Smokey’s Turmoil by Erin Osborne
Chapter Nineteen
Jasmine
I’M LAYING ON the couch, still sicker than I’ve ever been in my life. Colby is sitting on the floor in front of me playing with his blocks as Charlotte does her homework at the kitchen table. I have absolutely no energy to get up and do much of anything. On top of going to school and having homework, Charlotte has been taking care of Colby when he gets home from spending time with the ol’ ladies, and she’s been picking up around the house, so it doesn’t get to out of control. Marilyn knows the situation and has assured me nothing is going to happen to take the kids from me.
Right now, my main concern is getting off the couch long enough to make dinner for the kids. I can’t stomach any food. Everyone has been trying to get me to go to the hospital, but it’s just stress or a type of flu that’s got me feeling like shit right now. I’ll get over it. Not to mention, I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow with my new doctor. Whatever is going on with me can wait for then. I’m not going to waste the time of nurses and doctors at the hospital or urgent care with my sickness because it’s more than likely just from the weather change and everything else that’s been going on in my life at the time.
A knock on the door sounds as Charlotte gets up from the table to answer the door. She knows to double check before just opening the door to anyone at this point in time. Honestly, I’m not sure she’d just open the door to anyone after what she’s been through with her parents and then being held against her will for however long. After checking through the small window along the side of the door, she opens it as Phoebe and Corrinth make their way inside.
“We’re here with dinner,” Corrinth says, her voice bright and sunny as she makes her way to the kitchen.
“Guys, I was just trying to get off the couch to make them dinner,” I tell the two women as they move around the house.
Colby is off the floor, running toward Phoebe as I try to sit up. It takes me a minute to get into a sitting position as the overwhelming urge to get sick hits me. Phoebe sits next to me on the couch, rubbing her hand up and down my back as I take several deep breaths. The feeling doesn’t go away, but it does ease up slightly. Giving a small smile to Phoebe, I try to push myself up.
“Honey,” Corrinth says as she makes her way into me. “We think you should do something. I don’t think you have the flu or are sick because of stress or the change of weather. Can you take this test for me?”
“What do you mean?” I question her, not sure what she’s talking about.
Corrinth digs in her purse to pull out two pregnancy tests. As I look at the boxes, my mind begins to calculate when my last period was. Yes, in the back of my mind I knew being pregnant was a possibility since Smokey and I never used a damn condom. Now, the feeling of getting sick is even worse than before. Between Phoebe and Corrinth helping me, I manage to get off the couch and head to the bathroom. Peeing on the sticks, I place them on the counter and finish taking care of business.
Looking in the mirror, I take in my appearance. I look like death warmed over with pale skin, bags under my eyes, my hair a matted mess, and not smelling the greatest. If I’m pregnant, I can’t imagine spending the next nine months feeling and looking like this. It’s horrible. Feeling so sick, I can’t even begin to imagine being happy about this pregnancy. It’s insane.
My thoughts then turn to Smokey. Yes, I’ll tell him about the baby and make sure he understands I won’t ask anything of him or make him see his son or daughter. That’s not what he wants and I’m not going to force him to do anything that’s not what he wants in his life. I have more than enough love to give a child. I’m already doing it with Charlotte and Colby. Well, I am when I’m not feeling as horrible as I am right now.
Taking a glance at the tests, I see a plus sign on one test and the word pregnant on the second one. Holy fuck! I take a deep breath trying to contain my emotions. This is something I need to process and figure out before I talk to Smokey or Charlotte finds out. I can’t even begin to think of what he’s going to think or say when I tell him.
“Honey, are you okay in there?” Corrinth’s voice comes through the door.
“Yeah. You can come in,” I tell her as I just stand in front of the tests.
Corrinth walks in the door, her gaze immediately landing on the tests sitting on the counter. A smile breaks out on her face as she turns her attention to me. Pulling me into her arms, Corrinth holds me close to her body for a minute before stepping back again. I sit on the closed toilet with my head in my hands. This is not what I was expecting at all. Not really. It didn’t even enter my mind I could be pregnant. Not since leaving Smokey’s apartment anyway. I pushed it to the back of my mind and tried not to let it get to me.
“What’s going through your mind honey?” Corrinth asks me quietly.
“I honestly don’t even know right now. Yeah, I knew it could be a possibility, but I didn’t want to think about it. Smokey doesn’t want a kid and he’s made it perfectly clear to me. I know I can do this on my own though. I’ll have to find a way to tell him. And get something so I can eat and drink. How I’ve been feeling can’t be healthy, can it?” I ask her, my voice wavering with unshed tears as they fill my eyes.
“Honey, you’ll be okay. We’ll get you to the doctor tomorrow morning and make sure there’s nothing wrong. The doctor will do tests or something tomorrow and we’ll go from there. When you’re ready to tell Smokey, I’ll be there with you if you want. If you want to do this on your own, we’ll make sure you get put in a room with him and don’t get disturbed while you talk,” she assures me. “Smokey might surprise you though.”
“I don’t think he will. He hasn’t been in the diner since he moved out of his apartment. I’ll just tell him about the baby and make sure he knows I don’t want anything from him. It’s the best thing I can do. I’ll also have to talk to Marilyn about things and see what her take is on this with me going soon to adopt Charlotte and Colby.”
“You don’t have to make any decisions tonight honey. Phoebe and I are going to stay awhile. I brought you some soup to try and eat. Hopefully you can keep it down. Have you been drinking water?” she asks, opening the door as I grab the tests and make my way into the bedroom to hide them for now.
Corrinth, seeing what I’m doing, grabs the boxes from the bathroom to make them disappear so Charlotte doesn’t see them. I don’t need her to know what’s going on right now. Not until I’ve been to the doctor and gotten proof from him or her about the pregnancy. Then, I’ll have a conversation with her about the baby and we’ll go from there. The last thing she needs is something else sprung on her with everything else going on.
Walking out to the kitchen, I sit down at the table with Charlotte, Phoebe, and Colby. They’re all eating whatever Corrinth has brought over for them. She places a small bowl of soup in front of me before taking the last chair at the table. There isn’t much space in here and I have taken the sixth chair from the table and placed it in the back room. It has just sat there for now.
“How are you feeling?” Charlotte asks me, her face filled with concern for me as it is every single day.
“A little better. Not much though,” I answer honestly.
Charlotte and I don’t keep secrets from one another. I’ve talked to her about everything letting her know she can tell me whatever she has to. I don’t want her to keep things from me because she’s scared I’m going to be mad or upset about anything that’s happened to her.
After dinner, Corrinth gives Colby his bath before Char takes her shower. When they’re both in bed and I’m ready to follow them, Phoebe and Corrinth each give me a hug and let me know they’ll be here first thing in the morning. Phoebe and Natasha will be here to take Charlotte to school and Colby for the day. Corrinth is going to head to the doctor with me. Especially knowing now that I’m going to be told I’m pregnant. Locking up the house for the night, I make my way to my room after checking on the kids. Climbing in bed, I pull the blankets up to my chin and close my eyes. My head swims with all sorts of jumbled thoughts as I try to stop them long enough to go to sleep.
Corrinth and I are sitting in the waiting room of the doctor’s office. I’m filling out the paperwork for new patients as she sits next to me. My legs are bouncing up and down with nerves. I’m not sure what to make of the situation at hand. All night I tossed and turned trying to figure out what I need to do. We’re going to have to move because the house we’re currently in isn’t big enough. There’s not enough room for the three of us plus a new baby and everything he or she will need to have. I feel horrible at the thought of uprooting both kids once more.
As I finish filling out the paperwork and hand in my insurance card for the receptionist to scan into their system, my name is called. Corrinth meets me at the door where a young nurse is waiting to lead us back. I’m weighed, my vitals are taken, and I’m asked to leave a sample in the bathroom. When I’m done with all of that, we’re led to an exam room.
“I understand you’ve been severely sick for a few weeks now?” the nurse asks me.
“Yes. I took two home pregnancy tests yesterday and they came back positive. I’ve had a lot going on in the last month or so with fostering two children, moving, and working. Well, trying to work. I’ve been extremely nausea and weak for over a week now,” I answer her.
“Okay. Well, Doctor Voight will be in shortly. I’ll make a note of the positive pregnancy tests and she’ll want to perform an exam. So, I’ll have you undress and put this gown on.”
The nurse smiles at me before leaving the room. Corrinth sits in the chair with her head behind a magazine. She’s giving me a few minutes of privacy so I can change into the gown and get up on the exam table. I’m feeling sick again.
“Are you nervous?” Corrinth asks me.
“Very.”
“You’ll be okay honey. No matter what happens here today, I’ve got your back. Phoebe and Ink do too. That’s all you need to know. Did you get any sleep last night?”
“Not really. I spent the night tossing and turning thinking about everything I’ll need to do. The house isn’t big enough for a baby and us. We’ll have to move. I hate to uproot the kids and make their lives crazy again. They’ve already gone through so much.”
“They’re resilient. Charlotte is an amazing girl who loves you more than you know. Colby is a happy and well-adjusted little boy with everything he’s had happen in his young life so far. You’re doing amazing with the life you’re building. Still, I think Smokey is going to surprise you and he’ll come around. It’s up to you whether or not you let him back in. Jasmine, you love that man. It’s written all over your face. You’ve been miserable since he pulled his shit. I’m here to tell you, he’s not doing much better. He misses you and is trying to figure out what he wants.”
“I’m not a choice. Smokey knows what he wants. I’m not the woman for him. It’s not a hard decision to make. He’ll know about the baby and that’s it. I’m prepared to raise this baby without him.”
“I know you are. You’re strong as fuck and will do amazing things.”
Before she can say another word, a knock sounds on the door just before it opens.
“Hello Miss King. I’m Doctor Voight. It seems congratulations are in order. You are definitely pregnant,” she says, holding out her hand for me to shake. “I’m going to perform an exam to make sure everything is okay. The nurse let me know you’ve been extremely ill. I’ll make sure you have some medicine for the nausea and get you started on prenatal vitamins. Next week, we can get you in for an ultrasound to make sure everything is okay. I want to give the medicine a chance to begin working.”
“Okay.”
Corrinth comes up and stands next to my head after Doctor Voight gets done with the upper body portion of my exam. I’m glad she thought of that because I certainly wouldn’t. Not thinking has gotten me into this entire situation. It’s not long before my exam is done, and I’m told to schedule an appointment for a month from now. I’m to take the medicine as prescribed and we’ll see if I begin to feel better. If I don’t, there’s a good chance I’m going to be admitted to the hospital. That’s the last thing I need to happen with the kids at home.
After getting dressed, I make my way out with Corrinth at my side. Making an appointment for a month from now, I’m told to expect a phone call about having an ultrasound done in the next day or two. They’re going to get it scheduled for as soon as possible. Corrinth leads me out to her car and heads in the direction of the diner. She’s going to feed me before dropping me back off at home. Plus, I’ll need to stop at the pharmacy so I can get my scripts filled.
There’s only a handful of customers inside eating and talking as I sit at the club’s table. They’ve already been in for breakfast and it’s not time for lunch just yet. I’ll be safe sitting here as Jason takes his seat at the counter as normal. He’s immediately given a cup of coffee from Carrie. I’m lost in thought about the baby as Corrinth makes me some toast. I’m not ready to try anything more than that just yet.
The diner begins to pick up as Corrinth makes her way to the kitchen to start cooking. With Jason here, I have him take me home instead of having her leave her business again. I know she’s had help from the ol’ ladies and men of the club, but this is her business. He takes me to the pharmacy, and we wait for my medicine before heading back home. Taking up my spot on the couch, I close my eyes willing sleep to come.
