Always Been You by Lily Miller
Twenty
Parker
He’s already sittingat the bar when I walk into the pub. I can’t even look at him. The son of a bitch is lucky I’ve had four days to calm down. I take the seat beside him. My teeth are grinding in my mouth, my jaw ticking.
“Hey man.” Hunter looks up at me from his stool. I don’t waste any time because I can’t. I feel like a ticking time bomb ready to explode.
“How could you?”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Livy told me what you said to her. You are the fucking reason she broke up with me back then. It was you. My supposed best friend.” My eyes narrow on this prick beside me who I thought I knew.
Hunter sits in silence, staring into his pint of beer. I am prepared to sit here all night if I have to in order to hear whatever bullshit excuse he has for me. The bartender takes my drink order and brings me a scotch neat. I think I might need this drink to take the edge off. Every part of me wants to kill him.
“How dare you say that crap to her? Who the fuck did you think you were to belittle her like that? What kind of an asshole are you?”
“I was a dick,” Hunter says, shaking his head. “It was a total dick thing to do.”
“Why did you do it? Why the hell would you say that shit to her?”
He takes a long pull of his beer, his knuckles turning white from gripping the tall glass.
“I don’t know man. It was a stupid thing to do.”
“You’re going to have to do better than that Hunter. You owe me an explanation after what you did,” I sneer, my teeth clenched. My molars most likely disintegrating as we speak.
He runs his palms down his face and drops his head to his glass. “I guess I just got tired of always watching you get what you wanted. You got the car, the trophies, the good grades, the girls, and it grated on me. I wanted Olivia. I used to walk home from school with her and I thought she liked me too. But she wanted you. It was one more thing you had that I wanted.”
“So, you thought cutting her down and breaking her heart was the way to get back at me?” My head is spinning. “I thought I knew you, but apparently I never have.”
“I’m sorry, Parker. I can’t believe I did that to you.”
“I can’t believe it either.”
“I’m sorry, Parker,” he says again.
“Fuck you, Hunter.”
I down the rest of my scotch and stand up, my fists cracking at my sides. Hunter turns his face towards me, and I can tell he’s not sure if I’m going to leave or knock him out. I don’t make him wait long for the answer. I draw my right hand back and land a punch to the center of his face. He takes it like a man, I’ll give him that much. The asshole had it coming.
* * *
“What happened to your hand, Parker?”I grimace as Livy inspects my battered knuckles. She moves towards the freezer, fumbling through its contents. She finds the bag of peas that she’s looking for and motions to the kitchen table for me to take a seat. She searches though the drawers for something else.
“Hunter’s face,” I blurt out.
She glances over her shoulder at me and her eyes go wide.
“Shit Parker, what happened?”
She finally pulls a tea towel from a drawer and wraps it around the bag of frozen vegetables. She sits in a chair across from me and reaches for my throbbing hand, resting the cold peas across my knuckles. Her brown eyes travel from my hand up to my eyes, her brows knit with worry.
“I let him know what an asshole he is.”
“Oh God Parker, I’m sorry it came down to that.”
“Don’t be. I’m not. I don’t want to talk about it. I haven’t seen you since Sunday. Can we take this bag of peas to the patio with a couple of glasses of wine?”
“We can,” she says without judgement in her eyes. She gives me a quick kiss and I push up from my chair and kiss her again.
“I missed your mouth. Fuck, I love your mouth.” My chest tightens as she turns towards the kitchen. I watch her perfect, toned ass as she walks away from me to fetch a bottle of red and two glasses. My girl has no idea what she does to me. My mind wanders to the all the different ways I could make her scream my name right now. I’ll save that thought for tonight.
For the next couple of hours, we sit together on the porch of the beach house watching the sunset. I drove home last night and asked Livy to meet me here with enough clothes for the next two weeks. I like having her around me as much as possible. It’s not the same when we are apart. She humored me, arriving with a small suitcase of her belongings. Not even remotely enough if you ask me, but I’ll take what I can get.
We spend the next two weeks in our usual routine, working during the day and spending evenings together at the beach house.
We met Miles, Kate and Ellie for dinner at Catch 21 on a Saturday night and on the following Sunday we had dinner at her parents’ house. The last and only time I met a girlfriend’s parents it was the Maddens, and that was way back in high school. Livy’s parents were more than welcoming and any tension I was expecting was nonexistent. For the most part, Livy was very much herself and her dad seemed like he was readjusting as well as possible. It was good to see the weight of everything lift from Livy’s shoulders.
We trade flirty texts during the day, and nights always end with the two of us racing home to tear each other’s clothes off. We have made the beach house our home together and there’s nowhere I’d rather be. I can’t imagine going back to my old ways, living in a hotel on my own with a different girl every weekend. That whole life feels foreign to me now. Livy is it for me. She’s the one I’ve wanted my entire life and now I have her. I just need to figure out how we are going to make this work long-term.
I have an official move date now on the calendar. In five days, I will settle into a hotel near the Cape May property we are building. Then shortly after that, my rental home will be ready for me.
The thought of only seeing Livy on weekends is killing me, but for now, it’s our only option until we can work something out. On that front, there is something Livy doesn’t know, something I need to tell her. I found the perfect spot in Cape May for a new Bloom location. It’s a bright and airy retail space in a heritage building on one of the busiest shopping streets in Cape May, and it’s up for lease. It is smack in the middle of a row of popular cafes and boutique shops and it wouldn’t take much to get it up and running. When I saw it, all I could think about was Livy. I could practically see her in the window doing what she loves and smiling back at me. I have no idea if she will love the idea and consider moving there to be closer to me, or if she might hate me for even suggesting it.
Tonight, we’ve invited my brothers, Jules and Alex and Kate and Ellie over for a cook-out at the beach house. It feels like we are all going in different directions soon, so we wanted to get everyone together while we still can.
Livy raced around all day shopping for groceries and cleaning the house. She has fresh flowers in every room and candles covering the patio. She’s made some sort of tropical drinks that smell like rum and pineapple and are going down way too easy. A playlist of her favorite country music plays in the background. She’s the perfect host.
Jules and Alex are the last two to arrive. Livy hands them each one of her special fruity concoctions before they can even get through the door. We join everyone else outside on the patio where Livy has a table full of appies laid out.
Ellie rushes over to Jules, who is standing next to me. “Jules! I’m so happy to see you. This must be Alex.” She hugs the two of them, exchanges a few pleasantries, then pulls Jules by the arm to where Kate and Livy are. The four of them wrap their arms around each other and giggle. I love how Livy has embraced a relationship with my sister, but I’m not surprised. Livy has a way with people. People gravitate towards her because she’s real and has a heart as big as the ocean.
“How’s my brother? I haven’t seen you all week. Is that what happens when you drink the Kool-Aid and fall in love?” Liam busts my balls.
“Seen me? I don’t even recognize you. What’s with the new hair, Liam?”
“Yeah Liam. Don’t tell me you paid for that? Did you ask for the ‘I’ve got a massive stick lodged up my ass’ look?” Miles pipes up with a grin.
“Leave me alone, it was the girl’s first day. I probably should’ve bolted when she told me that. Judging from you assholes, it’s as bad as I thought,” Liam snaps back and takes a long pull of his beer.
“It’s not that bad if you were going for a 90s cheesy soap opera star.”
“Dammit.”
“I wouldn’t worry about it. You have no one to impress but your computer screen and your four-legged friend Murphy. You know, Liam, I think he might be the only one for you,” I add with a laugh.
“Thanks boys. You two are great for my ego.”
“Anytime. Hey, have you talked to Hunter since you clocked him?” Miles questions me, sliding into his best boxer stance, his hands balled into fists.
“Nope, and I’d be happy if I never saw him again. That guy is a total douchebag.”
“That’s not news. Hunter has always been a bit of a dick. But do you really think your friendship is dead? Our families are close. There’s no question you will have to see him from time to time.”
“I’m nowhere near getting over what he did. Now can we change the subject? I invited you guys here for a good time and talking about that fuck nut is killing my mood.” I knock back the rest of my beer and look over to where the girls are.
The girls are huddled together on the patio loungers and I wander over to see if I can get anyone a drink. I hear Jules say in total disgust. “I want zero part of this. I’m out with this conversation.”
“What’s going on over here ladies? Why does my sister look completely horrified?”
“Parker, sit. We need to run this past you.” Livy taps the cushion beside her, and I lower myself down, stretching my arm around her shoulder.
My eyes take in her big brown eyes and long dark lashes. She’s wearing a pale pink fitted tank top and a pair of her jean shorts that drive me crazy. Her hair is pulled over to one side, floating down her shoulder in golden waves. Her new diamond star pendant glimmers around her neck. I notice she likes to run her fingers over it when she is nervous or deep in thought, along with biting her bottom lip. She’s fucking cute.
I lean in because I assume that’s what I’m supposed to be doing since the four of them are crouched together whisper-talking.
“Olivia and I think that Liam and Ellie would make a cute couple. What do you think?” Kate asks, her eyebrow arched.
“Seriously? Even with that haircut?” I gesture to Liam, who is on his phone with a serious look on his face. Always working. When will he figure out there’s more to life?
“Yeah, what the hell happened there? He didn’t actually pay for that hack job, did he?” Jules laughs.
“Don’t worry. We’ve been giving him the gears about it all night.”
“Enough about of his hair. He’s nice, smart and hot. Smoking hot, actually, and look at those muscles,” Kate continues. “I can totally see the two of them together. How cool would it be if it worked out? Olivia and Ellie could be sisters-in-laws! It’s perfect, like something you’d read in a romance novel. We have to set this up.”
“Have you guys thought this through? Ellie would be bored to death. Liam’s idea of fun is talking about… court things.” I shrug my shoulders and pull Livy in a little closer to me.
“Court things? Are you drunk? What the hell are court things?” Jules asks.
“I don’t know! That’s the point. It’s too boring for me to even think about what he does all day in his office.” I laugh because it’s true.
Livy grabs my face and pulls me in for a kiss and says, “It’s a good thing you’re pretty, Parker.”
We all decide another round of Livy’s drinks are needed. I also need to start up the barbecue. If we don’t eat soon, this party is going sideways fast with the amount of alcohol we are all knocking back.
Everyone is having a great time. The girls have turned up the music, creating a makeshift dance floor on the sand below the deck. They are barefoot and singing at the top of their lungs, spinning and twirling each other around and around.
I watch the girls dance to a few songs together before I make my way to the sand and wrap my arms around Livy’s waist from behind. I pull her back into my chest and sway to the music before pushing her out and around for a spin. I pull her into my chest, one arm on her lower back and the other behind her neck. Her citrus shampoo and vanilla scent are intoxicating as we sway, swept up in the cool ocean breeze.
“You’re a good dancer, my Livy girl.” I tell her, my mouth in her hair above her ear.
Livy pulls back, lifting her eyes to me. I put my hand on her cheek and lower to kiss her. She tastes like pineapple and salt. “I love tonight, Parker. I’m so happy we did this. I think everyone is having a good time too.”
“Including those two. Look to your right Liv.”
Livy turns her head, with a complete lack of subtlety. Her eyes grow large watching Ellie in Liam’s arms, dancing to the music.
“Oh gosh, I love love. Look at them! Do you think it’s possible? I can see them together. Oh my gosh, we could double date.” Livy’s eyes fall to the floor and her pretty smile is replaced with sadness.
“Babe, what’s wrong?” I have a feeling it’s because I’m leaving soon and it’s killing her as much as it’s killing me. There isn’t a fragment of me that wants to leave her here in Reed Point without me. Everything in me screams that it’s wrong for us to be apart, but I can’t ask her to give up her life for me. I lift her chin with my fingers, forcing her to look at me.
“No, it’s nothing. I’m fine, Parker.”
“Livy, it’s going to be okay. We will figure it out.” I kiss the top of her head and wish I could do something to make her laugh. That turns out to be incredibly easy when I look back to my brother and Ellie.
“I’m not sure Liv, but match-making might just be another one of your secret powers.” I shift our bodies, so Livy has a better view of Ellie and Liam.
Liam has his two feet planted in the sand, his arms crossed over his body, seemingly captivated by the display that is going on in front of him. Ellie is lip syncing to “I Wanna Dance with Somebody,” her hips shimmying left to right, one arm in the air and the other mimicking a microphone. A cocky smile crosses Liam’s mouth, his eyes never leaving Ellie. He’s into it.
Livy gasps and quickly covers her open mouth with her hand.
“As different as the two of them are, Ellie is just what your brother needs. Someone to loosen him up and get him away from his office. I mean, just look at him - he’s loving every second.”
It’s been a long time since I’ve seen my brother with a woman, and I’d be surprised if this went any farther than tonight. My brother is addicted to his work. Everything else is a distant second. He doesn’t like distractions, so he sticks to one-night stands and no strings attached. Ellie is strong enough to handle him, though. I make a mental note to push him in her direction. Livy is right, a girl like Ellie is just what Liam needs.
“I’m thinking your tropical drinks might get the credit for what’s happening between them,” I laugh. “It looks like Ellie has had her fair share.”
I take Livy’s hand and spin her around, dipping her towards the sand. I kiss her soft lips and she smiles. She tilts her head back, so I move in and kiss the sensitive skin of her neck. She squeals and I pull her up to standing. Livy reaches her hands up to my shoulders and wraps her hands behind my neck. I kiss her again, this time with a little tongue.
“Get a room, you two,” Miles hollers from the deck. “The barbecue is ready, and these steaks aren’t going to cook themselves.”
A few minutes later, the boys and I are grilling the steaks while drinking beers and when they’re ready we all find a spot on the patio to eat. The sun is setting as we finish dinner, and the party continues under the glittering expanse of stars. The flicker of the candles Livy placed around the patio provide just the right amount of light.
Livy is on the patio talking to Miles and Alex. She must feel my eyes on her because she turns to face me, and our eyes hold. There’s an electricity that pulses through the air between us. It feels like we are the only two people on the patio. Her eyes sparkle and lock on mine and there’s lust in her eyes. It’s the sexiest form of foreplay. My dick twitches in my pants thinking about finally getting her alone tonight.
I shoot her a wink and in four long strides I’m standing beside her. I clasp my hand in hers and lace our fingers together. I press a kiss to her temple.
“Hey you. Miles was just pointing out that Liam and Ellie have been missing for a while. Any idea where they are and if they are together?”
“No.” I shrug. “I know nothing, but I’m definitely curious.”
“Let’s find them!” Kate grabs Livy’s arm and they rush into the house.
“Poor Liam, those two won’t quit until they find them,” Alex sighs, and I nod because I know he’s right.
“I’ll be back. I’ll bring beer.” I walk inside towards the bathroom and find Livy and Kate peeking into the bedroom doors. They are tiptoeing. Olivia has her pointer finger touching her lips, shushing Kate. They look ridiculous and I can’t stop myself from smiling.
“Really, you two? Get a life. Let them have their fun.”
“We have to know if they’re doing what we hope they’re doing. Then we will leave them to it. Go away, Parker, you are a heat score.”
I roll my eyes and reach for the handle to the washroom. Before my hand can properly grasp the metal, the door opens a smidge and Ellie slips out with a little less lipstick than usual and her cheeks flushed. Her hair tousled, there’s a guilty look in her eyes. She looks freshly fucked. My eyebrow arches, a smirk covers my lips.
She closes the door behind her and uses her body like a shield across the wood door, her arms at her sides and her palms pressed firmly against the door.
I cock my eyebrow and smirk. “Hi.”
“Hi,” Ellie answers nervously.
“Um, can I use the washroom?” I motion to the door, wondering what her next move will be and how she plans on getting out of this awkward situation.
Her neck starts to turn a deeper shade of pink and I actually feel bad for her. She is clearly dying of embarrassment and I’m not making the situation easier on her. It gets worse. Kate and Livy arrive at my side and I’m pretty sure they will not go as easy on Ellie as me.
“I knew it!” Kate bellows. “Liam is in there isn’t he? You guys just did it in the washroom.”
Ellie is now the color of a tomato. Stammering, she says, “I plead the fifth.”
“Of course you do. You just fucked a lawyer.”
“Okay girls, the jig is up. Why don’t you two get back to the party,” I say through a laugh, motioning in the direction of the patio.
I’m interrupted by a sound from behind the washroom door, something hitting the ground and that’s all the confirmation the girls need to know that Liam and Ellie were in there together. The girls grab Ellie and pull her down the hall for what I imagine will be a gruelling interrogation.
I definitely don’t want to be standing here when Liam makes his exit. The master bathroom seems like the better alternative. I rap my knuckles on the door twice to let Liam know the coast is clear while making my way down the hall to the ensuite.
The party eventually winds down, with Liam and Ellie the last ones to leave. Liam offers to share his Uber with Ellie and we watch as Liam holds the door open for her. He sets his hand on the curve of her back, guiding her into the backseat.
“That was definitely unexpected.” I follow Livy inside, shutting and locking the door behind me.
“Who would have ever expected Liam and Ellie to hook up? They are complete opposites, but I love it.”
Livy walks to the kitchen and opens the cupboard under the sink, bending lower to remove a trash bag. She begins to move around the beach house tossing empty bottles into the bag.
“So, it went down in the bathroom?”
“I’ll never tell. I’m the keeper of all her secrets. What kind of best friend would I be if I snitched? Snitches get stitches, Parker.” She moves outside to the patio with the large bag, continuing to clean up the empties. I follow her onto the porch, checking the candles to make sure they’ve been snuffed.
“I had no idea my girlfriend is so badass.”
“Oh, you have no idea.”
“I’d like to find out then.” She’s got my attention, whether she intended to or not. The thought of Livy playing the bad girl puts me right over the edge.
“Parker, you have that look in your eyes. I know exactly what’s going through your mind right now.”
Livy stops what she’s doing, and she drops the trash bag to the floor.
“If you want me, Parker, come get me.”
Dammit, this girl is my weakness. I’m standing in front of her before she can blink. Her eyes narrow as she reaches for my neck, grasping the base of my neck. She pulls me down for a kiss. It’s heated and full of need. I’ve waited all night to get my hands on her and I’m not wasting another second.
I break the kiss because I have other plans, scooping her up and throwing her over my shoulder fireman style. “Parker,” she giggles and playfully slaps my ass.
I carry her inside, stopping to lock the patio door with my free hand, knowing I have no intention of leaving the bedroom until morning. And even then, I might just decide to stay there until dinner.
I carry her through the living area and down the hall to the bedroom, ignoring the mess from the party.
That can wait until tomorrow. Right now, I need to feel Livy’s body underneath me and watch her lose control.