Smokey’s Turmoil by Erin Osborne
Chapter Seventeen
Jasmine
I’M STILL NOT sleeping. Every single day I come home from work to take a nap with Colby. He curls his little body up against mine and we crash on my bed until Charlotte gets home from school. My cousin is worried about me; it’s written in her eyes as she looks at me and watches me as I move around the house. I’ve gotten sick several times over the last few days. Once I’m done, I feel slightly better. Without a fever or anything else, I know it’s not the flu. It’s more than likely all of the stress from adjusting to what my life has now become.
After getting Charlotte off to school this morning, I took a long, hot shower to try and ease the aches from my body. Even though I can’t linger in the water since Colby will be awake and demanding his breakfast soon, I still give myself a few minutes to linger under the water before washing my hair and body. Drying off, I get dressed in a pair of jeans with a turtle neck. Running a brush through my hair, I listen as Colby begins to stir in his bed.
Setting my brush down, I make my way into his room. Colby snuggles into my body as I carry him into the bathroom. Helping him sit on his little potty chair, I brush my teeth, almost getting sick in the process. When he’s done, we head back in his room so I can dress him for the day. Today I have him in a pair of jeans with a sweatshirt. Pulling his socks up on his feet, Colby laughs as I tickle his feet. It’s what we do each and every morning that’s just part of our routine.
Colby grabs my hand as we make our way down to the kitchen so I can make him breakfast. This morning he’ll have pancakes and his juice while I have some tea. It’s the only thing that will even remotely begin to settle my stomach. I put him in his chair at the table that has a booster seat in it. Strapping him in, I grab the pancakes left over from his breakfast yesterday and make his plate while filling him a cup of juice. Sitting down next to him, I watch as Colby eats his breakfast with as much enthusiasm as he does everything else.
I can’t help but laugh at him. Colby does everything at one of two speeds; fast or faster. I’ve been trying to get him to slow down, but everything is an adventure for him as he discovers new things and learns something every day. That’s about the only reason I wouldn’t want him around the guys at the club because they don’t care who’s around when they let the swear words fly. Yes, they all try to curb their language when the kids are around, but right now I can’t afford any missteps with bad language being his first word. Marilyn would have to reprimand me in some way which could lead to a judge refusing me when it comes to adopting Charlotte and Colby.
When he’s done eating, I help Colby get cleaned up as I use a washcloth I’ve taken to keep down here for him. There isn’t a single meal he doesn’t get covered in whatever he’s eating. It’s adorable and surprisingly messy at the same time. This morning, I’m way too tired to do much more than what I have to do. I sigh out when I hear the knock on the door signaling the arrival of an ol’ lady. Walking to the door with Colby on my heels, I hold a hand to my stomach as it begins to once again revolt.
Opening the door, I find Natasha standing there looking perfect as usual.
“Morning Jas. How are you handsome?” she asks, bending down to tickle Colby.
“Morning Natasha,” I respond, stepping back so she can enter the house. “I’m sorry, I don’t even have his bag ready. It’s usually done the night before, but I fell into bed before I got around to it. Give me just a minute and I’ll have it ready.”
“Honey, take your time. You’re not looking too good Jasmine. Do you need to go to the doctor or something?”
“No. It’s just stress or something. I’ll be okay once we get on solid ground.”
Natasha gives me a smile as I make my way to Colby’s room. I add changing his bed to my ever-growing list of things to do. Grabbing him more clothes, pull-ups, wipes, and an extra pair of shoes and sweater for him to wear depending on where they are or what they’re doing today. After grabbing everything Colby will need for the day, I make my way back to the living room where Natasha is putting his coat and shoes on. Putting his things in the bag, I zip it closed before refilling his cup with juice.
“Jasmine, I really think you need to take a day off and not go into work today. You really don’t look as if you feel too good,” Natasha tries again.
“I’ve already made a doctor’s appointment, but I can’t get in for a week and a half. I’ll be okay until then. It’s not the flu or anything because I have no other symptoms than an upset stomach and being extremely tired,” I tell her, my voice wavering as a bout of nausea hits me full force.
Grabbing my purse, phone, and keys, I slip on my coat and shoes. Following them out the door, I head to my car so I can get to work. Jason follows me once again as he does every single morning. Another Prospect sits outside the house watching over me at night and Jason is here before I even leave the house. The poor guys can’t get a minute to themselves with sitting on my house or following me to work and everywhere else I need to be.
The entire ride to work, I keep breathing deep and trying to keep my nausea at bay. I’m not sure what else I can do because nothing seems to work when it gets really bad. Other than tea, I haven’t had a single thing to eat or drink. There isn’t much to get rid of from my stomach. I’m completely confused about what the hell is going on with me as I pull into the parking lot and take a minute to myself after shutting my car off. Jason, as always, stands by the door and holds it open for me.
Entering the diner, Corrinth is already cooking as music plays from her radio while I put my things under the counter and clock in. I start the coffee as my stomach does summersaults again. The smell of it as it begins to brew turns and twists it further. As I do my walk through of the main floor, I find several things out of place that wasn’t taken care of last night. Taking care of them, I can’t help but rush to the bathroom. There is no way in hell I’m going to be able to breathe my way through this shit.
Expelling the contents of my stomach and then whatever else is left, I’m in the bathroom for what feels like forever. There are several knocks letting me know that Jason and Corrinth know I’m sick in here. Sweat covers me and I’m even weaker than before getting sick. It’s insane how I’m feeling right now as I lay against the floor I really shouldn’t be laying on. Even after cleaning it, its dirty as hell.
After several more minutes of pounding on the door in order from Jason and barely hearing Corrinth on the phone, I push myself from the floor and make my way toward the sink. Turning on the cold water, I splash it on my face in an attempt to get rid of some of the shit from my face. Jason is now yelling through the door, but I don’t have a way to answer him. My throat is burning, and I don’t dare try to say anything. The fear of getting sick again is real as I try to deep breathe through it.
Finally, I stand up and open the door just as Jason goes to pound on the door again. He barely misses my face as he pounds again. Looking at me from head to toe, he takes in my pale face, messed up hair, and the layer of sweat coating my body. Corrinth is standing behind him holding her phone to her ear. I’m not sure who she’s talking to as tears streak down my face. I absolutely hate getting sick.
“Honey, you need to go home and get some rest,” Corrinth says, hanging up the phone. “Actually, you need to go to the doctor and find out what’s wrong with you. We need to get you better for those kids.”
“I can’t get into the doctor for another week and a half,” I tell her, swallowing hard as I continue breathing deep.
“Then go to the hospital to get checked out.”
As Corrinth finishes talking, the door of the diner opens. A sea of leather and tall, gruff men fill the dining room as Ink, Renegade, and Grave make their way to me. Each man takes a long look at me, taking in my haggard appearance. No one says a word as I make my way out to grab my things. Corrinth has already told me to go home.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her as she helps me to the door. “Now you have no one to help you with the morning rush.”
“Nothing to be sorry about sweetheart. I’ll have all the help I need in a matter of minutes. You’ve been doing everything in your power to take care of those kids. A lot has been going on in your life over the last several weeks. Now, it’s time for you to take care of yourself and go home. Go right to bed and don’t worry about the kids. The ol’ ladies will make sure they’re taken care of. You worry about you right now,” she tells me as Jason and Ink help me out to the passenger side of my car.
“I can drive,” I state, looking up at the men.
“No, you can’t,” Ink tells me, concern filling his face as he holds the door open for me.
As soon as I’m in the seat, Ink fastens my seatbelt. Jason is in the driver’s seat waiting for me to hand the keys over to him. I drop my purse in my lap and begin to dig through it. As soon as I grip the ring in my fingers, I pull them out and hand them over. No matter how horrible I feel right now, my body isn’t sore and achy, and I don’t have a fever. There is no logical reason other than stress for me to be feeling this way.
“We’ll be home in just a minute and I’ll help you get in bed. Or do you want to sleep on the couch?” Jason asks me as he points my car toward the house.
“My bed. I don’t want the kids to see me this way. Especially Colby.”
Several bikes must be following us to my house as the loud rumble fills the air. True to his word, Jason gets me home in a few minutes. Parking my car as close as he can to my door, Ink is once again at my side. He opens my door before helping me out and then up the stairs of the porch. Once we’re inside, Ink and Jason get me to my room and cover me up.
“I’m gonna bring you some water and crackers. If you feel better in a little bit, you can try to nibble on them. Otherwise, you need to take small sips of the water, so you don’t get dehydrated,” Jason informs me as he leaves me in the bedroom with Ink.
“Phoebe is gonna pick up Charlotte from school. We’ll keep them with us until it gets close to bedtime. I’m gonna have one of the other Prospects keep watch outside tonight since Jason will be in here with you. Charlotte and him will take care of Colby. If you’re not feelin’ better in the mornin’, I’m makin’ you go to the hospital. You’re only gettin’ worse Jasmine. This can’t keep happenin’,’ Ink tells me, making sure the blankets are covering me completely and I have everything I’ll need right on the stand next to me.
“Thank you, Ink. For everything. You and Phoebe have both been so kind to me.”
“No thanks needed Jas. We’re family and we’ll always help you. I’m serious. You’re not better tomorrow, you’ll be goin’ to the hospital. Expect Corrinth to come by and check on you later too. She’s really worried about you. We all are.”
“Not everyone,” I mutter under my breath.
“Yeah, he is. He’s lost right now, but he’ll come around. I hope you give him a second chance when he does. Smokey is a good guy and will do right by you. Whatever is blockin’ him from bein’ with you is slowly fadin’ away. He talked to Renegade and told him why he pushed you, and all of us, away. Renegade won’t betray his trust and tell us what was said. That’s why he’s our President.”
Jason enters the bedroom again with a few bottles of water, a package of crackers, a small garbage can, and a few other things he randomly grabbed. Setting everything down, he assures me he’ll be in the living room if I need anything. Closing my eyes, I try to calm down enough so I can take a nap. Maybe then I’ll be able to get up and take care of the kids without having to rely on everyone else to help me. It’s important I do this myself to prove I’m better than the man who helped create me. If I’m as uncaring and unloving as he is, the kids belong with other people. I won’t have them raised in a home the same way I was. It’s better to find out now if I’m up for the job.
My last thoughts as sleep slowly claims me are of Smokey. His face is smiling in my dreams as he walks toward me. It’s the same thing every single time. Smokey walking to me, but he never gets close. I’m not sure why I dream this because I usually wake up in a cold sweat. It’s honestly a fear of mine because I want him so bad. Well, actually it’s a reality because he did walk away. Finally, for the first time since he moved out of his apartment, a deep sleep pulls me under. I don’t hear a damn thing for the rest of the day.
