Always Been You by Lily Miller
Nineteen
Olivia
“Thanks for holdingdown the fort this weekend.” Ellie glances up from the stem she is shearing with her floral clippers and shrugs.
“I was more than happy to. It was totally fine, Olivia. Leah and I had it under control. No problemo. You know, Leah wants to work more, and we should be taking advantage of that. We can’t always be here, and we know we can trust her.”
“You’re right, I know. It’s just been the two of us for so long, it’s hard sometimes to make changes.”
“Well, get used to it. I assume now that you are Parker’s love slave, he will be wanting to whisk you away more often.”
“God Ells, you make my relationship sound super sexy.” I shake my head and continue reviewing the orders that need to be completed for the day.
“Are you ready for today? What’s the plan once your dad is released?”
“We are going back to my mom’s for dinner. I don’t expect to stay too long. Seeing as he is moving back in with her after all these years, I think they will need some time to feel comfortable around each other. They have a lot they need to sort out, and that’s an understatement.”
“I think you are right about that. I also think it’s best that you ease in to being a part of your dad’s life again.” Ellie moves around the large table to grab floral foam for the arrangement she is working on. “Kate seems to be handling it well. Did you hear that she went to another speed dating event again this past weekend? I swear that girl will never learn. She said one of the guys brought his mom with him – she had a binder and was taking notes the entire time. She had an actual notebook with colored tabs to keep track of all the women. But that wasn’t even the worst part! He still lives with his mom in a two-bedroom apartment. Kate said he is in his late thirties! Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Stop it! I can’t take it. She’d be better off trying to find her future husband at a gay bar,” I tease at my sister’s expense.
“I’ll spare you the details about the guy who came after him who smelt like brie cheese. We need to save her, Liv. We can no longer stand by and watch this train wreck.”
Ellie and I spend the rest of the morning filling orders and helping walk-in clients choose the perfect gift. My phone vibrates in my pocket and I expect it to be Parker, considering he’d already texted and called me more times than I can count.
I check the text and am surprised to see that it’s not from Parker. It’s from Jules and she would like to meet for lunch. Something tells me Parker has put his sister up to this considering the timing. It’s his way of being there for me even though he’s hundreds of miles away. It’s thoughtful of him and I’m touched by the gesture. I send her a quick text back and let her know I can meet for a quick one. She replies with an offer to come my way to make it easier for me. We decide to meet at the coffee shop right down the street from Bloom at noon.
It’s five after twelve when I rush through the door of the café and find Jules already seated at a table by the window. She stands and greets me with a hug.
“Thank you for having lunch with me, Olivia. I was looking forward to seeing you on Wednesday for yoga but I’m really happy I get to see you a little sooner.”
“Me too, Jules. Thanks for inviting me. I don’t often get out for a real lunch, so this is a treat. How have you been?”
“I’ve been great. Busy with work, nothing exciting. Alex was away at a conference all weekend, so I spent some time with Miles. He’s leaving soon for his vacation before he starts filming so it was nice to get some extra time with him.”
“I love your relationship with your brothers, the love you have for one another.” I unfold my napkin, laying it across my lap.
“I’m a lucky girl. Not always, though. Dating in high school was pretty much impossible with three older brothers.”
“I can only imagine.”
The waitress takes our orders, but only after going on and on about Jules being related to the Miles Bennett. I think she might be the head of his fan club. I think she might also have his face tattooed on her back. Maybe a shrine to him in her living room? Just a guess.
“Does that happen often? She was intense.”
“It does. Reed Point is a pretty small town, especially when your brother is a celebrity. I’m used to it.”
“He has definitely made a name for himself. His face is everywhere. I really need to watch one of his movies.”
“You mean you haven’t seen one of Miles’ movies? He’s made so many, how have you managed to avoid them?” She scrunches her face together in shock.
I sigh. “I haven’t, I’m embarrassed to say. I tried for many years to push Parker from my mind. Watching one of Miles’ movies wouldn’t have helped with that.”
“Gah, Olivia, I’m so happy you two have found your way back to each other. It really is a love story. I’ve never seen him so happy. He’s crazy about you. He’s also really worried about you. I know today is a tough one for you.”
“So, my suspicions were right. Parker asked you to check on me today, didn’t he?”
Jules clears her throat and shifts in her seat. “He did. He called me this morning and asked if I could check on you, but I was happy he did. He filled me in on your dad coming home today. I hope you don’t mind me knowing.”
“I don’t mind. It’s okay and I appreciate you being there for both myself and your brother. I’m lucky to have you both in my life.”
“Of course. We are friends now, Olivia. You’re stuck with me. I’m hoping for life, by the way. And it doesn’t end with me. My whole family would like to be here for you and support you in any way we can.”
My eyes well with unshed tears. I bite my lip, trying to keep them from spilling down my cheeks. Not only do I have this amazingly supportive man, but I have his equally caring and loving family who have always made me feel like I belong.
“Oh no, I’m sorry Olivia. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
“No, no. It’s okay, Jules.” I dab my eyes with my napkin. I feel like such a fool. “I just feel so lucky to be loved by your family. It means more to me than you’ll ever know.”
We finish lunch, hug goodbye and make plans for yoga and drinks with Ellie and Kate on Wednesday. By the time I get back to Bloom I feel like I just might be able to get through this day. My visit with Jules gave me a renewed sense of faith that everything will be okay. No matter what happens today, I have Parker, a man who loves me and who will always have my back. I am overcome with the feeling that I’m where I’m supposed to be, that I deserve happiness after everything I’ve been through.
“A special delivery for Olivia Madden.” Ellie grins as a delivery guy walks though Bloom’s doors. I take the package from him and politely thank him. I can’t find a sender’s name on it anywhere, so I unwrap it and find a small royal blue box tied with a white ribbon. There’s a note in the package as well.
Always my star. I love you. Parker.
“Let me guess. Judging by the look on your face, it’s from Parker?”
“Yes.” I open the little box and my eyes go wide. I cover my mouth with my hand. It’s the star necklace I eyed in Seaside. My heart nearly bursts through my chest. When did he purchase this?
Just when I thought I couldn’t love him more.
Ellie is smiling. “Can I help you put it on?”
I hold my hair up so Ellie can slip the chain around my neck and fasten it. It’s the nicest gift I have ever received. I rub the diamond star between my fingers, wishing Parker was here to see me wearing it, to see the happiness he brings me. Six months ago, I never would have believed that my life could be this good.
* * *
“I think that’s him.”Kate points to the prison gates. There is a lump in my throat. I fight to swallow it down.
My father walks towards us, accompanied by his lawyer. He’s wearing grey slacks and a navy sweater. His hair is trimmed very short, almost buzzed. With each step he takes I’m closer to the man responsible for so much of my pain. I notice the changes in his appearance. He looks pale and thin, he’s aged.
He approaches us with hesitation. He doesn’t look like the powerful, confidant man he once was. My chest tightens. For the first time in years my father is within reach.
“My girls, thank you for coming today. You have no idea how good it is to see the three of you. I’ve waited for this day a long time.”
“It’s good to see you too, Dad. You look good.” Kate moves towards him and hugs his narrow frame.
I stand to the side, avoiding eye contact. It is difficult seeing him like this, a weaker version of himself. My mother pulls him in, immediately bombarding him with our plan for the evening as though he’s just arrived home from a business trip or something. My dad seems to be going along with her craziness for the moment.
I’m saved for last because it’s no secret that I have struggled the most with this. I can see the nervous tension in his eyes and feel the apprehension thick in the air between us. My pulse is racing.
“Hi my sunshine. It’s good to see you. Thank you for coming. It means a lot to me, Olivia.” I look up, making eye contact, but don’t move. Sunshine. Hearing him use the old nickname sparks something in me that I wasn’t expecting to feel. It brings me back to a time when we were all happy. I wonder if it’s possible to get back there again.
We are interrupted by his lawyer, who runs through the conditions of his parole. He will have to check in with his parole officer bi-weekly starting with his first meeting in person tomorrow. Travelling outside the United States will be off the table for the next five years. His lawyer pats him on the shoulder, tells him to go be with his family and that they’ll talk tomorrow.
We thank him for what he has done for my father and head to the car. Kate offers my dad the passenger seat while she drives. We drive to my mom’s house, an uncomfortable tension between us.
Kate awkwardly attempts to make conversation but reverts to silence when it falls flat. My mother, on the other hand, is talking a mile a minute like a toddler on a sugar high. It’s a lot. If Kate would just slow down the car just a little bit, I’d consider throwing myself from it. My hand floats up to the pendant around my neck, my fingers rubbing the small star. I think about Parker. He has given me the strength to get through today without even knowing it.
Kate pulls into the driveway and my seatbelt is off and I have one foot out the door before she has time to put it in park. We make our way to the front steps, my dad eyeing the house my mother now lives in, one he has never even stepped foot in. I wonder what he thinks of it. It’s a far cry from the four thousand square feet we lived in before we lost it all.
“The gardens look beautiful honey. You always had a good eye for flowers. It’s where Olivia gets it from.” My dad turns to me with a sheepish grin on his face. “I would love to see Bloom one day soon. Do you think it would be okay if I stopped by for a visit?”
“That would be fine, Dad. I would be happy to show you around.”
“Thanks kiddo.” I’m reminded it has been that long since I have had him in my life. I was a kid when he left, and he still thinks of me that way.
“Let’s get you inside and get you fed. I bet you are dying for a home-cooked meal. I’ll get dinner ready while you three catch up. Maybe you girls can show your Dad around.” My mom opens the door and we follow her inside.
“We can do that.”
The tour takes all of five minutes. The house is small with just a family room and kitchen on the left side of the entrance and three bedrooms and two bathrooms on the right. It’s dated, but in good condition. My mother has always made sure the home is well taken care of and does her best to fill it with love.
We sit down for dinner at the small round table, there is just enough room for the four of us. It feels so different. The last time we ate a meal together, we sat in a large dining room under an oversized crystal chandelier and ate off of fine china. I notice my dad shift in his seat and wonder how he’s feeling, seeing all of these changes that he is responsible for.
“This really looks delicious. Thank you for this meal and for being here tonight with me. I know this hasn’t been easy on all of you and I’m fully aware I’m to blame. I hope we can start to rebuild what we lost, and you can find it in your hearts to forgive me.”
“Of course we can, honey. We are a family. Right girls?”
I quickly fill my mouth with a fork full of food, thinking that’s the easiest way to avoid answering the question. I nod my head to smooth things over.
“What’s your plan now, Dad?” Kate asks.
“Good question. I’m going to start by apologizing to all the people I hurt. It’s going to take some time, but I hope I can undo the wrongs I inflicted. I want to move forward with my life after that.” My dad rakes his hand through his short hair and lifts his gaze to Kate and me.
“I’m not sure what the future will hold for me, honestly. I’ve had eight years to think about this. My priority is becoming a good husband and father and making up for the time we lost. I need to start by apologizing to my family first. Kate and Olivia, I hope you know how sorry I am for the pain I caused you both. You lost everything because of my actions. That was never my intention. I don’t want to make any excuses for my actions but please know I never wanted to hurt you.”
If there’s anything I’ve learnt from the last two weeks with Parker, it’s that second chances can be worth the risk. Letting go of the past is the only way to move forward. I’ve spent too long being angry and I need to let it go. Being with Parker has changed my point of view. It won’t be easy, but I need to give my dad a chance.
“We’ll get there, Dad. It’s just going to take a little time. But I’d like to try.”