest place. I can’t keep pretending to be her friend. It’s not fair to either of us. I can’t keep acting like her bestie when I want more.”

“What if it goes wrong?”

“You seemed adamant not too long ago that it wouldn’t. Right?”

“Yeah.”

Eden heard the shakiness in her best friend’s voice. That was never a good sign. But Blair was preoccupied so maybe it was best if Eden left her and Dom alone for the rest of the day.

“You know what, it’s okay. I’ll figure this out myself. Enjoy the rest of your afternoon, and say hi to Dom for me, won’t you?”

“Eden, I’m free to talk to you. But I…I don’t know what to say for the best. I want you to take the chance, but I’m not sure now is the right time.”

“Okay.” Eden suddenly felt despondent. She’d been building herself up for days, and now Blair was putting her off the idea. “Okay. I’ll wait. Maybe once the holiday is over and everything, I can sit down and talk to her. She probably thinks I’m only looking for a quick hook-up anyway.”

“I don’t think that’s the impression you give her at all. We’ll discuss this tonight, okay?”

Eden sighed, her mind swirling with the decisions she had to make. “Sure. Yeah.”